Blurring the Lines (18 page)

TWENTY-THREE

The backstage scene wasn’t new to Corinne, but the energy pinged around inside her making her smile.

“I’m not sure what you want,” Chris said. “I want to keep my arms around you all night, but if that makes you uncomfortable, you need to tell me.”

She blinked in the backstage hallway, music pounding into her ears. Kings of Leon were still on, which meant Maroon 5 was still backstage as well as a few other bands that rested in her iPod. Some kind of benefit concert Max had explained, but Corinne had been distracted. Her stomach quivered in nervous excitement as she clutched Chris’ hand more tightly.

She dropped a kiss just under his ear.

“I was hoping this would be your answer,” he said.

“Chris, good to see you.” A hand came out of nowhere, slapping him on the shoulder, and Corinne jumped as the man walked past.

Holy shit. Lead singer...

“He’s an ass.” Chris shook his head with a smile. “But you gotta like the guy.”

Right. She was back in this world where every other person who passed her would be someone famous.

The music quieted and the crowd roared and settled into general chaos as backstage was flooded with crew.

“I gotta run. I’m doing a quick song, and then we can take off or listen to the rest. Up to you.”

Closing her eyes for the briefest moment, she begged her mind to let herself relax into the chaotic awesomeness of her situation and not over
think.

“I’ll follow you.”

And she did. Watched as someone helped Chris with his guitar and listened to the crowd go insane as he stepped onto the stage.

She bit her lower lip, her Chris suddenly looking very
Christian Meyer
like. He tapped the strings a few times, checking tuning, did a few riffs and then made eye contact with the audience.

“So. I survived rehab,” he teased and they laughed with him. “And I’m trying something different with a few friends of mine.”

A few shouts.

“Something I hope you like.”

His staccato strumming settled into a beat she found herself rocking to, and then his words filled the stadium.

“…You know a man…”

She found herself tapping her fingers on her skirt.

“…ain’t no special thing…”

A few more beats

“…without a woman…”

“…to make him see things…”

A few more beats.

“The path is long and straight, or curvy and delayed…

A few more beats of finger-picking.

“…like the woman…”

Cat calls and shouts accompanied his wagging brows and Corinne felt her body flush. She breathed in deeply. She’d missed this. The energy. The people. The backstage insanity. The rehearsals. The
music.

He finished to a standing ovation and grabbed her in his arms the second he stepped off stage. “I’ve missed that.” He held her tighter. “So much.”

Her fingertips dug into his back as they both held on and Neon Trees moved for the stage.

“I’m glad you were here.”

“Me too.”

He pulled away just far enough to take her mouth with his, kissing her, his body pressing against hers, and weakening her knees.

“Let’s mingle.” He held her waist and they walked for the door back toward the greenroom, Corinne buzzing in energy and nearness.

She met men and women who’d written some of her favorite songs. Who performed some of her favorite songs. And as much as she wanted to remember that she’d done this all before, it was different. It felt different. Both more exciting and more real now that she was older. Or had more experience or…

“I’m gonna steal this guy for a moment,” Adam said before grabbing Chris by the arm.

Chris shrugged, and she guessed they were friends. Corinne smiled so he’d know she was fine. The drummer for the Neon Trees was around here somewhere, and Corinne had always wanted to meet her.

Once again she breathed in the energy and the distinct smell of sweaty musicians, smoke and something musty that came with nearly every single stage she’d been on.

An arm rested over her shoulders and Corinne jumped, turned, and came face to face with the last person she wanted to see. Cold washed through her, leaving her weak.

“Been a while, gorgeous,” Jaxen said with a smile. “Wasn’t sure if we’d ever bump into each other again.”

Corinne shrugged him off and felt her lips tremble with nerves. She needed out. Now. “Yeah.”

She scanned the small crowd for Chris.

Jaxen bent forward to put his face level with hers, and Jonah’s features echoed so exactly. Holy shit this is not what she wanted. This was the opposite of what she wanted.

Six years had done very little to age Jaxen. His big smile, inked arms and dark hair hit her in the exact places they always did. How was that even possible? Was her body so wholly programmed that some hot guy sent all reason running for the hills?

“So what are you doing with yourself? How did you end up here with all the riffraff,” he teased. His voice was smooth. Way too smooth. Everything in her was quaking apart. He shouldn’t have this power over her, but the feeling of humiliation and loss and hurt spun through her, but now it was tainted with fear. Fear of him wanting any piece of Jonah.

She looked for Chris again, desperate for his face. For some understanding.

“Still writing songs,” she said. “But I really need to go.”

Forcing her legs to move, she walked quickly across the room and for the door. She didn’t care about waiting for Chris or anything but getting out. Away. She’d walk...somewhere.

“Corinne!” Jaxen called, but she moved faster.

His hand was on her arm the second the door came open.

“What do you want from me?” she asked her voice quivering. Her stomach folded in over her weak voice. He’d see right through her nerves.

His brows went up, but the near perpetual half smile was still on his face. “Why is this such a big thing? Why are you running away from me?”

She closed her eyes briefly. “I’m not…”

He tugged her closer, the same cologne flooding her mind with memories. Memories of being together. Happy. Playing by his pool. Late nights at concerts like the one she was at… Elation and fear over the pregnancy. Utter and total rejection. Betrayal as he moved forward with her songs. Another round of humiliation as every magazine said what she already knew—she wasn’t good enough. She was stupid. Not pretty enough. Not talented enough. And then the lies. Using Jaxen. Money-grubbing. Horrible woman…

“I know you
, Corinne.” His liquid voice reminded her of all the reasons she was taken with him in the beginning.

“I know.” She forced herself to relax. “I’m here with someone, and I’m—”

“I saw you with Christian.” His face was flat but his eyes curious.

“Just down for the weekend.” She swallowed, her legs weakening. Hating that one person could do this to her. “Writing songs.”

He wagged his brows, and she still fought for a real breath. “I remember what that was like with you.”

Was she just hopeless where men like them were concerned? She’d been so stupid.
Cold fear etched through her body, swirling through the nerves residing in her stomach.

“I’ve been wanting to call…” he trailed off. “I want… I’d like to meet my son.”

“No!” She stepped back, the fear now washing through her in full force—enough for her vision to blur and the room to tilt. “You lost that when you left me. No.”

Corinne turned and walked into the dark. Damn these shoes. She wanted to run.

“It’s not like that, Cori!”

His name for her. The “e” sound at the end didn’t even work with Corinne, but once he’d started, he’d just kept it up, and
there was something about having a name that only one person used that made her feel special. Pathetic.

She
slowly turned. “You threw me away! You threw
him
away. It’s done, Jax.”

The back door opened again and Chris called her name before almost running in to Jaxen. She watched as some kind of
bizarre understanding passed between the two men. No, this was not what she wanted. Corinne turned away and continued walking across the dark parking lot.

Chris ran her way and rested an arm around her.

“I need out. I need home.” She barely recognized her voice as it shook.

Chris led her to the left. To his car. “Let’s go.”

“I’ll be in touch Cori!” Jaxen called before going back inside.

Corinne stumbled. All she had to do was stay off Jaxen’s radar. That’s it. He wouldn’t have thought to seek out Jonah on his own, but she’d been stupid enough to come here and now… Now… Who knew what would come of this one, stup
id meeting. Home. She had to get back home. She wanted her warm walls around her, and her long driveway between her and the road that was miles from civilization. Craved it. Needed the shelter she’d made.

“Hey… You okay?” Chris asked, squeezing her to him.

She jerked away from him, limbs shaking. Everything in her shook. “No. I’m so very far from okay. I need Jonah. Take me back or get me a cab, or…”

“I got you.” Chris tugged her arms and she fell into him, letting the warmth of his body help lessen the quaking that wracked her body. “I got you. We’re fine. I promise.”

Chris had no idea.

Corinne had been silent back to Chris’ house. Her knees curled to her chest. Her arms clutched her legs protectively. He wanted to understand, but he knew there was no real way to put himself in her position.

His stomach tied itself in knots as they drove. Each minute of silence winding the knots more tightly.

The second they were back in his garage, Corinne sprinted into the house. Chris balled his hands into fists as he watched her go. Why had he insisted she go
with him? Why had he walked away from her? Why hadn’t he run over to the stadium, done his one song, and come back? Now the exact thing she didn’t want… The simple truth was that he’d wanted her there for him. Chris pushed through the garage door into the house, dragging his feet.

Max
stood next to the kitchen counter, annoyance all over his tight features.

“What the hell happened?” Max asked. “She ran straight for Jonah.”

Chris paused in the white living room. “We ran into Jaxen. She hasn’t… She hasn’t really spoken since then.”

“Fuck.” Max sighed. “She’ll want to go home. Don’t stop her.”

He didn’t want her to go home. He wanted to fix this. Make it better. Show her that they didn’t have to worry about Jaxen. He couldn’t do that if she was in Washington and he was stuck in California.

Chris took a few steps to his friend. “Why are you so damn protective?”

“She could have had her own career. We both know it.”

Chris nodded.

Max slumped looking defeated or
sorry
in a way that Chris had never seen. “I was younger then. I saw her as the gateway to re-launch someone who I’d been lucky enough to be a manager for simply because the older guy I worked with died of a heart attack, and I was what’s left. I should have pushed her forward on her own. But we both know that talented only sometimes equals success, and she was so young… I should have pushed
her
career, and instead I sold the idea to her that she could help someone amazing. Someone famous. And she fell for it. And I’ve known what an asshole I am since that moment.”

And Chris knew the rest of the story. She’d fallen for Jaxen, and Jaxen had left her in the worst way possible.
Max could have taken the risk and made Corinne famous, but used her for Jaxen instead. Max had probably not only helped her get out of LA, but also helped her find work writing songs since then—trying to make up for how thoroughly he’d screwed her in the beginning.

Chris watched Max for a moment longer and then walked to the hallway and Jonah’s room.

She stood half in Jonah’s room and half out. He noticed her like he always did. The muscles in her legs, the curve of her back… But in that moment, he wanted to hold her. To take away all the hurt and fear she had. But he wasn’t sure if he was equipped to do that. If he knew how. Or maybe this was like his addiction counseling. Maybe this was something that came down to her. That she had to do. He didn’t know. How did people know how to get along? Know what to do for each other? Did it just come, or did you have to work at it? He was willing to work. He’d do anything. But with the defeat that seemed to rest like weights on her shoulders, he wasn’t sure if she’d let him.

He stopped behind her, just close enough to feel her warmth and rested a hand on her shoulder.

“I can’t do this, Chris. I can’t be here.” She blinked and he watched a stream of tears continue rolling down her face. “I’m not coming back. I don’t…”

His mind went blank. His heart stopped. The knots in his stomach had swallowed him whole. “But.”