Body Chemistry (13 page)

B
renda called in to work the next day and told Chuck what had happened. After spending ten minutes calming him down she assured him that she was all right and that her house was still standing. Later that morning she and Dominic drove to the house. Thankfully, everything was not destroyed, but it was not livable. The steam and water had done its damage. She spoke to her insurance company and a restoration company came right away to assess all that needed to be done.

“Thousands of dollars worth of water damage,” Brenda said with a sigh as she and Dominic sat in his sunroom. Sergeant sat by her feet. “I won’t be able to go back for weeks.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll cover it.”

“My insurance will cover it and they’ll pay for me to stay at a hotel.”

Dominic stiffened. “Why would you want to stay in a hotel when you can stay with me?”

“I think it’s better that I don’t stay here.”

“How can it be better? You should stay here. It’s my fault your house got ruined.”

“No, it’s not your fault. You didn’t know that it hadn’t been installed correctly. I don’t want what has happened to change things between us.”

“Change what?” he demanded. Sergeant looked up at him worried.

“How things are working. This relationship has been great, but I think we should take it slow.”

“Slow? We’ve been seeing each other for over six months. It’s time we made a decision. I want you to move in with me.”

Brenda shook her head. “I don’t want to live with you.”

“Then marry me instead.”

She sat there blank. “What?” she choked.

“Marry me.”

Brenda lowered her head. At last she’d heard the question she’d wanted to hear, but her response surprised them both. “I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because you deserve better.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m too ambitious. I want a name of my own and with you that’s impossible. It’s petty, it’s wrong and I’m ashamed to say it but I don’t want to be in your shadow again.”

He stared at her, perplexed. “I don’t understand.”

“You’re not supposed to because it’s not your fault. You deserve a wife who will bask in the spotlight of being Mrs. Ayers. I never carried the title well.”

“Thomas told me once that you were jealous of me and I didn’t believe him.”

“He was right. At that time I was jealous. Okay, I am still a little jealous, and it’s an awful thing to admit.” She looked at her hands because she couldn’t look at him.

“Not really,” he said, forcing her to look up in surprise. “I’ve been jealous of you. You were doing research and taking the time to really make a difference. While I did fluff, by making films and lots of money. I haven’t been in a laboratory in years. I always admired your commitment to solving whatever problem you set out to.”

“I haven’t solved anything yet.”

“But you will. My name may be famous now but one day your name will go down in history.” He sighed. “I know I’ve been blind to a lot of things, and I know it’s hard being connected to me. If I could change it I would, but I can’t. But I promise you this, in our home only
we
will matter. You won’t have to fight for my attention; you won’t have to fight for my time. It will be yours.” He gathered her hands in his and searched her eyes. “I want you back. Not as my lover or my girlfriend but as my wife. And I won’t accept anything less.” He let her go and stood. “I know it’s a lot to think about so I’ll give you time, but I won’t have you staying in a hotel. I have a guesthouse. You can stay there for as long as you need. In a week I’ll ask you my question again. Your answer will determine whether I stay in your life or not.” He left. Sergeant sent her a canine look of pity, then followed his owner.

Five days later Brenda sat alone in the guesthouse wondering how her life had come to this. A home that was presently uninhabitable, a man she loved but couldn’t live with, and a life that suddenly seemed small. Nearly a year ago she had cared only about her project. Her entire existence depended on its success, but it no longer had that hold on her.

Months before, she’d been determined to find her Ideal Man, now she had found him only to discover that
she
was the problem, not him. She didn’t deserve all that he’d given her or the support of the club. She opened her wallet and looked at the membership card. She’d failed them. They’d done everything to help her and she had ruined everything.

She searched through her papers, found Rania’s number and called her.

Rania picked up on the third ring. “Hello?”

“Hello, this is Brenda.”

“Hi, Brenda, how are things?”

“I want to withdraw my membership from the Society.”

Rania was quiet a moment, then said, “Why?”

“Because I don’t have what it takes. I should be happy with my life, but I’m not. I have fantastic clothes, I learned how to cook, I’m back to illustrating and doing what I love, my project got the funds it needed, and the man I love asked me to marry him, but I can’t marry him. I don’t want to be a member anymore. This Society thing is wasted on me. Please write to whomever needs to be notified and remove all my privileges.”

Rania laughed. “It doesn’t work that way.”

“What do you mean? Marci told me she could get my privileges revoked.”

“Marci was exaggerating, but that’s not the problem. The problem is that you really don’t know what marriage is all about. You’re used to being center stage. You grew up as the only girl in a family of boys, you were always the smartest in the class. You haven’t learned how to be with others without trying to compete. Marriage is about equals.”

“That’s the problem. We’re not equals. Dominic was always better than me. I tried being a freelance illustrator and failed. He tried filmmaking and succeeded. I tried teaching and failed. He tried teaching and made an industry out of it. How can I compete with that?”

“Why do you need to?”

“Because I want to be noticed too. I need to be. I can’t spend my life as just his helpmate. That’s all my mother was. I’m not saying that there’s anything wrong with being a wife and mother. They’re important roles and she was happy. She
is
happy. But I don’t want that for myself. I want more. I want to make a difference.”

“You do make a difference every day. You’ve spent your life comparing yourself to Dominic so much you don’t realize the lives you’ve touched. Not all of us are meant to be known around the world, see our names in papers and be heard on the radio. Dominic is like a tree. You’re like a flower. Both have their place is this world and can live in harmony. Once you accept that your role is not as his shadow, but as his source, happiness will be yours.”

“His source? His source of what?”

“Brenda, no matter how strong someone is, all anyone ever needs is to be loved.”

Brenda thought about Rania’s words as she worked late in her office. Tonight he expected an answer. She loved Dominic, but could she love him the way he needed her to? She had to go home and find out. She was about to shut off her computer when Franklin ran into her room.

“You have to help me,” he said, terror filling his voice. “You have to make him understand. He trusts you and listens to you. Tell him I didn’t mean to do it, it just happened that way.”

“What are you talking about? Tell whom what?”

He searched frantically around the room. “Please, Brenda, help me hide.”

“But I don’t understand.”

Seconds later Kendell burst into her office holding a knife.

H
e looked awful, as though he hadn’t slept in days. His expensive shoes were cuffed and the hole on his jacket sleeve had grown larger.

Brenda stared at him. “What is going on?”

“Get out of the way, Brenda,” Kendell said. “This has nothing to do with you.”

“Kendell, put down the knife.”

He pointed it at Franklin. “I will after it has his blood on it.”

“You don’t understand,” Franklin said, desperate. “I had to do it.”

“You had to steal my ideas? You had to publish three of my papers as your own? You had to take my book proposal and submit it under your name? You
really
had to do all that?”

“Look, they wanted an expert on the subject. I thought I was doing you a favor. I was going to hire you as a ghost writer and split the profits.”

Kendell slowly approached him with the knife held out.

Franklin hid behind Brenda. “Do something! Talk to him.”

“There’s nothing she can say. You stole my work. I’ve slaved for months. You know my wife is divorcing me? She said that I spend too much time working. She doesn’t get how important it is to me, but you do.”

Brenda slapped Franklin’s hand away when he clutched her arm. “Kendell, he’s not worth it.”

“I may lose my job,” he said miserably. “My performance reviews aren’t the greatest and I haven’t published enough.”

“I can make sure that doesn’t happen,” she assured him.

“I’ve given everything to this school and this is how I’m repaid.”

“Your life is not over. You have a lot to live for. You can save your marriage and your career, but you can’t do that from prison.” She held out her hand. “Give me the knife.”

“You’re right,” he said with an eerie resignation. “I wouldn’t want to go to prison. It just doesn’t seem that life is worth living.” He turned the knife to himself.

“Oh no, you don’t,” Brenda said, knowing she couldn’t face another suicide. She picked up a book and threw it at him as she would throw a football to one of her brothers. The book hit him on the side of the head, knocking him down. She grabbed his knife, then checked his injury as he lay on the ground dazed.

“Good aim,” Franklin said.

“Shut up.” She touched Kendell’s forehead, then helped him sit up. “You’ll be all right.”

“He stole everything from me,” he said in a broken whisper.

“We’ll make sure he doesn’t get away with it. I’ll help you.”

“You mean you believe me? He said no one would.”

“He says a lot of things that aren’t true.” She helped him stand. “Go home and promise me you won’t do anything stupid.”

“I promise.”

Brenda watched him leave, then turned to Franklin, who was adjusting his tie as though he’d just suffered an inconvenience instead of an attack on his life. “I should press charges,” he said.

Brenda picked up the knife and looked at it. “I can understand why he would want to kill you.”

Franklin looked at her as though she bored him. “Is that some sort of threat?”

“No, I could never stab you.” She touched the tip of the knife. “But I remember how angry I was when I discovered you stole my work.”

His eyes widened. “You knew?”

“Of course I knew.”

“But you never said anything.”

“No, but I’m going to say something now. I want you to admit your plagiarism and resign.”

He laughed. “I’ll do no such thing.”

“Yes, you will.” Brenda picked up the phone. He rushed over and stopped her.

“Who are you calling?”

“Why do you care?”

“Do you want money? I can give it to you.”

“I want you to resign. Now.”

“Where would I go? I’m established here. You can’t do this to me.” He straightened. “I bet you’re just bluffing. You’ll probably call Dominic, but he can’t do anything to me. If he lays a hand on me, I’ll sue. Besides he’s gotten his revenge.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I don’t know how the bastard did it, but no other university will hire me. Why the hell do you think I’ve been stuck here all these years?”

“How do you know it was him?”

“We had a chat one day about you. I won’t bore you with the details, but he explained a few things to me. I thought he was upset because I broke your heart.” Franklin clenched his hands. “I’m meant for great things and he stopped me, but I’ve managed to get around his childish sabotage. And you see how I’ve succeeded.”

“Yes, I see,” she said quietly. She lifted the phone. “I’m not calling Dominic. I have my own connections.”

He yanked it from her. “What the hell is this really about? So I put my name on two of your papers, so what? I made them better. I got them seen and I would have taken you places if you’d stayed with me.”

She sent him a cold stare. “Resign.”

He stared back with contempt. “Never, and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

Brenda sat behind her desk and clasped her hands together as though ready to give a lecture. “I reviewed all of Kendell’s papers and have the rough drafts with my comments.” She pulled out a thick file and waved it at him. “Think of how it will look if I make them available so they can be compared to your published articles?” She held his stare. “I also have my old papers. What do you say to that?”

Franklin took one step forward, fury in his eyes, then stopped as the reality of his defeat faced him. His shoulders fell and he walked away.

Brenda rested her head in her hands trying to process all that had happened. She’d thought seeing Franklin lose everything would make her feel more triumphant, but a part of her felt sorry for him. His career and reputation was everything and now it was gone.

Brenda stood. Fortunately that wasn’t how her life would be. She packed her things and left the office. When she went outside, she saw Kendell standing by her car. “I thought I told you to go home,” she said.

“I wanted to thank you. I was blinded by rage and obsessed about all that he’d stolen. I’d really lost it.”

“Things will work out.” She gave him a hug.

Suddenly, he stiffened and she felt something was wrong, even before she jerked back and turned. Kendell’s wife stood there, her soft dark curls surrounding a face filled with horror.

“I knew it wasn’t just work,” she cried. “Our marriage is over.” She spun away.

Kendell started to run after her, but Brenda grabbed his arm and shouted at the woman, “Come back here. Now,” in her most authoritative voice. The young woman stopped and slowly turned.

“Come on,” Brenda said impatiently.

The woman walked toward them, then stopped a few feet away.

“I am flattered,” Brenda said. “But there’s nothing, absolutely nothing going on between us. The fact that you would think so is sad.”

“Sad?” she said with a sour twist of her lips. She pointed to Kendell. “He’s always here and he’s always telling me how great you are. And all the things you’re helping him with.” Tears gathered in her eyes. “He talks as though this is his life.”

“This is my life,” Kendell said. “I want to be a great professor. I want to see my name in trade journals. You knew that when we got married.”

“But what about me? I can’t compete with this.” She gestured to the expansive building and grounds.

“But I’m doing this for you.”

“I don’t want you to.”

Brenda moved forward and took his wife’s hand, sensing her pain. “I know how you feel. Years ago I divorced my husband for the same reason. I couldn’t compete with his dream, but I never told him what I needed from him. I never gave him the chance to change. You’re both making mistakes at this moment, but that can be fixed. Tell him exactly what you want. Don’t make him guess.”

His wife looked at him. “I want you to be home so we can eat dinner together. Do things on the weekend. I just want to be with you and talk about other things and not just about your work. Can you understand that?”

Brenda turned to him. “And what do you want from her?”

“I want her to listen—”

Brenda shook her head and forced him to face his wife. “Talk to her.”

He took a deep breath. “I want you to listen to me when I talk about my career and not to pretend. I want you to understand
how
important this is to me.”

Brenda nodded, pleased, and folded her arms. “Okay, now that you know what you both want, how can you fix it?”

Kendell sighed. “I won’t schedule late classes anymore and I’ll leave one day a month just for us. We can go on a date.”

His wife nodded. “And I won’t bother you about the time it takes you to grade papers or your late nights, but I want to select where we’ll go on our dates.” She tenderly touched his cheek. He wiped her tears.

Brenda rested her hands on her hips. “You love each other but you can’t expect everything to be perfect. You have to work at it and the moment it becomes a competition, where one of you has to win, instead of a compromise where you work together, your marriage will end.” She shook her head in regret. “I know.”

“Thank you,” Kendell said, putting his arm around his wife’s shoulders.

She smiled at Brenda. “I can see why Kendell talks about you. You are wonderful. Thank you for everything.”

“You’re welcome.”

Brenda watched them go, wishing someone had been around when her own marriage had hit a rough patch. But she was older and wiser now and had a second chance. She finally realized the one thing she’d never told Dominic throughout their marriage. She’d said
I love you, I want you, I need you,
but never the three words she now knew he needed to hear. She would have to tell him now. She would let him know he was the only man for her and that she didn’t have to look any further.

With her heart bursting to tell him how she felt, Brenda pulled out her cell phone and dialed Dominic’s number. Unfortunately, she couldn’t reach him on his cell phone or at his office. She returned to the guesthouse, put her things down, then ran to the main house. Natalie came out the door just as she was about to knock.

“Brenda,” Natalie said, surprised.

“Yes,” she stammered, just as surprised to see her. “I wanted to talk to Dominic.”

“He’s not here. He’s at the premier showing of his film on global pollution. You know, The Monahan Awards. But when he got there, I saw the horrendous tie he was wearing and begged him to give me his keys so I could get him another one.”

He had mentioned his award. He was guest of honor. She had forgotten about it because all his awards hadn’t meant anything to her. She bit her lip, feeling awful. “Can I take it to him?”

Natalie smiled. “I’ll help you dress.”

Brenda thought about the gown in her metal box. “I know exactly what to wear.”

Tonight he would get his answer,
Dominic thought. He stood behind the black curtain with his yo-yo, unconcerned with what would happen in front of it. All he cared about was getting Brenda’s answer. After his speech, he’d shake some hands and smile at a few faces, then go to the guesthouse and find out what his future held.

He glanced at his watch; he’d have to go on soon. Where was Natalie? She only needed to grab a tie. He had hundreds. Suddenly, in the darkness backstage he saw a silvery skirt come into view. He didn’t remember Natalie wearing a skirt, but he hadn’t been paying much attention. “Thanks, Natalie,” he said, winding up his yo-yo.

“Want me to tie it for you?”

He stopped. That wasn’t Natalie’s voice. Dominic glanced up and stared at Brenda, astonished. She looked ravishing in a floor-length silver ball gown, with her hair piled high, wearing a pair of semi-precious stone hoop earrings and a pair of silver high heels.

“What are you doing here?” he said in a hoarse voice.

She draped the tie around his neck. “Fixing your tie.”

He shook his head. “That’s not what I mean.”

“I’m here because I should be.”

He frowned, not understanding her.

She kissed him. “Do you want your answer now or later?”

His heart began to race. “Brenda. I—”

The announcer’s booming voice cut through his. “It is our privilege to honor the renowned Dr. Dominic Ayers this evening…”

Neither of them heard the rest of the introduction as they stared at each other. Dominic looked at her wanting to hear the word he’d been waiting a week for.

Brenda quickly hugged him then said, “Go out there and accept your award. I’m proud of you and it will be an honor to be your wife.” She smiled. “Again.”

He kissed her as though his heart would break if he let her go. She kissed him back with just as much passion, then pulled away. “You have to go.”

“I love you,” he said in a rush. “It’s always been you. You stole my heart years ago and never gave it back. I’ll make you happy and I’ll make you proud. And I’ll—”

She placed a finger against his lips. “You don’t have to do anything. I love you just as you are.” She pushed him toward the curtain. “Now go.”

He sent her one last look before disappearing in front of the curtain to the thunderous sound of applause.