Body of Water (3 page)

"I'm not really into sport. I'd rather draw."

"Me too!" She bounced from her bed and pulled out a large flat leather case. "This is my portfolio. Do you want to see it?" Before I could answer she was struggling with the zip in her eagerness to get it open.

Landscapes, fashion illustrations, and cartoons, all executed with exquisite attention to detail, spilled onto the floor.

I flicked through them, surprised. "You did all this?"

"Takes me ages. Mummy says I must get faster if I'm ever going to make a living at it. Lawrence thinks I could be the next Coco Chanel but I think he's just trying to curry favour with her."

Just as her mother had disappeared so did Beth, although I heard her pummelling the stairs as she rushed downwards. I'd heard nothing, and wasn't sure whether or not I was supposed to follow her, but her chatter soon began and became louder as she made her way back to her room.

"-and his name's Leven but it's a nick name but I don't know what that means and he likes his gift and he's met Mummy and lived and he loves my portfolio but I think he secretly thinks I traced some of it but he seems really, really nice!"

Behind her she dragged a boy bruised, grazed, and covered in mud.

But, despite that, he was unmistakably Shaun.

As soon as Beth said my name he must have known it was me but his attitude was as cold as his mother's. He barely acknowledged me at all as he spoke to his sister. "I'm guessing she's too pissed to have cooked. I'll grab a shower and make us something to eat. Put the kettle on, sis."

He stopped at her door and addressed me over his shoulder. "You staying?"

His obvious discomfort helped me decide. "I'd better get home."

"Suit yourself."

"No," Bethany wailed. "You've only just got here. Stay a bit longer."

Her pleading was so endearing I couldn't bear to disappoint her, even if it meant eating here in her room, away from him. "Well, if you don't mind."

Shaun grunted and left the room. The sound of running water soon followed.

Downstairs in the kitchen, I helped make three mugs of tea.

"No sugar for Shaun," she said, stopping my hand. "He's in training so he's only on good carbs and plenty of protein."

She seemed much older than fourteen.

Shaun reappeared, looking cleaner if no less battered, and started pulling ingredients out of the fridge. I watched him cook while Beth made small talk. Her brother responded in all the right places but with little emotion and I had no doubt that he was deeply perturbed by my presence.

Within minutes the most wonderful smell filled the kitchen, conveyed by the heat ascending from a wok.

I didn't speak until we were sitting around one end of a long dining table. "How are you settling in?"

His eyes didn't leave his plate. "This is the first time I've been home since we moved here."

"Oh right. Beth said you'd gone to a boarding school."

Beth interrupted. "How long have you been here, Leven?"

"I've lived here since I was nine."

Beth's mouth fell open. "Really? Shaun was five when we first moved to London for Daddy's job. Mummy was due to have me the day we moved. The doctor said that she was mad and that she mustn't want the baby if she was prepared to move house in her condition."

"I'm sure she wanted you," I said. I'd take Beth home myself if I could.

"I do wonder sometimes, the way she talks to me. Well, us. Do you mind not being wanted by your real mummy and daddy?" She suddenly burst into tears and I realised Shaun had kicked her under the table. She ran out of the room, leaving us alone.

He pushed his plate away. "Sorry. She's an idiot."

"She's just a kid." I kicked myself away from the table. "I'll go and check on her."

"She'll be fine. I've hit her harder than that before."

"She's your sister."

"She's a pain in the arse."

Not satisfied by his response, I found her in the small courtyard behind the house, crying quietly to herself as she rubbed her leg.

"I'm really sorry," she stammered. "I didn't mean to upset you."

I put my arm around her and patted her hair. She fell against me, sobbing freely now. "It's all right. I don't mind talking about it."

Shaun appeared bearing a bowl of ice cream and a bag of frozen peas.

Without speaking he handed her the bowl, crouched in front of her and applied the bag to her leg. She ate her ice cream with such a forlorn expression that I chuckled.

Red-eyed, she gazed up at me. "Is it very horrible, being adopted?"

"I'm fostered. I'm a bit too old for adoption now. It was horrible at first, being sent to live with all these strangers. I always felt like I had to do tricks to be accepted."

"Why have you been with more than one family?"

"I kept getting sent back."

"Why?"

"Beth," warned Shaun. "You're being very rude."

She offered me her ice cream as an apology but Shaun took the bowl and stood up.

"Who's still hungry?" He headed back into the kitchen and I helped Beth follow him.

Rummaging in the fridge, he pulled out more food. "I have to keep my food intake up while I'm training," he said, eager to explain that he wasn't just being greedy.

"Leven's not sporty," piped up Beth. "He prefers to draw, like me."

He tore off some cooked chicken and chewed it thoughtfully. "How about a swim?"

I went cold. "I've never been allowed to go near the water."

"Why not?"

"It's complicated."

"I could teach you."

"I don't even have a pair of trunks."

"I have a new pair you can have. Still got the tags on. Why not give it a go?"

Now he wanted me to stay? I asked myself why I was coming up with reasons not to. All I wanted to do was get some answers; ask him why he'd kissed me that night, and find out why he'd left. It was clear that he wasn't going to acknowledge that we already knew each other in front of his sister so I played along.

"Sure, why not? How far away is the pool from here?"

He grinned. "About twenty feet straight down. It's in the basement." It was his first smile since he arrived home.

I'd expected plans to be made for later, not right now.

Beth groaned as her mother appeared looking no less testy but infinitely more sober. "Darling," the woman made it sound like an insult. "Come along. We have to go to your tiresome friend's equally tiresome mother's... thing."

"Ugh," Beth said, and then mother and daughter were gone to get Beth ready.

Shaun led me to his room, keeping the conversation light. I didn't know what to expect his bedroom to look like but I certainly didn't expect one wall of stacked firewood and furniture made from reclaimed materials.

"Do you like it?" He studied the room carefully.

"It's like a lodge."

"Is that good?" His uncertainty reassured me somehow. This was probably the first time he'd been in this room, his room, and he was nervous about my reaction to it. In a way, I felt like we were now on equal footing.

"Shaun, why did-"

"Later, okay? When we're alone."

"But-"

"Please?" He crossed the space between us and held the back of my head, holding his forehead against mine. "It's complicated."

I wanted to put my arms around him and kiss him but I knew he wouldn't want that, at least not right now, so I nodded and he set about finding me some trunks. He tossed them to me and I waited for him to leave, or at least turn his back but he stood, expectant.

Oh no. I wasn't ready for this. "Aren't you going to get changed too?"

"My costume is already on, see?" He pulled up his t-shirt and hiked down his shorts to demonstrate, revealing a solid torso as well as a band of brightly coloured fabric.

I decided that I'd probably changed in front of him before in a physical education class so I pulled off my jeans and underwear. Leaving my t-shirt on made me feel less naked.

He whistled. "Your girlfriend must be very happy."

I pulled on the trunks quickly, my face hot with embarrassment. "I don't have a girlfriend."

He took a step towards me. "Boyfriend?"

I shook my head and fell quiet as he reached out and pulled the waistband of my trunks out towards him then slid his hand down the front. What the hell was he doing? Talking was out of bounds but this was okay?

"You left the tag on," he smirked, snapping the plastic that tethered it to the fabric and threw it over his shoulder. "Ready?"

Two flights of stairs later and we were in the basement. The pool was larger than I had expected. Shaun switched on the lights and then dimmed them until the illuminated pool was brighter than the room itself.

Shaun yanked off his t-shirt and shorts and tossed them onto a wooden recliner.

"This is the shallow end, if you want to get in."

I took off my shirt and sat on the edge of the pool where he had indicated.

At the deep end he took up position and prepared to dive in.

I watched how his muscles moved across his ribcage as his arms extended upwards, how his legs flexed when he crouched, ready for his spring, then the perfect line of his body as he took off, arched forwards, and dove cleanly into the water.

I had expected Shaun to be clumsy in the water. I didn't know much about rugby but I knew what a typical player looked like, lumbering down the pitch like a juggernaut.

Shaun swam the length of the pool towards me and surfaced a few feet away, resting his weight on his arms in the shallow water. His shoulders bulged and I felt the familiar heat burn in my chest and work its way down.

"Get in then," he smiled, getting to his feet and holding out his hands.

The water cascaded down Shaun's body, and I felt my stomach twist with anxiety as I stood, desperate that he didn't notice what the heat had done to me. Suddenly unsteady, I waded into the water. It was warm and I was thankful for that.

To my relief something else had caught his eye. "What's that?" He nodded to my pendant.

My hand rose to my chest. "Ruth gave it to me."

"It looks like an arrowhead. What is it, flint?"

"Something like that. It's a sign of protection. Some local custom where's she's from." Since my adoption I had rid myself of my Scottish accent and felt no need to bring any attention to my ancestry. School was all about fitting in.

Shaun waited patiently. He smiled as I moved towards him, not moving backwards into the deeper water until our hands met. He held onto me, his fingers intertwined with mine.

His instructions were gentle. "Relax your neck. Open out your shoulders. Breathe."

But my grip on him tightened. This was a big thing. As far as I could remember I had never been this close to this much water, let alone in it. My experience with the wet stuff extended only as far as baths and showers.

Shaun continued to encourage me. "Do you want to try putting your face in? That's good. Next time try breathing out under the water."

As I breathed out water rushed in and I took an involuntary breath. I came up fast, coughing hard.

"Sorry, sorry. Let's just stand here for a bit while you calm down. Christ, that pump is working overtime."

He was right; there was a definite current in the water around us.

I pinched my nose and concentrated on my breathing.

"Do you want to try floating? It's much easier than you think."

His hand on my back, Shaun coaxed me off my feet and into his arms. I felt vulnerable then. This was more intimate than I thought it would be, alone with this stocky boy in the water.

"Now I want you to straighten out your body. Relax your neck again and let the water support your head. Don't worry, I've got you."

The sound cut in and out as the water lapped at my ears. Shaun's chest pressed against my side as I straightened out, his hands moving to support me between my shoulder blades and lower back.

"Relax, Leven. The water is your friend."

I floated on the surface and closed my eyes. A feeling of warmth and relaxation ballooned within me.

"Are you crying?"

My eyes snapped open and I felt hot tears streak down from the corners. I struggled to cover my face from embarrassment, but lashed out. Shaun cried out and let me go, clutching his face.

"Bloody hell!"

I disappeared below the water; my lungs filling with fluid. Coughing wildly didn't help; I was drowning. I bucked and kicked out, hoping to feel tile beneath me. I felt the current again, stronger this time. I was going to die in this pool, just as Ruth had always feared.

Then I felt hands under my arms and a sharp yank upwards. The cooler air meant that I was above water now, but I still coughed and gasped for air.

Shaun hauled me up to the steps at the shallow end and collapsed into a heap beside me, holding his face.

"What's wrong with you? You poked me in the bloody eye!"

"I'm sorry, OK?" I shouted, angry with embarrassment. "I freaked out."

"You're a nutter."

We sat on the steps, both breathing hard. I reached out to him. "Let me have a look."

He batted my hand away but I tried again, prising his hand from his face. His eye was pink and streaming, but I didn't see any damage.

"You'll live."

Shaun looked back at me, one eye open. "Until the day you drag me under."

"I told you I couldn't swim."

Beth stuck her head around the door, looking miserable. "We're off now. Play nicely, you two. Oh, and Shaun, remember that I found Leven first, okay? He's my friend."

He made a rude gesture in her direction then she was gone again.

"Shaun, can we talk-"

He stood up and reached out to me. "Come on. Let's try again."

I felt like I had no option but to accept that he wasn't ready to engage just yet. For now he was content with teaching me. I took his hands and prayed that I'd keep my cool as he walked slowly backwards so I only had to kick my legs.

Determined to impress him, I put all of my concentration into his instructions, putting my head in the water a few times to get the feel for it and practicing holding my breath with my face submerged.