“Where I lived,” Bella corrected. “I let the apartment go the first of January, and I had my stuff moved into storage, not that there was much worth moving. The phone’s been remote wiped and deactivated.”
“Make sure he can’t find you on social media.” Leave it to Izzy to think of things like that.
“Good idea.”
“What about Cedric? Where does he fit into all this?”
“I don’t know. I really don’t. He’d been pressuring me for an exclusive relationship before the attack, but I resisted limiting myself to just one guy. Now I don’t want a guy at all. I know that’s not fair to him, and I feel like I’m using him, even if he doesn’t see it that way. I’ve been trying to earn my keep. I redecorated, and I’ve been cooking meals when he’s here.”
Izzy’s eyebrows shot up, but she made no comments on the décor.
“We have a room over the garage. It’s not much, but it has a separate entrance, a full bath, and a tiny kitchen.”
Bella laughed. “As long as it has a microwave.”
“Think about it.”
“Let me talk to Ced. I’m sure he’ll be glad to have me out from underfoot, especially when he sees our new roommate.” Bella patted Rumble’s head and received a growl in response.
“Not a fan of dogs, is he?”
“I don’t think he’s an animal person.”
Izzy shook her head. “What kind of person is he? He’s an enigma to me, yet he’s Cooper’s best friend, so that fact alone says something.”
“We’ve never spent much time talking—mostly we fucked like bunnies. Now when he’s home, he watches sports, and I read or go online.” Or wrote. Lately Bella had been typing away on her laptop, a random story that had stuck in her head. She’d always written, even as a child though it’d been her secret garden and something she’d never shared with her sisters.
Izzy rolled her eyes. “I need your help next week with a party. It’s a relatively safe one at the Emerald Ballroom, a wedding reception for an older gay couple.”
“I’m not sure I’m ready for that yet.”
“I’ll accept that. I’m not a shrink, and I won’t pretend to be, but Cooper and I have worked with one regarding Riley, and I believe that the sooner life returns to a new normal, the better, once you’ve given yourself time to recover from the trauma.”
Riley had essentially shown up on Cooper’s doorstep over a year ago. The son of Cooper’s older sister, Riley had been abandoned by his drug-addict mother and had turned to Cooper for help. Izzy and Coop had since adopted him. He’d been witness to a school shooting last fall and watched several friends shot down in front of his eyes. Bella almost felt ashamed at how far Riley had come and how much he’d fought to regain normalcy. The two shooters had been teammates of his, and they’d targeted other teammates and popular kids for reasons no one would ever know.
“Bells, Riley’s mental health therapist is very good. She specializes in recovery from traumatic events. Why don’t I see if she can fit you in her schedule?”
“I’ll think about it,” Bella conceded. She did not want to see a therapist. It was another sign of weakness, and she’d pull through on her own, damn it.
Izzy frowned, skepticism written all over her face. “If you want her number—”
“I’ll ask you.”
Izzy rose. “I have to get back. Riley should be home any minute. He went to a friend’s house to study.”
“Would that friend happen to be Tiff?” Everyone knew Riley had a huge crush on Tiffany, a cute girl in his class who was also recovering from the trauma of the shooting and not doing nearly as well as Riley. In one of those small-world cases, Tiffany boarded her horse and took lessons out of the same barn as their sister Avery.
“No, not yet. They’re as bad as you and Cedric when it comes to denying the attraction when everyone knows they’ll end up together. It’s only a matter of time.”
“Is that what you think about Cedric and me?”
Izzy snorted. “Absolutely. You two are fated to be together.”
Fated
? Bella wouldn’t go that far. She turned away, hiding her face from her sister. When it came to Cedric, her feelings were jumbled and confusing. She didn’t have a clue what she wanted from him other than a shelter from a storm. In fact, since she’d known him, she’d run to him whenever she needed not just hot sex but a shelter from her life’s storms, even though she hadn’t recognized her weakness until now.
She’d always considered herself the strong sister, but now she realized it’d been smoke and mirrors. In reality, she was the weakest link of the four females. She’d faked it so well even her sisters hadn’t seen what a fraud she was—nor had Bella.
Everything Bella believed about herself became a lie the night of the attack.
Relieved to be back from the road trip, Cedric fully expected to settle into a weird, dysfunctional routine with Bella.
He wasn’t home more than a few hours when she dumped a bombshell on him. The dog and she were moving out. Maybe he’d been too much of a dick about the dog, but he didn’t think that was it. After all, he’d been willing to tolerate the animal, her cooking, and her atrocious redecorating. What else did she want from him? He still couldn’t believe she was leaving, and he had every intention of talking her out of it after giving her a day to reconsider.
After morning skate, Cedric stepped into the condo elevator ready for battle. He’d beg, plead, cajole, and insist Bella and her grumbling dog—Rebel, Rabble, Rover, whatever his name was—stay put in his condo.
A guy carrying boxes stacked to his chin stuck his foot in the door to stop it from closing.
Cedric did a double take. “What the fuck? Did Emma finally get some brains and kick your sorry ass out of the house?”
The guy peeked at him over the top of the boxes as if Cedric had lost his mind. Cedric frowned and narrowed his eyes, studying the guy. There were subtle differences.
“Oh, shit, I thought you were someone else.” When they said every person had a double, they were talking about this guy. He was an almost dead ringer for Tanner Wolfe.
The guy shrugged. “I get that a lot.” He set the boxes down in the elevator.
Cedric held out his hand. “Cedric Pedersen.”
The guy shook his hand. He had a good handshake. “Zeke,” he said, not offering any additional information.
Zeke didn’t press a button on the elevator, which meant he was getting out on the top floor like Cedric. There were only a few condos up there, and Cedric knew his neighbors. Mrs. Winger, who made the best chocolate butterscotch cookies known to man. Marcus, an interior designer who was as much of a manslut as Cedric, except Marcus batted for the home team. And Fernando, the starting shortstop for the Seattle Skookums baseball team.
Cedric narrowed his eyes and studied Zeke even closer. He was younger than Cedric, fresh-faced, yet with blue eyes that had seen too much, and a wariness about him indicating he didn’t quite trust the world. Cedric understood that particular sentiment.
“You bunking with Fernando?” Cedric asked conversationally. Bella would want to know. Bella wanted to know everything. Along with Mrs. Winger, she was the floor busybody. Or had been unless he managed to convince her otherwise.
“Just for a few weeks.” Zeke kept his eyes averted, as if hiding something. The elevator dinged and the door opened. Zeke struggled with his boxes.
“You look like you’re staying more than a few weeks.”
“No.” Zeke shot him a look that clearly indicated
not that it’s any of your business.
Cedric hung back as Zeke walked the few short steps to the door across from Cedric’s. “So you’re a friend of Fernando’s?”
“Yeah.”
“Are you a baseball player?” The kid looked like an athlete.
Zeke’s answer was a short, tight nod. He probably thought Cedric would fan-boy him.
“I’m a forward for the Seattle Sockeyes hockey team.” Cedric supplied this info so his unfriendly neighbor would loosen up a little.
Instead of respecting their mutual athletic endeavors, Zeke closed down completely. Obviously, Zeke was not a hockey fan. Cedric shrugged and headed for his own door. This guy’s attitude was so not his problem; he had plenty of his own, namely one hot redhead and her grumpy dog.
Zeke hesitated, and Cedric frowned at him. “Something wrong?”
“That’s your condo?” Zeke indicated the door Cedric had been about to open.
“Yeah,” Cedric grouched. The kid had missed his chance. Cedric wasn’t interested in being friendly anymore. He started to put the key in the lock.
“You’re Bella’s boyfriend.”
Cedric froze; every part of his body turned cold. He turned slowly. “Do you know Bella?”
He nodded. “I’ve been going with her when she walks her dog at night. She feels safer that way.”
His Bella? The girl who was currently scared of her own shadow walked her worthless dog with this near-stranger? Was this punk the reason Bella was moving out? Hell, he bet the kid wasn’t old enough to shave or drink legally. Reining in his jealousy, Cedric reminded himself to be reasonable. He should be grateful Bella hadn’t been walking by herself after dark with only that worthless boulder of drooling dog for protection.
“Thanks for that,” he said grudgingly and turned to put his key in the door, realizing it was open.
Bella stood in the doorway, gripping the doorknob, and watching them both with curiosity. He hoped like hell she hadn’t been huddled against the door waiting for his return. He expelled a long breath of relief when he didn’t see panic in her eyes.
“I see you’ve met Zeke. You do realize who he is, don’t you?”
Cedric glanced over his shoulder as Zeke disappeared inside the neighbor’s condo. “Zeke somebody.”
Bella rolled her eyes and heaved a long-suffering sigh, as if he and all his gender were so clueless. “Zeke Wolfe.”
“Ice’s brother?”
“Yes, the one who was just traded to the Skookums. He’s in town for a few weeks.”
He raised a questioning eyebrow.
“Hey, I watch TV all day, including ESPN and local sports news, and it’s been a slow news day.”
Cedric waited, but she didn’t furnish more than that. “How about we go out for dinner?”
“How about we stay here, get something delivered, and spend the evening reconnecting.”
“You’re staying?” Hope soared inside him. No mention of moving out
and
she wanted to spend some time with him. A win-win in his book, regardless of what reconnecting actually meant.
Bella shrugged. “Just for tonight.” She gazed up at him. Their eyes met, and he felt it, that familiar zing of attraction that started in his core and spread through his entire body. He took a step closer, and she didn’t move away. Their bodies were inches apart and still he didn’t touch her, despite every cell in his body begging to feel her soft, warm flesh against his.
Her eyes grew huge and unfathomable though the fear and panic were absent. He lifted his hand and tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear and pressed his palm against her cheek. She didn’t cringe or pull away; instead she leaned into his hand.
Cedric held his breath. God, he wanted to kiss her, really kiss her, feel those soft lips moving against his, feel her tongue teasing him, hear those little noises she made. Just one kiss would tide him over.
She raised her head, and he searched her eyes for an answer. Bella put her hands on his shoulders and tilted her head, a sure invitation if he’d ever seen one. His pulse skipped like a happy kid on a playground.
Cedric looked into her eyes, deep inside, until he was lost in a green meadow on a sunny day and was hit with the oddly frightening yet comforting knowledge she was his destiny. He knew this as well as he knew how he liked his skates sharpened.
He moved closer until her sweet breath teased his lips. He tasted those inviting lips, just a small taste, but it whetted his appetite for more. She shivered, and so did he. She tasted like good memories and a better future, like a homemade fudge dribbled on ice cream, like nothing he’d ever tasted before. He slid his tongue along the crease of her lips, savoring the softness she tried so hard to conceal.
She opened to him, her tongue touching his, and inviting him inside. He pulled her body to him, cradled her hips against his, aware he’d grown hard, and hoping his erection didn’t scare her. If it did, she didn’t show it. She wrapped her arms around his neck and sucked on his tongue, which nearly sent him over the edge.
He buried his fingers in her luxurious mane of auburn hair. Their tongues danced a tango together while their lips joined not just their bodies but their souls.
God, he wanted her.
She broke the kiss first, her lips swollen from his passion, her eyes dilated, and her breathing harsh. He stared at her, trying to regain a thread of coherent thought.
“Fuck me, Cedric.” She whispered in a breathy voice those two words he’d been waiting to hear.
* * * *
Feeling heady from the kiss, Bella grabbed Cedric’s hand and led him to the bedroom. He followed behind her in a stupor, unable to respond. She almost smiled. The realization she still had that effect on this man bolstered her confidence.
Yet, it’d only been two weeks since the attack, since she’d almost been— Bella banned such thoughts from her mind before they killed the mood.
“Get naked and get on the bed,” she ordered as she turned off the lights and pulled the blinds, needing total darkness. She heard Cedric slide down the zipper on his jeans and memories slammed her in the gut almost doubling her over. Thank God Cedric couldn’t see her almost panic.
Placing a hand on the dresser to steady herself, she mechanically undressed, determined to push through her fears. Trembling, she felt her way through the darkness to his big king bed. He’d turned back the sheets, and she crawled under them, suddenly chilled to the bone.
Cedric reached for her, and she stiffened. “Fuck, Bells, you’re ice-cold.”
When she didn’t respond, he pulled her into his arms, probably with the intention of comforting her. Terror engulfed her, and she was in that dark alley again. She smelled the stench from a nearby dumpster mixed with Snake’s putrid cologne. She heard the rip of her shirt and the click of his knife.