He deepened the kiss, and she buried her fingers in his blond hair, messing up Cedric’s perfect hairstyle.
“Bells,” he groaned, sliding his mouth along her jaw to her neck.
“Ceds,” she groaned back.
“You don’t think— Is it possible— Could we—” He stammered like a schoolboy.
“We could try,” Bella said shyly, and Bella was never shy. She framed his face between her hands and smiled up into his blue eyes. Then it hit her harder than a good kick to the crotch. She wanted him so badly her fears seemed inconsequential compared to the desire streaking through her.
His smile lit up his entire face, except his eyes. Those deep blue eyes didn’t smile, they smoldered. He picked her up as if she were his grandmother’s priceless china, treating her with such care, she couldn’t help but trust his gentle touch.
Cedric carried her to the bed and laid her on it. “You’re in charge, Bells. Have your way with me, take things at your own speed, and stop if you need to stop.”
“What’ll that do to you?”
“Fucking kill me, but I’m prepared to die tonight, hopefully, a thousand torturous, sinful deaths.”
Bella laughed and sat up on the bed. She could do this.
Tonight.
With Cedric.
Only Cedric.
And she’d reclaim her sexuality.
* * * *
Bella sat still for a moment, deciding on a course of action. Cedric stood a few feet away, his gaze hotter than she’d ever seen it, and she’d seen some wildfires in those eyes of his.
But it’d been a long time—for both of them.
Bella jabbed a finger at him. Using her best sergeant-major voice, she ordered him to strip. His grin spread so wide, the corners of his lips should’ve touched the back of his neck. Cedric didn’t bother with a slow striptease, he yanked off his clothes in record time and stood before her in all his naked glory, waiting for his next order.
Bella took her time, drinking in her fill of his shredded body. A fine sheen of sweat covered his well-defined pecs and chiseled abs. Her gaze dropped lower. His cock stood stiff and proud. His strong skater’s thighs bulged with restrained power.
Bella swallowed, waiting for the panic to grab her by the throat. She felt fingers of fear fluttering near her neck, but they fell away. She blew out a sigh of relief, relaxing slightly. She could do this as long as she was in charge. In fact, she wanted to do this, wanted to feel his cock inside her, stretching her, thrusting and retreating until they shed their mortal bonds.
“On the bed,” she commanded in a tight voice.
He hopped on the bed, flat on his back, head propped up on a mound of pillows, and watched her, waiting for her next direction.
“Hands on the headboard and don’t remove them.” He reached up and grabbed the headboard. His mouth twitched as he tried not to smile. Her officer act was amusing him. She’d wipe that smile off his face in a few minutes, once she had her way with him. He’d be too turned on to smile because she’d have him shouting in ecstasy.
Her next step took more effort than she’d expected. Her slow strip wasn’t slow to be provocative, it was slow because she was nervous. She pulled off her jeans first and kicked them to one side. A quick glance at Cedric revealed not a smile but a smolder. With shaking hands, Bella pulled her T-shirt over her head and tossed it aside. She swallowed hard and unhooked her bra, adding it to the pile. She knew the ugly red S scar Snake had carved on her chest was clearly visible, but instead of allowing the mark to cause her to hide her body, she thrust out her chest, displaying it as if it were a badge of courage.
Perhaps it was. She’d survived, and she would beat her fear and ultimately emerge stronger than before.
Tonight was the first step.
Removing her panties, Bella put a knee on the bed and leaned forward to grab a condom from the nightstand. She’d known this night would come—had to come—and had stored them there in preparation. Heart pounding in her ears, deafening her to any other sounds, Bella knelt on the bed and reached a tentative hand toward Cedric’s erection. His dick jerked in response.
With her index finger, she gingerly touched the velvety soft tip, sliding her finger over his precum and down the shaft. Bella liked the feel of him, wanted to feel more. She wrapped her fingers loosely around his shaft and slid her hand up and down. Cedric groaned, which made her smile and feel all-powerful. She needed that power over an obviously powerful man. It gave her courage and strength.
Bella continued her careful exploration of Cedric’s cock, touching and stroking every part of him with slow, deliberate strokes. With her free hand, she cupped his balls, savoring the weight of them in her palm and squeezing gently.
“Fuck,” Cedric muttered, drawing her attention briefly. His face was contorted with pleasure over what she was doing to him and agony as he sought to keep control.
Bella tore open the condom wrapper and expertly rolled the condom onto Cedric’s cock, like she’d done countless times before. Yet this time felt like the first time, for more reasons than the attack. Something was different between the two of them, like a fragile sprout poking up through the soil out of the darkness and into the light.
Cedric was her light.
He always had been, but she hadn’t seen it until now.
Straddling him, Bella leaned forward and kissed his mouth. He kissed her back, fucking her hard with his tongue, mimicking what he’d love to do with his dick. Bella’s body wanted that too.
She drew back and concentrated on her next move. Because of the wetness between her legs, her swollen slit slid easily back and forth across the head of his penis.
“Aw, fuck, Bells.” Cedric tossed his head back and forth on the pillows; his fingers gripped the headboard so tightly his knuckles turned white.
A slow, sultry smile played at her lips. She could feel it as she welcomed back the sexual side of her. She wanted this man inside her. She wanted him to fuck her until she lay exhausted in his arms in a sweaty tangle of limbs.
“Fuck me, Bells.” Cedric’s chest rose and fell, his breathing harsh.
“I’m giving the orders, not you,” she reminded him, giving him a swat on his chest. His eyes darkened into a stormy sea of rampaging emotions. If she wasn’t careful, she’d be flat on her back, and he’d be pounding into her. The thought did hold some merit. Okay, a fucking lot of merit.
But this time was hers. He’d have his moment later.
“Just fuck me.” This time he pleaded through gritted teeth.
“I believe I shall have my way with you, my lord.” She spoke in her best imitation of a snobby British royal.
“I’m here to serve, my lady. Now just fuck my bloody brains out.”
Bella had to laugh at his horrendous British accent, but she sobered immediately and lowered her body onto his erection. She had to have him inside her. Balancing her upper body by placing her hands on his chest, she slid downward, adjusting to his size, and greedily demanding more. Bella pushed harder until she was fully impaled by his fantasy-inspiring cock.
She blew out a breath as she paused and savored the sensation of him buried inside her. He appeared to forget their game, and his hands gripped her rib cage. She didn’t care to remind him. He flexed his hips, taking her deeper.
“Does my lady wish to be fucked hard and fast or slow and deep?”
She considered her options and met his gaze. “Slow and deep. Really, really deep.” She pushed off him and back down, developing a rhythm, while he assisted quite enthusiastically. He still allowed her to have the bulk of the control, but his ability to maintain a semblance of sanity appeared to be slowly slipping away with each downward thrust of her body.
Their passion built gradually, but finished hard and fast. Bella slammed into him with every stroke while Cedric fucked her with his hips, meeting each down stroke with his own upward thrust and angling his hips to go deeper. Bella’s inner muscles gripped his dick, and he jerked inside her as his orgasm engulfed him. With whatever shred of clarity remained, he rubbed her clit, and a split second later, he took her with him.
And he branded her heart as his.
* * * *
Bella felt like a virgin. She’d fucked lots of guys, gone down on them, hooked up with them, and banged them until she was brain-dead, including and especially Cedric. But she’d never, not once, made love to a man.
Until now. Until this very moment.
By the time they lay still in the bed, listening to each other’s harsh breathing and feeling the pounding of their hearts, he owned her body and her soul. Her life would never be a long string of parties again because the best party happened to be right in this man’s arms.
Hours later Bella woke, snuggled in Cedric’s arms. She felt safe, content, and
loved.
She had no fucking idea if he truly loved her, but she was damn certain this was how it should feel. She propped her head up on one hand and watched a sleeping Cedric. He looked so sweet, so innocent, like the little boy he hadn’t been in years. She tried to imagine what kind of child he’d been—probably the center of attention, spoiled and charming. The apple of his mother’s eye and his father’s pride and joy. Yes, that would be Cedric.
Only she had a niggling suspicion his childhood hadn’t been much better than hers. Call it a hunch or intuition or whatever the fuck a person wanted to call it, but from the moment she’d first met him, she’d recognized a kindred soul, forever partying in order to avoid the pain stowed away far, far, far beneath.
Cedric opened one eye then another. A slow, sexy smile spread across his face.
“You’re looking a little smug this morning,” Bella teased.
Cedric pulled her into a deep, long kiss that led to more kisses and more of everything until they lay boneless in each other’s arms. Bella couldn’t say the sex was as hot as it had once been. That hotness had burned high and bright, falling to earth as fast as it had shot into the sky. This hotness burned bright, longer, and more intensely. She was beyond certain he’d ruined her for other men, and she honestly didn’t care.
Cedric’s stomach growled, and Bella laughed. “Hungry? I’ll fix breakfast.”
“I’d love breakfast.” He glanced at the bedside clock. “Are you cooking or are we going out? I have morning skate in about two hours.”
“I’m cooking, but don’t get used to it.” Bella stood and stretched, watching him as he watched her. She gave him a show as she took her time pulling on a short robe. He licked his lips, and his smoldering gaze rested on her ass as she gathered ingredients and put them on the kitchen counter. She bent down to pull the frying pan from a cabinet and took her time so he got the full view.
In a few short steps, he was behind her, pulling her against him, and kissing her neck. “You’re playing with fire.”
“I must be an arsonist, because I keep lighting your fire.”
He laughed as she ducked out of his arms.
“Sit,” she ordered and pointed toward one of two barstools at the small kitchen counter.
Cedric did as told, much to her surprise.
Bella got to work, soon placing two plates on the counter and sliding onto the stool next to Cedric. He dug in, eating like a starved man. Bella’s phone beeped, and she checked it.
Treatments going well. Tired but optimistic.
Bella smiled. At Cedric’s questioning arch of a brow, she filled him in. “That was from my mother. She’s doing okay.”
“That’s good to hear.”
“They may not have been the best parents, but I still love them, but I’m guessing you had it good.” She was baiting him and hoped he took the bait.
Cedric grunted a noncommittal answer, which piqued Bella’s curiosity.
“You didn’t?”
“I grew up rich. I guess that’s better than most kids.”
“Still, they must be proud of you.”
Cedric laughed a bitter, humorless laugh. “Far from it. My father considers me his biggest failure.”
“But you’re a fucking NHL player.”
“And that’s exactly why I’m a failure.”
Bella stared at him, trying to comprehend what he was saying. He faked it well, yet somehow she’d known outwardly confident Cedric was as screwed up inside as she was.
* * * *
At Bella’s quick look of utter puzzlement, Cedric reined in the bad temper he always felt whenever his father came up in conversation. Bella didn’t know. She didn’t understand his dysfunctional relationship with his wealthy parents, and he wanted her to understand. “While the other kids’ moms and dads watched their every game, I was shuttled to and from hockey by the nanny or the chauffeur.”
As far as he recalled, neither parent ever attended one of his games. When their friends mentioned his hockey prowess, the subject was quickly changed to politics, the economy, or any subject but Cedric.
“Tell me. You know a lot about my family. I know nothing about yours.”
“There’s not much to tell. I’m an only child, raised by nannies. When I got close to one, she’d be fired, and they’d hire another.” He shrugged, all the earlier good feelings crowded out by anger and pain.
Bella touched his shoulder, and he hated the sympathy in her eyes. “That must have been lonely.”
“I had hockey. Always hockey.” For the majority of his life, hockey had been the only thing he’d had to hold on to. His teammates had been his family. His coaches had been his surrogate parents.
She nodded. “At least I had my sisters. Do you ever see them?”
“My parents? Not if I can help it. My father only criticizes, and my mother is completely cowed by him. She never says much of anything. Her cure for all ailments is to go shopping. Even so, she’s still my mother, and there were moments when she tried to protect me.”
“You aren’t like either one of them.”
“Thank you. I hope I’m not. I learned from a young age I never wanted to emulate either of them. My father is a ruthless businessman, a first-class, power-hungry tyrant.”
“No love lost?”
“None at all. Maybe that’s why I had an instant affinity with the Wolfe brothers.”
Bella nodded slowly. “I can understand that. But those guys have the worst father ever. Makes me feel spoiled.”