Bodychecking (5 page)

“Raped?” she finished for him. “Thank God, no, I wasn’t. Just beat up and threatened with a knife.”

She caught his quick glance down at her breasts and knew he’d seen Snake’s mark.

“Bella, tell me the truth.”

She shook her head, bringing on a bout of nausea. Kicking off the covers, she struggled to her feet. Cedric was beside her in a flash, helping her to the bathroom. He held her hair and stroked her back as she prayed to the porcelain gods.

“Bells, baby, this is killing me. I’m worried about you.”

She said nothing, and she wasn’t so proud that she didn’t lean on him as she staggered back to the warmth and comfort of his big bed. She didn’t want to talk about this. Not now. Maybe not ever. She’d been cocky and careless, the very things she preached against in her self-defense classes. She’d been the ultimate in stupid. And she wasn’t done beating herself up over it. Not by a long shot.

Even worse, her sisters had been right. She’d been overconfident of her ability to handle any situation, and she was fucking lucky she hadn’t been raped.

“Who did this to you?” Cedric’s usually relaxed expression hardened to stone. He didn’t look like himself. “I’ll fucking kill the bastard. Let me round up Coop and Ice, and he’ll be sorry he ever sat his sorry ass on this earth.”

Judging by his murderous expression, she believed him. “I don’t know, but if I did, he’s not worth going to jail for.”

He didn’t look convinced but he dropped the subject. Instead he brought up a worse one. “We need to report this to the police.”

“No, no, no,” she begged. “They won’t do anything.”

“We’re reporting it.” His conviction rang in his words, and she was too weary to fight him.

And he did report it.

Hours later, the cops finally left after taking a report from Bella. The entire time Cedric sat next to her, his arm protectively around her, while these two men regarded her with expressions full of judgment and blame.

After they left, Cedric drove her to the emergency room, ignoring her feeble protests. The doctor didn’t tell her anything she hadn’t already known, but the relief on Cedric’s face made it worth it. She was bruised, battered, and had a mild concussion. As soon as they arrived back at Cedric’s condo, she went to the bedroom and buried herself under mounds of covers.

“Should I call your sisters?” Cedric stood in the doorway, wringing his hands.

“Please, promise you won’t call them. They can’t know about this. They’ll say ‘I told you so’ and they’ll be right. I don’t need anyone else pointing out how stupid I was.”

“I haven’t done that.” He crossed the room and sat on the edge of the bed.

Bella glanced up and caught his hurt expression. She reached out and wrapped her fingers around his biceps. “You’re the only one.”

“Because no one else knows.” He pointed out the obvious.

“Those cops looked at me like I was an idiot, and I know what they were thinking, ‘How stupid can you be?’” Bella shuddered and pulled the down comforter up to her chin.

“Bella—”

“They said I was lucky I wasn’t raped or murdered, as if I don’t fucking know that. I need to find that homeless man and repay his kindness.”

He said nothing, but she didn’t see judgment or blame in his worried expression.

“Please, hold me. I need you.” She’d turned to Cedric in her hour of need, and she did need him more than she’d ever imagined. Crawling in bed with her, he wrapped her in his arms and held on tight. Bella did too because her life would never be the same, and she didn’t know where to go from here.

The next afternoon Cedric wandered into the living room to find Bella bundled up in a blanket watching sappy old black-and-white movies on the classic movie channel. A pint of ice cream sat in her lap as she shoveled bite after bite into her mouth straight from the container. They’d made a quick trip to her apartment to grab a few things earlier in the day, which had consisted of Bella clinging to him and jumping at every noise—real or imagined. After which Cedric had attempted his ritual pregame nap without any success.

How the fuck did one sleep when his girlfriend—and he wanted Bella to be his girlfriend—had suffered such trauma? Cedric’s stomach churned every time he thought about what she’d endured and what could’ve happened. Even as he maintained a calm outer appearance, he wanted to break something, preferably the asshole’s face.

“I have to get to the arena for the game tonight, Bells,” Cedric said, torn between his team and Bella, who needed him more. “I could tell them I have the flu.”

Bella glanced up. Her spoon halfway to her mouth. She shook her head vehemently. “No, you won’t. I’ll be fine. You have a security system.”

“I’ll call one of your sisters—”

“No,” she barked with such forcefulness, he staggered back a step. She swallowed and attempted a conciliatory smile. “You promised you wouldn’t involve them.”

Cedric frowned. He hated this. He wanted to call Izzy, but he knew there’d be hell to pay if he told any member of her family. Yet, it seemed so wrong to keep this from them. One of her sisters could sit with her while he was at the game. They’d comfort her in ways he couldn’t because, well, he was a guy who’d been raised with very little love. He didn’t know how to comfort someone. Whenever he’d been sick growing up, his nanny du jour had been at his side, not his parents.

Then there was that promise he’d made to her last night in an attempt to calm her down. He’d promised not to tell her sisters until she was ready, and unlike his father, Cedric kept his promises, even the stupid ones. “Okay, but I’m not crazy about leaving you here alone.”

“It’s perfectly safe. This is a secure building, and I’m not venturing outside this apartment.”

“At least promise me you’ll eat something other than ice cream.” He stared pointedly at the now empty container.

“I’ll have some soup.” She was lying, and they both knew it. She stared up at him with haunted eyes full of fear, and he froze in place. He couldn’t fucking leave her like this.

“Bells—”

“Go,” she ordered, turning into the old, bossy Bella briefly, as she pointed toward the door. “Give me some peace. You’ve been hovering like a paranoid mother with a newborn.”

Cedric had been called a lot of things in his life, but mother had never been one of them, unless it was motherfucker.

Reluctantly, he left for the ice arena, getting there late, which threw him off his game as he hurried through all his pregame rituals and didn’t have time to work on his relaxation techniques. His head wasn’t in the game. He played like crap and breathed a sigh of relief at the final buzzer. He ignored the questioning looks Coop cast his way in the locker room afterwards.

Brick, their young goalie, never known for his tact, trundled over, still wearing some of his goalie gear since he’d been held up doing an on-ice interview. Brick hated clothes because he overheated worse than a polar bear in the desert. Even now sweat ran down his forehead, but he ignored it. The man was on a mission. He propped his hands on his hips and glared down at Cedric.

“You played like shit, Smooth,” he said as he studied Cedric. “You’re always Mr. Reliable. What the fuck is wrong with you tonight?”

Cedric shook his head. “Off my game, feeling a touch of the flu or something.” He was known for his consistent play, and he’d prided himself on being the guy a team depended on. So what? He’d had one bad game. Not the end of the world. He’d been worried about Bella and let the situation mess with his head. He was a professional, and it would not happen again.

Brick regarded him for several more seconds, as if he saw right through the bullshit. With a long-suffering sigh, he turned away, stripping off his pads and uniform as he lumbered to his stall.

Coop, fresh from his shower, toweled off at the locker next to his, and Cedric knew what was coming next.

“Damn. I’ve never seen you play so shitty,” Coop said.

Cedric shrugged and pulled on his dress pants. He didn’t have an answer for Cooper or any member of his team. They’d lost the game, and Cedric contributed to that loss. Coop’s shrewd gaze dissected him, but he kept his head down, pretending to check his phone.

“This wouldn’t have anything to do with Bella, would it? She’s had your dick wrapped around her pinkie for the past several months.” Trust Cooper to cut right to the heart of the matter, even if he hadn’t a clue what the meat of the issue was.

Cedric buttoned his shirt and tied his tie, knowing their stubborn team captain wouldn’t let him get away without answering, but he was damn well going to try it anyway.

Cooper narrowed his eyes, his perceptive gaze cutting through the bullshit. “Hey, I know she’s a ball-buster, but we need your head to be in the game in order to get into the playoffs.”

Cedric nodded tightly. “Yeah, I know. I’m fucking pissed at myself for my shitty performance.”

“So, it is Bella?”

“No, it’s me. Got a lot on my mind, and I let it affect my game.” Cedric plotted a course to bolt for the door and freedom, but Cooper anticipated his plans and cut off his escape route.

“Have you seen her? Izzy’s been trying to call her, and she doesn’t answer. That’s not like her.” The bastard was relentless when he was suspicious, and even when he wasn’t.

“Yeah, she’s at my house. She lost her phone.”

The stubborn dick raised a dark brow but said nothing more. Cedric slipped past him. A few minutes later, he was in his car racing home.

The TV was blaring when he entered, and Bella was still bundled in a down comforter, remote in her hand, sound asleep. He almost smiled in relief. She looked so peaceful after what had happened the night before.

Cedric pried the remote from her hands. Obviously she hadn’t read the house rules stating a man’s remote was his most prized and coveted possession. He turned down the TV, trying to decide whether to wake her or leave her be and go to bed.

That’d be a first, going to bed alone with Bella in the house, but he couldn’t leave her out here by himself. He picked her up, and she snuggled against him as he carried her to the master bedroom. He laid her down on the bed and waited until he was certain she was sound asleep, cradling her in his arms.

He got out of bed and paced his living room, his mind too active for sleep.

Bella needed his help, but he sure as hell didn’t know what to do.

* * * *

Bella wrung her hands and battled a panic attack as Cedric set his suitcase by the door and turned to her. She’d never been prone to panic attacks, but her best friend, Angela, who embraced all things drama, succumbed to them on a regular basis. Bella assumed her friend faked them the majority of the time, but maybe she’d been too quick to judge. After all, Angela’s emotional baggage would fill up the cargo bay of a 737.

Bella hated being such a chickenshit but tried to cut herself some slack. The attack had been on Saturday night, and it was only Monday morning after all. She’d done remarkably well, all things considered. If remarkably well included hiding out under a blanket on Cedric’s couch, gorging on anything containing sugar, and watching endless chick flicks, which she normally hated.

“I don’t like leaving you, but I don’t have any choice.” Cedric shifted from one foot to the other. His fists opened and closed as if he wanted to grab something and hang on. Bella understood the feeling. She’d been hanging on to him for the last forty-eight hours. He’d been her rock, revealing a tender side she’d never seen before, and she adored him for it.

The Sockeyes had a three-game road trip to Canada, starting in Calgary and ending in Vancouver on New Year’s Eve. Bella would be alone for the better part of four nights. The thought terrified her, but she had her bear spray, and she’d sleep with the shiny new iPhone Cedric had bought her today. Besides, the condo’s state-of-the-art security system would keep her safe. Good thing she’d stocked up on ten different flavors of ice cream because she doubted Baskin-Robbins delivered.

“I’ll be fine.” Her unconvincing lie brought a worried frown to his handsome face.

“What are you going to do with your time?”

Bella shrugged. “I’m thinking of enrolling in a couple online classes. The U-Dub has a program.” She used Seattleites’ nickname for the University of Washington. Of course, such programs required money, which she did not have. In fact, as of January 1, she’d be out of an apartment too. She’d been planning to move in with her friend, Angela, and had already given notice, but Angela brought home strange guys all the time, and Bella was no longer comfortable with that. In fact, the next chance she got, she’d lecture Angela on the perils of sleeping with strangers.

“That’s good.” He pulled out a debit card, as if reading her mind. “Here, in case you need anything.” He jotted the PIN on a sticky note.

“Thank you.” If she had any pride, she wouldn’t have accepted his handout, but her pride appeared to have dived under the bed along with her kick-ass attitude. Bella gazed into his eyes and swallowed. “You don’t mind me being here?”

“You can stay as long as you please.” He leaned in to plant a kiss on her cheek, frowning when she stiffened. He brought up a hand to touch her cheek, and she forced herself not to shrink from his touch. “I’ve been telling you for months I wanted an exclusive relationship with you. Nothing’s changed.”

He was dead wrong about that. Everything had changed. The carefree Bella had gone to ground after the attack and refused to surface, leaving this trembling, insecure stranger in her place. She didn’t like this new Bella, but she wasn’t sure she liked the old Bella either.

“Exclusive it is until one of us wants out.” Bella managed a smile, grateful for the security his words gave her, even though such an agreement would’ve sent her running for the nearest stranger’s arms a few days earlier.

Strangers
. She involuntarily shuddered as she recalled the danger she’d put herself in time and time again by hooking up with the men she’d met in bars. Virtual strangers. She’d been cocky and over-confident and incredibly stupid all the while preaching safety and self-defense to battered and traumatized students in her self-defense course.