BOMAW Vol. 10-12 (12 page)

"Okay, got that ... I'd heard a bit of that anyway, but that nails it if Jake say so."

"You better believe it. And, stay away from girls that have been around, and around, and around the block if possible. If you end up with one that has been, keep her hands away from your condom. My dad always said, "That's
your
dick, its up to you to take care of it!"

"Oh shit, he say that?"

"Yes, believe me, my dad doesn't bullshit when it comes to that. Also, don't kiss her in the mouth, go straight to her neck and get busy elsewhere, you know suck her tits or whatever-..."

"Dai-amn!" Mundo started laughing into his pillow, trying to keep it down.

"...-hey, that's serious business. Never kiss a girl in the mouth you're not serious about or don't know. Just stare her in the eyes, kiss her temple, blow in her ear, kiss her on the neck, nip her on the earlobe, and let the hands get to roaming, she'll be happy with that and will never know the difference,
if
you're feelin' her up, right."

"Ah man! Okay, so just feel'er up, don't kiss in the mouth."

"Exactly, because if she's been around, maybe sucked a few dicks, you don't want that, chances are, she may have picked up something. You wanna try to at least to stick with girls that are clean. But then you run the risk of a complicated relationship."

"Ah shit, clean means trouble, just like the nasty."

"True, but different problems."

"So how you suppose to know they clean?" Mundo asked.

"Okay, here goes, you're gonna have to do the sniff test."

"The sniff - what? Sniff - wait a goddamn minute now, what I got to sniff?!" Mundo raised up to ask, making Ben snatch his pillow over his mouth to keep his laughter from roaring out from him. "Shhh ... don't make me laugh now, this is important, this is my dad's, Jake's technique of knowing what you're getting."

"Aaah shit now. You mean I got to sniff somethin'? Aaah man, I'on know 'bout that."
Mundo shook his head worried.

Trying not to laugh anymore, Ben leaned up, clearing his throat, inhaling with the shake of his head trying to get serious. "Listen now, this is very important. There's varying stages of this, the best place for a first time, is in a car."

"In a car? Why?"

"Because of the heat, close confines and the fact that if she's not clean, it will come out in that car. Are you listening?"

"Damn skippy I'm listenin', I got to hear this."

"Okay, this is what dad says and its true. First thing, beware of girls that use a large amount of strong perfume. If the perfume gets to you before they're halfway in the room, avoid! They're trying to cover something up."

"Okay, loud perfume that's chokin' the hell out yo'ass - skip over, she may be a nasty."

"You got it. Next, you're in a car right?"

"Right."

"You gettin' all close, cool?"

"Yep, gettin' all close, cool."

"Okay, this is it, start taking deep breaths while you're kissing her neck, down her front."

"Deep breaths?"

"Yes, don't hyper ventilate! Just act like you're all turned on, you know, heavy patting and panting, but really, you're sniffing her over. You're sniffing it out ... that's the role of the dog, man, sniff it out, first."

"Ain't that some shit! Jake told you this?"

"Yep, all of us. Now listen, you must get her, to spread her thighs, to open up for you. If you're not hit yet, with a harsh odor, keep going, everything is okay."

"Okay, so what's like a harsh odor, like what?"

"Put it this way, when you get that scent of her, it should turn you on. It should make you hard as hell, hard as a fuckin' steel pipe. Its like a musky, natural scent that is slight on some women and stronger on others, but it should never put you off! It should not make your eyes water, should not wanna make you pinch your noise and run for your life."

"Aaah hell naw! I'm stayin' a virgin if I got to go through all that!"

Ben was laughing again, "Hey, its life! Its what you have to do to protect yourself! Now pay attention! This shit is important!"

"I'm listenin', I'm listenin'!"

"So there you are,
her thighs are spread for you, you're turned on, she's smelling like a rose, so far so good. Time to get those fingers down in there, get in them folds of her, I mean really get it on you, your fingers that is. Now, this is crucial ... fingers are soaked, time to reach up with that same hand and bare a breast on the pretense of kissing it, sucking it. Face, mouth goes for the nipple, fingers are right there ... now ... sniff."

"That's when you sniff?"

"That's when you breath in deep. That's when you'll know for sure. If an offensive, foul order hits you then, play time is over."

"Aaah hell yeah, I gotcha now. That's straight! I always wondered about that shit. Now what you do, if what you sniff ain't right?"

"Then, you sit up quick and go, "What the fuck! What time is it?" All of a sudden, you just remembered that you have to be home, or somewhere
NOW
, that very moment for whatever reason you can think of. You push her aside, wipe your fingers off, by the way, keep
"Handy Wipes"
in your van, tucked under your front seat. Everything you do, should be done as if you're in a big hurry. Wipe up your hands, whatever ... get that car started, tell her, sorry, we gone have to do this another day! I have to get out of here! I have to get my ass home, and now! Bring in your mother! Something that you promised your mother, or that your mother asked you to do ... when you bring in your mother and you're panicking, it works! Mother is the hidden code word that will get you out of all kinds of situations like that. Trust me, I've had to use it more than a few times. So now, come on, let me hear it back."

"Okay, okay, okay, keep a condom for my shit!"

"Two condoms! Two for one go!"

"Oh yeah, straight, two for one."

"That's right, no condoms, sorry, no ass for you that day
,
take no fuckin' chances and what else?"

"Avoid kissing in the mouth, 'cause ain't no tellin' where her mouth been."

"Back up, what's the first sign, you missin' it."

"Oh, okay, avoid loud perfume wearers, 'cause they trying to cover up a rotten, corroded, nasty, funky
ass
!"

Ben roared and then sucked it back, covering his mouth again and nodding his head, he pointed at Mundo again, for next.

"Get her ass in a closed vehicle, close confines, start sniffing the air like Deputy Dog,
what the hell is that smell
?!"

Benjamin had to stay in the pillow and so from there, just pointed at him for the next tip.

"The final sniff test! Get them thighs open, get them fingers in there, stir it up a lil'bit, then go for the titty. Hand at the titty, mouth at the titty... sniff!"

Ben rose to ask, "And if it ain't smelling too right?"

"What time is it!? Mama gone kill me! Oh lawd, mama gone set my ass on fire, I gots to go! I gots to go
now!
"

"Yes! And you're the hell out of there!"

"Yeah baby... hell, I'm ready now! Well ... lil'bit... now what you do if she pass the sniff test?"

Ben collapsed on the bed with a groan.

Camp Daniels

"Morning Althea."

"Mornin' Royce, how you doing this mornin'?" The fifty plus year old women asked; she'd been working in the Camp Daniel's police office as a secretary and dispatcher for the last twenty-five years, knew all there was to know about what was going on in their small town.

"Can't complain much." Royce returned heading for the coffee table to make himself a cup. He was dressed in his uniform, hat under his arm, getting ready to head out on his normal routes when their chief stuck his head out of his office calling to him.

"Officer Collier, wanna step in here for a minute please; 'fore you head out?"

Right away, Royce was put on alert. Their chief always addressed them all by their first names unless he called them for official business or for disciplinary. "Sure, I'll be right there." He answered, stirring his coffee and grabbing a couple of Althea's homemade oatmeal cookies, they were the best ever. He wondered what this sudden meeting was about.

In the chief's office he took a seat in front of his desk.

"Let me ask you something Officer Collier, seein' as how word has it you've hooked up with one of our new citizens for a few weeks now. What'a'ya know about her husband?"

Royce stared a moment unsure of what he was being asked. "I'm not sure what you mean? What are you getting at?"

"You seein' Shanna Sykes?"

"Shanna McPherson, yes."

"Her name's Sykes, she's currently married to a John Sykes, that right?"

"Well, yeah - they're getting a divorce."

"I see. You know when about that's due?"

"Real soon, I'm thinking sometime this week, can't be sure on the exact date, why?"

Capt. Hurst, lifted two sheets that were trying to roll up and passed them for Royce to see. "Those came up on the fax this mornin'. Few minutes later, I got a call from the CPD, Columbus Police Department; seems that uh, his family - claims he's missin'."

Royce unrolled the two sheets, one of them had a picture of John Sykes on the front of it and on the other, a list of his details, when he was last seen, the usual missing persons details. Taking a deep breath, Royce looked up at his chief, "Missing since when?"

"They say they haven't seen nor heard from him since Memorial day weekend. His mama claims he had plans to come up here, see his wife. Try and get her back. Know anything about that?"

Royce nodded, fighting the need to take a deep breath. His heart was hammering like mad, disturbing his breathing, but for the life of him, he would not let it show. Instead he nodded his head letting out a small amount of the nervous tension suddenly swollen from a rush of adrenaline as he answered, "Matter of fact I do. She was a nervous wreck when she heard that he was here. Not quite sure what happened. She was expecting him to show up at her door, never did."

"Why would she be nervous?"

"Domestic violence. If you check his details back in Columbus, Ohio you'll find that she had a restraining order out on him. He was still trying to make contact with her despite that." He informed him, appearing to be cool and calm.

"Domestic violence huh?" The chief asked sitting back in his chair, closely observing his officer.

"Yeah." Royce returned.

"How exactly, is it that she heard that he was here? Did he call her? Did he leave her a note? What?"

"He'd been spotted by one of her neighbors, who basically told her, he'd seen someone near her property. A man that matched her husband's description."

"A neighbor huh?"

"Yeah, a neighbor."

"Who?"

"Who what? The neighbor?"

"Yeah, who's the neighbor that saw him?"

Royce sat back taking a deep breath finally, "Her brother's stepson."

"McPherson? Shawn McPherson who just moved in here last year?"

"Yes."

"Now, that don't exactly add up to just ... a neighbor, now do it?"

"Family then, a family member saw him."

"Why didn't you say that in the first place?"

Royce shrugged, keeping eye contact.

The chief sighed, shaking his head a moment, then asked, "Shawn McPherson's stepson?"

"Yeah."

"His name?"

"Armundo Payne, everyone calls him Mundo, he saw him. Saw'im at the Subway/restaurant and then saw him again that night she was so upset. Seems he'd been sneaking around her property late at night."

"I see. Then what?"

"Nothing. Nothing ever came of it. She called me, upset, scared of him. I went to her, talked to her, calmed her down. That sort of thing."

"You ever see'im?"

"Just pictures. Ones that she showed me and now this one." He answered, keeping his head clear.

"And this young man, what's his name again?"

"Mundo."

"Yes, this Mundo. He's sure that this man sneaking around her property, was her husband?"

"He seemed to be."

The chief nodded his head, leaning back and to the left with his elbow perched on the chair arm, his chin resting on his thumb, his index finger playing with his bottom lip as he sat thinking about what lay before him now. It was his turn to take a really deep breath.

"Mind me, you and I, that is, goin' over there and talking with her? With him? This Mundo?"

"Well, you can talk to her, but uh, Mundo isn't there, he's out of town. The entire family is."