Bonds of Trust (13 page)

Chapter Nineteen

The bouncer’s eyes flashed with appreciation as he helped Cali remove her trench coat. The outer garment was required for concealment as much as warmth. It still surprised her how much that simple acknowledgement of interest from other men stoked her arousal. It was the secret security and knowledge that she had nothing to fear from their interest that freed her to feel.

Because she belonged to Jake.

She rubbed her hand over her bare neck. Even without a collar, no one else would touch her here without Jake’s permission. That thought alone made her feel protected and powerful.

She didn’t even know if she wanted to wear his collar. She’d seen them on other submissives in the club and had never thought she’d be into that level of claiming. A visual tag of ownership that could be viewed as both empowering and demeaning, depending on who was looking.

Cali smoothed a moist palm down the seam of the strapless bustier, the leather soft and supple against her skin. The restrictive garment kept her from taking the deep breath she desperately needed, but the constriction reminded her of why she was wearing the outfit. Because Jake wanted her to.

She’d been led to an office this time and her attention strayed once again to the wall of screens that revealed every area of the club. Every area. The amount of visual information displayed so openly had at first shocked then stimulated her. The variety of Scenes and images shown blew her still vanilla mind. Gags and whips, bondage and blindfolds, couples, trios, hetero, homo—you name it, it was presented before her in full-colored detail. The breadth and scope of activity was what truly shocked her. She’d had no idea the extent of the club’s offerings.

Did Jake participate in all of it?

Would he make her some day?

The thought was both frightening and tantalizing.

The sudden intrusion of the booming club music had her whipping away from the cameras, the guilt at being caught watching flushing her cheeks. Jake stopped in the doorway, his slow, admiring visual caress over her body heating her until she thought she’d melt.

“You look stunning.” His voice washed over her with his gaze. She’d followed the instructions he’d included in his package, down to the last detail. It soothed her to know she’d pleased him.

“Thank you.” She clasped her hands before her to keep from fidgeting with the hem of the impossibly short leather skirt. The urge to tug it down was almost irresistible.

He stepped into the room, the loud beat of music abruptly cutting off when he shut the door. His boots thumped as he moved in front of her. He wore black, as always, only tonight he had on a silk button-down shirt that made him appear dressed up.

He ran a finger over her throat, the light stroke sending tingles of anticipation through her. She’d twisted her hair up tonight, as he’d instructed, leaving her neck exposed. His eyes followed the back and forth movement of his finger as it caressed her skin. He appeared contemplative, like he was uncertain about something. It was a look she’d never seen on him before.

“Are you okay?”

His focus shot back to her. “Why do you ask?”

“You seem, I don’t know,” she said, a little hesitant. “Worried.” She reached up and rubbed her thumb over the creases etched into his forehead.

He jerked away from her touch, leaving her hand hanging awkwardly in the air. “I’m fine,” he said, the sharp bite of his words a verbal slap at her concern. “Let’s go.” He grabbed her dangling hand and pulled her behind him out the door.

Surprised, she stumbled after him down the long hallway, trying to walk as quickly as possible, given the height of her heels and short skirt. What was up with him? He’d never treated her like this. Abruptly she stopped and yanked on his hand.

He spun, anger flashing in his eyes before he had her pinned against the wall, her wrists held tightly over her head. Her heart rate spiked, an instant flash of fear coursing through her.

“Do you question me, Cali?”

Yes. Right now she did. But she trusted him. Whatever was wrong, she trusted him not to harm her. “No,” she finally answered, her gaze stubbornly anchored to his collarbone.

He inhaled and she watched his pulse pound short, sharp beats on his throat. “Good.” He let her hands drop but kept them bound tightly in one of his. “You owe me for that act of insubordination. Now, let’s go.”

She followed him, head down, as he led her through the crowd of people filling the main floor. Was this a new test? To see if she’d question his authority in front of others? She wasn’t sure, but she knew enough not to do that. Her only concern now was to keep from angering him further. To ease the ball of angst settling in her gut. A sensation she hadn’t felt since she’d agreed to be his sub.

“Good evening, Master Jake,” someone called out as they passed by.

“Master Jake,” another voice purred.

“Sir, sir,” yet another voice begged. “Are you taking clients again?”

Jake ignored them all.

He finally stopped when they’d reached the second floor. His gaze traveled the length of the open room until it settled on an open piece of equipment. A slow, almost devious smile crept over his lips. Nervous fear rolled in her as he moved into the Dungeon, the open space made available for public displays of Dominance and submission. The room she’d only seen once.

Did he really mean to do a Scene here?

She stumbled, her heels catching against each other as she tried to process Jake’s intentions. Up ’til now, they’d only done private Scenes. She didn’t think she could do one in front of others.

Where anyone could see her.

Suddenly she was in his arms. Jake’s warmth surrounded her. Protecting her.

“You can do this,” he reassured her. His breath caressed her ear. “I want you to do this.”

Her eyes were clenched tight as she willed her heartbeat to slow. The cries and moans filling the room blended with the thumps, smacks and hisses of equipment and the heady scent of arousal and sweat until it all roared in her head.

“Trust me,” Jake breathed, stroking her back in gentle, soothing motions. “You need this. Trust me.”

Again. Those two words.
Trust me.

One breath. Two breaths. Slow, calming breaths. Not that she was even close to calm. But they helped.

He stepped back enough to lift her chin up so she could see him. “Same rules apply as always. Use your safe word and we stop now.”

That knowledge alone finally seemed to quiet her nerves. She could stop this whenever she wanted.

“Okay,” she said, his silver-gray eyes holding her steady. “Green.”

The flash of approval was all she needed to follow through. The Scene prep proceeded quickly from there. Maybe it was the fog clouding her mind from the fear she’d banked back or the fact that it all felt surreal, like it was happening to someone else. But in what seemed like seconds, Cali found herself strapped, spread-eagle, to a St. Andrew’s Cross on full display to everyone in the room.

“Eyes open,” Jake ordered. “Focus on me, Cali.”

She obeyed. “Yes, Jake.”

He stood before her, toying with the front zipper of her bustier. The warmth of his attention contrasted with the cool, hard surface of the metal at her back and the stiff, scratchy leather cuffs on her wrists and ankles.

Her breaths were short and constricted within the confines of the garment. The slow rasp of the zipper precluded the cool flush of air that met her skin. Jake watched her reaction as her breasts were exposed to everyone. One gulping breath of air filled her lungs as the restriction was removed. Her muscles tightened, pulling on the chains binding her wrists until they clanged menacingly against their brackets.

“Beautiful,” Jake said, the reverence clear in this low voice. His fingers flick over the nipple clamps she’d been wearing under the bustier. He took a second to tighten the screws on each clamp until the nubs were aching, the air only enticing them more. “You follow directions perfectly.”

He gave a tug on the connecting chain, shooting twin bolts of pain from her nipples in a direct line of fire to her pussy.

“Safe words, Cali.”

“Red, stop. Yellow, slow down. Green, go,” she panted.

“And where are we now?”

“Green.”

“Excellent.”

Jake had removed her skirt before he bound her ankles, so only her skimpy, boy-short panties, which hid nothing behind the black lace, remained. Despite her exposure, she was amazed to realize she was still okay with everything. The location didn’t change how her mind and body reacted to being bound. She was excited and turned on beyond her imagination. She was in his hands.

He would take care of her.

And with that knowledge, she let go.

“I’m using a flogger tonight. The marks will show red and bright against your pale skin. You’ll looked at them tomorrow and know I gave them to you.” He rubbed the ends of the object in discussion up her leg in a teasing taunt that immediately had her wanting more. The anticipation made her pussy wet, while her mind relaxed, settling into the quiet space of acceptance. “You’re going to beg me to let you come. But you won’t until I tell you. You won’t question me or resist me.” He leaned in and spoke directly into her ear. “Make me proud, Cali. Show everyone what a good sub you are.”

The biting sting of the flogger flicked over the tender flesh of her thighs, making her cringe. He’d used a flogger on her before, so the sensation wasn’t new. But this one was sharper, the sting more intense than the flogger he’d used previously.

He stepped back and she blanked her mind, letting the feeling absorb her. It was easier to do than she’d thought. Sinking into the pain, letting go, was something she’d come to need.

“Why’d you come here?” The question yanked her from her zone, pulled her back to the moment. “Answer me.” The command was followed with a snap of the flogger tails over her breasts.

She sucked in a breath, clenching tighter around her chains. He’d asked her a question. One she was supposed to answer.

“To find a Dom,” she puffed out.

“But why?” Again, the bite across her breast, the tails clipping her sore nipples. “Why did you want a Dom?”

Why was he asking her this? “Because I wanted to be dominated?”

“Wrong.” The angry retort was emphasized with an intense strike across her stomach. Her gut instinctively sucked in to get away from the attack, but it was already too late. “I want the real reason.”

She tried to meet his eyes to see what he wanted from her, but he wouldn’t look at her. His focus was completely on her body, on the pink strips patterned over her flesh. What did he want? Another strike, the pain intensified and cloaked through her mind, making it even harder to think.

“I don’t know,” she whimpered, her voice confused and weak. Her gaze flew around the room, as if she’d find the answer somewhere out there. But all she saw was a collection of intent faces all focused on her. On the Scene she was a part of.
Oh, God.
She felt the panic start to rise, the fear of being exposed clawing through her. What was she doing here?

Then Jake was there, blocking her view, meeting her eyes. “Focus on me.” His intensity seared into her, restoring her calm. “You know the answer.” He gave her one brief kiss, his warm lips brushing against hers in a touch of confirmation before he stepped back and sent another lashing over her stomach. “Answer.”

Answer. The stinging pain buzzed through her senses, her nerves on fire from the flaying of the flogger. Answer. Why did she come there? “To be touched.”

That was true. It rang true in her garbled mind.

“Good.” The hiss of the leather straps gave a brief warning before they connected with her midriff. “Why did you want to be touched?”

She bit her lip—against the truth or the pain? She wasn’t sure. Why was he doing this? Jake knew the answer. She’d told him the first night.

“Cali.” The command bolted through her name.

She let her head fall forward, whether from shame or the simple inability to hold it up, she didn’t know. “Because he wouldn’t touch me,” she whispered.

“Who’s he?”

Who’s
he
? Fuck him. He knew who
he
was. Jake knew all of this.

Swish, snap
—another bite across one, then the other thigh. The endorphins were flooding her system now, merging with the pain to bring the wonderful floating sensation. She just wanted to float, not answer questions.

Suddenly her chin was yanked up, her eyes flying open with the action. Jake stared back at her, his eyes dark and narrowed with anger. “You’re disobeying me.” His words were spoken through a clenched jaw, his brow furrowed in a mix of disappoint and disgust.

Tears prickled in her eyes. The realization that she was the cause of those feelings stung worse than the bite of the flogger. “Sorry, sir,” she whispered.

“Jake,” he snapped, his grip tightening on her chin.

“Jake,” she pleaded. “Sorry. Please.”

His fingers loosened slightly. “Who’s in control here?”

“You.”

“Who do you answer to?”

“You.”

“Then answer me, Cali.” Stepping back, he lifted the flogger and brought it down over her breasts, her arms and then stomach. “Now. Or end it.” His breath heaved, as heavy and deep as her own. His chest lifted in large draughts as he waited. For her.

She blinked rapidly to hold back the threatening tears. She wouldn’t cry. Not here. Her lip quivered, her arms twitched, the tension strung tight from her grip on the chains. She could use her safe word. Stop the Scene. But she had to trust him. He was making her do this for a reason. One she didn’t understand, but there must be one. She had to believe that.

“My ex-husband,” she finally croaked. God, the shame. She wanted to die. Right there. Her eyes were closed tight against the ridicule she knew she’d see in the watching faces. Her lips were clamped between her teeth to keep the agonizing moan from escaping. The one that sat aching in the back of her throat.

“Good girl.”

Smack
, another bite of the flogger. And another. Jake continued with more strikes until her mind was floating back to the nowhere zone. Her muscles were beginning to relax once again, her hold on the chains going slack.