Book of the Dead: A Zombie Anthology (15 page)

The boy’s chest was rigid, his upper arms stiff. He seemed to be using something below the window to hold himself back, with al his strength, so that his upper body shook from the exertion.

She thought of television screens and their disembodied heads, ever so slightly out of focus, the individual dots of the transmitted heads moving apart with increasing randomness so that feature blended into feature and face into face until eventual y the heads al looked the same: pinkish clouds of media flesh.

His head moved no no no. As if denying what was happening to him. He had been the first and was now the most advanced case of something they stil had no name for. Given what had been going on in the rest of the country, the Denver Department of Health and Hospitals had natural y been quite concerned. An already Alert status had become a Crisis and doctors from al over—

including a few with vague, unspecified governmental connections—had descended on the hospital.

Although it was official y discouraged, now and then in the hospital’s corridors she had overheard the whispered word
zombie
.

“Jesus, wil you look at him!”

Elaine turned. Mark planted a quick kiss on her lips. “Mark… somebody wil see…” But she made no attempt to move away from him.

“I think they already know.” He nibbled down her jaw-line. Elaine thought to pul away, but could not. His touch on her body, his attention, had always made her feel beautiful. It was, in fact, the only time she ever felt beautiful.

“You didn’t want anyone to know just yet, remember?” She gasped involuntarily as he moved to the base of her throat. “Christ, Mark.” She took a deep breath and pushed herself away from him. “Remember what you said about young doctors and hospital nurses? Especial y young doctors with administrative aspirations?”

He looked at her. “Did I sound al that cold-blooded? I’m sorry.”

She looked back up at the boy, Tom, in the window. Hopelessly out of control. No no no. “No—

you weren’t that bad. But I’m beginning to feel a little like somebody’s mistress.”

Some of the other nurses were now going into the building. Elaine thought they purposely avoided looking at the head-shaking boy in the window. “I’l make it up to you,” Mark whispered. “I swear. Not much longer.” But Elaine didn’t answer; she just stared at the boy in the window.

There was now a steady stream of people walking up the steps, entering the hospital, very few permitting themselves to look at the boy.
Tom
, she thought.
His name is Tom
. She watched their quiet faces, wondering what they were thinking, if they were having stray thoughts about Tom but immediately suppressing them, or if they were having no thoughts about the boy at al . If bothered her not knowing. People led secret lives, secret even from those closest to them. It bothered her not knowing if they bore her il wil , or good wil , or if for them she didn’t exist at al . Her mother had always told her she cared far too much about what other people thought.

“I gather al the Fed doctors left yesterday afternoon,” Mark said behind her.

“What? I thought they closed al the airports.”

“They did. I heard this morning the governor even ordered gun emplacements on al the runways. Guess they left the city in a bus or something.”

Elaine tried to rub the chil off her arms with shaking hands. The very idea of leaving the city in something other than an armored tank terrified her. It had been only a few months since the last flights. Then that plane had come in from Florida: al those dead people with suntans strol ing off the plane as if they were on vacation. A short time later two smal towns on Colorado’s eastern plains—Kit Carson and Cheyenne Wel s—were wiped out, or apparently wiped out, because only a few bodies were ever found. Then there was another plane, this one from Texas. Then another, from New York City. “It’s hard to believe they could land a plane,” had been Mark’s comment at the time. But there were stil more planes; the dead had an impeccable safety record.

“I’m just as glad to see them go,” Mark said now. “Poking over that spastic kid like he was a two-headed calf. And stil no signs of their mysterious ‘zombie virus.’ “

“No one knows how it starts,” she said. “It could start anywhere. It could have dozens of different forms. Any vague gesture could be the first symptom.”

“They haven’t proven to me that it
is
a virus. No one real y knows.”

But Denver’s quarantine seemed to be working. No one got in or out. Al the roads closed, miles of perimeter patrol ed. And no zombie sightings at al after those first few at the airport.

The boy’s head drifted left and right as if in slow motion, as if weightless. “I missed the news this morning,” she said.

“You looked so beat, I thought it best you sleep.”

“I
need
to watch the news, Mark.” Anger had such a grip on her jaw that she could hardly move it.

“You and most everybody else in Denver.” She looked at him but said nothing. “Okay, I watched it for you. Just more of the same. A few distant shots of zombies in other states, looking like no more than derelicts prowling the cities, and the countryside, for food. Nothing much to tel you what they’d real y be like. God knows what the world outside this city is real y like anymore. I lost part of it—the reception just gets worse and worse.”

Elaine knew that everything he was saying was true. But she kept watching the screens just the same, the faces seeming to get a little fuzzier every day as reception got worse, the distant cable stations disappearing one by one until soon only local programming was available, and then even the quality of that diminishing as equipment began to deteriorate and ghosts and static proliferated. But stil she kept watching. Everybody she knew kept watching, desperate for any news outside of Denver.

And propped up in the window like a crazed TV announcer, young Tom’s head moved no no no.

At any moment she expected him to scream his denial: “No!” But no words ever passed the blurring lips. Just like al the other cases. No no no. Quiet heads that would suddenly explode into rhythmic, exaggerated denial. Their bodies fought it, held on to whatever was available so that muscles weren’t twisted or bones torqued out of their sockets.

His head moved side to side: no no no. His long blond hair whipped and flew. His dark pebble eyes were lost in a nimbus of hair, now blond, now seeming to whiten more and more the faster his head flew. His expressionless face went steadily out of focus, and after a moment she realized she couldn’t remember what he looked like, even though she had seen him several times a day every day since he had been admitted into the hospital.

What is he holding on to?
she wondered, the boy’s head now a cloud of mad insects, the movement having gone on impossibly long. His body vibrated within the broad window frame.

At any moment she expected the rhythmic head to levitate him, out the window and over the empty, early-morning street. His features blurred in and out: he had four eyes, he had six. Three mouths that gasped for air attempting to scream. He had become a vision. He had become an angel.

“It’s going to take more than a few skin grafts to fix that one,” Betty said, nervously rubbing the back of her neck. “My God, doesn’t he ever stop?” They were at the windows above surgery.

He’d been holding on to a hot radiator; it had required three aides to pul him off. Even anesthetized, the boy’s head shook so vigorously the surgeons had had to strap his neck into something like a large dog col ar. The surgeries would be exploratory, mostly, until they found something specific. It bothered Elaine. Tom was a human being. He had secrets. “Look at his eyes,” Elaine said. His eyes stared at her. As his face blurred in side-to-side movement, his eyes remained fixed on her. But that couldn’t be.

“I can’t see his eyes,” Betty said with sudden vehemence. “Jeezus, wil you look at him? They oughta do something with his brain while they’re at it. They oughta go in there and snip out whatever’s causin’ it.”

Elaine stared at the woman.
Snip it out. Where?
At one time they had been friends, or almost friends. Betty had wanted it, but Elaine just hadn’t been able to respond. It had always been a long time between friends for her. The edge of anger in Betty’s voice made her anxious. “They don’t know what’s causing it,” Elaine said softly.

“My mama don’t believe in ’em.” Betty turned and looked at Elaine with heavily-shadowed eyes, anemic-looking skin. “Zombies. Mama thinks the zombies are something the networks came up with. She says real people would never do disgustin’ things like they’re sayin’ the zombies do.”

Elaine found herself mesmerized by the lines in Betty’s face. She tried to fol ow each one, where they became deeper, trapping dried rivers of hastily applied makeup, where pads and applicators had bruised, then covered up the skin. Betty’s eyes blinked several times quickly in succession, the pupils bright and fixed like a dol ’s. “But then she always said we never landed on the moon, neither. Said they filmed al that out at Universal Studios.” Milky spittle had adhered to the inside corners of Betty’s mouth, which seemed unusual y heavy with lipstick today.

“Guess she could be right. Never read about zombies in the Bible, and you would think they’d be there if there was such a thing.” Betty rubbed her arm across her forehead. “Goodness, my skin’s so
dry
! I swear I’m flakin’ down to the
nub
!” A slight ripple of body odor moved across Elaine’s face. She could smel Betty’s deodorant, and under that, something slightly sour and slightly sweet at the same time.

That’s the way people’s secrets smel
, Elaine thought, and again wondered at herself for thinking such things.
People have more secrets than you could possibly imagine
. She wondered what secret things Betty was capable of, what Betty might do to a zombie if she had the opportunity, what Betty might do to Tom. “Tom’s not a zombie,” she said slowly, wanting to plant the idea firmly in Betty’s head. “There’s been no proof of a connection. No proof that he has a form of the virus, if there is a virus. No proof that he has a virus at al .”

“My mama never believed much in
coincidences
,” Betty said.

Elaine spent most of the night up in the ward with Tom and the other cases that had appeared: an elderly woman, a thirty-year-old retarded man, twin girls of thirteen who at times shook their heads in unison, a twenty-four-year-old hospital maintenance worker whose symptoms had started only a couple of days ago. As in every other place she’d worked, a TV set mounted high overhead murmured al evening. She couldn’t get the vertical to hold. The announcer’s head rol ed rapidly by, disappearing at the top of the screen and reappearing at the bottom. But as she watched she began thinking it was different heads, the announcer switching them at the rate of perhaps one per second. She wondered how he’d managed the trick. Then she wondered if al newscasters did that, switching through a multitude of heads so quickly it couldn’t be detected by the average viewer. She wanted to turn off the TV, but the doctors said it was best to leave it on for stimulation, even though their charges appeared completely unaware of it.

Dozens of heads shaking no no no. Heads in the windows. Heads exploding with denial. Heads like bombs.

Two more nurses had quit that day. At least they had cal ed; some had just stopped showing up.

Al the nurses were on double shifts now, with patient loads impossible to handle. Betty came in at six to help Elaine with feeding some of the head shakers.

“Now buckle the strap,” Elaine said. She had the “horse col ar,” a padded brace, around the old woman’s neck, her arms around the woman’s head to hold it stil . Betty fiddled with the straps.

“Damn!” Betty said. “I can’t get it to buckle!”

“Hurry! I can’t hold her head stil much longer.” Holding the head stil put undue pressure on other parts of the system. Elaine could hear the woman’s protesting stomach, and then both bladder and bowel were emptied.

“There!” Elaine let go and the old woman’s head shook in her col ar. Betty tried to spoon the food in. The woman’s body spasmed like a lizard nailed to a board. Sometimes they broke their own bones that way. Elaine held her breath. Even strapped down, the old woman’s face moved to an amazing degree. Like a latex mask attached loosely to the skul , her face slipped left and right, led by an agonized mouth apparently desperate to avoid the spoon. Elaine thought it disgusting, but it was better than any other method they’d tried. The head shakers choked on feeding tubes, pul ed out IVs, and getting a spoon into those rapidly moving mouths had been almost impossible.

“I know it’s your turn, but I’l go feed Tom,” Elaine said.

Betty glanced up from the vibrating head, a dribble of soft brown food high on her right cheek.

“Thanks, Elaine. I owe you.” She turned back, aiming the spoon of dripping food at the twisting head. “I don’t know. If I had to be like them… I don’t know. I think I’d rather be dead.”

Tom had always been the worst to feed. Elaine fixed a large plastic bib around his neck, then put one around her neck as wel . He stared at her. Even as the spasms pul ed his eyes rapidly past, she could see a little-boy softness in those adolescent eyes, an almost pleading vulnerability so at odds with the violent contortions his body made.

She moved the spoon in from the side, just out of his peripheral vision. But every time the metal touched the soft, pink flesh of the lips, the head jerked violently away. Again and again. And when some food final y did slip into the mouth cavity, he choked, his eyes became enormous, the whites swel ing in panic, and his mouth showered it back at her. It was as if his mouth despised the food, reviled the food, and could not stand to be anywhere near it. As if she were asking him to eat his own feces.

She looked down at the bowl of mushy food. Tom reached his hand in, clutched a wet mess of it, then tried to stuff it into his own mouth. The mouth twisted away. His hand did this again and again, and stil his mouth rejected it. Eventual y his hands, denied the use of the mouth, began smearing the food on his face, his neck, his chest, his legs, al over his body, pushing it into the skin and eventual y into every orifice available to receive it. He looked as if he had been swimming in garbage.