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The hours dragged on. Vi’s parents arrived a little while later needing

more comfort than she was able to give. Rising to the task, Vi tried her best

to quiet her mother’s piteous weeping, all the while thinking,
I need someone

to hold me. I need to cry. When will I have time to cry?

As that desperate plea swept through her mind, she silently wished that

everyone would leave.
Right now!
Just get out!

Just as quickly, she instantly felt ashamed for even thinking such unkind

thoughts. Vi ushered her mother to a nearby chair and went down on one

knee beside her just as the doorbell rang again. Steeling herself, she rose and

prepared to meet whoever it was. As she made her way to the door, Clayton

touched her elbow gently.

“Mrs. Simpson, I’ve got Tony on the line.”

Handing her the cordless phone, he kept his hand on her elbow, guiding Vi

a short distance away from the gaggle of people in the rest of the house.

Leading her down the hall, Clay ushered her into the kitchen. Once there, he

stood in the open doorway with his back to her, shielding her from prying

eyes in other parts of the house and simultaneously ensuring she had a

measure of privacy.

Gripping the phone tight, Vi spoke into the receiver, “Tony?”

“Mom, what’s going on? How come Clayton called me? Is everything

alright?”

“Tony, Sweetie, listen I have some very bad news to tell you.” She sensed

the alarm in his voice.

“What is it mom? Is somebody hurt? Did Janae get hurt?”

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Pausing to gather her courage, Vi quietly responded, “No, honey, .it’s not

Janae. It’s Craig.”

“Craig?” he asked in a whisper.

“Craig was shot today in a holdup and he’s dead, baby.”

“Dead? Oh, mom, dead? But, but he can’t be. He promised we’d go to

the Mets game next week.”

Several seconds passed before Vi called his name through the receiver. It

was hard for Tony to speak, and when he did, it came out cracked and high

pitched like it sounded a year ago when his voice was changing.

“Ah, mom.”

“I know, honey. I know.”

Vi heard him crying softly through the phone line. It broke her heart to

hear him crying and not be able to reach out and hold him. Taking a quick,

calming breath, Vi spoke to Tony quietly.

“Tony, listen honey, I need for you to come home right away. Put Mrs.

Washington on the phone so I can speak with her, okay?”

“Okay.”

Trying her best to be strong for him, Vi told Tony before hanging up,

“Honey, I’ll see you soon. I love you.”

Mrs. Washington came on the line, offered her condolences and promised

to have Tony home as soon as possible. Vi dried her eyes as she hung up the

phone and turned around to find Clayton still shielding her from the rest of

the room. He turned around quietly from where he’d been standing and

faced her.

“That was tough.”

“Yeah,” she acknowledged with a slight nod of her head.

“Do you want me to go and get him?”

“No, thank you Clayton, that won’t be necessary. The Washington’s

assured me he’d be home soon.”

“Okay, but really it would be no bother. I could leave now and get him for

you.”

Appreciation flooded her again and she walked over to him and touched his

forearm lightly. “I know you would and I really appreciate the offer, but

he’s not that far and they promised to leave right away. But, if you really

meant it earlier, I would truly appreciate you picking Janae up at the airport.

I don’t want to be gone when Tony gets home.”

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“I meant it. Don’t worry, I’ll be waiting for her as soon as her flight gets

in.”

She turned from him then and sat down in one of the kitchen chairs. Clayton

took the chair across from her. After a few seconds passed, he asked her,

“Can I get you something? Coffee? Food?”

“No, I couldn’t keep anything down, but you go ahead.”

“No, I couldn’t,” Just then, Cynthia came in the kitchen and quietly told Vi,

“Clarence is here.”

Vi didn’t realize she’d been waiting to hear that name, until it was spoken.

Clarence Simpson, her father-in-law, was the most beloved man she knew.

She walked down the hallway toward him. At seventy, Clarence was very

tall and fit for his age. Milk chocolate skin was stretched over his kind face

where life left its mark in wrinkles and spots, but the laugh lines around his

eyes and mouth revealed he’d found joy along with the pain life brought him.

His hair and beard had long since turned gray, but his eyes were still the

same warm brown they’d been since the first time she’d met him. Clarence

was solid as an anchor and gentle as a lamb. Meeting her halfway, he opened

his arms and enfolded Vi in his embrace.

“Vi, honey, I’m so sorry,” Clarence told her in his soothing, deep baritone

voice. She didn’t miss the grief written across his features or the unshed

tears in his eyes. “I know this hurts, but we can get through this Vi. We

done this before, you and I. God saw us through then and guess what, he’ll

see us through again dear.”

Consoling her parents earlier left Vi feeling drained, but now her spirits

lifted a fraction. Listening to Clarence’s comforting words was just what she

needed right now. If anyone knew what she was feeling right now, it was

Clarence. She thought about another day when the two of them had stood

just like this, grieving. That was the day she’d lost a husband and Clarence

had lost a son. She stood in his strong embrace, feeling closer to this man

than her own father, not at all surprised that his thoughts and feelings

mirrored her own.

The evening wore on and an endless number of people came and went,

bringing more casseroles and desserts. Expressing their condolences, two of

her neighbors met Vi at the door, handing her a covered dish. Vi accepted it,

thanked them and quickly made her way to the kitchen to put it with the

others. On her way to the kitchen, however, she passed the dining room

window and glimpsed Clayton standing in the front yard. She watched him

walk across the yard and turn off the sprinkler, which had sat forgotten in the

same spot, continuously saturating the same area all day long. As he bent to

pick up the hose, she saw him swipe a hand across his eyes. Vi made her

way to the front of the house and walked out onto the front porch. Sensing

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her presence, he turned to face her. Vi watched him methodically wind the

hose around his bent elbow and open palm.

“You didn’t have to bother with that,” she started to say.

He broke eye contact and responded quietly, “Yeah, I know. I didn’t have

anything better to do. Besides, it was getting pretty soggy over here.”

Not terribly concerned with the saturated ground near his feet, she continued

to watch him. He was obviously upset and doing a very good job of trying

to hide it. Vi closed the short distance between them.

“Clayton, why don’t you come back inside?”

“No, I’m fine, really,” he cut in quickly, not giving her a chance to finish.

“I’d better get going anyway if I want to get to the airport on time.” And just

like that, he dropped the hose in a neatly wrapped pile on the grass, strode

across the yard, got in his car and left.

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SIX

The pilot announced their pending arrival at Kennedy airport just as the

seatbelt lights came on. Trays were pushed up and books were quickly put

away as everyone buckled up and prepared for landing. Watching the

bright lights of the city below her, Janae wondered idly about her mother,

and how she was holding up. How was Tony? Were grandma and grandpa

alright?

The plane landed safely and everyone rose as the seatbelt light went off.

Moving down the aisle, Carol and Janae waited patiently as people reached

overhead to pull down their carry-on luggage. Since 9/11, only passengers

were allowed beyond the baggage area, so Janae wasn’t concerned that no

one was waiting at the gate as they got off the plane. Quickly making her

way through the airport, Janae assumed her family would be at the baggage

area. When she arrived there, she was totally surprised to see Clayton

Marshall standing at the Delta baggage turnstile.

“Clayton,” Janae cried, dropped her small carry-on bag and rushed toward

him.

He opened his arms and gathered her in a huge bear hug. Glad to see him,

Janae swayed slightly in his strong embrace, her toes lightly grazed the

carpet beneath her feet. Several moments passed as they held onto one

another, totally oblivious to the crowd of people rushing by, anxious to be on

their way. After a few moments, he placed his large hands on both of her

shoulders, setting Janae away from him. He stared down at her and it was

obvious she’d spent the entire flight crying.

“Are you okay?”

“I don’t know. I mean, I keep thinking this can’t be happening.”

Lowering her eyes, Janae trailed off, unable to finish her thought. Clayton

gathered her in his arms again and Janae clung to him, this time doubling her

arms around the back of his neck, as overwhelming grief washed over her.

Although this was the first time the two of them had ever really embraced, it

felt oddly familiar. Since her brother, Craig, and this man had become

roommates four years ago, she’d secretly dreamed of being in Clayton’s

arms, just like this. It crossed Janae’s mind now, how peculiar that it should

happen at a time like this. No one knew about the huge crush she’d

developed for Clay, except Janae’s best friend. Over a zillion times she’d

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thought about acting on her feelings for him, but something in the way Clay

treated her made Janae hesitate. Although he was a bit older—ten years to

be exact—Clayton had always treated Janae like a baby sister. Like Craig’s

baby sister.

She tightened her arms around his neck and lost herself in the moment,

completely forgetting where they were until someone brushed against her.

Immediately breaking the spell, she turned to see an elderly woman reach for

a suitcase as it moved slowly along the turnstile. Suddenly ashamed of

herself, Janae released her hold on Clayton and abruptly moved out of his

embrace. Remembering why he held her, Janae struggled to compose herself

and mentally push her personal feelings aside.

When they separated Clayton shook hands with Janae’s friend, Carol. He

helped them collect their luggage and carried all four bags with ease as they

made their way through the exit doors, walking briskly toward his car. Once

there, Clayton put the bags in the trunk, opened the rear door for Carol then

helped Janae into the front passenger seat.

No one said a word on the short ride from the airport. Carol sat quietly in

the back, while Janae stared out the passenger window, with puffy red eyes.

Clayton cleared his throat and opened the windows on his old beater. The

lack of air conditioning didn’t matter so much at this time of the day, as a

gentle breeze blew inside the car. He thought about how he and Craig spent

half the day last Saturday trying to fix the air conditioning in this very car.

After several hours, Clayton recalled telling Craig it didn’t make sense to

waste the rest of a perfectly good Saturday on this when his new truck would

be arriving soon.

The new truck!
With everything that went on today, he’d completely

forgotten about it. He’d been so hyped about picking it up earlier today,

and for weeks it was all he and Craig had talked about. They’d made plans

to rent a couple of dirt bikes, haul them in the back and drive across the

country on their next vacation. At a red light up ahead, Clayton quickly

checked his incoming calls and saw the dealer had tried to reach him four

times today. After everything that happened this afternoon, it would have to

wait. Picking up the new vehicle now seemed so insignificant.

Janae was deep in thought, hardly aware of traffic speeding by outside her

window. All through high school and even after she went off to college and

Craig moved away from home, she and her brother had remained close. She

always thought about the two of them married with kids of their own, those

kids would be close just like she and her brother had been. Now, for some

reason, she felt cheated because Craig would never get married or have kids.

Her kids would never play with his. Hot tears rolled down her cheeks, as