Borderland Bride (13 page)

“I think he cares not what happens to me.”

“You are wrong there, Izzy. He will come around in time and all will be well again.”

“I wish I had your optimism,” she said sullenly.

“There are days when I would like to walk into the nearest river and never walk out.”

“In truth?”

“Aye, ‘tis no easy task bearing the burden of so many lives depending on me. Were it not for my brother’s help I may well have done so long ago.”

“Aye, he is a good man.”

“That he is. So you see, he will forgive your deception, Izzy. Jake cannot see past lies and see them for what they are, an act of desperation. All he sees is the deceitful witch who near killed him.”

Dominic gritted his teeth at the memory and Isabel shuddered at the thought of him comparing her to his wife. Surely he did not think her so depraved? He knew her better than that, did he not?

“But I am naught like that woman!”

“I know that, lassie, as does he. Let his anger settle and he will remember in time.”

Isabel tilted her head and considered the man who had offered her sanctuary. “Dominic, you are wise beyond your years and even more kind-hearted. Would that I could find you a wife to appreciate you.”

Dominic sighed, a regretful expression settling on his face. “Ah, dear Izzy, would that I could find someone with your grace and strength. Alas, no woman shall ever measure up now.”

Isabel gave him a wry smile, well used to his teasing. “My lord, I fear that a woman like me could never tame your wandering eyes.”

“Ack, but you underestimate yourself, lassie,” he told her with a grin. “Well, I bid you good day. The men-at-arms are riled after our visitors and I must ensure the keep is secure. Have no fear; Jake will be back to his usual sullen self before long.”

She nodded, trying to draw comfort from Dominic’s words, but unable to. Isabel clutched her hands around herself. What if the damage she had done was irreparable? How could she make him see she was nothing like his wife?

The thought of seeing him again, and the hurt she had caused, sent a pang through her. She retreated to her chambers until suppertime. For all the good it did her. Her sheets still carried his scent, reminding her of those few blissful moments when she had held his heart.

~* * *~

Isabel didn’t see Jake for two days. He avoided her at all costs. She caught glances of him on the battlements or coming out of the armoury but he missed mealtimes and there was little she could say to him in front of all his men.

The next day she spied him striding across the moors and towards the hills - alone. Throwing on her mantle and snatching at her skirts, she hurried after him, pushing through the peasants that passed through the gates every morning.

She was out of breath by the time she made it to the top of the hill. Isabel scanned the scenery, her heart hollow. Her lips tingled as she remembered their first kiss. If she could only be back in his arms once more.

Jake stared at the horizon, refusing to acknowledge her presence, but Isabel saw his jaw clench. “What are you doing here?”

“I came to find you.”

He turned to her, his eyes hard and accusing. Her stomach flipped. Had she made a mistake in searching him out?

“You should not be here, Isabel, return to Thornewall where it’s safe.”

Isabel scowled. “We are not half a mile from Thornewall and I stayed in plain sight. You have no fear for your safety, why should I stay secluded away and fear for mine?”

“You should not be unaccompanied.”

“I wanted to speak with you…alone.”

He took a breath, his chest rising and falling with it. “Mayhap I have no wish to speak with you, Isabel. As I said, return to the keep, ‘tis dangerous here.”

Isabel gazed around at the barren scenery, taking in the vast expanse of empty moorland around her. “I see no danger.”

Jake’s eyes narrowed. “I meant from me.”

She tilted her chin. “You would not harm me.”

“There are ways of harming someone without using fists or weapons.”

Isabel fixed him with her eyes. She would not be frightened away. She could not leave things as they were. “You mean to harm with your words, mayhap? I am not afraid. Unleash your anger on me, Jake, for I will not be scared. “

“You should be,” Jake growled as he turned away from her, apparently intent on looking anywhere but her.

Isabel edged towards him. She went to lay a hand on his arm but he flinched and she fisted her hand at her side. She spoke softly, “Jake, pray forgive me. I was wrong to lie to you but do you not see why I did? I was running away and I feared that you would return me home should you find out the truth.”

He snorted. “You think me heartless, mayhap? Just as my wife did.”

“Nay! But I did not know you at first and then I…I feared your reaction should you know the truth. It was cowardly, but I couldn’t let my lie destroy what we had…”

“Aye, it was cowardly, and deceitful. I thought you so brave, so honest. I offered you my heart, Isabel, and even then you could not tell me the truth. You are no better than she.”

Her face flamed. “Do not cast me from the same cloth as your wife! I am naught like her. Your hurt and anger I can understand but I thought surely you of all people could see that. “

“Then mayhap we both misjudged each other.”

“Nay, I know you, Jake. Better than you know yourself. You are a good man, if you would only let your wife release her hold on you, you would see that.”

“Not good enough to secure your love. Even now you will not say as much.”

Isabel drew back, shaking her head. “I… Nay, you are wrong. But I will not say such words in anger.”

He stared at her coldly. “Your words would mean naught anyway. I could not trust them. Leave, Isabel, for you are sorely testing my temper and I would not unleash it on you.”

“Hell’s teeth, Jake, will you truly throw away everything over one lie?” Isabel’s body shook. Was he so determined not to trust her once more?

 “Not just one lie. Whatever stood between us you have cast in deceit. I cannot trust you.” Jake’s eyes darkened and he took a step towards Isabel, compelling her to shrink back

Forcing herself to still, Isabel drew her shoulders straight. “Very well. I will not remain to be insulted further.”

Jake gave a depreciative laugh. “See? You could not withstand my temper.”

“Nay, Jake, I could not withstand my own. However, I will not continue to beg. I have made my explanations and I can offer no more. If you will not release yourself from your own guilt then there is naught more I can do.”

“Guilt? I have naught to be guilty about!”

“I know that, Jake. It seems that you do not. I bid you good day, my lord.”

With that, she turned and stomped back down the hill. She bit back the tears that burnt in her throat. She had seen all she needed to know in his eyes. There would be no chance of salvaging their blossoming love now.

Chapter Eight

Jake couldn’t hold back his slight smile as he viewed his brother slumped over the table in his solar. The scarred oak had seen many important decisions made upon it by the Thornewall men but at present, it was Dominic’s head rested upon it. The candles had burnt down to stubs, great messy pools of wax surrounding them, and some parchment was just visible under his face. Ink stained his fingers and it was obvious he had fallen asleep whilst attending to business.

The bright mid-morning sun highlighted the weariness in his face and Jake wished he could do more to ease the burdens his brother gladly bore. As it was, he would have to leave. His lands needed attending and he could not stay. Not while she was here.

Isabel’s angry words had rattled him, shaking his firm belief in her wrongdoing. Aye, he had admitted he understood her need for secrecy, but it was her continuing lies that hurt the most. When he looked at her, all he was able to see was his wife.

Mayhap she was right, mayhap he was punishing himself. If he had been better husband, a better man, then his wife would never have felt the need to turn to another man and then she need never have died. But now, not only was he unable to see the woman he had loved beneath the lies, he also realised he was not good enough for her. His love had blinded him, making him believe that he could learn to be, but it was all clear to him. Jake would leave and, with that, he would leave his love for Isabel behind.

“Dominic,” he called quietly.

Dominic mumbled, his eyes firmly shut and emitted a growling snore.

Jake shook his head with a sigh and went to his brother’s side, giving his shoulder a rough shake.

He jumped up, coming awake unexpectedly, and moved as if to grab at his sword. Focusing on Jake, he grinned.

“Good morrow, Jake. Have you a reason why you should sneak up on me so?”

Jake frowned. “You were fast into your slumber. And I did not sneak. ‘Tis well past dawn and you have missed the morning meal already.”

“Ha, I was not sleeping. Just resting my eyes.”

Jake ignored his protests and pulled at a missive that was still adhered to Dominic’s arm. “You were working late,” he stated as he waved it at Dominic.

“Aye, my affairs have been neglected of late. Frankly, I blame Izzy. She is quite the distraction.”

Jake’s eyes narrowed, jealousy burning in his gut. It was not the first time his brother had alluded to the fact that he found her attractive and though he knew he had no reason to feel jealous, it did not stop the emotion from cloying in his heart.

“Have you need of aid? I need to be returning—”

Jake paused as a breathless James burst in through the door. He bent over as he recovered his breath. “My lords.”

“What is it, James?” Dominic asked him curtly.

“‘Tis Lord Henry. He has come for his daughter.”

Dominic snorted. “Mayhap he thinks we’ll change our minds. James, tell him the Lady Isabel remains with us.”

James straightened. “He brings at least a hundred men with him. He says he will lay siege to Thornewall if we do not return her.”

Jake cursed. He had expected this, but as days of peace had gone by, he had wondered if he was wrong. It looked as though Lord Henry had gone for more men.

“Let him,” Dominic stated confidently. “Thornewall is stronger than the might of many hundreds of men.”

If he could but share in his brother’s optimism. Aye, Thornewall’s stone was strong but it was not prepared for siege. They had not stockpiled supplies and many families lived within its walls. How could they ask them to endure the threat of death and starvation?

Moving over to the window, he could clearly see the gathering of men outside the curtain wall and though they were not complete, he recognised the makings of siege machines. If they managed to defeat Lord Henry, people would still get hurt.

Jake motioned to James. “Leave us for a moment. You will receive orders shortly.”

Dominic gave him a puzzled look as he watched James leave.

With the door safely shut, Jake turned to Dominic. “We cannot bring war to Thornewall.”

“So you would ask Isabel to return? To endure beatings and God only knows what?”

“Nay, of course not but, Dominic, people will get hurt.
Your
people will get hurt.”

“I am not entirely ignorant, Jake. I have fought wars before and am aware of the consequences. I would die to protect that woman. Or any other woman. My conscience would not allow me to do otherwise and I thought you the same.”

He was not wrong. Jake would gladly lay his life down for Isabel if he thought it would help. Nevertheless, just because he and his brother were willing to didn’t mean the people of Thornewall should have to do the same. They had witnessed enough horrors between the plague and the border reivers. They did not deserve further turmoil.

“You know I would.”

“Well, then, war it is.”

“There is another way…” Jake started cautiously. He had spent time thinking on what they should do if Lord Henry returned and he had concocted a plan. It turned his stomach to think of it and he had prayed it would not come to this, but it seemed they had little choice.

~* * *~

The coloured light that streamed in through the stained glass window pooled onto the stone step in front of the altar and Isabel stared as it danced over her pale skin as she knelt at the altar. She let out a slow breath, the chapel’s calming atmosphere working to soothe the turmoil that raged inside of her heart.

What was she to do? She could not remain in this half-life, pandered upon by people who owed her nothing. Without Jake, there seemed little point in remaining in Thornewall. Moreover, it seemed she would not regain his regard. Their heated argument had proved as much. He could not overcome his doubts and she could not live with him forever distrusting her. She lamented her lies, lamented the damage she had done, but she could not spend the rest of her days paying penitence for them.

Her original plan to head to Scotland and find work was beginning to gain appeal. It would be a far cry from the life of a noble woman, and it would certainly test her endurance, but it seemed easier than facing Jake day in day out. If she remained, she would always see him, even when he returned to his lands. His memory was engrained into every rock, every hill.

The tap of soft slippers on the stone floor drew her from her thoughts and she turned to see Winnie hurrying towards her. She stood abruptly as she noted the woman’s fearful expression.

“What is it, Winnie?”

“Oh, milady, yer father is returned.”

“Oh, God.” Why could he not just leave her be? Had she not suffered enough by his hand?

“He’s brought ‘alf of England with him. He says he’s will lay siege to the castle unless ye return with him.”

Isabel stared at the kindly woman, tracing the line of her round cheeks with fondness. She was going to miss Winnie. She was fast becoming like a mother to her.

“Have you seen the lords, Winnie?”

“Nay,” she puffed. “Lord Dominic was late to arise. James has gone to fetch them.”

So there was still time.

“Ye’ll not leave us will ye, milady?”