Born of Legend (36 page)

Given that fact …

“I thought this would make you happy.”

He was aghast. “That you legally filed us as married without asking me?”

“Well, kind of, yeah.”

Jullien laughed bitterly as he neared the bed again. “I'm not some stray dog you found on the street and took in, Shara. I'm a sentient being and still do have some semblance of pride. Believe it or not.”

“I know that.” She sat up and pulled her legs under her. “And before you come in here all pissy with me and yelling about this, you need to stop and remember that you're not the only one who goes a little nuts when it comes to the safety of the ones he loves. I've already buried one husband. I'm not about to stand aside and bury you because you're a fucking idiot, too. You ran off. I didn't know where you were. The HCs showed up demanding your head, and I panicked, knowing what would happen should they run your prints or DNA—which I didn't know if they had on file or not, given your earlier stupidity of ripping off someone's ear. And like you, I did what I had to to make sure you stayed safe and that they couldn't touch you. And at least I didn't put anyone in the hospital while protecting you, unlike someone I could name!”

Jullien backed up as he saw the pain in her eyes and heard the tremor in her voice. In his own fury and hurt, he hadn't thought about that.

Now he felt like a total prick for attacking her.

“I'm sorry, Shara. I'm not used to anyone protecting me. Only stabbing me in the leg so that I fall while they get away.” He brushed the pale hair back from her face as he sat down beside her on the bed. “I told you that I didn't want to separate you from your family and I'm afraid of how they'll react to this. What they'll do to you because of me. I mean, shit … is there anyone worse you could take home to them?”

“I know. But my family will get over it. They're not Anatoles. They will scream and yell about it, and pout. They might even shun me a bit. But after a few … decades they'll learn to love you as much as I do.”

He laughed at that as he fingered her delicate cheek and marveled at the screwed-up miracle that had brought them together. He couldn't decide if he was the luckiest bastard ever.

Or the most cursed to love her this much. Because in the back of his mind lived the terror that somehow his presence in her life would end it.

And knowing it was his fault would ruin him. He couldn't live with the guilt of knowing he'd caused her harm. It would be the one thing that would utterly destroy him.

“This is not how marriages are contracted.”

“I know,” she whispered. “But you don't have a matarra for mine to negotiate with.”

He brushed his thumb over her lips. “And your matriarch has already denounced me as unwanted rubbish.”

“True, but I'm a widow and a mother myself. So I claim autonomy to forge my own marriage.”

“With an Outcast.”

“You're a cock now. With prospects.” She smiled up at him and it knotted his gut. But more than that, it made him feel like he was finally worth something. “Both my brother and Trajen have offered to sponsor you. Honorary Tavali today. Full citizen in two years. I know you, Jules. You'll be a captain in no time. I have my own ship in storage that you can run. She's not much, but with your abilities, you can breathe new life into her and get her running again.”

He laughed bitterly. “You make it sound so easy.”

“What else do you have to do with your life?”

Closing his eyes, he ground his teeth.

Ushara scowled. That reaction terrified her. “Jules?”

He met her gaze, then took her hand and placed it over his heart. “An Ixurian and a Pavakahira. This is a recipe for absolute destruction.”

“I know. But you're a contentious asshole. Remember?”

He laughed. “I am that and I'm still angry at you.”

“Good,” she said, pulling her nightgown off, over her head. “I'm still mad at you, too.”

“Then why are you getting naked?”

She slowly began undoing his pants. “Because we can't consummate the marriage with our clothes on.”

Jullien's breath caught as she reached down to cup him. “Shara…”

“Hmmm?” She nipped at his chin with her fangs.

He struggled to remember his reasons against a marriage with her.

Or any thought at all.

But it was useless when she was in his arms. He had absolutely no will where she was concerned, especially when she licked and teased him like this. God … every part of his body felt like it was on fire. Sucking his breath in, he buried his hand in her hair and struggled with the intensity of emotions he could barely understand. The feral need to hold her and protect her.

He cupped her cheek and kissed her.

Ushara moaned at the passion of his kiss. She didn't know if it came from his stralen or something else, but no one had ever been like this with her. It was as if he lived solely to touch her skin.

Toeing his boots off, he pulled his shirt over his head while she pulled his pants down.

She laughed at his eagerness as he tripped on the pants and cursed. “You all right?”

He grunted in response. Then he was on the bed with her again, back in her arms.

The warmth of his skin sent chills through her that were heightened as he scraped his whiskers against her breasts. With a fierce growl, he pulled back. “Where are the condoms?”

“Consummation won't count if you use them.”

He froze to stare down at her. In fact, he was still for so long that she began to worry he'd gone catatonic.

“Jules?”

Finally, he blinked slowly. “I-I've never done that.”

“Why do you look so scared?”

His breathing ragged, he rolled over onto his back and stared up at the ceiling. “It's been beaten into me my whole life that I'm a hybrid. That…”

She waited for him to speak. When he didn't, she sat up and draped herself over his muscular chest. “What?”

Jullien swallowed hard before he spoke again. “I was pledged twice, Ushara.”

“You were tahrs. That would have been expected. So why didn't you marry them?”

He took a deep breath. “They killed themselves the day after the pledging ceremonies.”

“What?” she gasped. “Why?”

Pain darkened his eyes. “They said they'd rather be dead than bear my defective lineage.”

Bile rose in her throat over their cruelty. That would be harsh to say to any male. To say it to one who was of royal birth, who should have one day been the ruler of their empire, was unheard of. “Oh Jules … I'm so sorry.”

He swallowed hard. “And even though the companions were all on birth control, they were so afraid of accidentally conceiving a hybrid child from me that I had to agree to only sleep with them during the infertile days of their cycles and to make sure I was covered at all times and to spill nothing near them.”

No wonder he was so paranoid when they had sex.

“
Mi keramon—”

He placed his fingers gently over her lips to stop her protest. “It's okay, Shara. Having been unwanted by my own mother, I was glad for it. The last thing I want is to father a child on a female who can't bear to look upon its face. I don't want the first sound my child hears to be its own mother screaming in horror that she birthed it. A child should never hear its mother say the things I've heard my mother say about me.” He drew a ragged breath. “I don't think I can do this.”

Straddling his hips, she cupped his face in her hands and forced him to meet her gaze so that he could see the sincerity in her eyes. “Do you know what I see when I look at you, Jullien eton Anatole?”

“The discarded bastard of the family that murdered yours to extinction.”

She wrinkled her nose. “In the beginning, but I don't see that anymore. All I see now is the handsome face of my stralen husband. In my life, I've only allowed two males in my bed. The father of my son and
you
. No one else. I would never trust my son's safety to anyone not of my blood save you and Trajen. And I can think of no greater happiness than holding your son or daughter in my arms and watching it grow into an exact copy of
you
. And if the gods were to ever grant me such a blessing again, I promise you that the first sound your child would hear would be the cries of his or her mother's joy as I gladly welcomed our baby into this world.”

Jullien couldn't breathe as those words choked him. “I don't deserve your heart, Ushara. I damn sure don't deserve your love. But I swear to you that I will never betray you and I will spend the rest of my life doing everything I can to bring no shame or harm to you or what you love.”

“I love you, too.” She gently nibbled his lips as her taut nipples brushed against his chest.

Closing his eyes, Jullien couldn't imagine anything feeling better until she slowly impaled herself on him. The pleasure of being inside her uncovered was so intense that he shook from it and growled deep in his throat.

Ushara hesitated at the ferocious, primal sound as Jullien gently grabbed her hips and thrust against her. His eyes turned a deeper, darker red. He rose up in the bed to hold her close before he flipped and took control of their passion.

With the gentlest of caresses, he scraped his fangs along her throat as he quickened his strokes. Taking her hand into his, he kissed her palm, then held it to his heart as his breathing turned into an all-out seductive purr.

If she didn't know better …

“Jullien?”

He didn't speak as he came and when he did, he threw his head back and let out a burst of flames that lit up her entire bedroom.

Shocked, Jullien started to pull away, but Ushara held him close and refused to let him go. “Shh … finish. It's okay. I'm right here.”

Then she began a soft, old Andarion lullaby while she ran her hands over his back and through his hair until his body was completely drained and sated.

His breathing ragged, he lay on top of her trying to come to terms with what had just happened to him. And with the fact that he was something he'd never known. That his whole life and heritage had been a complete lie.

He
was
a Fyreblood Andarion.

So was Nykyrian.

“You okay?” Ushara asked.

Even though he knew the truth, he still had to double-check that he wasn't hallucinating. “Did I . .?”

“Yes.”

“Is it always like that?”

“No. That was your second set of lungs opening up to allow you to make fire. Is your throat burning?”

“Very much so. It's also really dry.”

She kissed his cheek. “Let me up. I can get you something for that.”

As he moved, he started coughing. Then he panicked, afraid he might belch fire again.

Ushara rubbed his back comfortingly. “It's okay. You won't spew fire accidentally, trust me. You'll always know by the way your breathing sounds. You can't make fire unless your second set of lungs is engaged.”

He laughed bitterly. “Andarion doctors said the extra lung chambers were a birth defect from being part human. No wonder I always had so much trouble breathing, especially whenever I ran. Human doctors tried to treat me for asthma and bronchial disorders. I used to get so dizzy at times, I could hardly walk.”

“It's why we preferred to live in higher elevations on Andaria. It was easier to breathe there.” She kissed his shoulder. “I'll be right back.” She got up and pulled on her bathrobe.

Jullien coughed again and struggled to catch his breath as he came to terms with all the lies he'd lived with for so long. About everything. He'd never had anyone he could trust or believe in.

Not even himself.

Until Ushara.

For the first time in his life, he had a home where he was wanted. A hand that touched him without scorning him, or hurting him. He now had something to lose.

Something they could take …

“Are you okay?”

He glanced up as she returned. “What?”

“You look terrified.”

“Panic attack.” He got up and started pacing the room as it hit him full force. Damn it.

He'd always hated when they struck. They'd started the day his grandmother had told him she'd killed his brother. Since then, they'd come and gone, always without warning. Sometimes he could go for long stretches between them, and then at others … it seemed like they'd strike back to back.

Suddenly, Ushara was in front of him. “Shh, breathe, baby. Just breathe. I've got you.” She pulled him into her arms and rocked him. Her breath fell against his neck while she teased his hair with her fingers and soothed him with her humming. “You're not on Andaria. You're not running. And you're not alone.”

“That's what scares me most. I need to make sure Vasili's okay.”

“I just checked on him. He's asleep in his room.”

“Are the doors locked?”

“Yes. It's all good, Jules. We're surrounded by my family. They all live within shouting distance.” She handed him the cup in her hand. “Now drink this. It's not poisoned or tampered with. There are no drugs in it. It's a honey tonic that will soothe your throat.” She took a sip of it first to show him.

Jullien drank it and let it soothe the rawness. “Thank you.”

“You're welcome. Tomorrow, I'll show you how to use and control the fire.”

“Okay, but can we keep this between us?”

“If you want.”

He nodded. “Thank you. I'm a big enough freak. Last thing I need is for anyone else to discover that my grandmother was an even more indiscriminate whore than my mother.”

Gasping, she arched a brow at his choice of words. “Should I be offended by that?”

“No.” He scowled at her, not understanding why she would take that personally. “Not at all. You're not the one who violated your marriage vows.”