Borrowed Dreams (Debbie Macomber Classics) (23 page)

A quick mental review of the week’s flight schedule reminded her that Brand had been flying some Seattle personnel to one of the Aleutian Islands that day. The flight was as regular as clockwork. Brand had taken the same route a thousand times. He hadn’t checked in before she’d left work, she remembered. But then she’d left a little early. She really didn’t have anything to worry about. If something had gone awry with Brand’s flight, George would have contacted her.

A long, body-stretching yawn convinced Carly to go back to bed. In the morning she’d make a point of seeking Brand out. Shawn and Sara were due to arrive the day after next, and she was hoping they could talk about that meeting.

*  *  *

Brand’s Chevy was parked by the warehouse when Carly arrived at work the following morning. A smile lit up her face at the reassuring sight. Everything was fine.

“Where’s Brand?” she asked her boss, as she breezed in the door. “I’d like to talk to him before he takes off.”

George looked up from the report he was scanning. “He hasn’t arrived yet.”

Carly shook her head and gave George a bemused grin. Sometimes her boss could be the most forgetful person. “Of course he’s here. His car’s parked out back.”

George glanced up and released an exaggerated sigh. “I tell you, he hasn’t come in this morning.” Glancing at the thick black watch on his wrist, George’s brows rose suspiciously. Brand wasn’t in the habit of arriving late.

“What time did he check in last night?” Carly questioned.

With deliberate care, George set the paper he was reading aside. “You tell me. I left early.”

Carly discovered that her legs would no longer support her, and she sank into the swivel chair at her desk. “I thought he was checking in with you. I assumed …”

“You mean Brand didn’t come back to the office yesterday?”

Carly felt her heart sink so low it seemed to land at her ankles. “You mean …” She couldn’t voice the thought.

“His car’s still here. He didn’t come back.” George finished for her. He stood and grabbed the clipboard that held the flight schedules down from the wall. “Don’t panic—everything’s going to be fine. There’s no cause for alarm.” The rising uneasiness in his own voice wasn’t reassuring. “I’ll contact the airport and confirm his flight plan.” George was out the door faster than she had seen him move in three months of working in Alaska.

Numbly, Carly sat. She couldn’t have moved to save the world. Constant recriminations pounded at her from all sides until she wanted to bury her head in her hands. This was her fault. If Brand was hurt, no one would ever be able to convince her otherwise. Again and again George had told her that Brand was an excellent pilot. The best. Alaska Freight Forwarding was fortunate to have him on their team. Hiring Brand had been a coup for George.

But even excellent pilots made mistakes. Anyone was more prone toward error when his mind was preoccupied—and heaven knew that Brand had lots on his mind. He was working hard, and if he was anything like Carly, he hadn’t been sleeping well. The combination of hard work and lack of sleep was enough to bring down the best pilots in the business.

When George returned forty-five minutes later, Carly knew her face was waxen. Her eyes searched his eagerly for information.

George cleared his throat, as if reluctant to speak. “There’ve been screwups everywhere, including the airport. They figure Brand has been missing close to fourteen hours.”

“No … no.” Carly felt as if someone had physically slammed a fist into her stomach. She didn’t say anything. The thoughts that flittered through her mind made no sense. She recalled that she had to go pick up some dry cleaning on her way home from work. Then she remembered that Diana had expected something horrible to happen once she’d decided to marry Barney. Happiness wasn’t meant for people like her. Nor was it meant for someone like Carly.

“Carly, are you okay?” George was giving her a funny look, and she wondered how long he’d been trying to gain her attention.

“Search-and-rescue teams are in the air. They’ll find him.”

Carly was confident they would, sooner or later. The question neither of them was voicing was in what condition Brand would be found: dead or alive.

The entire day was like a nightmare. Only Carly discovered that, no matter what she did,
she couldn’t wake up. The amount of manpower and man-hours that went into finding a missing or downed pilot was staggering. Reports were coming in to the office from the command center at Anchorage Airport continually. If that was encouraging, the news wasn’t. Brand hadn’t been sighted, and a thick fog was hampering the search.

At ten that night, George put his hand over Carly’s. “You might as well try to get a good night’s sleep. I’ll let you know the minute I hear anything.”

Carly’s answer was an abrupt shake of her head. “No. I won’t leave. Not until I know.”

George didn’t try to persuade her further. But she noticed that he didn’t leave. Both were determined to see this through, no matter what the outcome.

At some point during the long night, Carly fell asleep. With her head leaning against the wall, she’d meant to rest her eyes for only a few minutes, but the next thing she knew, it was light outside and the sun was over the horizon. Immediately, she straightened and sought out George, who shook his head grimly.

Two hours later, with her nerves stretched taut, Carly forced herself to eat something for the first time since breakfast the day before. She ran a comb through her dark hair and brushed her teeth.

George was staring into the empty coffee cup he was holding when she approached him.

“I don’t know when I’ll be back.”

He looked at her blankly. “Where are you going?”

“To the main terminal. Shawn and Sara are arriving in a half hour. I don’t want them to know Brand’s missing. If you hear anything, I’ll be at the house.” She let out a tired breath. “I’ll phone as often as I can.”

Squeezing her numb fingers, George offered Carly a smile and nodded.

It didn’t seem possible that a day could be so full of sunshine and happiness—and that Carly’s whole world could be dark with an unimaginable gloom.

As the Alaska Airlines flight with Shawn and Sara aboard touched down against the concrete runway, Carly felt an unreasonable surge of anger. Maybe Brand had planned this so she would be forced to deal with his children. If he’d wanted to find a way to punish her, he’d been highly successful.

As the flight attendant ushered Shawn and Sara out from the jetway, Carly straightened her shoulders and forced a smile. Her composure was eggshell fragile. She hadn’t yet figured out
what she was going to say to the children.

“Mom.” A brilliant smile lit Sara’s sky-blue eyes. She broke free from the young attendant and hurried toward Carly.

Scooting down, Carly was the wary recipient of a fierce hug from the little girl. Shawn was more restrained, but there was a happy light in his eyes she hadn’t noticed during her visit to Oregon.

“Where’s Dad?” Shawn was the first to notice that his father was missing.

Not quite meeting his inquisitive eyes, Carly managed a smile. “He told me to tell you how sorry he is that he couldn’t meet the two of you today. But he’s hoping you like the surprise he has waiting for you at the house.”

“Can we go there now?” Sara asked. Her blond hair had been plaited into long pigtails that danced with the action of her head. The doll Carly had given her was clutched under her arm.

“I’ll take you there now. Are you hungry?”

Both children bobbed their heads enthusiastically. Rather than find something to cook, Carly located a McDonald’s. Shawn and Sara were delighted with the fact that their first meal in Alaska was to be a hamburger and milkshake.

When they reached the house, Shawn helped Carly unload the suitcases from the back of the car. “Grandma sent you a long letter. She said it was instructions.”

“Then I should read it right away.”

“Don’t,” Shawn returned soberly. “You can, if you want,” he added, after a momentary lapse in conviction. “But you don’t have to do everything she says.”

“At least not the nap part. Right?” She gave him a conspiratorial wink.

“Right,” Shawn confirmed with a nod.

“Mom, Mom.” Sara rushed from her bedroom. “I’ve got a loose tooth. Look.” She started pushing one of her front teeth back and forth. “Does the Tooth Fairy live in Alaska, too?”

“You bet,” Carly answered, wiggling the tooth to satisfy Sara.

While Shawn and Sara investigated their new swing set, Carly unpacked their clothes. A quickly placed call to George confirmed that there hadn’t been any word. A glance out of the window revealed that both Shawn and Sara had discovered neighborhood children their age.

“This is Lisa.” Sara had brought her newfound friend into the house. “Can I show her my
bedroom?”

“Go ahead.”

Sara looked surprised, as though she’d expected Carly to refuse. “We won’t make a mess.”

“Good,” Carly said, with a short laugh. “I’d hate to think of you spending your first day in Alaska cleaning your room.”

“Sara’s never messy,” Shawn said, with a soft snicker. “At least, that’s what Grandma says.”

With a superior air, Sara led her friend down the hall to her bedroom. Lisa gave an appropriate sigh of appreciation at the beauty of the room, which immediately endeared her to Carly.

After the children had settled in, and Sara had taken a short nap, Carly drove them over to the apartment. Every night after work, she’d dreaded coming home. Now she understood the reason. She didn’t belong here.

While she packed her things, Carly thought through the sober facts that faced her. Reality said that Brand could be dead. Her heart throbbed painfully at the thought, but it was a fact she couldn’t ignore. If so, the question she had to deal with was what would happen to Shawn and Sara. Brand’s mother was traveling. Her long vacation was well deserved. Kay St. Clair had done her best for these children, but she’d more than earned a life of her own. The state could remand Shawn and Sara as they had Carly. She’d been five when she’d gone to her first foster home. Sara’s tender age.

Carly’s fist tightened at the ferocity of her emotion. No matter what it took, she wouldn’t allow that to happen. Not to Shawn and Sara. They would be hers, just as if she’d given them life. Nothing would separate the three of them. The path of her thoughts brought another realization. All these weeks that she’d battled within herself, she’d been fighting the even flow of her life’s rhythm.

It wasn’t that she couldn’t give Brand something he didn’t already have. It was what Brand, Shawn, and Sara could give her. Borrowed dreams were irrelevant. What they shared was new and vital. Brand had tried to tell her that in so many ways, and she hadn’t understood.

“Mom.” Sara stood in the open doorway, giving Carly a puzzled look. “I was talking to you.”

Holding out her arms, Carly gave the small child a loving squeeze. “I’m sorry. I was thinking.”

“Does thinking make you cry?”

Carly’s fingers investigated her own face, unaware that tears had formed. She wiped the moisture from her cheeks and tried to laugh, but the sound couldn’t be described as one of mirth. “Sometimes,” she said with a sniffle. “Hey, you know what I really need? A big hug.” Sweet Sara was eager to comply.

Both children wanted to listen to their favorite story once they returned to the house. Carly promised them a special dinner to go with the book. Somehow, she’d find a way to cook “green eggs and ham.” Luckily, neither child seemed to find it out of the ordinary to see Carly move her clothes from one house to another. At least, they didn’t mention it. But Carly wouldn’t be moving again. Her place was here.

The book was Shawn’s favorite Dr. Seuss story. The boy sat beside her while Sara occupied Carly’s lap. The thought slid through her mind as she opened the book that, although Shawn and Sara resembled their mother, they were amazingly like their father. The curious tilt of Shawn’s head was all Brand.

Carly was only a few pages into the book when a movement caught her attention. The front door was open and George stood just outside the closed screen.

A myriad of sensations assaulted Carly. Their eyes met and Carly’s clouded with emotion, begging him to tell her everything was all right. Tears blurred his expression. But in her heart she knew the news wasn’t good. If Brand had been found alive, George would have phoned.

“You weren’t here when I phoned,” George said. “But what I have has to be seen.”

Carly’s arms tightened around the children, drawing them protectively close to her. Again she confirmed the thought that nothing would separate Shawn and Sara from her.

The screen door opened and Carly braced herself.

“Dad.” Shawn flew off the love seat.

Carly jerked her head up to find Brand framed in the doorway. He scooped Shawn into his arms and reached down for Sara. Carly remained frozen.

“Mom said she didn’t know what time you’d be home.”

“Is that right?” Brand said, hugging his children close. “We’ll have to make sure Mom
knows from now on, won’t we?” His eyes sought Carly’s, bright with promise. “Isn’t that right, Mom?”

“Yes.” Carly nodded eagerly and walked into Brand’s embrace. “Oh, Brand, tell me, tell me what happened? I was worried sick … I thought I’d lost you forever.” She wept into his shoulder, knowing he probably couldn’t understand anything she was saying. It didn’t matter now that he was here. Not when he was holding her as if his very life depended on it. Later, when the children were in bed, he could fill in the details.

“Mom unpacked all the suitcases,” Sara said happily. “Even hers.”

Brand relaxed his hold so that he could lift Carly’s chin and brush the wet strands of hair from her face. “Are you staying?” The husky question was so low Carly could barely hear him.

“Hey, kids,” George said, clearing his throat. “Why don’t you two show me your bedrooms? And wasn’t that a swing set I saw outside?”

A grateful smile touched Carly’s lips as George led the children from the living room.

“I’m never leaving. Oh, Brand, I know it all sounds crazy, but I realize I belong with you. Shawn and Sara are
our
children.” She couldn’t hide the breathlessness in her voice. “Everything’s clear now.… I’m not borrowing anyone else’s dreams, but living my own.”