Boss Bitch Swag (21 page)

“Meesh, I know I don’t tell you this enough, baby.” He took his eyes off his ailing cousin and placed them lovingly on me. “I love you.”

“I love you
,
to
o
.” My eyes filled instantly with what felt like a million tears.

“I don’t know what I would do without you.” He gripped both of my arms in his big hands like he was never goin
g
to let them go.

“You’ll never have to find that out
,
” I promised my husband, cradling his achin
g
head in my trembling hands. “Baby, I swear you won’t.”

We stayed the entire night at the hospital. Boss didn’t want to leave Pee-Wee
,
and I wasn’t about to leave him. Mama had Malaysia
, so t
hat was one thing I didn’t have to stress about. I didn’t like bein
g
away from my daughter at night, but I did what I had to do to in order to support my husband and our family. Pee-Wee was a very important part of that family
, so w
hatever he needed
,
he would get.

The next few days were hectic. We took shifts at Pee-Wee’s bedside. One of us would go home to shower and change clothes while the other stayed and made sure nothing went wrong. The doctor told us that we should talk to Pee-Wee
,
so that’s exactly what we did. When Boss would leave to go home and change
,
I
’
d pull the chair up right beside his bed and read him freaky stories. I could have sworn that one day while I was readin
g
him “The Sex Chronicles” by Zane he moved his hand. From then on out
,
I gathered up every freaky story I could find and read to him constantly. He wasn’t the only one who got something out of it
;
Boss also grew to love freaky story time.

It was a long and difficult few weeks
,
but Pee-Wee finally opened his eyes. His docn>Iyes. Hitor examined him and told us that he would eventually make a full recovery. He was very weak. They
’
d loaded
him
up with painkillers, but it was obvious to me that he was still hurtin
g
. Boss
, though,
was too happy to notice. He didn’t normally show a lot of emotion, but that day was special
: t
hat day I got to watch my husband smile, laugh
,
and joke with the cousin he
’
d come so close to losin
g
. That day was special. I filed it away in my memory bank and vowed never to forget it.

Six days after Pee-Wee woke up
,
he was moved out of ICU and into a regular hospital room. I filled that room with beautiful flower bouquets and colorful balloon clusters. Boss brought him a brand new
i
Pod Touch
,
which I filled with every single 2-Pac song I could find
; h
e was Pee-Wee and Boss’ favorite rapper of all time. Some believe that music is therapy
, and t
hat must have had some truth to it because a few days later we were told we could take the big man home. I insisted that he come and stay with us
,
and I wasn’t takin
g
no for an answer.

I had one of the guest rooms all fixed up and ready for Pee-Wee’s arrival. He had a king
-
size bed, a 42’ plasma TV, a
B
lu-ray player with surround sound, his own phone line
,
and a private luxury bathroom with a very deep, very relaxing Jacuzzi tub. Boss even hired a private nurse to tend to his every need. I didn’t need to know what all that entailed, but I had my suspicions. In addition to the six trained guard dogs
,
Boss brought in five private security guards. I thought it was overkill, but I only saw what he let me. I knew his business was dangerous. I also knew that he worked hard to keep that danger away from me and from Malaysia. With Pee-Wee down
,
he would have to overcompensate. The guards didn’t bother me. As long as we were all safe
,
I was good.

Chapter 32

Malaysia’s first birthday came around so fast. My little baby was turnin
g
into a big girl right before my eyes. Boss and I decided to throw her a huge party at Chuck
-
E
-
Cheese to celebrate her special day
, and
Uncle Pee-Wee was even well enough to come. Mama was
also
there
,
along with my li
tt
l
e
brothers and Angie. The big surprise arrival of the day
, though,
was Boss’ sister Monique. I mailed her an invitation
,
even though Boss told me not to. She arrived with her three children
,
who didn’t know their uncle the same way Malaysia didn’t know her aunt. When Boss first saw his sister
,
he turned and looked at me like he wanted to whoop my ass. I didn’t care
;
I wanted our daughter to know her father’s side of the family. I also wanted my husband to reconnect with them so he could finally start to heal.

“Hi
,
Malcolm
,
” Monique spoke up first. “Thank
you for invitiMalu for in’ me.”

“I didn’t.” He was
as
cold as I
’
d ever seen him. “Meesh, what the fuck did I tell you?”

He was mad
,
and I understood where he was comin
g
from, but he also had to see my side of things. Our daughter had nothing to do with the mistakes he and his sisters made. I know it hurt him when Monique and Michelle turned their backs on him
; i
t hurt me
,
to
o,
and I wasn’t even around back then
. B
ut it was time to move on. He could take all of his anger out on me if that
’
s
what
he needed to do. I could handle it
; i
t wouldn’t break me.

“Hi
,
Monique.” I completely ignored my husband’s question. “I’m Meesha
,
Malcolm’s wife.” I politely introduced myself to my new sister
-
in
-
law.

“Nice to meet you
,
” Monique returned my politeness. “And thank
you so much for invitin’ me.”

“You’re welcome.”

I could feel Boss’s eyes burnin
g
through the back of my head. I knew he was pissed
; h
e always was when I did what he told me not to
-
but I didn’t care. I wasn’t his child and wasn’t doin
g
anything wrong. What was so bad about wanting us all to get along? People hurt each other every day
,
and they get over it. Nobody knew that better than me. Boss hurt me all the time. Every piece of hi
m
self he gave to another woman was a piece he was takin
g
from me. That killed me, but I got over it every single time.

“This is Patience.” Monique began introducing her children. “This is Fantasia.” She
then
took a deep breath for some reason, as if she knew that what she was about to say would change things in a major way. “And this li
’
l man right here is Malcolm.”

I was speechless. How could Boss not come around after hearin
g
that? I turned around just in time to see the look on his face. He was shocked that his sister
-
who he thought had forgotten all about her li
tt
l
e
brother
-
had
named her son after him. The years they lost didn't matter as much anymore.

“This is ya’ll uncle Malcolm
,
” Monique formally introduced the three little ones to her li
tt
l
e
brother
,
who wasn’t so li
tt
l
e
anymore.

“That’s my name
,
too
,
” Li
’
l Malcolm announced, so excited to tell everyone.

He even looked a lot like Boss. The li
tt
l
e
boy looked up at his namesokeat his ake
,
thrilled to have a male role model in his life. Boss knew what that was like. He never met his own father. Neither did I
,
and neither did Li
’
l Malcolm
; w
e all shared that painful bond. I watched with pride as the man I married took his li
tt
l
e
nephew over to the hoops, put in a few tokens
,
and began to rack up on tickets. I couldn’t take my eyes off the two of them. That was the day when I knew I was goin
g
to give Boss a son
...o
ur family wouldn’t be complete without him.

While the boys played
,
Monique and I sat down in a booth and got better acquainted. She kept a close eye on Patience and Fantasia the entire time. We had a lot in common
;
I didn’t go more than a few seconds without zeroin
g
in on Malaysia’s exact location. She was safe
, though,
in her uncle Pee-Wee’s arm
, and
h
e had her laughin
g
up a storm. I loved him for that. It wasn’t just the laughin
g
or the tossin
g
her in the air
; h
e loved her as if she were his own. That touched my heart
, and i
t seemed to touch Monique’s
,
to
o
. She watched her cousin and her niece with the biggest smile on her face. Her family was growin
g, and
I understood how good that felt.

The party lasted for almost five hours
, and e
verybody had a good time
-
especially Malaysia. She dug into her Sponge Bob birthday cake with her bare hands
,
then fed it to Boss. She loved Sponge Bob Square Pants
,
but she loved her
D
addy even more. I just sat back and enjoyed the show. I couldn’t hate on my baby for bein
g
a
D
addy’s
G
irl. Maybe if my own father had stuck around
,
I
’
d be a
D
addy’s
G
irl
,
too. I was so grateful that I had a man in my life that took care of his child. Most girls my age weren’t so lucky.

Pee-Wee had the entire party recorded on his digital camcorder. He wanted to remember every moment of that day. We all did. Watching Malaysia open her birthday presents was hilarious. She seemed to grow more excited with each one, but her absolute favorite was the pink Power Wheels ride-in Cadillac Escalade given to her by her uncle Pee-Wee. It was complete with two seats, chrome wheels
,
and personalized plates that read “May-May
.
” That’s what Pee-Wee called her. He was goin
g
to spoil that girl rotten
;
I could already see it coming. After one last song and dance with Mr. Chuck
-
E
-
Cheese himself
,
it was time to take little worn out May-May home. She fell asleep in her daddy’s arms on the way to the truck
, and
I walked behind the two of them with the biggest grin on my face. Malaysia was a lot like her mama
:
Daddy’s arms were always where I wanted to end my nights.