Botanicaust (45 page)

Waking cramped and cold, Tula shook her head to remember where she was
—
inside a tipped chest freezer. Outside her shelter, cloud-filtered light spilled into the rectangular pit with a drizzle of rain. Even the pale illumination hurt her eyes, pounding into the back of her skull. She stretched her legs and then realized the twins were gone.

“
Eily? Ana!!
”
She crawled into the rain.
“
Levi!
”
Had he survived the night? She rubbed her
temples,
unnerved she
’
d fallen so soundly asleep. Mercifully, the hallucinations had subsided, replaced by a dizzying headache.

Rustling shrubbery caught her attention and she turned to see Levi emerging through the straggly limbs.
“
Oh, Levi!
”

He hopped down to meet her.
“
Tula.
”
His embrace circled her with comfort and peace.

“
Where are the children?
”

He glanced around.
“
Not with you?
”

Panic filled her. She pulled out of his arms.
“
Ana! Eily!
”

More rustling from the other direction.
Both girls appeared, one after the other. They held a small lizard by the legs between them.

“
Food!
”
They chimed together, dropping the lifeless creature at Levi
’
s feet. Tula still couldn
’
t tell the girls apart.

“
Good!
”
Levi beamed at them and reached out to tousle the hair of the nearest girl.

“
We all made it.
”
Tula said, barely able to believe it.

Levi clasped her hand and then one of the girl
’
s. He nodded toward the second girl.
“
Take Eily
’
s hand.
”
The children complied, and Eily held Tula
’
s other hand to form a circle. Levi dropped his chin and began to pray.

The familiar cadence made Tula tense, fighting back memories. When he reached the final line, her lips formed the words without volition.
“
Forever and ever, Amen.
”
Shocked at herself, she jerked her hands away as if burned. Shivers tightened her skin as images pressed the edges of her awareness.
“
The Lord
’
s Prayer?
”

Levi stared at her and nodded.
“
Child of God.
”

He
’
d called her that before. He seemed happy when he said it. But she didn
’
t have his faith.
“
I do not believe in God.
”

Shaking his head, Levi frowned.
“
You don
’
t mean that.
”

Tula bit her lip. Levi needed his god. Was it such a bad thing to let him think she felt the same? She looked over the edge of the hole into the surrounding amarantox.
“
We need to move while sun shines.
”

Nightmares plagued Levi
’
s sleep the next three days; visions of dead red eyes, pools of blood, sounds of bone cracking. Last night, in the remains of an old prairie-stone outbuilding, he
’
d lain on his back next to Tula and searched for God. The warmth of her body against his side reminded him why he kept going. Tula had been moved by the Spirit to speak the Lord
’
s Prayer, and he should be thankful, but he felt immense guilt that he only prayed out of habit. Much as he wanted forgiveness, he could not bring himself to ask. True contrition required remorse, and he was glad Dr. Kaneka was dead.

They followed the river beneath a persistent bank of clouds. The twins ranged ahead and behind, always returning with items to eat. Tula improved. The jade tones of her skin returned to normal, smooth and flawless except for a film of travel dirt. Her feet pained her, and he
’
d offered her the sandals, but while they were almost too small for him, they were far too large for her. He spent one nearly sleepless night weaving cattail fronds into footwear for her and the girls. The fibers would not last long, but he
’
d make Tula new ones every night, if he had to.

He would do anything for her, and that scared him. He
’
d felt this way about Sarah, and giving her a child had killed her. Swallowing the lump of worry, he pushed aside some low branches and reminded himself that once they reached the Holdout, she
’
d be safe. No one in the Old Order would lift a hand against her or the twins.

But he and his new companions would always be shunned. He deserved to be. He was a murderer.

He thought of Samuel turning his back to him. The pitying glances of Beth and the other women. The cruel taunts of children before mothers chided them for their rudeness.

His far away thoughts missed a hole in the path in front of him and he stumbled. Tula linked an arm through his, keeping him upright.
“
Levi, you okay?
”

“
Fine.
”
He kept walking.

“
You seem not here.
”
She pointed to her temple.

“
I
’
m worried about going back.
”

She leaned her cheek against his bicep.
“
It
’
s giving you bad dreams.
”

He exhaled a shuddering breath. Of course, she noticed his restlessness.
“
I killed Dr. Kaneka.
”
The words came out like dust
—
dry and settling in even the most hidden places of his soul. He wanted to pull away, to let his confession carry him to heaven.

Tula hugged his arm tighter to her cheek.
“
Is it making you sad?
”

“
It
’
s a sin.
God
’
s Commandment.
‘
Thou Shalt Not Kill.
’“

Pulling her cheek away, she maintained her grip and looked up at him. Levi stared off across the bleak horizon ahead as she said,
“
It
’
s good he died. He hurt many people.
”

He looked down into her face. She really didn
’
t understand.
“
Killing people is a sin. Murder.
”

“
Murder is the word for killing people?
”
Although she had grasped his language better, many subtleties still eluded her.

He nodded.

She remained silent for a few steps as she thought.
“
It means to kill with
…
thinking first?
”

Frowning, he said,
“
Intent.
”

“
Intent. It means you want to do killing?
”

“
Yes.
”

“
Did you intent to kill?
”

Air refused to fill his lungs.
“
I don
’
t know.
”

“
What is the word for no intent?
”

“
Accident.
”
The word came out a whisper. Had it been an accident? He only wanted to stop Kaneka from harming Tula. But the man fell and died.

“
Accident!
”
She breathed the word as if remembering a flavor.
“
You didn
’
t murder. Murder is like
…
euthanization.
”
Against his arm, she trembled.
“
Dr. Kaneka was a bad man. Maybe your god wanted him to die. You did accident.
”

Was she suggesting he was a hand of God? The thought was tempting.
And prideful.
“
Then God have mercy on my soul.
”

It was the closest thing to forgiveness he could ask for.

Tula thought the Reservoir was the most amazing thing she
’
d ever seen, until they reached the dam where once-placid water tumbled thirty meters into a churned and muddy pool before roiling violently east. The roar of so much water deafened her, pounded the earth and vibrated through the soles of her feet. Even Levi seemed amazed as the four of them stood gaping.

Finally he broke away and pointed across the flat horizon.
“
Only another seven or eight days.
”

For five nights now, no helicopters had come. Still, none of them slept easy. Twice they
’
d come across cold fire-pits where someone had obviously camped not too long ago. Tula saw no evidence of human bones, but she had no doubts these were cannibal camps.

They moved on quickly, finding shelter where they could. The rain had stopped, and the air turned cooler with a constant breeze pushing the seed-laden amarantox low to the ground. Behind them, the white caps of the mountains gleamed like wicked teeth.

Levi told her about his people as they walked. Electric fences to keep out cannibals, miles of fields plowed by methane-powered equipment, houses built of brick and stone. His stories were so
vivid,
she felt she
’
d been there.

He outlined plans to build a greenhouse, so she and the girls could still get sunlight. And he talked about clothing.
So much about clothing, and how she would have to become used to covering much of her body for modesty.
She didn
’
t mind covering herself, but less sunlight left her hungry.

Today, much to Levi
’
s consternation, she lowered the robe around her waist to expose her back and breasts to the warm morning rays, indulging herself in the wash of chemicals on the first sunny day since leaving the mountain.
“
There
’
s no one around to see me, Levi. And you
’
ve done more than look.
”
She teased him, enjoying the flush rising into his golden cheeks.
“
Plus, I can share,
”
she added, lifting her chin for a kiss.

He leaned down to humor her just as one of the twins scampered up and thrust a scorpion between them. Tula recoiled. Out in the brush, the other twin
’
s voice rose on the wind like a warning siren. A prickle of sweat coalesced to run down Tula
’
s naked side. Ignoring the scorpion, she peered into the morning shadows in search of the missing twin.