BOUGHT: A Standalone Romance (12 page)

I nod. “Oh, I almost forgot,” I say suddenly. “I was coming over to ask if I could crash with you until I find a new place. I need some space for now.”

“You know you can always stay here,” she says as she stands up to stretch. “Besides, I could really use the company. I’m a little tired of clubs and parties.”

I raise an eyebrow at her. “Are you trying to tell me that you’re thinking about settling down? You?”

Zoey shrugs. “You have to eventually. What’s the point of living your whole life only for you? Besides, I’m beginning to think I’m at the age where I’d like to have a child soon.”

My eyes grow wide. “How long have you been thinking about this?”

She looks sheepish. “A while now. A couple of months at least.”

“And you didn’t tell me?” I throw a pillow at her. “What kind of best friend are you?”

“You’ve been so busy! I didn’t want to add more on top of your growing list of crazy.” She yawns. “I’m going to go to bed. We’ll catch up in the morning.”

“Darla’s for brunch?”

“You read my mind. Good night.”

I watch her disappear into her bedroom before I curl up on the couch. Flipping on the TV, I pull a blanket up over me. Warm, sleepy, and emotionally exhausted, I’m ready to go to bed, when my phone starts to ring again. I check it.

Connor.

Everything can wait until tomorrow, I determine. First, I need some time to myself. Then maybe I’ll be able to sort out my thoughts and not be so confused.

Darla’s is a popular stop for us. Since I met Zoey, we’ve tried to meet there at least once a week. The food is amazing, the staff friendly, and the atmosphere cozy. Everything is decorated in soft pink and white. The smell of fresh pink roses is pleasant.

Once we order our food, Zoey pushes her fingers through her hair. “Hey, I know a few places, if you need help apartment hunting.”

“What is happening with you? You’re supposed to be my dirty-minded, foul-mouthed friend.”

“Oh, I still am!” Zoey says with a laugh. “If you knew half of the things I did last week… Don’t give me that look! I told you, I’m trying to be more mature now. Besides, you’ve been so distant, I didn’t think it was a good time to make dirty jokes.”

“It’s never a bad time to make dirty jokes.”

Zoey sighs, a smile on her face. “That’s why I love you.”

When our food arrives, we both bite our lips in anticipation. Zoey always goes for pancakes with fruit, scrambled eggs, and bacon. I prefer French toast and bacon. The smell of vanilla rising from the French toast seems to comfort me. But food has always had a way of doing that.

Zoey cuts into her pancakes. I watch her eyes practically roll up into her head as she sighs. After she’s taken a few more bites, she finally seems to regain the ability to talk.

“Are you going to talk to Connor today?”

I shrug. “I mean, if I want to get paid I guess I have to, but it’s not exactly an appetizing thought. I don’t care what his problems are; he shouldn’t have touched me like that. Or talked to me like that. I’m sick of it.”

She nods. “I definitely get it, and you’re right. All I’m saying is, give him a chance.”

“I gave Nathan a chance. I gave Nathan a
lot
of chances.”

“Connor isn’t like that. He has a short temper and can be a jerk, but you know he’d never actually hurt you. Right?”

I sigh. “I don’t know anymore.”

“Well, either way, just do what’s right for you, I guess. I just thought there was really something there between you two.”

Me and you both, I want to say. Instead, I give her a small smile before I eat the rest of my food in record time. After I drink down my orange juice, I check my phone.

“Speaking of Connor, he’s not far from here with the rest of my money. I guess I should go meet up with him. I’ll see you later?” I reach for my wallet, but Zoey shakes her head.

“I got this one. See you at my place.”

I text Connor back, and twenty minutes later I’m sitting on a bench in the park. The fall air is really starting to set in, and I wish that I’d brought along a jacket. Rubbing my hands together, I blow on them before I spot Connor.

He’s walking across the park, his tall frame covered in a jacket. Stubble is on his jaw, just like the first time we met. This time, however, there’s no smile on his face, only worry, exhaustion. The Connor I had gotten to know has been replaced with this man who looks as if he hasn’t slept in a month.

“Thanks for meeting with—”

“I’m not here to chat. I’m just here to collect my money and go.”

Connor frowns. “So that’s it? I don’t even get to try to fix things?”

“What is there to fix?” Why am I yelling? I can’t seem to bring my voice down. “We are nothing. And, as you’ve made abundantly clear, I’m a whore. So please, give me my money so I can go.”

Connor reaches into his pocket and pulls out an envelope. I open it to see that it’s a check, but not for what we had originally discussed. The amount of zeros seems to be off.

“What’s this?”

“It’s your payment,” he says curtly.

“You know what I mean. Why is it so much?”

“It’s a bonus.”

I narrow my eyes at him. “Why are you doing this? Why are you trying to be nice?”

“Jesus, Angela! Everything I do, you think is some kind of plot. Do you really think I have time to sit around scheming all day and night? Just take the damn money!”

“Fine,” I say as I shove the envelope into my purse.

As I walk past him, he places a hand on my shoulder. I don’t know why, but I stop. The warmth of his hand on my body is enough to bring on fond memories. I feel the familiar thumping of my heart.

“Is that it? I’m never going to see you again?”

My voice seems caught in my throat. “I don’t know. I need some time to think.”

“You can’t deny it, there’s something between us…” Connor stops. It seems as though something is stuck in his throat too.

Some part of me wants nothing more than to forgive him, to wrap my arms around him and forget anything ever happened. Another part of me remembers what it’s like to keep putting faith in someone who will only continue to hurt me. Slowly, I pull away from him. Glancing over my shoulder, I see he’s staring at me intently.

“I need time to think.”

I walk away as quickly as I can. If I stay, I’ll be too tempted by the sadness that I see in his eyes. Right now, that’s the last thing I need.

Instead of walking to the street, I push farther into the park. I can’t be around people right now; I need the comfort of peace and quiet. As I walk, I make a mental note to pick up my things from Connor’s as soon as possible. No temptation.

Picking my way along the paths, I finally find one of my favorite spots. A little bench, badly in need of repair, sits in front of a lake. Ducks putter around it and splash in the water. Sunlight reflects from the surface, making it shimmer.

At times like these, I wish that I could talk to my mother. What are you supposed to do when you have no guidance? I love Zoey, but I’m not prepared to forgive him just yet. I push the thought of Connor away. There are so many things to worry about. It’s best not to dwell on that.

I sit for a while until I can’t take the chill settling in. Pushing myself up, I head back the way that I came. As I move through the trees, I hear something rustle. Pausing, I glance around me. There’s nothing there, but I still feel like I’m being watched. Shivering, but not from the chill, I move a little faster.

Up ahead, I can see a break in the trees. Sunlight is streaming through, beckoning me. I can even hear the sound of cars driving past, the sound of someone laughing far away. I know it’s just my paranoia. I almost laugh at myself.

“There’s no one there. You’re being silly and need more sleep.”

Sighing with relief, I pause as I reach the entrance to the trees. A hand curls around my upper arm, yanks me back. It takes all of my strength to keep from falling to the ground. I glance up, and a wave of sick, hot panic washes over me.

“Let go of me!”

“I just want to talk.”

Blond hair. Gunmetal blue eyes. A straight, set mouth. My nightmare in the flesh once again.

“Nathan.” I choke up. “I’m warning you…”

Nathan gives an exasperated sigh. “I just want to talk to you, I swear. I’m not going to hurt you.”

I scoff. “I have a hard time believing that. Why don’t you just leave me the hell alone? Haven’t you done enough?”

Nathan grits his teeth. “I’m not here to bother you, and I’m trying very hard not to lose my temper, but I have a right to be here.”

“What makes you think that?”

“My son is here. I want to meet him.”

My heart leaps into my throat. How does he know about Kyle? I’d told him early on that I lost the baby. I didn’t want Nathan to have any part of our lives. Who could have possibly told him? I try to play it cool, even though my heart is racing, my hands trembling.

“What are you talking about?”

“Our son. You know what I’m talking about.”

“Are you talking about years ago? Nathan, I lost the baby, because of you.”

“Bullshit! I know you didn’t, and I’m going to get to see him.”

“No, you’re not. I don’t care what I have to do. You’re never getting anywhere near my son.”

That seems to be the tipping point for Nathan. He reaches out to grab me, but I’m ready. I move out of his way before I dart around him through the opening in the trees. I don’t stop, don’t look back as I run.

“Why won’t you listen to me?” I ask angrily.

The officer behind the desk practically rolls his eyes at me. “Ma’am, as I keep trying to explain to you, I’ve done all that I can. He hasn’t hurt you. He isn’t breaking into your home. I can’t stop him from walking around the streets.”

“He’s threatening me! He won’t leave my child alone!”

“You said it’s his child too. This is a matter for the family courts. I’m going to have to ask you to take it there. Get a lawyer.”

I’m seething, my fists balled up tightly. They aren’t going to help me; no one is going to help me. For a moment, I seriously want to tell the officer exactly how he can go fuck himself, but the thought of being in a locked room is enough to wipe the thought from my mind swiftly and effectively.  I turn on my heel, storming away before my mouth can get me in trouble.

“Idiots!”  I mumble.

Nathan is back, and he’s the same as always. Following me, cornering me when I’m all alone. My heart races out of control. I can feel the anxiety choking me as I stumble forward. This can’t be happening again.

Zoey is the first person who comes to my mind, but I remember that she’s at work. Normally, I wouldn’t care and I’d ring her at the office, but I remember that she’s in an important meeting all day. There won’t be a way to reach her.

Connor comes into my mind next. No. I’m not speaking to Connor right now. He needs to get his life together, and I need to break the toxic addiction to him I seem to be forming. Who is there left to call?

Not for the first time, I wish my life were normal. If it were, I’d have a mom and dad to talk to, to cheer me on through all of my mishaps. Hell, if I had a normal life I wouldn’t be dealing with a deranged psycho and a temperamental drunk.

Danger seems to be attracted to my very existence. Ever since I was young, I’ve been the one to fall out of a tree. I was the one who broke her arm. I was the one who fell in love too fast and too severely, with the type of men who seemed determined to break my heart.

My vision begins to swim as I try to concentrate on walking. I sniffle, choke. Tears well up in me until there’s no going back, no stopping them. Wet, hot tears, coursing down my cheeks, breaking up my vision of the world around me into fractured images. It’s happening again.

All of those years ago, I’d created façades. I was Kathy, the practical one. Dolly, the sweet one who always had to rely on someone. Angela, the fierce seductress who needed no one. Not for years have I felt like exactly who I’ve always been: Katie, the one who tries to hide it all.

“Stop it,” I mumble to myself, drawing the attention of a businessman in a too-tight suit. He hurries away, lowering his head and clutching his briefcase a little tighter. “Stop it. You’re better than this. You can’t let it all fall apart.”

It’s too late for that, though; it is all falling apart. The world I had so carefully crafted is ending, going down in a fiery blaze of the unknown that scares me shitless. I’ve always known what life is: sheltered, hard, easy, sleazy. There have always been stages to my personality and the challenges around me, but now I’m in uncharted territory. It isn’t a good feeling.

To top it all off, I have nowhere to go. I’ve given up my loft, since I’m running from Nathan and had opted to move in with Connor, but that had been a mistake. He doesn’t know how to keep his foot out of his mouth, doesn’t know how to respect me for who I am. It’s enough to remind me of Nathan, of the ways he tore me down until I felt like less than nothing.

I am never going to allow that to happen again. I have a son to look after now, and even though Mary is supposed to be leaving, I have a plan to ask her to stay as well. She’s been his mother from the time he was born, and I need all of the help I can get. I stop, reach into my bag, and find a small pack of tissues. Rubbing my eyes dry, I have no doubt that the makeup I was wearing is probably smudged over my skin.

Where was my car? I wander a bit more before I find it. There’s a sheet of lined paper sticking out from underneath one of my windshield wipers. Snatching it out, I crumple it in my hand before sliding inside. Either it’s from Nathan, or Connor, and I don’t think of Connor as the type to stick pieces of paper beneath the window wipers.

Nathan.

I want to push him as far out of my mind and life as humanly possible, but for some reason he keeps coming back. Nathan is a disease. The more I try to get rid of him, the more he digs his way back in. I toss the ball of paper onto the seat beside me.

There is no way I’m going to open that note, not now. I can’t afford to be vulnerable right now, and I definitely can’t afford to break down right now. Checking my eyes in the mirror, I clean my face up as best I can before I turn the car on.                                                          .

First things first: I need to deposit the considerable check in my purse in the bank. All I need to really polish off the day is for my money to be stolen. That money is going to get Kyle and me a nice place to live, with a cute little attachment for Mary so she can have some privacy. The city is looking less and less appetizing; I’m ready to find a cute little house in the suburbs.

Never thought I would be thinking things like that.
Then again, the only things I’ve been thinking of the last few years have been paying the rent, sending money for Kyle, and keeping my head down. It hasn’t done any good anyway, and I’m running out of my twenties faster and faster, it seems.

I pull into the bank’s parking lot, happy for once that it’s bustling with people. More people means more coverage, more security. I step out of the car, careful to make sure it’s locked up tightly before I head inside.

Normally, if I’m not having such a bad day, depositing my checks and cash is my favorite part of the day. The way the banker’s eyes go round holds a certain satisfaction to it. I grew up in a small town, never had much to my name. Now, it’s different. Or at least it had been.

After helping Connor with his little scheme to help his parents, I decided that I didn’t want to be an escort anymore. I couldn’t have a happy home that way, not constantly worrying whether someone in my child’s life would find out what I do or if it would bring danger back to our doorstep. Having to think about a child is a new experience, but I’m improving. Or at least I hope I am.

The blonde with a pinched face slides me my receipt. I pocket it before stepping back outside. Looking both ways, I make my way to the car only when I’m sure that Nathan is nowhere sneaking around. The old paranoia has made its way back to sit firmly in my chest. Great.

I pull out my phone before I pull up what I’ve been researching. There are houses that are both beautiful and inexpensive enough I wouldn’t have to pay them off forever. I want something manageable, something affordable in case things go south while I’m searching for a job.

As I pull back out into traffic, that thought sticks in my mind. What if I’m not good at anything else? The last time I held a “real” job I was sixteen years old, working as a part-time bag girl at the grocery store. My resume can be summed up in just a couple words: “cashier” and “classified.”

I almost jump out of my skin when my phone begins to ring. Fumbling for it, I see that it’s Mary. She and Kyle are back at the hotel, safe and sound. I told them to stay put until I pick them up, but with all of the excitement, I forgot.

So much for being a good mom.
I exit the freeway and head back in the opposite direction. When I’m on course for their hotel, I dial Mary back.

“I’m so sorry! It’s been a crazy day.”

Mary chuckles, but is cut short with a deep, raspy cough. “Don’t be sorry. We’re just fine. It turns out that I was a little tired anyway, so I took a nap.”

“I’m glad I didn’t screw up too badly,” I say, feeling relief flood my body. “I’m on my way to pick you two up now.”

“I’ll wake Kyle out of his videogame-induced coma,” she says, laughing. “That boy and his technology.”

“Hey, Mary,” I call before she can hang up. “Did you think about what I said last night?”

There’s silence on the other line. I asked Mary to move in with Kyle and me. She was only supposed to be in town to drop him off and help him get adjusted to living with me, and then she was going to leave Kyle with me. Mary’s mother had never accepted the fact that Kyle was adopted, and he isn’t welcome in her home while she’s going to be taking care of Mary. The silence on the other end finally breaks.

“We’ll talk about it when you get here. Just park the car and I’ll come down by myself.”

I nod. “Okay. See you in fifteen minutes.”

That doesn’t sound very promising. I’m not just asking Mary to stay because I don’t want to be left alone with a child when I’ve had not a drop of prior training. No, I have come to like Mary since she’s been here. She’s what a mother is supposed to be. On top of that, Kyle adores her. I don’t want him to think that I’m ripping her away from him or trying to fill her place. Most of all, I want them both to be happy.

I pull up in front of the hotel and call Mary. Stepping out of the car, I smoke a cigarette quickly so she won’t have to be around the smoke when she comes down. Having lung cancer had taken its toll on Mary, and she’s toting around an oxygen tank more and more. Still, she has a smile on her face as she walks to the car.

When I first saw Mary recently, she was sick and frail. Nothing like the fashionable, exuberant woman that I’d chosen to adopt my son. The medicine is doing a number on her, but I’ve always thought it’s more than that. She lost her husband, and the stress of trying to support both herself and Kyle while dealing with her mother must have been a nightmare. In the last few weeks, though, she has begun to flourish. Her hair is pinned into a neat bun, she’s dabbed on a little makeup, and the yellow sundress she wears moves delicately around her legs. I quickly snub the cigarette out under my toe before blowing the smoke in the opposite direction.

“You look amazing,” I say with a smile.

Mary blushes. “Well, we’re going out. I figured I’d dress up a little.”

She slips inside of the car, leaving the tank outside so she doesn’t have to wrestle it into my small car. I do the same, enjoying the warm arm and the sun. Sighing, she turns to me. My throat is tight. Of course I want to hear what she has to say, but I’m nervous too.

“I don’t know if I can stay here,” she says finally.

“Why not?”

Mary shakes her head. “I’m going to die. I don’t want Kyle around when I do. That will hit him so hard, and I’m afraid that he’d never recover from it.”

It’s my turn to shake my head. “Kyle is strong, really strong. What do you think is going to happen when you just disappear? How is he going to feel when he gets older and knows that he never went to your funeral or got to spend your last moments together? Please, I’m not just asking for me. Kyle deserves better, from both of us.”

Mary is tearing up. I reach into my purse and hand her a tissue. Silent, I give her a moment to collect herself.

“I’m scared,” she finally whispers.

I chuckle. “I am too.”

We sit outside for a while longer discussing the arrangements that will have to be made. In the end, though, I convince her that staying in California is best. By the time we have hashed everything out, we’re both looking relieved. Her phone rings.

“Oh, yes. Just lock up and come downstairs so we can go, honey.”

“Wait!” I yell a little too loudly, scaring Mary. “Sorry. It’s just that I’ll go up and get him. You can never be too careful.”

Mary looks me up and down. I haven’t told her about seeing Nathan up close yet; I haven’t wanted her to worry. I know it’s a conversation that needs to happen soon, but now is not the time for it. She turns back to her phone.

“Angela’s coming up to get you. Hang tight.”

I step out of the car, closing the door before I help get the oxygen tank in the car. When I go into the hotel, I peek around every corner before I jog up the stairs to the correct floor. Knocking on the door, I can hear the sounds of simulated sirens and gunshots through the door. After knocking several more times, Kyle comes to the door.

“Sorry, I couldn’t hear you,” he says, looking at me sheepishly.

I laugh. “I figured as much. Come on, your mom’s downstairs waiting.”

“Where are we going?” he asks as he closes the door and follows behind me.

“House hunting. I know you have to be sick of this hotel by now.”

Kyle nods. “Yeah, I could go for my own room.”

I laugh as we ride the elevator down to the first floor. We step out, and I glance around the room nervously. Once I’m sure the coast is clear, we move outside to the car. Mary smiles at us from the front seat.

“All set?” I ask, glancing up into the rearview mirror at Kyle.

“Yep,” he calls back before he’s immersed in his game again.

I nod as I pull out of the parking lot to join the thickening traffic again. Feeling a bit lighter than I was feeling before, I’m excited. Knowing that Mary will stay with us helps me relax considerably. I’ll have a teammate, someone to help me navigate the treacherous waters of being a mom.

We traverse all over town looking at houses, imagining where we would put our beds, furniture, and decorations, and what we’d do with the extra space. Kyle wants a basketball hoop so he can practice. Mary just wants a shady spot to garden. I want a big bedroom with an attached bathroom. After all, I’m never more at home than I am in the bathtub with a glass of wine and a good book.