Bought (12 page)

Don’t treat me like a person, damn it,
I wanted to shout.
You are nothing but a means to an end for me. Don’t act as if I matter. Don’t pretend you care. Don’t make this harder than it has to be.

Ellie / Jenny:

I had about an hour to myself once Mrs. Suramongkol and the jeweller had departed. Alexander was nowhere to be seen. I contemplated going out for a walk but decided I didn’t know if it violated his rules. I didn’t know if I was supposed to sit in his hotel room and wait for him. It would have been what Dylan would have expected. And my time with Dylan was the only blueprint I had to guide me in this situation.

But about fifteen minutes after the jeweller had left, the new phone that Alexander had given me buzzed. I picked it up. “Jenny, this is Alexander,” he said. “I just wanted to let you know I’m probably going to be a little bit longer. I’m sorry. If you want to go out, there’s a car downstairs that’ll take you around.”

“Okay.” I hesitated and plunged forward. “Should I wait for you to eat lunch?”

“Fuck.” He swore into the phone. “Sorry,
cherie
. I forgot about food. There are a couple of restaurants in the hotel. Put it on the room tab.”

Evidently, part of being my ridiculously wealthy Dominant was paying for every meal. I should have been used to it. Slaves didn’t think about money and during my training period with Lucien, I’d been paid a stipend while I focused on my revenge. Lucien was rich but we’d agreed quickly that it wasn’t healthy if I had to run to him for my every financial need.

But that wasn’t going to be the dynamic at play here. The racks of clothing in front of me, the velvet boxes with jewelry in them – these were all so that I could be arm-candy. The appropriately attired pet of a billionaire.

There was rebellion in my heart, though there shouldn’t have been. It was foolhardy to my mission for me to even sow the slightest seed of discord. I was Alexander’s submissive. My job was to surrender with eagerness and pleasure. All I had to do was look pretty and have sex with him as often as he wanted it.

For two years in Dylan’s compound, that had been my only role. And today, on this morning when the sun shone brightly, I couldn’t stomach it anymore. I got dressed in one of my own items of clothing. Functional bra and panties, a pair of olive-green cargo pants and a grey tank top. My hair was pulled back into a ponytail. Absolutely no make-up graced my skin.

On the first day of a three-month contract, it prickled to feel like property. I needed desperately to feel like my own person.

***

Of course I was followed. There was a team of three men that tailed me, alternating so they wouldn’t be too obvious. Had I not been trained, I would have never known.

It wasn’t a surprise. He’d paid a million dollars for me. You wouldn’t buy a diamond ring for a million dollars and fail to insure it, would you? It was the same with me. That was all these men were. Insurance.

I ignored the sour taste in my mouth. I’d come to the auction knowing full well what was going to be in store for me. As much as Alexander was kind to me, he was still on remarkably convivial terms with Sylvia. He was Dylan’s financier. He’d paid a million dollars for me without the slightest flinch.

It would be a mistake to focus only on the kindness. It would be a mistake to forget who he was. It would be a mistake to underestimate him.

I was too much of a trained operative to contemplate going anywhere close to Lucien. I didn’t even know where he was and I wasn’t about to use the phone Alexander had given me to find out. I wasn’t an idiot. Each call would be logged. I just knew that he’d be close enough to pull me out if I needed.  

That was a reminder. I dialled the number of my
‘sister’
in Cleveland. This had been a carefully hatched plan. There was a woman standing by, waiting for my calls. The number was even registered to Alicia Fullerton. Enough of a cover had been created to fool Madame Lorraine’s investigators. Plus, since I knew I couldn’t call Lucien, this was a way to get coded messages to him.

“Jenny,” the woman on the other end of the line shrieked. She was good. She even sounded happy to hear from me. Lucien must have impressed on her the absolute need to maintain the cover story.

“Alicia,” I replied lightly. I’d told Madame Lorraine that my sister didn’t know what I was doing and that she thought I was simply taking a much-needed vacation. “I finally got a phone, so I thought I’d call and check in on you.” We exchanged shallow pleasantries. I asked some questions about her health. She responded with some assurances. It was weird having what was supposedly a loving, intimate conversation with your sister with a total stranger. If anyone was listening to our conversation, I wondered how convincing I sounded.

In code, I mentioned I was fine. Unhurt. I would call Lucien tomorrow morning.

Once I was done with that chore, I walked rather aimlessly. I headed out of the glitzy portion of Bangkok and back towards Khao San Road. There, I found a little café that catered to Western tastes. I ordered myself a latte and sat down, revelling in the blissful air-conditioning that permeated the space.

He found me there, when I’d finished about half my beverage. It was inevitable, was it not? I didn’t believe in fate, but it seemed that no matter where I went, he was there. Alexander. Marc. Whatever he choose to call himself.

“I thought it was okay to get a coffee,” I started in apology, hating the words out of my mouth even as I spoke. I sounded afraid and servile and I was none of that. All I’d done was go get a cup of coffee. Only someone trained with Dylan’s particular brand of punishment would deem that a sin.

“It is.” His only reaction to my nervousness was a slight tightening of his lips.

“I’m sorry,” I started again. I didn’t know why I was apologizing over and over. Too much was confusing. My brain was shutting down. The girl that Dylan had trained was rising to the fore. That girl wasn’t fearless or amused or brave. That girl only felt terror.

“Jenny.” His voice was firm. “Will you calm down, please? I’m not annoyed.” He sat down and ordered a latte as well. “Did you eat lunch?” he asked me.

I shook my head. “I’m sorry, I forgot.”

“Apologizing again. Please stop. I haven’t eaten either. Shall we grab a sandwich here or do you want to head somewhere else?”

I didn’t care. “This is fine,” I replied. “How did you know where to find me?” I didn’t think he would answer honestly, but I was curious as to what he’d say.

“Some of my guards are following you,” he said openly. “Please don’t be offended. I don’t want to constrain your movements in any way. But I’m a rich man and as long as you are associating with me, you’ll fall under my protection.”

What would it feel like to be really protected by Alexander? Marc had made me feel protected and cherished in Paris but in a way that felt warm, not suffocating. But Marc didn’t really exist and Alexander was allowed access to Dylan’s Vietnamese compound whenever he desired.

“Okay,” I replied simply, before realizing that if Jenny had never left America, she’d be a lot more worried. “Should I be concerned for my safety?”

He shook his head. “Of course not,
cherie,
” he soothed. “Most of the time, you won’t notice the guards.”

We both ordered sandwiches and ate them in silence. When we were done eating, I reached for my purse automatically to pay my share and his eyes followed the movement. His lips twisted. “I’ve got this,” he said.

“I hate not paying for myself,” I replied quietly. I didn’t know why I was telling him this. But right from the start, I had found it difficult to maintain my cover around this man. Something about him made me want to tell him the truth and to show him who I really was. He invited
realness
.  “Surely it’s enough that you’ve bid a million dollars for me for the next three months. And the dresses…” My voice trailed off unhappily. “I’m not used to being a kept woman, Alexander.” I didn’t mention the jewelry. I had to believe that was just a loan.

His hand closed over mine. “Jenny.” His voice caressed my soul. “The clothes are necessary so you don’t feel out of place in my world. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” He sighed. “I use the auction because it’s time-bound. A three month term, nothing more. For reasons I don’t want to get into, I’m not looking for anything longer than that. But beyond that, can we just let the auction go?” He tried a small smile. “I hate that you are afraid of me.”  

My heart hurt at his tone but how could I be anything other than afraid? In Paris two years ago, I’d surmounted my fear because he’d just been a guy in a bar. But now I knew that wasn’t true and every memory of every torment I’d received at Dylan’s hands and at the hands of his bodyguards played in an unending reel in my mind.

But I needed to pretend in order to get to Dylan. Alexander was offering me the perfect way forward. I nodded. “I’m sorry,” I replied. “I guess I have a lot more baggage than I’d realized about my former master.” I tried to keep my voice sincere. “I wasn’t trying to fool anyone, Alexander. I thought I’d gotten over my issues. I didn’t think I’d be afraid. You haven’t given me any reason to fear you. Can we start over?”

“Of course,
cherie
,” he said warmly. “Now, I’m at your disposal all day. We fly out to Paris tonight, unless you want to stay and sightsee longer in Bangkok?”

I did want to be brave. That wasn’t a lie. But every time he said Paris, part of me thought of Sylvia and panic overtook me.

The other part of me remembered Marc and our night together with yearning. I wasn’t sure which part I should fear most.

“I’ve been here for nearly two weeks,” I told him. “I’ve seen most of the sights.”

“Do you want to go shopping?” he asked.

“Oh god no,” I responded automatically. I was never very good in malls. I’d been abducted from one. It had been six years since that day and I could force myself to go to one if I had to. But I much preferred to avoid them. “I hate shopping and besides, Mrs. Suramongkol set me up with more clothes than I’m going to need in my lifetime. There’s one temple I wouldn’t mind going back to, if you don’t mind doing tourist things?”

“Lead the way.”

I took him to the temple complex of Wat Pho. It was crowded with tourists taking photos and Thai families worshipping but most of them clustered around the giant reclining Buddha in one of the buildings. I headed instead for the quiet tucked away corner, where smaller statues of seated Buddhas were set in arches all around the little courtyard.

There was no one around. The sun shone and I could feel trickles of sweat inch down the vee between my breasts. Far off screams of children playing could be heard in the air but we were very much alone. I folded myself down to a seated position at a corner. “Sit,” I invited.

He raised an eyebrow but followed my lead. I suppressed a snort of rather hysterical laughter. I had no idea why I had brought him here. Every time I was in Bangkok, I tried to come to this little courtyard at least once. It was quiet and peaceful and I felt nourished by the space. Here, I could close my eyes and allow the memories to recede to the background. Here, I could forget the rapes and the beatings and the men I’d killed in response to what had been done to me. Here, I could hope there was a way forward after I’d killed Dylan.

In this tiny courtyard, I would allow myself to dream. Now, I’d brought him here, the man who had featured in many of my dreams over the last two years.

It should have felt like a violation. But I leaned my head on his shoulder without even consciously thinking about it and I closed my eyes.

“Why do you like it here, Jenny?” His voice was barely audible.

“Look at it, Alexander,” I whispered. “It’s so peaceful. Here, I can forget things.”

“Things like your sister’s illness?”

It was my cover story, so I nodded. “Not just that, though,” I said. I needed to be real with him.
I’d always needed to be real with him.
“It helps me forget my former master.”

“You are very brave for going through with the auction.” His fingers linked in mine.

“Brave or desperate?” My voice was wry. “I didn’t have many other choices.” It was perfectly true, only I wasn’t talking about a sister with leukemia. I was talking about Dylan.

“Mm.” He kissed my forehead. “I like your honesty.”

“I thought you’d be angry that I’m not exactly what you bid for?”

He chuckled. “I’ve done this a few times before,” he responded. “No one is ever exactly who they think they are. People are complex and layered. Just because someone is submissive in bed, it doesn’t make them two-dimensional.” His fingers brushed at my neck. “I’m going to enjoy getting to know the real Jenny Fullerton. The one who is more than a very sparsely filled checklist.”

I shivered. Jenny Fullerton didn’t exist and Ellie Samuelson couldn’t be revealed to Alexander. It would be a death sentence to let him in too close. But I stayed where I was and I didn’t pull away. I was playing a dangerous game of Russian roulette.

***

Alexander:

Each little bit of realness she revealed felt like a precious gift.

Jean-Luc was doing his own investigations. No doubt it involved tracing her every movement in Bangkok, following the paper trail to Cleveland, and finding her supposedly sick sister.

Me, I did things my own way. I listened.

There was much more to her than was initially visible. There had been hints in Paris, of course. But I added up the pieces she revealed.