Bound (14 page)

With a glance over her shoulder to make sure the curtains on the window were closed, she quickly pulled her clothes off, pausing before deciding to leave the pendant on, and tested the water. It was the perfect temperature and she slipped in immediately. Delighted to find the tub deep enough to immerse herself completely, she took advantage of it and let the accumulated travel dirt of the past week soak off of her. Part way through this endeavor, she realized that the water was piped in warm, with a drain somewhere circulating away the dirty water. She soaped her hair with the supply that had been left by the tub and sighed with joy. The dirt swirled away and she felt refreshed. With great reluctance, she eventually dragged herself out, donning a thick robe that hung on the wall next to the tub and using a towel hanging beside it to start drying her hair.

She was just walking back into the main room, her hands above her head to towel her hair, when there was a knock on the door. She hesitated and Tavis' voice came through the door.

"Fay, I brought you some dinner. I thought you might be hungry." There was a pause. "And I need someone to talk to."

She stood there, still holding her hair in the towel. She looked down at the robe she wore and then back up at the door. From the other side, "Please?"

She let go of her hair and tucked the towel under one arm. Pausing with her hand on the knob, she thought to herself that this was foolish, then opened the door anyway. Tavis was standing there, a covered tray in his hands. He looked tired, confused and happy all at once.

"Thank you."

She nodded and took the tray from him. Walking over to the dresser, she set it down and turned. Tavis had closed the door behind him and was leaning against it, chin to his chest and his head held in both hands. She didn't know what to do for him, her state of dress making her first instinct awkward. Without looking up, he said, "I was going to try to sleep, but I can't stop thinking about- well, everything. I feel like my head's going to burst. It's just too much. I found I could talk to you, when it was just the two of us, before." He stopped, dropped his hands to his sides and raised his eyes to hers. "You're a good listener. I need to get some of this out of my head before I scream."

She nodded, and then tossed the towel inside the door of the bathing room before turning back to him. "Start with the hardest thing. I always find that makes the rest of it easier when I have a lot on my mind."

He stared at her. "You've felt like this?"

She laughed softly. "Yes, a few times. The worst was when they told me I had to go to Voleno. I didn't have anyone to talk to either, so instead I just kept thinking of having to leave, and trying to figure out why. But you're here to talk, not to listen to me."

She walked over to the little table under the window and sat down, trying not to be overly self-conscious at being in nothing but a robe. Tavis was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't seemed to have noticed. He continued to lean against the door for a while without speaking, staring ahead at nothing.

"I expected to be outraged. She's here, safe and sound, and I was stuck with Nevon for so long. I feel like that should seem more unfair to me, but I can't manage to stay angry with her. She didn't say a lot about the years since she left the farm, but I get the impression it wasn't easy, and then it feels like she's suffered enough." He paused and focused on her. "I guess this sounds stupid."

She shook her head and waited for him to go on. After a minute spent watching her, he did, closing his eyes as he spoke. "She explained why she left, more than she had in the letter. I guess I didn't really say much about that once I read it. I just didn't know what to make of it. She talked about how she loved me, and that was why she couldn't take me with her, but that she always hoped she'd be able to come back for me when it was safe." He paused and drew a deep breath, folding his arms across his chest. "I guess it never was. She knew what she was leaving me with, but thought that would be less dangerous. I guess she didn't realize my father would get worse after she left."

He stopped speaking again, and his lips pressed together as he struggled to control his emotions. After a while, she asked, "What did she say about why she left? You mentioned that she explained that further."

He opened his eyes again, and the hurt in them seared her heart. "Because he wouldn't let me learn."

"Learn what?" She thought she knew, but it occurred to her that saying the words out loud would help him get it off his chest.

Tavis pushed away from the door, an angry flush starting to rise up his neck and in his cheeks. "Anything! That's why she only taught me to read or showed me magic at night or when he was gone from the house, because he refused to let her teach me anything. Just because he was some ignorant nobody, he wouldn't let me learn anything. My own father."

He was staring at his hands now, clenched into fists in front of him. In the light of the candles on the dresser, she saw a tear track down his face before he turned his back on her. This time she did get up and put a hand on his shoulder. He didn't turn, but he dropped his hands loose again at his sides and went on.

"I don't even know why she chose Nevon, to be honest. He was stubborn, pigheaded and stupid, and it sounds like she got her fill of stubborn and pigheaded at least in her own family. She and Eliar didn't go into their relationship much, but I get the impression that it was never an easy one that way. I think we've both seen it in Eliar, and from what I saw, Mother is just as bad."

She smiled and said, "So I should expect it from you at some point? I mean, it sounds like you'd come by it honestly."

He looked at her over his shoulder, almost smiling himself. "Doubt it. Sometimes I think I could use it though. I was probably a fool to stay as long as I did and take care of my father. It's not like I owed him anything." He considered for moment, then said, "I guess I just don't know how to feel or what to make of these people who are suddenly my family, in my life unexpectedly. And on top of that, they all seem to be involved in something big, maybe the same thing you're in the middle of. I'm afraid I'm out of my depth here, Fay. I'm just some ignorant farmer. What do I know of plots and- anything really?"

She squeezed her hand on his shoulder to make him turn around and face her. "Don't, Tavis. Just because you were born on a farm doesn't make you ignorant. I went to the academy with children from all over the empire by the time I was done, and I learned from them that where you start doesn't make any difference in where your life can take you, not if you're determined to be more. Professor Ganson was born the son of a failed merchant who drank about as much as your father, from what he told me, and he went on to become an ambassador, one of the Emperor's best diplomats."

He stared at her, surprised. "I don't know that I could do that. He sounds like he was really smart and-"

She cut him off with a hard poke to his chest, her words coming out faster and fiercer by the moment. "Don't you sell yourself short, Tavis. Not to me, not when I know better. Have you forgotten that I've taught you? That I saw how fast you learned the things I showed you? And I only had to show you once. You lit the fire all on your own last night. I was watching. You have two of the three things you need the most to succeed, Tavis, intelligence and the ability to learn. If you can just believe in yourself, there's nothing you won't be able to do with a little training."

He had grabbed her hand to keep her from poking him again and he held it, staring at her with his brilliant eyes wide and his lips slightly parted, as if on the verge of speech. He searched her face for several moments in silence. As he did, her anger melted away, and she was surprised to realize how much she wanted him to succeed.

Suddenly he dropped her hand and took a step back. He was blushing, and it brought back her awareness that she wasn't properly dressed. He stood still for a moment, continuing to stare at her, then said, "I- I have to go to bed. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have- Thank you. Good night, Fay."

He turned and left quickly. She was at the door as it latched behind him and she pressed her hands to it, surprised at how the room felt empty to her now. She could have sworn she heard someone just outside the door, breathing in a long slow rhythm. After a few minutes, that too was gone and she sat down on the bed, feeling confused. She couldn't decide what she wanted. The thought of that heated pulse that usually coursed through her when Tavis was around tried to intrude but she pushed it away. She didn't want a partner, not yet at least. She still needed to accomplish something of her own before she could even consider it, though she had no idea what to do or how to go about it. A small voice in her mind tried to tell her she was being silly, and another tried to point out that she could do whatever she wanted while he learned to use his magic, but she muzzled them both. Feeling tired, she lay back on the bed and was asleep before she could think about crawling under the covers.

The next morning she awoke with confused and troubling memories of the night. Shattered fragments of dreams and nightmares, colored with anger and frustration she didn't understand, chased around her mind. That was overshadowed by something worse though. She vividly remembered waking up in the night, convinced that she was not alone in the room, but seeing no one when she looked around. She had fallen back asleep just as she decided she should get up and check.

She dressed and brushed her hair carefully, trying to collect herself. That was when she noticed a single red rose sitting in the center of her dresser. She went over and picked it up. Twirling it thoughtfully between her fingertips, she examined it but nothing about it seemed unusual and she could detect no spellwork about it. Perhaps one of the servants left it there while I was still asleep, she thought and set it back down.

Leaving her room, she went downstairs, hesitated for a moment as she tried to think where everyone might be, then followed the sound of voices she heard. She stopped in the door of a small dining room as Eliar sat down at the table with a plate of food from a sideboard breakfast. Tavis and Lydia were talking to each other on the other side of the room.

"...don't see what's wrong with the clothes I have," Tavis was saying.

"Surely you want to look your best for-" Lydia said, breaking off as she noticed Fay in the doorway. "Good morning, Faylanna. In any case, Tavis, it will look suspicious if someone dressed as you are keeps going in and out of this quarter, and people will start to inquire. Please, just go upstairs and put them on."

"They don't fit. I look ridiculous in them. I'm not wearing them," he said with finality.

Lydia gave a long-suffering sigh and Eliar stopped eating long enough to say, "Do as your mother tells you, boy."

Tavis started arguing with Eliar after that and Lydia turned to Fay. Her eyes were pleading and it was obvious what she wanted. Fay thought about it and spoke over the two arguing men, smiling at the idea that had occurred to her. "I can take him to a tailor. I know the perfect person for the job. Soval will do it, if only because it will be me asking."

"Soval? Really?" Lydia's surprise was obvious. She turned to Tavis. "Well, I- I just don't know if it's a good idea for you to go outside, Faylanna. Your father is in the city."

Eliar agreed. "After the trouble we went to in order to get you into the city without him finding out, you can't just go prancing around in the streets. I thought you had more sense than that."

"I'm not going to hide here forever just because you think I should be afraid of my father, Eliar," she snapped, taking a step into the dining room in her defiance.

"I'm not the only one who thinks that. And with what happened when you came to see me, I'm surprised you don't see why."

"If you're referring to the attack by that vygazza, I'll admit the creature was something to be terrified of, but I've seen nothing to connect it with my father. I'm not staying in this house until you decide I can go out based solely on that."

"Let the girl go out, Eliar," Ki said, coming into the room behind her. They had been arguing so loudly that she hadn't heard his approach. "I've heard that he's... occupied at the moment. Even if he finds out she's in the city, he won't be able to act fast enough to find out where she's staying, as long as they don't take all day. She'll have Tavis with her, and I'm sure he won't let anything happen to her."

There was silence around the room, and Fay wanted to turn around and hug Ki in gratitude. Eliar grumbled a little and Lydia tried to give her some advice on what to get for Tavis, which Fay knew she would ignore. Soval would be insulted by advice in any case, and she knew better than to risk that. Tavis was still watching her and she found it unnerving that he hadn't spoken at all. After a few bites of breakfast, she realized she was too excited to eat. She stood up and nodded to Tavis, who followed suit.

Ki intercepted them at the door and handed over a folded sheet of fine parchment. He looked seriously into her eyes. "You'll need this to get back into the quarter. In fact, you might need it to get out unmolested by the guards, but it should be fine. Just remember to come back before afternoon. I meant what I said about not being out all day."

She nodded and left with Tavis trailing behind her. They were almost to the gates of the Quarter of Airs before he started walking beside her. People were staring at him and she saw that it made him uncomfortable. She was glad that she had put her nicest dress on, something she had forgotten was in her pack until she had been getting dressed that morning.

"Thank you," Tavis said quietly, keeping his eyes down. "If I have to wear fancy clothes like what she gave me, well, I guess it should fit right, or I'll look like even more of an idiot."

Fay smiled at that. They were able to get out of the quarter without having to use the paper Ki had given them, for which she was grateful. She wondered if they would even need it on the way back in, if Soval did well. She would have to ask him to work quickly. The tailor's shop was exactly where she remembered it. The familiar window, still full of fabric rolls, brought a rush of pleasant memories. After taking a moment to smile and savor the past, she took Tavis' hand and pulled him to the door, trying to maintain her hold on dignity. She pushed him in ahead of her and closed the door after her as an irascible but welcome voice called out.