Bound and Determined (14 page)

And she was sounding like a candidate for the loony bin.

Frowning, Kerry opened one eye enough to see that sunrise was a promise on the horizon. Too early to be awake. She closed her eyes again, only to realize she really needed to pee and wasn’t likely to sleep again.

After answering nature’s call and grabbing a quick shower, she wrapped her towel around her and wandered back into the bedroom, over to the window that overlooked the stunning ocean view. Dawn swept over the salt-drenched seascape in lush blues, pinks, and oranges. Lovely, really. But all she could think about was Rafe. The man swirled in her head, his musky, masculine scent all in the air. His kiss drove her insane, and now he believed her brother was likely innocent. She sighed. Prince Charming, yes—but not hers to keep. She owed him the sex he wanted. She could like him okay, but nothing more.

“What’s wrong?”

Kerry whirled at the sound of his sleep-roughened voice. “How long have you been awake?”

“Since you left the bed. Is something wrong?” Propping his back against his pillows, he cocked his gorgeous, sleep-rumpled head, silver eyes examining her in the soft light. “You look worried.”

As if she would tell a guy like Rafe that she was liking him more than sexually and fearing that letting him go would be tougher than expected. Yeah, she’d rather cut off her right hand with a rusty knife. No doubt he had loads of sophisticated New York City women falling at his feet. He’d never be interested in more than a good time from a suburban Florida virgin.

His soft curse interrupted her thought. “Never mind. I know why you’re worried.”

She turned away and closed her eyes. Please God, don’t let her every emotion be written all over her face, as usual. Mark had always teased her that her face wasn’t an actual open book, but a kindergarten-level reader.

Where is the nearest pit of quicksand when I need it?

Behind her, she heard Rafe rise. He settled warm hands on her bare shoulders. “What do you say we forget about having sex?”

F
orget about having sex?
Had she heard that right? Shock scattered the earlier tumble of her thoughts, momentarily numbing her brain like a shot of Novocain. A faraway buzzing rang in her ears. The sting of rejection slid between her ribs like a knife.

He doesn’t want me
.

Was there some reason that the only two men she’d ever thought of having sex with both choked before the “big game”? The difference was, Richard had mostly disappointed her by vomiting on a dress she’d loved. But she truly wanted Rafe. Really, really wanted him.

Kerry couldn’t deny that the only thing she had in common with a beauty like Kate Hudson was hair color. Still, perfectly average women managed to find love all the time. She wasn’t asking for undying devotion from Rafe. Certainly a half hour of his time and a little passion weren’t too much to hope for.

Apparently, a suburban Florida virgin wasn’t even good enough for a good time.

Well, if Rafe didn’t want her, she didn’t need him. She didn’t need any man, damn it.

Fighting the sting of tears in her eyes, Kerry jerked from his
touch and spun around to find the door. Big mistake. Rafe blocked her way, looking so scrumptious this morning wearing nothing more than his boxer-briefs. He looked even yummier now than he did in his thousand-dollar suits. His inky hair had a soft, rumpled look that tempted her fingers. With dark sideburns that melded into a morning-after shadow, he unconsciously flaunted his dangerous, bad-boy appeal. A pang cut into her like a bleeding wound from a bad slasher flick.

“Move,” she demanded.

Rafe stood unyielding, tall against the sunlight beaming through the window, illuminating the golden skin smoothed over his bulging shoulders and the defined ridges of his chest. And his eyes, softer than usual, were filled with something she feared was pity.

Curling up and dying had never sounded more appealing.

He crossed his arms over his wide chest. “No.”

Cooperative as usual. Great.

“Fine,” Kerry bit out, chin raised. She would not cry, she would not cry, she would not cry. “But what about Mark? If not having sex with you means not gaining your help for him—”

“I’ll help,” Rafe assured her. “He needs it.”

So what was he now, a philanthropist, suddenly willing to give of his time to help the needy, as long as it meant avoiding the horizontal mambo with her? “If you’ll help Mark and you want to forget the sex, then we’ll forget it.”

He frowned. “Look, I just don’t want you to feel obligated to do something you’ll regret.”

Now
he was worried about that? She’d thought a smart guy like Rafe would know that she wouldn’t have agreed to their bargain if she thought she’d regret it later. “This is about you,” she accused. “Have you gotten enough of what you wanted, so you’re just done with me?”

Rafe’s frown became a sinful half-smile.

She clutched the skimpy black towel closer to her chest, achingly aware of his gaze touching her bare shoulders. If he didn’t want her anymore, why did he look? That unwavering stare made her toes curl even when he dismissed her. Pathetic! Her body needed to stop pumping out the come-and-get-me pheromones!

“You think I’ve gotten enough of you?”

His hot silver stare touched its way down her body, pausing at her breasts as if he could see through her towel and picture her as naked as a centerfold. Her nipples instinctively beaded under his gaze. Kerry drew in a stunned breath as he made a visual path down to her belly, her barely covered femininity, touching her with every glance.

Bewildered by the unmistakable lust sharpening his features, Kerry took a step back. Now able to see Rafe’s barely clad body, she noted that he sported a really impressive erection. Even through his boxer-briefs, it looked even more insistent than his stare.

The words coming out of his mouth and the state of his arousal matched as well as a pink mini with orange and brown mules. Okay, what on earth was going on?

“I . . . I thought—”

“Oh, babe. I’ve only had a little taste of you. It wasn’t nearly enough. I could be inside you morning, noon, and night for the next two days. I guarantee it wouldn’t be enough.”

As his hot gaze confirmed his desire, the knot of dismay in her belly eased—until she realized he still wasn’t coming closer to touch her, to take her. Then he dropped the blazing stare and turned away.

The view of his taut backside in black boxer-briefs was so fabulous, it took Kerry a moment to focus on his words.

“Listen, I suggested this bargain when I was incredibly aroused and thoroughly pissed off. I didn’t believe you’d accept. I didn’t think about what would happen if you did. And then when you told me about your inexperience . . .” He turned back to her with a shrug. “I’m just thinking sex isn’t a good idea.”

Understanding dawned—and really ticked her off. “It’s the virginity thing, isn’t it?”

“Not . . . exactly.” Hands on narrow hips, Rafe stared at the ceiling and heaved a long sigh. “Well, in a way. But—”

“Look, if you’re worried I’ll cling like a vine afterward, don’t. I tell time well enough to know when forty-eight hours ends.”

“Kerry, that’s not it.”

Okay . . . “Then what? There are plenty of condoms. I checked.”

An unexpected smile softened his face. “Yeah, I saw them, too.” Then he sobered. “But there’s more to this than condoms or lack thereof.”

What? If he really did want her and wasn’t worried about her having all the suction of a Hoover when this was over, what was the matter? No doubt, he could perform. They were alone. She’d shaved just that morning. So what was the issue? Oh, she was so confused. And men thought women were hard to figure out?

Turning away, Kerry stared back out at the white-sand shore, thoughts racing.

Damn it, she ached so bad with the need to touch Rafe, to experience the incredible pleasure she sensed he could give her. Dangerous as it was, she loved the idea of feeling closer to him, pretending he was her man, even if for a little while.

No matter what he said, his sudden disinterest in sex with her had to be the virginity. She’d just known it was going to freak him out.

Did it ever occur to him that she felt like a mutant? Maybe she should tell him that she wanted him because he made her feel both aroused and safe at the same time. Because she felt so drawn to him. Or was he too weirded out by the whole adult-virgin thing to care?

The towel suddenly felt too skimpy, mortification heated her face in the most uncomfortable way, and her head hurt.

“I know this is about my virginity. And you know what? I don’t want it any more than you do.” She reached for her phone and turned toward the door to find the closet and her clothes. “I’m going to put an end to this. In two hours, I can have it taken care of so neither one of us has to deal with it again.”

“What does that mean?” Rafe’s eyes narrowed.

“Well, if you’re right about Jason, I can just call, have him pick me up and take me to my place—”

Before she could reach the door, Rafe clamped hard fingers around her wrist. She whipped her gaze up to his face, then winced at his fierce expression. He’d clenched his jaw so tight, she wondered if he could break diamonds with his teeth.

“Put the fucking phone down.”

With every sharp word, his eyes turned more molten—swirling with lust and fury. Thick tension churned in her belly at that look.

She dropped the phone on the floor, barely noticing when it thudded on the soft area rug. She’d handled that badly, she supposed. Did Emily Post have a chapter on suggesting alternate lovers to a current one for the breaking of one’s hymen?

“You’d actually have sex with Jason to get rid of your virginity? And then what? Come back here and think that solved the problem so we could go back to Plan A?”

Okay, so maybe she was the Queen of Crazy Ideas lately.

“Maybe. No.” With a sigh, Kerry’s shoulders slumped. “I don’t know.”

“Do you want him?” Rafe demanded to know.

“No.” She shook her head. “But I’m not celibate by choice exactly; I certainly don’t want to be celibate by force. I want to experience more of the passion and pleasure you’ve given me a taste of.”

“So if I don’t have sex with you, any other penis will do?” he growled.

No. In her heart, Kerry knew that. She wanted Rafe. But her temper urged her on. “How would I know?”

Anger exploded all over his face. “Give me a break! You’re obviously not the kind of woman who just fucks anyone. You’ve been waiting for something special. I know that.”

“Suddenly you’re a sensitive guy?”

He stalked closer. Kerry held her breath, heart pounding, as he breached her personal space. She felt the heat of Rafe’s body as he drew nearer. Then he reached out, clutched her shoulders. Her skin burned beneath his fingers.

“Let’s get a few things straight, shall we? One, I only volunteered to release you from our agreement because you shouldn’t have to sleep with a guy you’ve only known for a few days just to get help for your brother, especially when it’s entirely possible he’s innocent. Apologizing probably makes me look like a hypocrite, but what the hell? No one should be coerced into sex, especially not the first time.”

“But I—”

“Damn it, let me finish. I’m trying to be decent here. I’ve
said I’ll help your brother, no matter what happens between us.” He shrugged. “I’d just rather not have you call me three kinds of a son of a bitch and hate me later.”

Kerry stared at Rafe in stunned silence. He’d backed off for her? Not because he didn’t want her. Not entirely because she was a virgin. Because he was afraid
she
would hate
him
? Talk about an alternate reality. So the big, bad wolf actually had a conscience.

“Two,” he went on, his gaze zeroing in on her face, his stare forcing her to meet his. “It’s not that I don’t want you or your virginity. I want you.” He closed his eyes for a moment. “So fucking bad I can barely think of anything else.” Rafe opened his eyes again, and the feral want in those eyes blasted a bolt of need right to her core. “I want to sink down into you, deep, be the one to open you to pleasure. I want to hear you scream my name in orgasm, knowing I’m the first man your body’s ever enveloped while you come.”

Kerry drew in a sharp breath as desire tore through her belly. His blistering stare matched his words as he lowered his hands to her hips and dragged her against him.

Once again, she felt the fact he had the erection to do all the things he’d just uttered.

“And if you call Jason right now, I’ll find him and break both his legs.”

Was he jealous? There was no mistaking the possession in his gaze. Wonders never ceased. Surprise bloomed inside her, and she bit her lip to hold in a smile.

“Very mature,” she teased.

He shrugged. “Sue me.”

So . . . he’d put the choice in her hands. Usually it took Kerry a long while to make a decision. Not today. She drew in a breath and gathered her courage.

“I’d rather have my wicked way with you.” She shot him her best interpretation of a come-hither stare.

He swallowed hard, gaze riveted to her. “Be really sure, Kerry. Once it’s done, there’s no taking it back.”

His concern swelled warmth in her chest as she raised a hand to his face. “Don’t get me wrong. I’m thrilled to have you on Mark’s side. I think, in time, you’ll be as convinced of
Mark’s innocence as I am. But I’m not just a sister, I’m a woman, too.” She dragged the pad of her thumb over his lower lip even as anxiety churned in her stomach. “I didn’t agree to that bargain solely to help my brother. I agreed because I—I want you.” Fighting a blush, she went on. “You being first, me being yours for two days . . . it’s exciting. It feels right.”

“You’re really willing to keep our agreement?”

How many times did a girl have to say yes? Lord, she’d been as subtle as a wrecking ball in a room full of crystal. Rafe wanting her to think about it and be sure was very sweet . . . but unnecessary. Despite everything she’d put him through, he’d been amazingly decent. She thought the fact he was capable of incredible things with his mouth and hands was a big plus, too.