Bound Together (24 page)

“
Well, John was a war hero, so I’m sure his read well.
”

“
He didn’t have an obit
uary
published. My mom
wanted to keep everything quiet
—
pretend like it never happened.
”

I considered that for a moment.
Maybe that made death easier to accept, but it seemed that all Matt wanted to do was keep the memory of his brother alive.
I wanted to ask what he missed most about this brother, but his
body language was rigid, unsure, like he had something bigger on his mind. I held my
breath
.
I could practically see him trying to figure out how to put into words what he was thinking.

“So I was thinking about my last pass to see you, and I want
ed
to propose something different.”

I waited.

“
You might not like it
—
but just hear me out.
Actually I know you will not like it.
” He took a deep breath. “
Come with me to the dance.”

I pressed my fingers over his lips.
“Stop.
Talking.”
I laughed,
uneasily,
shaking my head.

“I’m serious,” h
e mumbled out around my fingers, it came out sounding more like,
m
ime
-
mirrorious
.

“
Shh
. No. That is the dumbest idea ever.”

He took my wrist and lowered it from his mouth. “Just hear me out,
Zoey
.”

I sat back and
waited. T
his
oughtta
be good.

“As you once pointed out
—
I’m the captain of the football and wrestling
teams. I have an image to uphold.
I’m expected to go to the dance.” I rolled my eyes, but he continued. “And I don’t have a date. I don’t want to take someone that I
’ll
just have to try to put on an act for. If I
take you, I can be myself, we’ll both have fun and it’ll
even
count as my last official free pass
, so then you can be done seeing me
.”

I exhaled heavily, slumping
with my back against the wall
. Why was he so hard to say no to?
“I don’t have anything to wear,” I said, not meeting his eyes.

“We’ll take care of that. No problem. Should we go to the mall?” he asked, sitting up straighter.

“Good Lord. That’s whe
re I draw the line. Settle down.
Morgan can probably loan m
e
something.”

“Cool. So, you’ll come?”

“What about
tickets
…
hair
…….
nails
…
corsages….
I don’t have money for any of that.”

“I’ll get the tickets, so that covers that. Just wear your hair down how I like it. Corsages?” He strummed his fingers on
his knee
. “We don’t need ‘
em
. Don’t worry about that. They’re kind of pointless if you ask me.” He picked up my hand and looked at it. “Nails,” he said out loud, as he thought. “Wait here.” He got up and jogged from the room.

When he returned he was holding two bottles of nail polish. “Pink or red?
”

I looked him over trying to figure out what he was intending.

“
That’s all I could find in my mom’s bathroom.”

Matt was waiting for my answer, standing there smiling at me.
I was no good at painting nails
, just ask Cora
. I looked into his eyes. They were
crystal clear
blue and shined bright
ly
at mine. “Whichever you like better,” I said in a soft voice.

He
looked between the two bottles like he was considering it for the first time. He
vigorously shook the pink, then unscrewed the top.
He looked over, studying me for a second before pulling my feet into his lap. “We’ll start with your toes.
They have to
match
, right?
”

I didn’t answer.

I rested my feet across his thighs.
He bit his lip in concentration.
His fingers looked too
big holding onto the little wan
d, but he dipped the brush inside and carefully spread the polish across my toenails.
I had a weird feeling in my chest as I watched him work. It took everything I had not to pull back from him and
make up an excuse to leave the house.

He switched to my other foot and
his mom made an appearance in the doorway.
Even though the door was most of t
he way open, she made a point of
pushing it
open the rest of the way.

“
Matt?
”
S
he
scrutinized
us both. “Introduce me to your friend.”
Her eyes travelled along my legs, which were stretched out across her son’s lap.

Matt stuck the brush back in the polish and straightened his shoulders. “This is
Zoey
.”

“Hi.” I tried a smile, but it felt wrong.

“Hello.” Then she turned to Matt. “Be careful you don’t spill tha
t polish
.”
The s
he turned and left.

Matt resumed painting my nails once she was gone.
When
he was done with my toes, he painted my finger
nails
to match. He took his time, making sure he was staying within the lines. It reminded me of the time he’d colored with Cora. His brow crinkled
in concentration
, and he
sat
hunched over my hand. Something told me he liked the distraction, not having to think about anything else.
I didn’t want to tell him that t
he
polish likely wouldn’t last all the way till next weekend without chipping, but I could probably have Morgan touch it up.

“So, this dance thing…
if
I go with you. What does that mean?”

“I don’t know. What do you mean?”

“We’re done after that right? I mean, things are going to go back to normal, like how they were before.”

“If that’s what you want,
then
yeah.”

“Hm.” I considered it. “What do
you
want?”

He shrugged and used the excuse of
a second coat of
polish
on
my nails to keep looking down. I swear he had painted over the same nail at least
six
times.

“B
asically my friend Morgan has
this theory
–t
hat guys see sex
like a challenge and that’s why you’re still seeing me. We haven’t done it yet.”

“Yet?”
H
e paused from painting and met my eyes
beneath
his eyelashes.

I swatted his arm. “
I’m just trying to test the validity of her theory. Say a guy and a girl are messing around. Basically, is he going to stick around until he achieves the main event?”

He finished polishing and screwed on the lid while he thought. He leaned back an
d rested against a pillow
, like this was the most natural conversation in the world. “Probably true for a lot of guys
—
but not all.”

“Elaborate.”

He brushed his hand across his hair. “Yeah, Justin, other guys I know
—
sure. That’s the general thought process. If you’re asking about me, then no.”

“Why
‘
no
’
?”

He took his time, thinking about how to answer, looking deep in thought. “I had the chance to do it with Chelsey, but I didn’t.”

“Why not?” I felt like a broken record
asking him all these questions and hoped he wouldn’t read into it that I cared more than I did.

“I just knew it would mean something dif
ferent to her than it did to me, and
I
didn’t want to have to deal with that
.”

I
interpreted
both
what he said and what he didn’t say
. H
e didn’t want to confuse or hurt Chelsey
—
since she was girlfriend material, whereas I was just some girl, so he had no such qualms about what sex would mean between us.
It would be fun, plain and simple.

Chapter Twenty
-
eight

Matt

Morgan was attacking
Zoey
in the hallway.
She giggled and applauded while
Zoey
glared at her.
It could only mean one thing
—
Zoey
had told her about the dance.
I tried not to smile while Morgan threw
her arm
s
around
Zoey
’s
neck
,
hugging her, before
Zoey
pushed her away.

I knew Justin would give me shit
if I told him who I was taking
and I just wasn’t ready to listen to it
—
or defend
Zoey
under his scrutiny.
It wasn’t that I had changed my mind about taking
her.
I just didn’t feel like telling anybody about it right now. 

As usual
Zoey
avoided me in the halls all that week. The one time she did lean over to talk to me in class, I thought she was going to say she’d changed her mind about the dance, but instead she said she’d meet me in front of the gym at nine on Friday night
after my
game. I still hadn’t told Justin who I was
taking
, but today was the day.
Everyone would see me with her Friday, and it’s not that I was ashamed to be seen with her
—
I was just so used to doing wha
t everyone expected me to.
Bringing
Zoey
to the dance would be anything but expected.

At lunch though, I couldn’t avoid telling Justin any longer, since we were both standing in line to buy tickets. I’d already heard Justin was taking Samantha Avery, a pretty junior on JV cheerleading. But just to get the conversation out of the way, I asked, “So who are you taking?” We stepped forward in line.

“Sam,” he said, smiling. “You?”

Moment of truth.
I cleared my throat.
“
Zoey
.”

“Who?”

“That girl I went to
Paris
with.”

“Interesting choice.”
He nodded his head slowly, looking me over.
“She really got under your skin, huh?”
He
studied
me
. 

“Something
like
that. I just figured she’s low key. I won’t have to worry about impressing anyone.”

“And she’ll probably be grateful enough that you’re elevating her social status to kindly return some favors.”

I laughed, but nothing could be further from t
he truth when it came to
Zoey
. B
ut I didn’t explain that to Justin.

*****

The day of the dance, I shared knowing looks with
Zoey
all throughout Global Studies. We got our paper back –we’d gotten an A and Mr. Rhinehart had even written on the title page,
Interesting premise!

The anticipation of tonight made me nervous and excited. It would be
my last time hanging out with
Zoey
, which sucked. But I always had fun when I was with her. I hoped
out first public outing
wouldn’t be awkward and we’d have fun. I wondered if we’d dance. I wondered what
Zoey
would wear and if she’d be up for going to Justin’s party with me
after
.
I’d brought my dress pants, shirt and tie to school in my duffle bag, since after the game, I would shower and change before meeting
Zoey
.