Bound Together (10 page)

the white

By the time we made it back out of the mall, the clear sky had been replaced with a dull gray pall. It was much colder as well. I shivered slightly despite my heavy leather jacket, but Misaki seemed to be taking the cold weather in stride.

I glanced over at her. I really
did
miss the ears when she hid them. “It looks like we're going to be getting some snow soon. Do you want to head back home?”

Misaki was silent for a few moments, apparently considering her options. A smile played across her lips and she turned to me. “Can we stay out and see the snow? It's been... well, it's been a very long time since I last saw it snow.”

“It snows almost every year here,” I pointed out. “You said you've been awake for eight years, and it's snowed in the winter six out of those eight.”

“My former Ma—the Relic's previous wielder only traveled here two years ago. Until then, we were assigned to temporary mission areas in cooperation with servant Houses. Before I came here, I was in Brazil at such a house on a long-term assignment.”

I felt a swelling in my chest at her words. She intentionally corrected herself to avoid referring to the previous wielder of the Relic as her Master. I knew it was something to be happy about, but just
how
happy I felt was a little worrisome. My mind threatened to start digging up Thought Three, but I managed to beat it back and keep my attention focused on my immediate surroundings.

“Let's go to the park,” I suggested, trying vainly
not
to think about the way Misaki's joyful smile sent a pleasant shiver through me. “It's just across the plaza, so we won't even need to go get the car out of the parking deck.”

“Okay.”

The two of us walked for a few minutes in companionable silence, which was pretty unfortunate, because this left me more or less alone with my thoughts. I filled my head with ideas on what to make for dinner rather than that other thing, but it was becoming increasingly difficult.

Conversation, I told myself. Make some.

“W-what would you like to eat tonight?”

Either Misaki didn't notice the tremor in my voice or she chose to ignore it. She placed a slender finger against her chin as she considered various dishes. I'd already resolved to handle tonight's meal myself. The last thing I wanted her to do was to start slipping back into the servant mentality.

At least it was easier to change mindsets for an immortal spirit; a human subjected to the same shit Misaki had gone through would have needed years and years of professional counseling to even approach something resembling stable. Obviously her mind was built to be as resilient as possible.

“Usually I ate rice, tofu and steamed vegetables with the maidservants.” Misaki glanced at me and her brow furrowed. “What sort of meals are you used to eating?”

“Well, I've been sort of lazy when it comes to cooking, but I'm not half bad,” I told her as we walked through the decorative wrought-iron arch that led into the small park. The concrete sidewalk gave way to a narrow inlaid-brick path that winded through small rolling hills covered in grass that was a little faded in color.

I had a thought: why not introduce her to my favorite meal? “Well, we could just order a pizza and some good beer.”

Misaki's eyes lit up at the suggestion. “Ah! Pizza! I've heard of it, but I've never actually tried it myself. I've never tried beer, either. I was only permitted to drink water and occasionally
sake
during ritual meals.” She made a face. “I didn't like the
sake
. It was very pungent.”

I laughed. “I'm not much of a hard liquor person, either. Maybe an occasional vodka cocktail, but nothing straight. Beer is my poison of choice.” I reached into my pocket and pulled out a cigarette, lighting it and blowing a plume of smoke up into the air. Cold as it was, the smoke appeared to billow out and multiply as the water vapor from my exhalation condensed into a white fog.

I felt Misaki's hand brush against mine. Her fingers were slender, soft and felt delicate but strong. The tingling numbness of the cold started to fade as she pushed gentle warmth through her hand and into mine. Recalling exactly how proficient she'd been with throwing fire all around, it wasn't a surprise to me that she could carefully modulate her power for the mundane task of warming my hand.

And, not incidentally, warming my cheeks. I hoped the blustery weather would mask the blush that was spreading rapidly. Misaki either didn't notice those kind of cues—that would be understandable, considering her circumstances—or chose not to comment on them for my sake.

“Pizza is pretty customizable,” I continued, babbling on just to keep my brain from going into places I wasn't ready to go. “You can get just about any sort of toppings you'd want... onions, peppers, all kinds of meats, garlic, artichoke hearts. My usual place keeps a lot of unusual toppings, too, like Korean beef barbecue and Tandoori chicken.”

“I'm sure I'll like whatever you pick,” Misaki replied, squeezing my hand lightly. Before I was able to try and come up with some rejoinder to that, small white flakes began to fall from the sky.

“Ah, there it goes.”

Misaki's contented smile split into a wide grin at the sight of the falling snow. She reached out and giggled as a snowflake landed on her fingertip. I was surprised to see the tiny crystal remain intact, but it was easily enough explained if Misaki had drawn heat
out
of her fingertip to preserve the snowflake.

“It's so pretty!”

Not as pretty as you, I almost blurted out. Nope, Karin. Don't say it. Don't even go there. She's a centuries-old immortal spirit imbued into an enchanted sword and you're just a lonely, aimless, almost-thirty woman desperate for a fairytale romance. You've known her for all of a day. It'll never work. So stop it right now.

“Aw, it melted,” Misaki pouted in a singsong tone. She looked over at me and smiled as she danced around trying to catch more of the falling snow, likely hoping to find another snowflake to admire.

Yeah. Okay. Stopping it right now was hopeless. My heart and brain were both melting like the snowflakes she caught.

The snowfall had grown considerably more heavy within only the last few minutes, building up on the ground in a thin layer that wouldn't stay thin for long. The drive back home wasn't going to be much fun if it kept coming down like this. I puffed away on my cigarette, trying to forget how cold it was while I watched Misaki play in the snow. It only took a few minutes before she realized I was doing my best to hide my discomfort at the temperature drop.

“Karin, you're shivering,” she admonished me. “We should go back to your car and head home.”

“I'm okay,” I lied. Freezing my ass off was
totally worth
seeing that smile.

“No, you're not.” Misaki shook a finger at me in a chastising manner. “I can tell that your body temperature is already dropping a little. You don't handle cold weather very well, do you?”

I sighed. “Yeah, okay, let's get going. I'm getting pretty hungry, anyway. Come on, we'll get in the car, turn the heat on and I'll send the order for our dinner.”

I really should have known better. It would be damn near impossible to tell a fib about not being cold to a being that both had an innate mastery over elemental fire and was magically bound to my soul.

The walk back to the car had one advantage, though. I was cold and miserable enough that my mind was too busy being cold and miserable in order to start trying to dig up that thing I didn't want to think about. Misaki, again, seemed completely unaffected, even as small drifts of snow built up on her shoulders and the top of her head.

I brushed them off with my right hand, not caring that they were so cold it felt like I was being stabbed with thousands of tiny needles. It was counterproductive but I lit another cigarette, not caring that the nicotine would just cause my blood vessels to contract and probably make me even colder.

“Karin, why do you smoke?”

I blinked and looked over at Misaki. Her eyes were softened with obvious concern and curiosity. It was a question I hadn't really thought about much.

“It's not really a big deal these days,” I deflected. “Modern cigarettes aren't good for you, but they aren't really unhealthy, either. They definitely don't give you cancer and kill you like they did when my parents were kids.”

“That's not what I asked.”

I sighed and puffed a bit. “I don't know, really. I didn't start when I was a teenager like most people do. I just bought a pack at a liquor store one day, seven years ago. I guess... it's because I'm a weak person and I need something to help me get through the day.”

Misaki didn't respond immediately. I avoided looking at her, wondering if she viewed my habit as a failing, as something that would reflect poorly on one of those people who took upon themselves the sacred duty of hunting specters. The thought of displeasing her didn't sit well with me at all.

“I don't think you're a weak person,” she said after the long silence. “I do understand needing something to help get through the day, though.”

“The days are getting harder to get through. Now there are freaky-nightmare monsters with evil magic to deal with.”

Misaki nodded solemnly. “What we've faced so far is the least of them. It's only going to get more difficult and dangerous from here on out.”

“Then I'm glad I can rely on someone as sweet and lovely as you to help me get through the much harder days,” I replied, completely without thinking. Predictably, Misaki's eyes widened in surprise, growing as huge as saucers. She was taken off-guard and seemed to be at a loss for words.

Of course.
The one time
I'm not able to restrain my stupid girl-brain from spewing stupid girl-thoughts, she actually manages to pick up on the deeper meaning. Wait, what deeper meaning? That line was about as subtle as a knockout punch!

It apparently had a similar effect, because Misaki went completely silent. I had no idea what was going on in her head, not in the least because the invisibility charm still hid her ears. If those were visible I'd at least be able to tell if she was offended, upset, creeped out or, um, something else.

When we got to the car I flicked my spent butt into a nearby trashcan and tapped my phone's security release, unlocking the car doors and deactivating the security system. I opened the driver's side door and dropped into the seat. The few extra seconds of time Misaki took to get in caused my stomach to fold in upon itself.

Damn it, Karin, calm the fuck down. You don't even know if she's actually upset at you yet. It's too early to start running for the hills. I couldn't believe I just blurted that out without thinking. I mean, even if I
intended
to flirt, that would have been such a terribly lame line to use.

I started the motor, hearing the ethanol engine pop to life as well. The cold probably had the batteries behaving badly. Getting a new car would be priority number one if the AEGIS job was going to pay
that
much. Five dollars per liter was painful.

Once the heat was going, I pulled out my phone and opened up the ordering interface for my favorite pizza joint. I had an account, I was a regular. I had no life, either, apparently, because after ordering, I almost immediately received an instant message from Josh, the evening shift manager, asking if I really meant to order enough for two.

Yes, I really meant to. No, I didn't want to talk about it. Fuck you, no, I wasn't going to “take a picture” to prove it. Just get me my pizza and beer, thanks and goodbye. I didn't consider the prying questions to be offensive since Josh and I talked often enough and about enough things that we might even be considered friends, whatever those were.

I sighed and jammed my phone back into my jacket, put the car into gear and drove out of the parking lot. Misaki was still silent, but she was looking at me intently and perhaps a little expectantly. I wanted to explain, make an excuse, play it off as a joke, but I doubted that would actually work. It turned out that I wouldn't get a chance to, anyway.

“Karin?”

Her voice was certainly not upset. It was... something else.

“I, um, about what I said earlier—”

“Did you really mean that?” Misaki interrupted, cutting me off before I could end up in an even deeper hole while trying to dig myself out of the first one.

Inside my head my mind exploded into a universe of profanity, all directed at my own dumb ass. I didn't want to lie and make up some bullshit, I knew trying to deflect her would be completely ineffective and I really, really didn't want to tell her the truth.

Except I did. But I didn't. Fuck me.

I tightened my grip on the steering wheel. The snow was already piling up and I had to use a good bit of my concentration to focus on driving at highway speeds, but the storm was causing traffic to slow down for safety's sake. I was grateful for the respite.

“Karin?” Misaki pressed. Her brilliant emerald irises transfixed me, piercing right through my sarcastic and cynical outer shell and striking the gooey squishy mess of a hopeless romantic beneath.

“... yes,” I mumbled, almost under my breath. Berating myself mentally again for my cowardice, I merged into the right-hand lane to take the exit leading to the main street near my apartment.