Bourbon Street Blues (14 page)

“Holly…” The whispered word was like a prayerful sigh.

Lips on his, soft, demanding. Her scent filled him—but it was all wrong. Too thick. Too harsh.

His eyes flew open and he stared up at Frannie. Her hands were at his shoulders, and she straddled him, naked, a pleased smile on her face.

He blinked at her a couple dozen times and tried to bring his mind into focus. To drag himself out of the dream and into the all-too-real world. Once he had, he pushed her off him, jumped out of bed and stared at her as if he’d never seen her before.

“What the hell are you doing? How did you get in here? Why?”

Sighing, she said, “You’re a creature of habit, Parker. You still keep a spare key in the flower bed on the right side of the porch.” Frannie pouted as she stretched out in his bed, laid her head on the pillow and smoothed both of her hands up and down her
shapely body. “Now, is that any way to talk to your wife?”

“What’re you playing at Frannie?” He hurled the question at her while he reached for the robe he’d left at the end of the bed. He tugged it on, then yanked the sheets over the naked woman in his bed.

Once upon a time, he’d looked at her as she was now and felt desire. A quickening he’d hoped would contribute to making their life together a good one. Now all he felt was disgust. He wanted nothing more than to go take a shower. First, though, he had to get her the hell out of his house.

She clutched the sheet to her and sat up, tossing her hair back from her face. “I can remember a time when you weren’t so eager to get out of our bed, Parker.”

“Too long ago to think about, Frannie. What the hell are you up to?”

“Fine,” she snapped, thrusting the sheet aside and rising. She walked slowly to the chair in the corner of his bedroom, where she’d tossed her clothes after sneaking into his room.

Note to self: change the locks.

“Only woman you want now is that cheap little redhead, is that it?”

A surge of protectiveness welled up in him. “What do you know about Holly?”

She laughed, but the sound had no music to it. No warmth. “A lot more than you, I’m willing to wager.”

“If you’ve got something to say, say it and get out.”

She whirled around, fingers buttoning up her silk blouse and then pulling up her skirt and zipping it closed. “Oh, I’ve got plenty to say. You want to throw me aside for that little bitch? Well, let me just fill you in on a few things, Parker,
honey
.”

She talked, her voice spitting out information, dates, places, times. She described every piece of information her private detective had turned up about Holly’s past, and as she talked, Parker felt…
what?
He couldn’t be angry that Holly hadn’t told him. Neither of them had talked much about their past, but he knew enough about her childhood to understand she had done what she’d had to do to survive.

When Frannie wound down, she delivered the final salvo that cut his legs out from under him.

“The funniest part, Parker?” she taunted as she snatched up her purse and headed for the bedroom door. “I wanted you back. I wanted to make our marriage work. So I offered her cash to leave you the hell alone. Told her I’d buy her that damn house she wants so badly if she’d just turn her back on you.” Her smile was triumphant. “And you know what, honey? Your little tramp took the money.”

Parker’s world rocked.

“That’s right.” Frannie smiled serenely, clearly enjoying herself. “She latched right on to my bribe. Took the money for that dump almost before I could get the offer out of my mouth. So,” she added thoughtfully, “if you’re tossing me aside to make room for her in your life, you’re fresh outta luck, sweetie. She made her choice. She threw you over for a broken-down old building and a half-baked dream. Now, how’s
that
make you feel, honey?”

Parker watched her go, but hardly noticed, really. It was hard to concentrate on what was going on around you when the thing you feared most might just turn out to be true.

Damn it.

Rage and disappointment crowded together in his guts. Only one thing kept him from giving in to despair completely: Frannie was a liar. But even acknowledging that, he had to ask himself if Holly really had only been interested in him for his money.

And the pain of that possibility crippled him.

D
AYS LATER
,
and Parker still couldn’t get that last conversation with Frannie out of his mind.

Hell, what right did he have to be doubting Holly? Wasn’t he the one who’d pulled back? When Holly had told him she loved him, wasn’t he the one who had practically scrambled away from her? Away from the risk? The danger?

So why was he so damned torn to find out that none of it had been real? Shouldn’t he have been happy to know that she was willing to be bought off and walk away from him without a second thought?

Sitting in his car outside the ramshackle old house Holly had taken him to only a week ago, he stared at the sold sign hanging on the front gate.

His last hope had been that Frannie had lied. But here was the proof. The house was sold. Holly had made her choice, and clearly, her “love” for him had
been as nebulous as the promises Frannie had once made to him.

Slapping one hand against the steering wheel, he told himself he should be glad. Should be happy as hell he’d escaped unscathed. But the problem was, he hadn’t. He was hurt. His heart was more battered now than it had been when his marriage had dissolved.

His jaw tight, his gaze furious behind his dark glasses, Parker knew he’d never be able to put all this behind him until he talked to Holly face-to-face.

“And by God,” he whispered, “she’s going to have to look me in the eye and admit that it was all a lie.”

He threw the car into gear and stomped on the gas pedal. It was Friday, which meant she’d be singing at the Hotel Marchand tonight. He could wait a few hours. But when she took her break, he’d be talking to her in her dressing room. Didn’t matter if her personal guard was there or not.

Nobody was going to keep him from talking to Holly tonight.

“G
IRL
,” T
OMMY SAID
as he walked Holly to her dressing room for a mid-set break, “you sure you’re feeling well enough to do another set?”

“I’m fine, honest.” She forced a smile she knew he needed and took a long, deep breath. “I’m not
sleeping very well, is all. I just need to sit for a bit, then I’ll be raring to go again.”

“I don’t like this.”

“I know.”

Tommy and Shana both had been at their wit’s end since she’d told them about the baby a few days ago. But once the shock had passed, they’d rallied to her side, just as they always had. The two people in the world Holly knew she could count on had come through for her again.

“You know I’m no big fan of Parker James,” Tommy said, seeing her into her dressing room and watching while she sat. “Still think it was a big mistake to get involved with his kind in the first place.”

“His kind?” she asked, smiling.

“You know what I mean. He’s rich. Born rich. They’ve got different ways of looking at things, Holly. Different ideas on how things should be.”

“He’s not like that,” she said, though her heart wasn’t really convinced.

Maybe Parker
was
the kind of man Tommy believed him to be. He’d shut her out the minute she’d admitted to loving him. He’d sent his estranged wife over to her home to scare—or buy—her off. What kind of man would do that?

Certainly not the man she’d thought she had known.

“Doesn’t really matter one way or the other,” Tommy said quietly. “My point is, whatever the hell kind of man he is, he’s got a right to know about his child.”

“Tommy—”

“I mean it, little girl. A man’s going to be a father, he’s got a right to be panicky about it.” He cupped her cheek in his palm and looked down into her eyes with love that surrounded Holly like a warm blanket on a cold night. “He might do nothing. Might not give a good damn, and if he doesn’t, then he’s even worse a man than I believed him to be.”

She sighed.

“But…” Tommy insisted, “he’s got the right to know. And you’ve got the obligation to tell him.”

“I’ll think about it. I promise.”

He nodded slowly and straightened. “That’s the best I can ask for right now, so I’ll take it.” He turned toward the door. “Now you sit and rest for a while. I’ll have Leo send you some tea.”

F
IVE MINUTES LATER
Holly sipped at her tea and thought about what Tommy had said. Maybe she did owe Parker the truth. If nothing else, she could thank him for the child she already loved desperately.

Then she could truly move on with her life.

Her stomach did a quick spin and lurch, and she took another slow sip of tea. The moment she’d realized she was pregnant, her stomach seemed to have turned on her. Not just morning sickness, this was all-day nausea. A constant reminder that her life was changing. That nothing would ever be the same again.

And she was grateful.

Amazing, really, how different a baby no bigger than a grain of rice could make a person feel. The skies looked bluer, the future looked richer and the present, despite the pain of Parker’s loss, was filled with possibilities.

Parker.

She stared into the mirror over her dressing table and whispered, “It’s okay, baby. We’ll be fine. You’ll see. I promise I will love you so much you won’t even miss having a daddy.”

Swallowing hard, she ran a brush through her hair and checked her makeup. She only had fifteen minutes left on her break and she had to be ready for her second set.

When a knock sounded at the door, she assumed it was Tommy and called, “Come on in.”

In the mirror, her gaze locked with Parker’s as he stepped into the room and stopped. Over his
shoulder, she glimpsed Tommy’s concerned expression before Parker closed the door quietly.

How could she be both happy to see him and so furious she wanted to kick him?

“Parker.” Just saying his name again sounded bittersweet. “What’re you doing here?”

“We need to talk.”

“I don’t think so.” She spun around on her chair and looked up at him. “I think we’re all real clear on where we stand.”

“I need to hear it from you.” He practically ground out the words.

“And why should I care about what you need?”

“Damn it, Holly—”

“Don’t you curse at me, either,” she snapped, and stood. If the world at the edges of her vision went a little wobbly, she wouldn’t let him know it. “Blast you, Parker. If you didn’t want me in your life, all you had to do was say so. You think I couldn’t see for myself that you weren’t interested in me saying
I love you?
You think I didn’t see the panic in your eyes?”

“Still can’t believe you bothered to say it,” he muttered.

“Well, I’m kicking myself for it now, trust me,” she pointed out.

“That’s what it all boils down to, isn’t it?” he asked wryly.
“Trust.”

“Ha!” Setting her iced tea down on the table behind her, she glared up at Parker and again fought the urge to kick him. “You’re talking to me about
trust?
”

“Don’t see why you’re so mad. You got everything you ever wanted, didn’t you?”

“You don’t see why I’m
mad?
” Her voice hit a note she was pretty sure only dogs would be able to hear, but she couldn’t seem to stop herself from shrieking.

“What the hell are you yelling about?” he demanded.

“Your amazing gall, that’s what.” Holly paced three quick steps before turning in the closet-size room and walking back to stop in front of him. “You speak to me of trust when you send your bitch of a wife to my home? To my
home?
”

“What?” His brows pulled together and pure confusion was etched into his features.

It was, Holly thought, a damn good act. If she hadn’t already known the truth, he might have convinced her. But she did know and she didn’t have a problem reminding him what had happened.

“She hired a detective, Parker. She paid a stranger to dig into my life. To turn it over and give it a good
shake.” The thought of Frannie discussing her life with Parker was unbearable. “Did you two have a good laugh over it? Did you enjoy reading about me being arrested? Make you feel superior? Well, I make no apologies for my past, Parker. Not to you. Not to any of your rich friends, either.”

“Yeah?” He countered, grabbing her hand and holding on to it. “You think I give a good damn about you being arrested on Mardi Gras? Or when you were a kid? I don’t. So how about an apology from you for selling me out to Frannie? Feel up to that?”

“What’re you talking about?”

“She told me.” He let her go, shook his head and stared at her as if he’d never seen her before. “She told me all of it. How she offered to buy you that big old house if you’d just stay away from me. And she told me just how fast you accepted the offer.”

“That’s crazy.” Confusion rippled through her. What was going on?

“Is it?” he demanded. “I told myself she was lying until I went by the house today. There’s a big sold sign hanging on the gate.”

“Of course there is,” Holly snapped. “I just bought it.”

“And all you had to do to get it was sell me out. If you needed money that badly, you should have
asked me. There was no need for all the romance. No need to deal with Frannie.”

He looked as cold as his soon-to-be ex-wife. His eyes were frosty and his tone was harsh. Was he hurt? Or just angry? Hard to tell.

“You’re crazy,” Holly said flatly. “I told you before, I never wanted your money. I didn’t want anything from you.”

“But you were willing to take money from Frannie?”

“I wouldn’t take a glass of water from that woman if I was on fire in the pits of hell,” Holly said hotly. Spinning around, she rummaged through the stuff piled on the only other chair in the little room until she came up with her purse. Rummaging inside it, she finally found her checkbook, flipped it open and thrust it at him. “Here. Look for yourself. I wrote a check to the escrow company myself yesterday.”

He took it, studied the neat figures written in black ink for a long moment, then looked at her again. “I don’t understand.”

“I’m getting that. Take a good look at the balance left. I used almost every dime I had to buy that house,” she snapped. “You think I’m so small I’d take a bribe from a woman I wouldn’t trust to tell me the time of day? You think I would sell myself, my
body,
for a chance at your bank account?”

She stuffed the checkbook back into her purse. When she spoke, her voice was cold. “Well, let me tell you something, Parker. I don’t need you. And I don’t whore myself for anyone or anything. I’ve worked like a dog for the last ten years, saving every penny I could round up. I’ve got a down payment on that house. Barely. But I did it myself. I didn’t need your money, Parker.” All of the air left her body in a rush. “I thought I just needed you.”

He looked into her eyes for a long minute before finally whispering, “You’re telling the truth, aren’t you?”

She smiled wistfully. “I’m surprised you recognize it.”

“God,” he muttered, shoving both hands through his hair. “I’m an idiot.”

“You’ll get no argument from me.”

Parker wiped one hand across his face and looked as miserable as a man could be. Shoulders slumped, he thrust both hands into his pants’ pockets and braced his feet wide apart.

“I kept pulling back from you, Holly,” he admitted. “Every time you got a little too close, I shut down. Told myself to keep my heart out of it. To enjoy what we had but not look for anything more.”

“I know that,” she whispered, heart breaking. “What I don’t know is why.”

“Because I’m an idiot,” he said, sounding confused. “All I knew for sure was that Frannie and I made each other miserable. I wasn’t interested in getting that involved again. I wanted to avoid feeling too much—to risk the kind of hurt and disappointment I’d already lived with.”

“Oh, Parker,” Holly said, reaching out one hand to lay it against his chest. Beneath her palm, she felt the strong, sure beat of his heart and knew that it was finally time to tell him the truth. To tell him what she’d seen the night before his marriage.

“You know,” she said softly, “I’ve wondered over the years if I shouldn’t have told you this before you married Frannie. Maybe things would have been different for you.”

“Told me what?” Confusion clouded in his eyes.

She took a breath and said, “The night before your wedding, I showed up at the reception hall to drop off my music and to—” She waved one hand in the air and admitted “—doesn’t matter why I was there. The point is that I wasn’t alone.”

“What’re you trying to say?”

“I walked in on Frannie and her lover—making love on a tabletop.”

Parker blinked. “Her lover? She was with someone the night before we got married?” He gave a harsh laugh. “Well, hell. That explains a lot, doesn’t it? She had no intention of trying to make the marriage work, did she?” Shaking his head as if to clear his brain, he demanded, “Who was he?”

“Wasn’t a
he
at all, Parker,” Holly told him with a wince. “Frannie was with her maid of honor. Justine DuBois.”

“Justine?” He didn’t look as surprised as Holly thought he might. “I never knew…I should have, I guess. All those shopping trips they used to take together. The long phone calls. The whispered conversations.”

“Parker, you were willing to give your marriage a try, to make it work,” she reminded him. “It’s not your fault that you were with a woman who could never love you the way you wanted her to.”

“Why’d she even go through with it?” he muttered, more to himself than to her. “Was it just for the money? The prestige?”

“I don’t know,” Holly said. “Maybe she doesn’t even know.”

“Man, I feel like an idiot,” he said, a rueful smile on his face.

“Maybe I should have told you back then,” she admitted.

“Water under a broken bridge, Holly.” He shrugged. “Besides, I might not have believed you. Back then, I was convinced that Frannie and I could make a go of it.”

Pulling his hands from his pockets, Parker cupped her face between his palms.

“But I’m not that man anymore. I’m seeing things clearly now. Maybe for the first time in my life. I’m so sorry, Holly,” he whispered, hoping to make her see all that he was feeling. All that he was now no longer hesitant to share. And dear God, he prayed that he wasn’t too late. That he hadn’t lost the chance at something amazing because of his own fears.