Boy in a Band (A Morgan Mallory story) (15 page)

             
“Not until you kiss me,” he said.

“No
,” I laughed, still pulling away.

             
He tightened his grip on my wrist, pulling me toward him right off the desk.

“Mathew
,” I said, still laughing as my feet reached the floor.

He
caught my chin with his free hand and forced me away from focusing on my release, and I stared at him. I knew he was going to get his way.

             
“God damn you, Mathew,” I said quietly.

He kissed me softly at first and then with more passion. I didn’t even think
no
. I wanted it, had all afternoon. I knew these moments were always on Mathew’s terms or not at all. I could feel my heart racing, my body responding. I thought about Ann or someone else opening the door again and then forgot about it. When he kissed me, all I could do was focus on him. I slid my hand into his still-wet hair and pulled him to me. Without taking my jacket off, he untied my halter-top and ran his hands up over my breasts. My breath caught in my throat.

“Um
m,” he murmured in my mouth.

I ran my hands from his hair down his back, feeling
his muscles through his T-shirt. Ever since the one night at the party I’d longed to feel him like this, have him feel me, kiss me like he meant it. When I got to his jeans, I shoved both hands down his pants, surprised he had no underwear on, I grabbed his ass. This was another first for me, waves of desire washed through me. So intense, it was almost frightening. I pushed my pelvis into him, pulling him into me at the same time feeling his hardness. His kissing became more abandoned, his hands covering my breasts kneading them gently. I reached around to unbutton his jeans just as we heard Sam talking in the hall. I stopped, turning my back to the door as I quickly re-tied my halter-top. Then breathed a sigh of relief as the voices moved away. When I turned around, he smiled, the one that could make me melt.

“That was nice
,” he said.

             
I couldn’t pull my eyes away from him.

             
“You want some of this?” he asked, hooking his fingers in his belt loops, his hands resting right in front of his crotch.

             
I looked down. If I wanted it or not, it wouldn’t make a difference, not today, not here. There was too much going on around us for us to just fuck in his room, although I wanted to. My mouth was dry. I looked back into his eyes.

             
“You obviously wanted some of this,” I said, cupping both my breasts.

             
I felt powerful, powerful I could get him going like that, make him hard with just kissing. He’d denied the attraction, but he was full of shit. I couldn’t blame our physical attraction on being high. He smiled and the butterflies in my stomach lurched forward.

             
“You still have a girlfriend,” is all I could think to say.

I couldn’t help but wonder if Mathew skipped the party to stay with me. He never wanted to be questioned about his motives, so I didn’t. I tried to wrap my mind around my current feelings for Mathew and our relationship. I understood what it looked like, but it wasn’t exactly that. No matter how much or how often I thought about it, I couldn’t understand his hold on me. I wondered why I let things like this happen. As foolish as I thought this was, I decided if this was how our relationship was to work. I would take it.

If I couldn’t have the emotional piece of his love, I’d take the physical piece. I would take all I could get from him. In a very strange way I had more than his girlfriends did, he confided in me more than even Bobby now.

Chapter 1
8

June went fast and beach vacation was coming. I couldn’t wait to see everyone and just spend time at the ocean where I felt free and happy. We’d been at various parties where we had seen some of the group, but we hadn't all been together since the ski trip. I was looking forward to hanging with the girls and enjoying the independence the beach offered us. Of course Mathew would be there too. Mathew and Bobby would be off on their own although, as of late, they were more willing to let me hang, especially Mathew. Instead of avoiding me or running off, they had started to include me.

We arrived mid-day and unpacked. Cocktail hour, as well as dinner, would be at our beach house the first night—my parents had reserved the same house, so Melanie and I hung out together on the beach in the sun, the other kids joining us as they arrived.

“It’s hard to believe it’s already been a year,” I said lazily.

“I know,” Melanie sighed.

“Everyone’s growing up.”

“High school for you next year, holy cow,” she said.

“Don’t want to think of next year, just want to relax and enjoy this week, get tan,” I said.

I had turned over onto my stomach and was resting my chin in my hands, relishing the feel of the sun on my body, when I noticed Bobby and Mathew body surfing further down the beach. Both of them had grown and filled out; Mathew was looking exceptionally good from all the training he was doing for football.

I thought back over the last few months and wondered why he hadn’t tried anything since that get-together at his house. We had been together several times in between, and I was sorry he hadn’t. I wasn’t sure where he was currently in his relationship—he and Brenda were on and off so many times. I closed my eyes. I thought about his kiss, his touch. “You want some of this?” he’d asked;
Yes I do
I imagined myself saying, as I unbuttoned his pants.

“Ohhhh,” I shouted, arching my back as cold ocean water was splashed across me.

              My eyes flew open and I flipped over to find Mathew holding an empty yellow plastic bucket, the kind kids get with the shovel at the drug store. The other kids were laughing. I’d been daydreaming, about him nonetheless, and hadn’t heard him approaching. I looked from his hands to his face.

             
“Mathew!” I shouted half-laughing.

             
“You looked like you needed some cooling off,” he chuckled.

             
If he only knew… I'd totally needed cooling off.

             
“He got you good,” Pat laughed.

             
“Have you been out scaring little children in order to steal their bucket?” I teased.

“He borrowed it from there,” Bobby laughed pointing to a half-built sand castle down by the water.

             
I looked and saw no one there. I actual liked his playful side, but only to a point. Sometimes he didn’t know how to shut off the little boy in him.

             
“Make sure to take it back. You’re so bad.”

             
“Aw,
bad boy
, huh?” Mathew said as he spread his legs slightly digging his feet into the hot sand and dropping the bucket. “I think you like the bad boys.”

             
“Don’t flatter yourself,” I said as I sat up and crossed my legs Indian-style.

Bobby laughed again
as I wiped myself down with my hands.

“You guys looked lik
e you were having fun out there,” I said, looking toward the water.

             
“We were. The surf is good right now,” he said.

He l
owered himself onto my towel while Bobby sat down in the sand. Typical, he didn’t ask, he just did.

             
“Tonight let’s get a bonfire together in front of your house. We all need to look for wood before it gets dark,” Mathew said.

“S’mores,” Sara called out.

“I think my mom brought the stuff,” Melanie said.

We
talked awhile longer and then we broke up to look for wood. I went with Mathew and Bobby, and we found driftwood that we dragged up in front of the beach house. Pat and the other kids were bringing wood back to the pile as well. By the time we were through there was a lot of wood. Bobby dug a shallow pit with a shovel he’d grabbed off our deck. As the other kids headed out to shower the three of us loaded a portion of the wood into the pit.

“There, done,”
Bobby, said wiping his hands together to get the sand off.

“Should be more than enough for tonight,” I said.

I looked at Mathew and he grinned at me. They had included me and I felt my heart flutter.

             
“We’re off to shower. Two sexy dudes will be coming back shortly,” Mathew said, reaching out and running his fingers softly along my chin in an affectionate way.

             
“Oh, puh-lease,” I laughed, pulling away.

             
The two boys looked at each other and shrugged like there was some secret thing they knew about his action that I didn’t.

“See you in awhile
,” I said, heading toward the house.

I showered and
blow-dried my hair, making it hang straighter and then put on a pair of cut-off jean shorts with a red-and-white kerchief blouse that tied up just under my breasts like Daisy Mae, leaving most of the buttons undone. I smiled, knowing Mathew would notice.

I wanted to look sexy, tease him, make him want me. I’d realized I did have a little power
over him, even if he didn’t take it; I wanted him to see it. I could tell when he looked at me whether I was getting to him or not. I put on mascara and brushed a bit of bronzer on my cheeks. Finally I put on pale pink lip-gloss. I pushed my hair back as I checked my appearance one last time.
Yep, he couldn’t not notice.

When I came downstairs
, the sun was setting; glorious colors swirled together in the sky, the sun just touching the water. I could still see the heat rising from the sand, the blurry look it got when you looked from an angle. Even though the air was getting cooler, the sand still held the suns warmth. I breathed in the smell of the lasagna I knew was in the oven.

Some of the adults and some of the kids were mingling on the patio
, and I went out the back door to join them. Pat and Sam were sitting on the bench across the patio, their backs to the house looking out at the beach. There were numerous conversations going on drowning out the ocean waves. I heard my mom laugh along with several adults. Melanie and Sara were seated on a lounge chair together. Melanie had on a sundress with big orange flowers and Sara wore jean shorts and a cute green top that puckered at the bottom. I got myself a Coke from one of the ice chests and sat down on the lounge next to them.

“Who you d
ressing up for?” Melanie asked.

             
“I think for Mathew,” Sara whispered under her breath.

             
“Not,” I said.

             
Unfortunately I didn’t hide it well and, although we didn’t talk about it, they all sort of alluded to something between us. I shifted back into the lounge feeling like I might have gone overboard since they’d noticed right away. I saw Mathew and Bobby coming down the sidewalk. Mathew had on a pair of white shorts, his light blue shirt left open halfway down his chest in a sort of sloppy sexy way. Bobby was dressed in a purple T-shirt and jean shorts. Leave it to Mathew to rock it. I straightened myself a bit in the lounge, pulling my shoulders back.

             
“Hey, guys,” he said as he walked up to the three of us.

             
“Hey,” we said in unison.

             
His face was tan, intensifying his blue eyes.
Shit, why did I find him so hot still?
As I stared at him, he looked me over.
God damn it, Mathew, could you be any more obvious
? When he caught my eye, he gave me a knowing smile. I cocked my head and brushed back my hair, giving him a sexy smile.
Two could play this game.

He walked over to the coolers
, opened the adult one, and pulled up a beer.

“
Drink anyone?” he asked.

             
We all looked at him in shock, but none of the adults were even paying attention I noticed. They were lost in their cocktailing and chitchat.

             
“Kidding,” he said, putting the beer back and grabbing a 7Up out of the other cooler. “That’s for later.”

             
“Grab me one of those,” Bobby said.

I knew
Mathew wasn’t kidding about beer later; he’d get it somehow. He plopped himself on the lounge chair next to me and kicked up his legs, making himself comfortable. Bobby sat down close to Pat on the bench with his back to the beach facing us.

             
“So what’s up?” Mathew asked casually.

             
It was unusual to have Mathew and Bobby join us early so I was pleasantly surprised. As we sat and talked, more of the group arrived. More kids joined in the noise level rose and ultimately we were sort of kicked down to the beach by the growing number of adults who moved to the patio with cocktails.

I walked down to the water's edge, enthralled with the sunset,
watching as the sun, like a big round fireball, slowly sank into the ocean. A small amount of haze, or smog, reflected the light just so to create a thin layer above the water, all red and purple and orange. It spread as far as you could see in both directions. It was so beautiful.

“Pretty
,” Mathew said, coming up behind me.

             
He was close enough I could feel the electricity between us. I breathed in deeply.
Why did I never tire of that smell?

“Thank you
,” I said.

             
“I meant the sunset, but you too,” he chuckled.

“You’ll play tonight by the fire
, won’t you?” I asked.

“Yep,
I need to go back and get my guitar, though. You want to walk?”

             
“Okay,” I said, as my stomach tightened and the butterflies leapt into my throat.

I was surprised
he asked me, and we started off together down the beach. I looked back to see if Bobby was going to follow, but he was talking to Pat and wasn’t paying us any mind.

             
“Where you guys going?” Sheryl shouted.

             
“To get my guitar,” Mathew shouted back over his shoulder.

We
strolled for a ways before he spoke again. I had the mad desire to take his hand in mine, but I didn’t. Sometimes pretending to him that I had no desire was best for me.

             
“You get all pretty for me, kid?”

              “Mathew, you are always trying to flatter yourself. I got pretty for me,” I said, pushing his shoulder.

             
“Never gave me a thought, did you?”

             
I pictured myself in the bathroom; every thought about my appearance had been about him.

             
“Nope,” I answered flippantly.

He looked over at me and gave me his sexy lazy grin letting me know he didn’t believe me.
The sand was warm under our feet, and I felt giddy being with him. Like a baby goat when it plays, all bucking and jumping, but on the inside. When we got to the condo, he went straight to the refrigerator.

             
“Want a beer?” he asked, pulling two out.

             
“We can’t be gone too long, dinner’s soon,” I said, my voice breaking as he handed me the beer.

             
“You nervous, Morgan?” he asked.

             
He said it in a challenging sort of way, a sexual challenge, and it didn’t sit well with how I’d been feeling. I stared into his eyes as I pulled the tab from my beer.

             
“You’re frickin' kidding me, right?”

             
I wasn’t afraid to be alone with him; I wanted to be alone with him. I wanted to shout that at him, wanted him to roughly pull me into his arms like I’d dreamed about.

             
“No. You're nervous because mommy’s not just down the hall?” he said, acting smart.

             
This Mathew was the one that always threw me; I didn’t understand his attitude. I turned to face him dead-on, my legs slightly apart and my feet firmly planted. I flipped back my hair with my free hand.

             
“I’m not nervous to be with you, shit head. What are you gonna do?” I said, challenging him.

He smiled
and then took a sip of beer. I was tense. I wanted to be with him. I wanted him to touch me, kiss me, here was a chance. He watched me while I stared him down. I slowly raised the can of beer to my lips and took a sip not breaking my lock on his eyes. He took several swallows, still not breaking our gaze. My body was sort of stiff, I could feel the tension, and I couldn’t decipher if it was the don’t-fuck-with-me type or sexual.
What was he thinking?
Then he broke it and set his beer down on the counter and disappeared, returning with his guitar. He finished his beer and grabbed another.