Brangelina (17 page)

When
US Weekly
asked bluntly if he and his sister had ever slept together, Haven said, “That’s sick,” before adding that in fact the pair hadn’t slept together since he was seven and she was five. “I think we fell asleep in our mom’s bed while we were watching television,” he said.

Jolie, on the defensive, tried to use her notorious reputation for outspokenness to prove that the rumors couldn’t be true. “The thing is, if I were sleeping with my brother, I would tell people I was,” she insisted. “People know that about me.” The strategy wasn’t entirely effective, judging by the fact that the more the siblings denied it, the more reporters brought it up. The
New York Observer
even coined a new term to describe Jolie: “Incest chic.”

The repeated denials had clearly not impressed the hosts of the
Early Show
, who brought up the relationship once again after the story about the
Elle
photo shoot broke.

M
C
E
WEN
: She’s real smart, says exactly what she thinks. That’s why she said that whole thing with her brother … this was in
Elle
maybe … I don’t know where I saw it.

C
HEN
: You’re reading
Elle
?

M
C
E
WEN
: Well, I read what’s on …you know, if somebody’s on the cover I find interesting …

G
UMBEL
: They didn’t have
Glamour
.

M
C
E
WEN
: Yeah, right. I kind of like
Glamour
myself. But she said she’s very … people know she’s very honest, and she says exactly what she thinks. And was just hugging her brother. Give me a break.

C
LAYSON
: Hugging him? She gave him a big wet kiss.

M
C
E
WEN
: Well, I don’t know how wet that kiss was. She did kiss him.

C
LAYSON
: It was wet. Whoa. It was a … whoa.

M
C
E
WEN
: But you know what’s funny?

G
UMBEL
: It was a tonsil lock.

M
C
E
WEN
: Well, I don’t know about that. But she kissed her brother and all of America went, “Hmm.” They came right forward.

C
LAYSON
: Who kisses their sibling on the lips like that?

G
UMBEL
: Folks that … never mind. I shouldn’t do that.

C
HEN
: Yeah. But I know I’m right with you.

M
C
E
WEN
: Don’t say it.

C
LAYSON
: Don’t go there.

C
HEN
: And it’s more than just kissing.

C
LAYSON
: Whoa.

It was still too early to tell how the constant chatter about incest would affect Jolie’s career in the long term. Her current project,
Dancing in the Dark
, had just wrapped, and she had already signed to do the high-budget action flick,
Lara Croft:Tomb Raider
. Her immediate acting prospects weren’t in jeopardy, but the box-office returns of her next release could make or break her career.

Jolie’s management was nervous. The decision was quietly made to keep as much distance between Jolie and her brother as possible, a decision that the pair reluctantly went along with. They were never to be photographed together in public, but it is also clear that Haven was expected to distance himself from his sister completely, publicly as well as privately. Jolie would later claim that he had decided on that course of action himself.

The damage had already been done, however. If Angelina Jolie’s career was to be salvaged from the public-relations fiasco of “incestgate,” it would take more than half measures. The public’s perception of her would have to be changed for good. It appears that Jolie was well on her way to making that happen.

It’s unlikely that the world will ever discover the truth about whether Angelina Jolie and her brother ever had a sexual relationship. But as a biographer trying to make sense of her life and career, I felt I had to at least try to explore the possibility instead of dismissing it out of hand. And, while a good number of people believed the two may have indeed taken their affection for each other way beyond healthy limits, very few of them, no matter how bizarre and unconventional Angelina Jolie certainly was, could bring themselves to believe that she and James Havens would violate this most ancient of taboos. It was unthinkable.

Brother-sister incest is much more common than people think, however. In a 1980 study, published in the academic journal,
Archives of Sexual Behavior
, 796 undergraduates at six New England colleges and universities were surveyed, with fifteen percent of the females and ten percent of the males reporting some type of sexual experience involving a sibling. It’s not known, however, how much of this contact was consensual.

Part of the difficulty in determining the facts about consensual sibling incest is that virtually all the research in the field concerns sexual abuse. That is, coercion by one sibling over another rather than a consensual relationship. Another difficulty is that most countries have strict laws against brother-sister incest in any form, though many allow sexual relationships between cousins. In 1997, a Wisconsin brother and sister, Allen and Patricia Muth, were charged with committing incest. They were separated as kids, but when they met as adults, they fell in love and had children together. They were both convicted, Allen sentenced to eight years in prison, Patricia five. Meanwhile, in Europe, France, Belgium, the Netherlands, Spain, and Portugal no longer prosecute adults who are in incestuous relationships, while Romania is currently debating a law to decriminalize consensual incest.

The studies that have been done often focus on the psychological factors that motivate children to become involved in sibling incest. In a 1987 study conducted by the Boulder County Department of Social Services Sexual Abuse Team, twenty-five cases of sibling incest were studied over a three-year period to determine a set of common dynamics. According to the authors, the dynamics which were repeatedly observed throughout these cases were: (1) distant, inaccessible parents; (2) parental stimulation of sexual climate in the home; and (3) family secrets, especially with regard to extramarital affairs. It is not a stretch to say that the Voight-Bertrand household met most of these criteria.

Those who argue for the liberalization of incest laws usually say that consensual sibling relationships are not harming anybody. Dr. Paul Federoff, a forensic psychiatrist at Toronto’s Centre for Addiction and Mental Health, has for years treated adults who have had consensual incestuous relations with siblings. The day after Jolie’s Oscar-night kiss with her brother, Federoff told the
Globe and Mail
that, in his view, incestuous feelings between siblings, particularly among children and young adults, is “a common probability.” More surprisingly, he said it’s not necessarily a bad thing. “Sexual exploration and contact between young siblings is not uncommon or harmful provided there is not a huge age discrepancy or coercion,” he says. He emphasizes, however, that he doesn’t encourage incest between adult siblings. York University sociologist Ann-Marie Ambert also doesn’t view consensual sibling incest as a moral problem. “Personally, I don’t see anything wrong with it,” she has said.

Medical historian Edward Shorter begs to differ. He argues that the prohibition against incest goes far beyond legalities and is in fact a “genetic commandment.” “The general social castigation of incest has never been relaxed in any time or place,” he argues. “It is an iron biological law, like the law against murder. The consequences of any indiscretion against it are engraved in our DNA.”

Many experts, however, now take issue with the biological prohibition, arguing that this is largely based on the probability of birth defects and that the existence of reliable contraception means that this is no longer necessarily a factor. In addition, a number of experts take pains to distinguish consensual sibling incest from supposedly consensual parent-child incest where an uneven power-and-authority dynamic calls into question just how consensual such a relationship can ever really be. Recently, actress Mackenzie Phillips revealed that she had a “consensual incestuous” relationship for years with her late father John Phillips, founder of the Mamas and the Papas, but the fact that both father and daughter were drug addicts at the time makes her claim that it was consensual very questionable.

But what about a brother and sister roughly the same age? I was eager to meet with some siblings involved in consensual sexual relationships to get their perspective and to see whether they could shed any insight on what might have been going on with Jolie and her brother. Was their Oscar-night kiss really the moment that sibling incest came out of the closet? as one newspaper asked the next day. However, locating siblings who would be willing to talk about their relationship was easier said than done, I discovered.

Not surprisingly, the Internet has helped incestuous siblings find and communicate with each other, with countless forums and chat rooms acting as informal support groups. In such forums, siblings discuss their common ground as well as trying to educate society about what many believe is a harmless, even healthy, lifestyle.

In one of these incest forums, a man calling himself “JimJim2” discussed what happens when “two adults who just happen to be related get it on”:

You can’t help who you fall in love with, it just happens. I fell in love with my sister, and I’m not ashamed … I only feel sorry for my mom and dad, I wish they could be happy for us. We love each other. It’s nothing like some old man who tries to fuck his three-year-old. That’s evil and disgusting … Of course we’re consenting, that’s the most important thing. We’re not fucking perverts. What we have is the most beautiful thing in the world.

It appears as if the debate has continued in earnest all over the Internet. In an essay published on his blog, Anadder, for example, Michael Fridman outlines and demolishes most of the arguments against consensual sibling incest while still remaining queasy about the idea:

1.
It’s unnatural
—
The same old line’s been used to prove the immorality of homosexuality, interracial marriage, contraception etc. Sorry. The answer’s always “so what?” (being unnatural doesn’t make something bad) and “no it isn’t” (e.g., ten to fifteen percent of college students reported some childhood sexual contact with a brother or sister).

 

2.
It’s universally condemned
—This was also used against interracial marriage etc. Again: so what? And again: no it isn’t. It’s universal to have some kind of incest taboo, but the limits vary a lot. In many cultures it’s common for first cousins to marry (with up to fifty percent of marriages being between first cousins).

 

3.
It causes birth defects
—Finally a somewhat true statement (although apparently the best strategy is to actually marry your third cousin). But if that’s reason to outlaw incest we need to outlaw drinking/smoking during pregnancy (which we don’t and it would be a big deal to do this). We’d also need to prevent two carriers of a genetic disease from procreating. Finally despite what you hear on the news, we’re not living in the twelfth century. Sex ? babies. Two sisters having sex, or a heterosexual incestuous couple using contraception will demolish the argument.

 

4.
People who were brought up together shouldn’t be together
— Umm, because … ? I’ve heard this one before. It’s priceless, the ultimate non-sequitur. This suggests that two childhood friends should avoid romantic relationships. This of course happens very often. I’m not aware of studies suggesting such couples are psychologically/emotionally worse off than the average couple. This argument is grasping at straws.

 

5.
It makes me personally uncomfortable
—At last, the truth! Yes, it certainly does.

But Voices in Action, a U.S. support group for victims of incest, argues strongly that there is no such thing as “consensual incest.” “These teens have been brainwashed into believing this behavior is natural; it is not,” states the group. “Sexual abuse is learned behavior.” On the other hand, Dr. Sean Gabb of the British think tank Libertarian Alliance argues that “consenting incestuous behavior is no business of the state. It is up to individuals to make their own decisions.” Brett Kahr, a senior lecturer in psychotherapy at Regent’s College, London, argues that there is no proper research into the field of consensual sibling incest, writing, “Who are we to say that Joe Bloggs and his sister Jane Bloggs aren’t having a perfectly good relationship and we’re all missing out?”

If I was going to locate and meet with brothers and sisters who were having a sexual relationship, it appeared that the Internet was my best hope, but I was still in the dark about the logistics. Given the strict laws against incest, I wasn’t sure how I could convince anybody to talk to me without being suspected of trying to entrap them. Soon, however, I discovered a phenomenon that I never knew existed called Genetic Sexual Attraction (GSA), which has given rise to a number of easily accessible online forums.

GSA is defined as sexual attraction between close relatives, such as siblings or a parent and child, who first meet as adults. In other words, they have been separated at birth, for whatever reason, then later meet and date without knowing that they are related. Those who advocate for the rights of those who commit consensual incest argue that GSA is more prevalent than one might expect.

The most famous example is a German couple, Patrick Stübing, and his sister, Susan, who grew up separately and only met as adults. Patrick was arrested and imprisoned for violating Germany’s incest law, which he and his sister have been fighting to overturn for years, arguing that it hearkens back to the racial-hygiene laws of the Third Reich. But the Stübings are perhaps not the best poster children for consensual sibling incest because they have had four children together, two of whom are disabled, apparently as a consequence of inbreeding. Rather, the couple is probably a better argument to keep the prohibition against incest intact, since study after study shows a radically increased chance of birth defects and disabilities—as high as fifty percent in some cases— among children of incestuous siblings.