Braydon (19 page)

If Braydon was correct, which he was pretty sure he was, then Brendon was trying to make Cheyenne jealous. And he had been planning to use Jessie to do so.

What the hell had gotten into Brendon?

Never in their lives had Brendon used a woman. And certainly not to make another woman jealous. What was it about Cheyenne that had Brendon acting like a dumbass? What had the woman done to him? Braydon knew firsthand—thanks to Jessie—just how much a woman could fuck with a man’s head, but what Brendon was doing wasn’t acceptable. His brother was out of control.

“Thanks for the ride,” Jessie said, pulling Braydon from his thoughts. He hadn’t even realized that they had reached her house. That was only a little worrisome, especially since he was the one driving.

“You’re welcome,” he answered, but after coming to a complete stop he climbed out of the truck. He left the keys in the ignition and the engine running, but he wasn’t about to let Jessie walk to the door herself. He was raised to treat a lady right, and he wasn’t going to change that now. No matter what she said.

“You’re not coming in,” she argued when she flung her door open, although he hadn’t said anything.

When they met at the front of the truck, he put his hand on the small of her back and urged her toward the front door. She stiffened immediately.

“You’re not,” she said again, but Braydon ignored her.

Once they were on the porch, he waited for her to unlock the door. She didn’t. She just stood there staring at him.

“I’m not leaving until you’re inside, Jess.”

It was her turn to not speak and they stood there, staring at one another for a long time. The only light was that of the moon passing between the trees and the dim glow from a lamp inside, filtering through the big window overlooking the porch. Not enough for him to see Jessie’s expression clearly, but enough for him to know that she could feel the energy pulsing between them.

Three months or three years, Braydon wasn’t sure that the staggering attraction they harbored for one another would ever go away.

Maybe neither of them were capable of making rational decisions when it came to relationships, but he knew right then and there that he wasn’t giving up on this woman. No matter how much she wanted him to.

He couldn’t.

He loved her.

And Braydon took that seriously. He had never loved another woman in all his life. He’d been in plenty of relationships, mostly sexual, occasionally not, but never had he felt like this. Even after all those days of being away from her, the moment he laid eyes on her again it had been as though he had never left. His heart had her image imprinted on it, and another hundred years could pass but Braydon knew he would never be able to forget her.

“Braydon,” Jessie whispered.

Braydon realized he had taken a step closer. His hand was caressing her cheek and he was staring down at her. Her eyes were wide, her mouth slightly open, and Braydon wanted to kiss her more than he wanted to take another breath.

“Jess,” he said, losing the tenuous grip he had on his control. “Oh, God, Jess.” Braydon slid his hand behind her head, cupped her nape, and leaned down, pressing his lips to hers.

Fire erupted in his bloodstream; emotions he had just come to accept ripped through him, and he felt the physical remnants of the hold she had on his heart. And when she kissed him back, her hands sliding around his waist and then up his back, he wasn’t sure he would ever be able to pull away from her.

She was sweet, warm, and so fucking soft.

He tried to keep the kiss slow, gentle. He wanted to savor the way she went liquid in his arms. It registered that they were completely alone. No one waiting on the other side of a door, or in another room . . . They were alone. And he didn’t have to rush. This was a moment that would forever be emblazoned in his memory. There were no expectations of what was going to happen. No premeditated sexual exploits to be carried out.

This was a kiss. Pure and simple.

Braydon didn’t care what happened next, but he didn’t want to stop kissing her.

Jessie’s body pressed against his, her breasts crushed against his chest, her fingernails digging into his back while she tried to pull him to her. Braydon kept his hand at the back of her head, refusing to yank her closer because he didn’t want to ruin the moment. He tried to tell himself that he didn’t need more than this. Kissing her was better than breathing, better than sunshine after a weeklong rainstorm.

Yes. Yes, he had gone there. This woman made him wax poetic about fucking rainstorms and he didn’t even care.

Air was in short supply and he pulled back slightly, refusing to let her go. As he pressed his forehead to hers, he opened his eyes and looked at her. “Jess,” he said again. Her name was the only word he could come up with.

“What are we doing, Bray?”

He didn’t know, so he didn’t even try to answer.

“We can’t do this,” she finally said.

“We can,” he disputed, forcing his voice to work. “It doesn’t have to be tonight, Jess. But we
can
do this. We can make this work. If you want it bad enough.”

“Me?” she asked, and the warmth of her body was stolen from him as she let him go. “I’m not the one who made the rules. And I don’t want to play by them anymore.”

“There aren’t any rules,” Braydon informed her.

“Sure there are. Remember Brendon?”

Braydon sighed. Why did Brendon have to be brought into this? Braydon was tired of the incomplete relationships, the ones that were simply based on sex. That’s all he had ever known, and he didn’t want to go back to where they were when Brendon had been involved. He wanted to start over.
Shit.
If it came down to it, Braydon would rather be celibate than be in another meaningless sexual relationship like that.

Then again, it wasn’t her fault that Braydon had fallen in love with her.

Braydon moved to the wooden post that held up the roof above the porch as he stared out into the darkness surrounding them. He placed one hand on the smooth wood, the other on the back of his neck, trying to massage some of the tension out of the knotted muscles.

The only sounds were the crickets chirping in the underbrush, the lonesome howl of a coyote somewhere in the distance, and the steady rumble of his truck’s engine, which was, yes, still running. Oh, and the erratic thump of his own heartbeat.

“I’m sorry if I came between you and Brendon,” Jessie said faintly.

Braydon lifted his head to see her standing a few feet away, leaning against another one of the cedar posts.

“What are you talking about?”

“I never thought you would leave. I knew from the beginning that what the three of us had was supposed to be temporary. It went on too long, but I . . .” Jessie trailed off and Braydon waited for her to continue. He
needed
her to continue.

She didn’t.

“You what?”

“I got too comfortable,” she said.

That wasn’t what he wanted to hear.

“I enjoyed your friendship. And Brendon’s, too. It was easy to be around the two of you. And like it or not, the sex was amazing. But . . .” Jessie paused again. “Being with both of you . . . That was exciting at first. But I don’t think I’m capable of being in a relationship like that. My sister has managed to do it. But it isn’t for me. And I know that you and Brendon don’t have relationships without the other being involved.”

Braydon let go of the post and moved closer to Jessie. “Jess, that’s exactly what I want.”

“What? A relationship without him?”

“Yeah. Exactly that,” he told her. “I’ve been dying to have you all to myself, Jess.”

“But what about Brendon?” she asked.

“What about him? He’s a big boy. He can figure it out on his own.” Braydon glanced away briefly. “Not to mention, Brendon’s on a single-minded quest to win Cheyenne Montgomery, which might be an impossible feat. But I know Brendon. He’s not gonna stop until he gets her.”

Jessie nodded. “I’ve seen the way he looks at her.”

“This is new for us, Jess. Brendon and I have always done things one way. But then you came along and . . .” Braydon sucked in a deep breath, but before he could say anything more, Jessie spoke.

“I don’t want to come between the two of you,” she told him, her blue eyes sparkling in the light from the moon as she looked up at him.

“You won’t,” Braydon said. He wasn’t sure whether that was the truth, but he would make it work. If she gave him half a chance, he would prove his love to her. Prove to her that he could be the man she needed.

“He’s going to feel betrayed.”

“Doubtful. That’s not to say he won’t be pissed because things aren’t working out the way he planned, but it is what it is.” Knowing Brendon, especially the man he seemed to be now, he wasn’t going to give a shit. He seemed to have a one-track mind. And honestly, Braydon wasn’t particularly fond of the man his twin had become.

JESSIE WAS STILL
reeling from the kiss she’d shared with Braydon. Pulling away from him had been damn near impossible, and if it weren’t for the fact that she had to breathe, she never would have. But now, as he stared down at her, she felt her resolve slipping where he was concerned.

She had been serious when she’d told him he couldn’t come inside.

There was no way she was going back to the way things had been between them before he left. She didn’t want to find herself in his bed temporarily, and certainly not if it meant Brendon was going to be there as well.

It wasn’t because she disliked Brendon or that she hadn’t enjoyed their previous time together, but Jessie had moved on. At least from that part of her life. It had been fun, just like she told Braydon. The sex had been incredible, and she wouldn’t change what had happened even if she could.

But her feelings for Braydon had overpowered everything else, and in the end, she’d been left with a broken heart, even if she had intended to keep things casual going into it.

This man was capable of shredding her fragile feelings without even trying.

It didn’t change the fact that she was grasping hopefully at what he was saying. Could they make this work? Was it possible that they could move forward without moving back? And if that was the case, how did they go about it?

“Brendon will eventually understand, Jess. He knows how I feel about you,” Braydon explained.

It would still feel like a betrayal to her. She studied him for a moment and then asked the one question that had boggled her mind for longer than she cared to admit. “And how
do
you feel about me?”

Braydon stood up straight, backing away from her just a little. She could see some of the same emotions she’d witnessed before flitting across his handsome features. Brendon had told her that Braydon loved her. Was it true? Would he admit it if it was?

And if he did, what was she going to do about it?

Braydon turned away as he sighed.

“I never meant for it to happen, Jess. I knew, just like you did, that it was supposed to be temporary. Everything is temporary where Brendon is concerned. I don’t know how he ended up like that, or why he seems to think that he has to hold back, but I’m not like him in that regard.”

Jessie was listening, trying not to read between the lines. But even in doing that, she didn’t hear what she wanted to hear. “When did it stop being temporary for you?” she asked, pushing him to open up to her.

Not that she was being fair, because she had no intention of giving away her true feelings. Not yet anyway. This man had abandoned her—even if he didn’t see it that way.

“The first time I kissed you,” Braydon said, turning to face her again. “Everything changed from that moment forward, Jess. I . . .”

Jessie waited, holding her breath.

“I fell in love with you,” he said in a rush. “I didn’t mean to. I didn’t plan it. It just happened. I know I fucked things up for all of us, but I couldn’t stop what I was feeling.”

Jessie’s heart began an erratic beat, swelling with emotion and hope.

“I don’t know what that means for us,” he continued. “I just know that I can’t walk away from you again.”

“But you did once,” she reminded him, reminded herself.

Braydon gripped the back of his neck again and turned away. She could see the battle he was having internally, and she wanted to both comfort him and question him. She opted for questioning because until she had answers, she knew that they’d never get past this. Before she could get another inquiry out, Braydon continued.

“I didn’t want to leave you, Jess. I thought I was doing the right thing. Giving you space, giving Brendon space. But most importantly, I had to come to grips with what I was feeling and how I was fucking things up.” Braydon kept his head down as he went on. “I was being selfish. I know that now. I wanted—I
still
want—you all to myself. I don’t want to share you anymore. Not with my twin, who I’ve shared every other woman with; not with anyone. Can you understand that?”

She did. More than she wanted to admit.

“I don’t know how to fix this,” she told him, purposely not answering his question.

Braydon turned again, his hand falling to his side. She felt the penetration of his heated gaze fixed on her and she closed her mouth, swallowed.