Breach (The Blood Bargain) (19 page)

“From the rumors I’ve heard tonight I think it is a pretty big deal.”

“And do you always believe everything you hear?  I thought you trusted me.”  I paused for a moment to smile-fake smile as I was working myself into a conniption at the moment-and mouth a hello to Sam as she spun by with Ben.

“I do trust you, but you worry me
Liv.  You mean so much to me the thought of losing you is just overwhelming, an ache in my chest I can’t ignore.”

“Well smothering and mistrusting me is not a way to keep me, talk about self-fulfilling prophecies.”

“I’m not smothering.”

“You are mistrusting for sure.”  It churned my stomach to think that he could believe I’d date
Rylie behind his back, no not even behind his back, right in front of his face. Hell, the whole colony’s face.

We danced awkwardly, my eyes avoiding his whenever they met.  His grip on my waist oscillated from too tight to barely a touch, like he didn’t know whether to keep me or flee.

When the music stopped I’d had enough, I had to get away from him.

“Look I’m sorry, I didn’t want to ruin the night...can I get you something to drink.”

“Yeah, that’s fine.”  My guy opened his mouth to say something, and then decided against it with a huff.  Spinning the clasp on my angel pendant back around my neck I tried to take a few cleansing breaths while he walked away.  I had to tell myself that this was not the way he was.  That this behavior, erratic and controlling was because he truly cared for me and he worried, that’s all.  Cole looked back over his shoulder, shooting me a little half grin before disappearing into the crowd.  He was a sight; handsome and strong, fiercely loyal.

Then why does my chest ache when our eyes meet?

Standing there alone on the edge of the dance floor my rage seeped from my being, replaced with sadness.   Such a lovely evening to have it turn sour.  My eyes watched the crowd, not a glum face in the night.  Bodies danced, creating their own pattern of waves to match the torch flame.  The music bored optimism into our very souls, a Credence Clear Water revival tune.  Someone to the left of me shouted out the lyrics, an older woman who had probably had the song on LP thanks to a hand me down record from her mother, her arms wrapped around a man of the same age who held onto her waist with pride. 

A loving couple who had survived the end of the old modern world together as well as the beginning of a new one with as much adoration in their hearts as they had when big hair and eight tracks were the thing. 

Or at least that was the story I was making up. 

Watching them-while meant to improve my mood-did little to cheer me up.   I couldn’t see Cole and me, wrinkled and grey, smiling the night away in a loving embrace.   It was something I wanted desperately to be a reality, the family, the perfect husband, kids, dog and all the headaches that came with it.  It just seemed like we couldn’t get through a week without bickering over some of the stupidest mundane shit. 

It was funny, before the snow fell I had felt we were developing that special bond.  The one marked by a capital L.  We had been inseparable, absolute.  A team united on all fronts.  Since we’d been reunited by the thaw it felt like an invisible wedge had been thrust between us that made every small action an insult, and every discussion a war.

I didn’t think it was him, although it would be very easy for me to blame him.  Always easier to point at the other person rather than accept that it might be something internal that was undergoing metamorphosis.  If it’s the other persons fault, well then that makes you the victim.  The victim always gets it easy.  The sympathetic looks, the better luck next times, while the one who decided life wasn’t their cup of tea anymore gets the glares and harsh whispers. Lucky me to draw the glare card.  Perhaps it had something to do with the late night visits from Caius.  Or more likely, that every time Cole kissed me since we’d reconnected the only thing I could think about was
Dimitri.

Not think. 
Feel.

In those moments, it was as though he hadn’t left.  That whatever dark place he was in was illuminated by a single candle, allowing me a glimpse of what I’d lost, despite the pain the bright flame brought my eyes.

Since the first major event by that brick ranch there had been six distinct ‘episodes’ brought on by my proximity to Cole.  It made me yearn for his presence for all the wrong reasons, companionship overshadowed by a brief moment of clarity.  To know that whatever hell my Dimitri was lost to, he was still alive.  Yet at the same time, it made me feel horrid and manipulative to want such a thing.  So unapologetically resentful of the entire dramatic.

Thank you
vampnation for the mind screw. 

Cursing, I ran my fingers through my mahogany hair, trying to smooth out the locks that had started to frizz at the ends.  Resolved to right things with Cole when he returned with the liquor, I reiterated the play in my mind attempting to find a way to extrapolate on my condition without sending him into a fit of rage.

Perhaps I needed to wait until he was inebriated to have that talk…

The band had broken into the blue oyster cult classic don’t fear the reaper when I noticed he was taking an
unusually long time to get back.

I realized there was a shadow looming behind me, tall and wide statured.

“About time.  I was beginning to wonder where you w-“ Behind me was not Cole Marshall, but a man with long hair parted in the middle, hiding most of his facial features under ebony waves that leached into clothing, flesh became night.  Handsome and horrid, a living shadow.

“The man that hath no music in himself, nor is not moved to the concord of sweet sounds is fit for treasons, stratagems and spoils.”  Ice white gaze of his was locked on a man standing on the edge of the revelry, a wallflower drinking ale.

“Shakespeare?”  I murmured.

“Come to my home after your celebration.  I have something to discuss with you.”  He spoke to me quickly, his voice a thickly accented whisper.

“Caius, what?”

H
e was gone.

Searching in all directions
my eyes probed the blackness beyond the torchlight, his words bringing a strange waves of dread and anticipation to my already befuddled mood. 

“
Liv. Here hun.”  Cole Marshall extended a cup of ale in front of my face.  “You okay? Look like you’ve seen a ghost.” 

“Yeah.”  I lied, taking a large sip from the cup he handed me. “I am perfectly fine.”

“Well I hope so, you’re going to need all the amount of fine and patience you have for what’s coming our way.”  He nodded to the right.  Low and behold there was the last person I wanted to deal with this evening.  Zack Graham, with his all American good looks and biker dress code was headed our way.  Some overly excited blonde I didn’t know tucked under his arm like a teddy bear.  I couldn’t tell if she was there for support as he appeared to be listing on his feet, or to show off.

“Hey
Liv, how are you this fine evening?”

“Zack, looks like you’re enjoying the party.”  I nodded politely, my mind formulating a quick exit strategy; someone to
talk to, somewhere to be, hell even a song I wanted to dance to would work.

“Yep.  Surprised you made it.  What with being
sooo busy with your work and all.  I told my father it was a bad fit for you, after all women can’t make choices as quickly as a man can.  I heard you’ve had to work late every night this week.”  My jaw clenched, I tried to count to five.

“This would have paled in comparison to our wedding feast you know, but as you can see, I’ve moved on to bigger and better.”  The blonde giggled on cue, slightly arching her back to show off whatever assets she thought were hidden under that low cut green dress of hers.

“Good for you.  I’m glad you managed to find someone who could stand your company.” I was done with the little prince’s ego. Unfortunately, like a well-tuned watch, he chimed on time. Zack’s face flushed as I spoke, his chest puffing out in ill-gotten pride. 

“Least I’m not a disgusting
vamplover, what’s it like to kiss a dead man?”  The words rolled out of him in a wave of pure repulsion, each syllable more over pronounced than the last.

“Now look here…”  Cole tried to cut in.

“Far more appealing than your worthless ass.”  I snapped without thinking.

Zack pushed girl out from under him, crossing his arms indignantly.  “When my father hears about this you are going to-”

“No.”  I tried to formulate a friendly way to calm him down, but it just pissed me off more.  “No.  Screw this.  I am not in the mood for your egotistical idiotic bullshit tonight Zackary Graham.  So do me a favor and piss off!”  When I was done bellowing at him, I took the ale Cole had just given me and threw it in his face.  It was the second time in my life I had done something so cliché.  The first being when Ryan VanBelt had taken me to the sophomore dance and decided to interrupt a beautiful slow song to tell me we were really just there as friends. This time though, this time was far more justified. 

To add to my current achievement, his little over fluffed arm accessory’s face was slowly turning a deep red in embarrassment.  In less than two minutes she would be in the middle of a full blown hissy fit, full of screaming in my direction.

Before another syllable could be uttered I turned heel and left, attempting to disappear into the crowd.  My feet managed to weave through three jubilant couples before my knees quivered. 

“
Maaaan….the look on his face.” Cole was laughing beside me, although his facial expression made the jovial gesture seem questionable.

“Sorry.  He’s such a dick.”

“True that.  Combo package variety.  Both as big and little as they come.”

I snickered.  “Glad we agree.”

Cole wrapped his arms around me, his right hand rubbing a small circle on my back.  Leaning into him I tried to regain my balance. Force my racing heart to settle.  

“Isn’t this going to put you in hot water with the council?”  His lips mumbled into my hair.

“If they get in my face over throwing beer on a drunk at the Spring Festival well then they can shove their little council right up Daddy Grahams fat ass.”  I spoke into his shoulder, taking a deep breath full of his clean soapy scent.

“Whoa…he did get to you didn’t he?”

“No.”  Yes.

“Do you want to talk about earlier?”

“Huh?” Confused, I looked up at him. 

“The whole
Rylie thing?  Don’t tell me you’ve already forgotten.”

“Oh that.  Well, what is it you want to talk about?”

“You and him.”  I frowned.

“There is no me and him.”

“Well you apparently invited him here tonight…tell me why?”

“I didn’t.  Well, I did, but it wasn’t for me.  I wanted to fix him up with someone.”

“Who?”

“Candice.”

The blank look on his face didn’t change. Great. Him too.  “Who?”

“Candice.  You know…blonde, big boobs.  Dated your buddy Ben?  Candice?  She’s been my best friend for like a decade?”

“Real funny Liv.  You know, you could have just told me you wanted to bring him tonight. We could have had an open conversation about our relationship.  I thought you were wanting to make a move towards serious…then you pull this shit.”

“Cole…wait…I’m serious.”

“Every time I think I know you…I realize I don’t.  That sucks Evelyn.  Because you know. You know that I love you alright?”

“I know you do.”

“And you love me?”

“What?”

“Exactly.”  He dropped his hands from my shoulders immediately, turning on his heels he walked away.

“No wait.”  Cole didn’t stop.  “Hey get back here damn
it.”  I rushed to catch him, grabbing onto his forearm.

“Why?  So you can string me along some more?”

“It’s not that.”

“Then what?”
I didn’t know how to answer that.  I heard his question, I loved him as well.  I wasn’t sure why I answered in confusion.

Information overload.  It had to be.  There was just
too much going on at the moment.  Candice. Caius. Rylie then Zack.  I just felt like I was going to crack.  I took a deep breath, looked up into Cole’s angry blue eyes and tried to find my center.  The part of him that always anchored me back to reality.  On this night in the depths of those aqua pools between the white flecks nothing brought me solace.

“I do love you.”

“You do?”

“Yeah.  Not
Rylie.  No way.  Alright?”  I put my arms around his neck, pulling him in for a hug.

“And who the hell is Candice then?”  He muttered into my hair.

“Never mind…I guess I just had too much to drink.  Take me home?”

“Alright.”

Each step from the square to my house felt like an eternity.  I had nothing to talk about with Cole and as much as I hated to admit it, I needed to get rid of him quickly and find out what the hell was going on with Caius.  Despite the fact that he was holding my hand, it felt like there was a million miles between us.  Whatever connection I had with him being overridden by a combination of my frustration and my ever random panic attacks.