Break Away (14 page)

I hated myself for even thinking about it. I told myself that I’d let it go a long time ago, but every once in a while, those questions would pop into my head, reopening a door that I thought I’d closed a long time ago.

Before sitting down for dinner, I excused myself to use the bathroom so I could change out of my bathing suit and get cleaned up. As I made my way back, I overheard my name coming from the kitchen where Dex and his parents were talking, and paused briefly in the hallway to listen.

“Are you sure that you and Olivia are just friends?” Mr. Porter asked Dex. “Because from where I’m standing, it sure seems like there’s more to it than that.”

I heard Dex let out a deep breath. “We’re close, that’s all. I like being around her.”

“She certainly seems lovely,” Mrs. Porter chimed in. “You’ve never brought a girl around here before, so she must be awfully special. I can’t help but notice how happy you are around her.”

Her words sent butterflies into my stomach, and I couldn’t stop the smile that formed on my lips. Dex mumbled something back too quietly for me to hear. I didn’t feel right about eavesdropping on their private conversation any longer. I backtracked to the bathroom and walked into the kitchen with heavy footsteps so they would know I was coming.

My parents already loved Olivia. They hung onto her every word and kept casting approving glances in my direction and openly beaming when they caught me staring at her for longer than a few seconds. I couldn’t help it. She was beautiful and funny, and sometimes I got caught up watching her. The way her blue eyes lit up when she laughed, the dimples that appeared on her cheeks if she smiled big enough, or how she bit down on her full bottom lip when she was nervous… it was hard
not
to look at her.

“Is your family around here?” my mom asked.

Olivia hesitated briefly, looking uncomfortable for the first time all night, before shaking her head. “I don’t have any family. My dad left when I was three so my mom raised me, but she passed away in a car accident when I was eighteen. Her parents died when she was young and she was an only child, so now it’s just me.”

My mom gasped softly, guilt washing over her features as she placed a hand over Olivia’s on the table. “My goodness, I’m sorry, honey. I didn’t know.”

“It’s all right,” Olivia smiled reassuringly. “It’s been a long time now. I’ve gotten used to being on my own.”

Her words were rehearsed and impassive, like she’d recited them a million times before, but I knew that there was pain on the other side of the walls she had built up around her. Hearing about all she’d been through—all on her own—my heart felt like it was being crushed inside my chest. I had the sudden urge to wrap my arms around her and never let her go, just so she would know that she wasn’t alone. Instead, I settled my hand on her knee and gave it a comforting squeeze, needing her to know that I was there for her.

The conversation shifted to easier topics, and Amy arrived to join us after returning from her trip. While everyone chatted happily, I was stuck in my own head, unable to shake Olivia’s words from earlier. I couldn’t comprehend how she’d turned out to be as amazing, fun and cheerful as she was after the life she had. She’d been through so much… lost so much… and was still so strong. So much stronger than me. Yet another reason why I didn’t deserve her.

“I should probably get Sadie home,” Amy announced with a laugh as Sadie began to fall asleep at the table. “Do you want a ride home, Liv?”

“I can give you a ride home,” I said a little too eagerly. “I mean… if you want to stay a little longer, you know, so you don’t miss out on dessert.” Man, I reeked of desperation. Even though we’d spent the last two days together, I really wanted to get a few minutes alone with her tonight. I ignored Amy’s puzzled expression and tried to act nonchalant while I waited for Olivia’s answer.

“Well, I can’t say no to dessert,” Olivia said, a smile playing at her lips.

“Okay, we’ll probably see you tomorrow then,” Amy replied, hugging both my parents and gently collecting Sadie from her chair without waking her. As she was leaving, she smirked at me and whispered in my ear, “I sure hope Mom actually has something for dessert.”

Fortunately, my mom came through with a homemade apple pie, preventing me from looking like an even bigger jackass than I’d already managed. When we finally left for the night, the short drive to Olivia’s house was quiet as I sorted out what I wanted to say.

I parked in her driveway, and before she had a chance to open the door to leave, I reached over and tucked her hand in mine, catching her off-guard.

“I’m sorry for everything you’ve had to go through, Liv.”

“Thank you,” she smiled weakly. “Sorry for springing it on you like that… I don’t usually tell people. I don’t want them to feel bad for me because of it. Not when there are so many people out there who have it way worse than I do, you know?”

Her compassion blew me away. I absentmindedly ran my thumb softly over hers in the hand I still held, drawing tiny circles on her delicate fingers.

“Maybe,” I said, “but it couldn’t have been easy for you. I can’t begin to imagine what my life would be like if I didn’t have my parents or my annoying twin sister around.” My eyes shifted to her small hand enclosed in mine as I struggled with what to say. I cleared my throat, “Being in Iraq… so far away from home and everything familiar to me… there were times when the loneliness was suffocating. But I always knew that I had a home and a family to come back to. I’m not sure I would have made it through if I didn’t.”

The words poured out of my mouth before I realized what I was saying. I’d never spoken to her about my time in Iraq or the Marines. I didn’t talk about it with anyone. Until now. Maybe it was because she’d shared a piece of her past with me that I’d felt the need to reciprocate, or maybe I simply needed her to know how much I admired her.

She looked down and took a deep breath, as if bracing herself for what she was about to say. “I’ve gotten used to being alone. Or, I thought I had anyway. The first couple months after my mom died were… really hard. Then I met Steven, my ex, and I let myself become dependent on him to make me feel whole. He became a fill-in for the family I didn’t have. It made me ignore all the signs that he was wrong for me. I was so scared to be alone again that I let him turn me into someone that I wasn’t.” Her eyes shifted back up to mine and held them. “I thought I would be lonelier than ever starting over in a new place and being on my own, but for the first time everything feels… right.”

“Well, I for one am really glad that you ended up here.”

“Me, too.”

It had been weeks since my last fight. If I didn’t get one lined up soon, I was going to end up picking one with the next jackass who had the nerve to look at me funny. I’d been on edge ever since my parents handed me that letter, which now sat in my living room as a constant reminder of my failure. I was too much of a pussy to even open it and get what I deserved.

I was hanging out at Amy’s with Nate and Olivia when I finally got a text that there was a fight for me that night. It was happening in an old commercial building about an hour away, so I would need to leave soon in order to make it there on time.

“You feel like going to a fight with me tonight?” I asked Nate. He usually came along, because even though I was an idiot most of the time, I knew it was better to have someone with me in case something actually happened and I got hurt.

“I can’t. I uh…” He glanced over at Amy. “I have to work.”

“What is this fight you’re talking about?” Olivia asked.

It was a bad idea, but I couldn’t help myself.

“Why don’t you come with me and find out?”

***

I had no idea what I was getting myself into.

After almost an hour of driving, Dex and I ended up in a deserted area surrounded by dark warehouses that appeared to be abandoned. A huge man stood at the entrance to the building, eyeing Dex questioningly as we approached.

“It’s okay,” Dex said to him. “She’s with me.”

He nodded, stepping aside and allowing us to enter. We were met with a huge crowd of people, and I felt completely out of place.

I’d agreed to this because I was worried about Dex and didn’t want him to come alone, but I was also intrigued and wanted to see for myself what this whole thing was about. I’d been expecting some casual backyard fight between a few guys for fun, but this was… intense. It was organized, and I could tell that the people here took it very seriously. I couldn’t believe something like this actually existed outside the movies.

Underneath a spotlight from the ceiling, there was a circle drawn on the floor that everyone gathered around. The air was stale and reeked of sweat, and I kept my head low, staying close to Dex as he pulled me through the intimidating crowd and escorted me to a raised platform that overlooked the big circle where the fight would take place. He boosted me on top of it and ordered me to stay put. Considering where I was and what was going on around me, I probably should have been terrified, but I couldn’t help but feel safe when Dex was around. Even in a place like this. I knew that he would never put me in danger.

“You’ll be safe up there, Liv. Whatever happens, do NOT move from that spot until I come back for you when the fight is over, okay?”

I nodded nervously, relieved to be out of the crazy crowd. Another guy who looked to be around Dex’s age jumped up on the platform next to me.

“Keep an eye on her, Reece,” Dex told him, his eyes threatening. “Keep her safe, and I’ll make sure to put on a good show for you. If anything happens to her, my next fight will be with you.”

“You got it, Porter.” Reece offered Dex a quick handshake before gesturing toward the big circle. “You’re on in five. You better get out there.”

Dex peeled his shirt off and tossed it up to me, leaving him in only his old jeans and work boots. “Enjoy the show,” he winked.

I was suddenly frightened as I watched him walk over to the circle and take his place inside it. The guy who stood across from him was huge—as tall as Dex, but easily about fifty pounds heavier—and the look on his face was chilling. He wasn’t as toned or fit as Dex was, and I hoped that would work in Dex’s favor.

The bell finally rang, echoing in the empty building and indicating the start of the fight. My eyes were glued to the ring, my stomach twisting with nervous energy. For a couple of seconds, they both circled the ring, studying each other and waiting to see who would make the first move. Dex’s opponent moved first, swinging a fist into his side and making him stumble back a step. I expected Dex to retaliate, but he didn’t. Three hard punches later, all landing on Dex, and he still hadn’t done anything other than watch the other guy hit him.