Break Away (The Baltimore Banners Book 5) (11 page)

"Why was he here?"

Emily ignored the question and tried to focus on the screen but the numbers in the spreadsheet blurred, running together. She hadn't planned on working today, had wanted to do nothing but relax. Maybe catch up on some reading, or treat herself to a few hours of pampering.

But Monica had come downstairs immediately after breakfast and started questioning her. Escaping into work had been a last-ditch effort, one that obviously wasn't working.

Monica moved closer to the desk, edging into her line of vision as she leaned against the edge of it. Her arms were crossed tightly in front of her, her mouth set into a firm line. "Why was he here, Emily?"

Emily logged out of the program then pushed away from the desk, crossing her own arms as she faced her sister. "I don't know why he was here. He just showed up."

"Why? There had to be a reason."

"If there was, he didn't say. And I didn't ask." Emily stood and moved to the sofa, sitting on the edge of the cushion without looking at Monica. She hoped her sister would just leave it at that, would just leave, period. But she didn't.

"Then why did you let him stay? I don't understand, Emily. After everything he did to you, why didn't you ask him to leave?"

"Because Taylor was smiling and laughing, that's why!" Frustration brought Emily to her feet, her hands clenching by her sides as she faced Monica. "He spent the afternoon playing hockey with her, showing her some moves. And she was laughing. So no, I didn't ask him to leave. I'm sorry if that pisses you off."

Monica took a hasty step back, shock crossing her face. But the expression quickly disappeared, replaced by irritation and impatience. Anger. "Then why were you asleep in his lap when I got home?"

"Because I fell asleep while they were playing video games. That was all, Monica. Nothing more. Stop reading so much into it."

"Taylor is my daughter and I
will
read into it. One of us has to, since you can't see him for what he really is."

"Really? And what is that, Monica?"

"He's a player, Emily! I don't want a man like that around my daughter."

Pain sliced through Emily at the accusation and she tried to push it away, tried to ignore it. But she couldn't hide it, nor could she hide her surprise. Why would Monica say something like that? What was it she knew? And how?

Or were they just empty words, nothing more than a reflection of her own history and bitter divorce?

Emily turned away, not wanting to see Monica. Not wanting her sister to see how the words had disturbed her. She wrapped her arms tight around her middle, her nails biting into each elbow as she took one carefully controlled deep breath. "JP has been nothing but nice and considerate to Taylor. You have no right to judge him—"

"My God, how can you defend him? After everything he put you through, how can you stand there and defend him like this?"

Emily whirled, anger fresh within her. "Because he hasn't done anything, Monica! He's been nothing but nice to Taylor. That's it."

"Really? And what about you? Has he been nothing but nice to you?"

Emily ran her hands through her hair, not knowing how to answer. She certainly wasn't about to tell Monica she had slept with him. It was one time, just one time. Both of them hurting, emotionally drained. The encounter meant nothing.

At least, Emily tried to convince herself it meant nothing. But she couldn't tell Monica that. She took a deep breath and shook her head. "Monica, he just wanted to know about...about Gabriella."

"And you believed him?" Monica stepped back, her expression clearly telling Emily she was a fool. "And I guess you told him."

"Of course I told him. He was her father!"

"If he had really wanted to know, he would have been here five years ago." Monica's voice was cold, flat. Emily knew she was only being protective, that her anger was directed not at Emily, but on Emily's behalf. She still wondered why Monica's reaction was so extreme.

"Monica, you're reading too much into things and I really don't feel like getting into this right now anyway." She kept her back turned, her gaze focused outside the sliding glass doors. The small garden in the tiny yard was mostly bare, the few remaining flowers long since brown and dead. Normally a small refuge, the area was now barren, depressing, the wrought iron bench nothing more than a lonely sentinel.

She knew how it felt. Lonely. Watching over...exactly nothing. And wasn't that what she had in her life: exactly nothing?

No, that wasn't true. She had her sister, no matter how annoying and overprotective she could be. And she had Taylor, her wonderful niece, so full of life despite the upheaval of her small world the last few years.

Monica muttered something behind her, the words unintelligible but the tone impatient, short. Emily didn't bother turning around, just listened as Monica left, her steps heavy on the stairs.

Was Monica right? Was she defending JP?

She opened the door and walked outside, the chill quickly seeping through the lightweight shirt Emily was wearing. She ignored it and moved to the bench, sitting down and staring at the remnants of the dying garden.

What was she doing? What was JP doing? Why was he suddenly back in her life and what did he want? Five years. Five years, and more than a lifetime had passed. Why now? Yes, she could believe the first time was nothing more than coincidence. But every time since then? And yesterday. Why had he shown up?

Maybe it was nothing more than feeling sorry for Taylor. Or maybe he was acting out of some kind of guilt, felt the need to treat Taylor like their daughter, who had never had a chance.

Which was absolutely ridiculous. Her mind was obviously grasping at straws, creating excuses and explanations where none mattered.

She closed her eyes, recalling that morning in the rink all those weeks ago. He had thought Taylor was his daughter, if only for a horrifying second. But she wasn't.

So why was he here? What was he doing?

She didn't know, couldn't begin to guess.

And it didn't matter. Not really. There was nothing between them, not now. And maybe not even five years ago. She would do well to remember that, to protect herself and not fall victim to some unknown fantasy she had never even realized she was secretly harboring.

And if he stopped by to see Taylor again? What would she do then?

Emily pushed herself from the bench, the chill finally too much to bear. She closed the door behind her and made her way to her small bedroom. Yes, she was avoiding thinking, something she did well where JP was concerned. She didn't have time to think, not when she should be packing for the weekend, for Taylor's tournament.

Much better to think of that instead of worrying about what to do if she saw JP again.

"You're a stalker, Larocque."

"What are we doing again?"

"Hey, asshole, give me that."

JP tightened his grip on the leather steering wheel of the Range Rover and fought the urge to pull the large vehicle to the side of the road. Pull it over, then kick everyone out and make them walk. It would serve them right.

Never mind that he had asked several of his teammates to accompany him. What the fuck had he been thinking? Obviously, he hadn't been. If he had, he'd be making the trip by himself.

"Are we there yet?" Derek pitched his voice so it sounded like a childish whine. The noise immediately grated along JP's spine and he glanced in the rearview mirror just in time to see Justin elbow Derek. Hard. Hard enough that it caused him to spill his beer.

"Hey, asshole—"

"What the fuck are you doing? Put that away!
Connard
. Do you want me to get pulled over?"

"Drive like a sane man and you won't." Derek used the hem of his shirt to wipe the spilled beer from the leather seat, then quickly drained the entire bottle. His belch echoed around them, earning him another slug from Justin.

JP looked away, focusing his attention on the dark road ahead of him, and wondered again what had prompted him to ask Derek and Justin along. For that matter, what had prompted him to ask Mat as well?

He knew why, but was loathe to admit it. Safety in numbers. Had he really thought bringing his teammates along would help? Emily would take one look at the motley group and run in the other direction.

He wouldn't blame her. Hell, he might even join her.

But that wasn't the only reason he brought them along. And even if Emily ran in the other direction, he knew Taylor wouldn't. And Taylor was the real reason he had decided to bring his teammates. He thought that maybe, just maybe, bringing some of the team's stars along would make up for her parents not being there.

The idea certainly had merits on the surface. JP glanced in the rearview mirror once more, just in time to see Derek and Justin have another shoving match, then sighed, the sound long and loud.

Maybe he'd get bonus points for trying, at least.

"Seriously, dude. Where are we going again?" Derek leaned forward, his arm draped along the back of the passenger seat, his hand resting nonchalantly on top of Mat's head. Mat turned around and punched him in the shoulder.

"Get off me. You fucking freak." Mat smoothed his hair back into place then turned in his seat. "We're going to a hockey tournament."

"A what?"

"A youth hockey tournament. Why are you even here if you didn't know that?"

Justin pushed Derek out of the way then poked his head between the two front seats. "Because Larocque begged us to come. Why are we going to a youth hockey tournament?"

"Because he's turned into a fucking stalker." Mat glared at JP for a full five seconds then turned back in the seat, facing forward with a scowl on his face. JP ignored him. Or at least, he tried to.

"You didn't have to come along."

Mat snorted. "Yeah, okay. And who's going to keep you from making an ass out of yourself?"

"Wait. Wait, wait, wait." Derek pushed Justin out of the way then leaned forward again. "You're serious? That's really where we're going?"

"As a heart attack."

"So. Is there going to be, like, hot single moms here?"

"Probably not."

"What the fuck, Larocque? You're dragging us somewhere where we can't even get laid? Seriously?"

"Can you maybe not think about your dick for twenty-four hours?"

"Dude. I can't not think about my dick for twenty-four seconds."

"Well it won't kill you to keep it in your pants for twenty-four hours."

"Don't worry about him. He's used to keeping it in his pants a lot longer than that!"

Derek muttered something before shoving Justin hard enough for him to grunt, then leaned back with his arms crossed in front of him. JP clenched his jaw and tried to convince himself that pulling over and kicking everyone out really wasn't an option—no matter how tempting the idea was.

JP took a deep breath, the sound carrying over the grumbling that filled the SUV's interior. "My friend's niece is playing in the tournament. Her parents can't be here, and I thought having us show up might cheer her up."

The grumbling finally died, replaced by what he hoped was thoughtful contemplation. All three of the men with him had a soft spot for kids. Hell, damn near every guy on the team did. Which is what he was counting on.

Because he hadn't told them exactly what they were doing when he brought the idea up after yesterday's game. He had just mentioned the possibility of a quick road trip after today's game. A one-nighter to someplace fun. And while he may have mentioned something about a hockey tournament, he had said it so quietly that nobody had really picked up on it.

Nobody except Mat, of course. But at least Mat hadn't said anything, hadn't clued the other two in.

A few quiet minutes went by, finally interrupted by a soft grunt from the backseat.

"Yeah, okay. I'm cool with that."

"Me too." Derek agreed, then belched once more. "Doesn't mean I don't wish we weren't getting laid."

"You're such a piece of shit, Derek. Is that all you think about?"

JP shook his head as they started in on each other again. But he didn't say anything else. He couldn't, not when he would have been doing the same thing nine months ago.

Had he really acted like that? Like the most important thing in the world was figuring out where he was going to get the next bit of action? Yeah, he had.

So what had changed? It wasn't Emily. It had only been a little more than month since he had seen her again for the first time in five years. So what was it? He had no idea, only knew that he had realized something was missing, that something wasn't quite right with his life months ago. Probably longer, since last year, if he was honest with himself.

He didn't know what that missing piece was, didn't know exactly what had changed or why. And he didn't dare admit that seeing Emily again had somehow made it even clearer that something was missing. Seeing Emily again had made him want...more.

But more of what? That's what he still couldn't figure out.

Or maybe he could and he was just afraid to admit it. Afraid it was too late, afraid he couldn't have it.

"You really think this is going to work?"

JP glanced over at Mat, surprised to see the serious expression on his face, an expression that let him know Mat knew more of what was going on than JP had told him. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Really? Yeah, you keep telling yourself that, Larocque. Personally, I think you're going to strike out."

"What?"

Mat shrugged, his eyes deliberately facing forward. "I don't know what kind of history you two have but whatever it is, I don't think she's ready to forget it."

The words were a punch to JP's gut, deep and wrenching. And an echo of his own misgivings. His hands tightened on the steering wheel once more but he didn't respond. He couldn't, there was nothing to say.

He just hoped to hell Mat was wrong, because he wanted Emily back in his life. It was a need he refused to examine too closely. And he refused to ask himself why. He didn't know why; he just knew he did.

The GPS guided him off the highway and onto a smaller main road, finally leading them to the hotel being used by the teams in the tournament. At least, JP hoped to hell it was the right hotel. He had gone online and checked around, then took his chances that this would be the one.

He pulled the oversize SUV into a parking lot and killed the engine, waiting for the grumbling to begin. The occupants were unusually quiet, even after JP opened his door and got out. The other three joined him as he used the remote to open the back so they could grab their small overnight bags.

"So. This doesn't look like a rink to me."

"The arena is up the road. This is where the teams are staying."

"You sure about that?"

"Yeah. I think." JP walked across the dark parking lot toward the main entrance and into the lobby. Noise and laughter greeted them, the sounds echoing off the marble tile and carrying up to the high ceiling. The hotel was more of a lodge, the lobby huge and inviting, with dozens of seating areas scattered around the sprawling interior.

And dozens of kids running around, laughing and joking. Their ages ranged from five or six, all the way up to teenagers. And most of them were wearing either hockey jerseys or sweatshirts bearing the names and logos of their youth teams.

JP winced at the noise, his eyes scanning the crowd for a woman with honey blonde hair as the other three pushed around him.

"So, yeah. I think this is the right place." Derek held one hand to his ear, probably in an attempt to block some of the noise.

"I think you're right."

"How are you even going to find her in this crowd?" Mat nearly shouted the question. JP shrugged then led the way to the counter.

"No idea."

"Did you at least give her a time to meet you?"

JP shook his head then smiled at the young girl behind the counter. She smiled back, a blush fanning across her cheeks as she took his reservation printout, credit card and license. Within minutes, she was pushing everything back across the counter, along with keys to two connecting rooms.

JP grabbed everything, thanked her with a smile and a wink, then turned back to his small group, passing out the keys as he spoke. "She doesn't know I'm here."

"What?"

"What the fuck?"

"Hey, watch it. There's kids here."

JP moved away from the counter, trying to ignore the incredulous stares he was getting from his teammates. Mat stepped closer, his disbelief clear in his eyes.

"Seriously? You didn't bother telling her we were coming? That you were coming?"

"I wanted to surprise her." Which was only partly true. JP didn't want to admit he was afraid Emily would leave if she knew he was going to be here. If she didn't know, and he just showed up to surprise her, there was no way she could make him leave.

The logic had made perfect sense when he first decided on the quick trip. Now, standing here in the cavernous lobby, surrounded by a hundred noisy overactive kids of differing ages, he questioned the wisdom of his decision.

Maybe this wasn't one of his best ideas.

"Great. Now what?" Mat adjusted the small duffel bag over his shoulder and looked around. Derek and Justin just stood there, more or less just taking everything in.

No. Knowing those two, they were probably checking out some of the women in the lobby, weighing their chances.

JP looked around the lobby and shook his head before answering Mat's question. "No idea."

"You keep saying that. Tell me something. Did you even think any of this through before dragging us up here?"

"Not really,
non
."

"Great. Just fu—"

"John Peer!"

JP turned, his elbow nudging Mat in the gut to shut him up as Taylor came running up to him. She was wearing a jersey that hung on her slight frame, looking even larger without the bulk of pads normally worn underneath. Her long hair was pulled back in a ponytail that bounced behind her as she closed the distance between them.

JP's breath left in a rush as she wrapped her arms around his waist in a quick hug that made him take a hasty step back. He placed a hand on her shoulder, regaining his balance as he looked around, hoping to see Emily.

"Hey,
ma lutine
. How was your game today?"

Taylor stepped back and gave him a broad toothless smile. "We won! So we play tomorrow. Why are you here?"

"To come see you win, of course." JP adjusted the bag hanging from his shoulder then glanced over at his teammates. "And I brought some friends with me. They came to cheer you on, too."

Taylor finally noticed the three other men standing around him. Her head titled back, looking up at each of them, her smile widening as recognition dawned. "No way! Oh my God, wait until I tell Aunt Emily!"

"And where is
ma chère
?"

Taylor pointed somewhere behind her, into the milling crowd. "She went somewhere with Mr. Karl. But she's going to meet me over at the park."

A burst of anger and jealousy exploded inside JP, quick and unexpected. It didn't help that Derek and Justin were making comments under their breath, soft enough so Taylor couldn't hear but loud enough that JP certainly did. He clenched his jaw and gave them both a dirty look, then looked down when Taylor tugged on his hand.

"Did you want to come with us? They've got Christmas decorations and some of the rides are open and everything."

JP almost said no. He wanted to say no, wanted to just turn around and leave, head back home. It didn't matter that he'd never live this down, not on the ride home, not tomorrow, not next week.