Break Me Slowly (9 page)

“
I think I need some air.”

Adam
nodded and we headed to the back deck. I leaned forward, resting my forearms on the rail, and looked out over the expanse of land.

B
eside me, Adam mimicked my pose.

“
You know, I used to wonder how far I could run before it all just disappeared.”

“
Why don’t you try it now?”

I snorted.
“I’m directionally challenged. I’d get myself lost in the dark.”

“
Not if I chased you.”

I looke
d over at him. That word
chase
, he had made clear before, was something he never did.

“
It wouldn’t be wise for someone like you to follow me into the dark and unknown,” I said.

“
Someone like me?”

“
You’re a pretty important man. You might get lost, and then where would we be?”

“
You think I’m important?”

“
Yes, I do.”

His moved closer, his fingers skating down my spine.
“I’m glad.”

Adam insisted on escorting me home and I was happy to oblige. After an hour had passed, Simon still hadn’t awakened, so I felt okay about leaving.

Adam
drove instead of a chauffeur. His car was amazing. A sleek black McLaren, with heated leather seats.

I
’d never known watching a man shift a seven speed could be so hot. He handled the car like he’d been born with it. Every time the accelerator revved and his long legs flex and push the gears on the floorboard, a dose of lust coursed through my veins. His palm relaxed over the stick shift when he reached the speed he wanted and we glided back into the city limits.

I stole another glance at him.
“Did you have fun tonight?”

“
I enjoyed your company,” he said.

F
or once I kind of liked his cryptic responses. “This probably isn’t how you spend your typical Saturday night, huh?”

He looked at me.
“I tend to go where I want to go. Tonight, it was that house, where you were.”

My pulse was beating
in my ears. These small glimpses of Adam beneath that tough exterior made my heart do weird things.

“
Do you want to tell me now why you don’t like people touching your face?”

“
No,” I muttered before I could catch myself.

“
It’s a beautiful face.”

Heat rushed to my cheeks. He was persuasive, but
I didn’t want tonight, this time with him, tainted by thoughts of my past.

“
Why did you help host and attend an event you didn’t seem to enjoy?”

“
My aunt asked for my help.”

“
Are you close to her?”

H
e didn’t ask about Tim. Probably because my feelings toward him were pretty obvious. “They took me in after I moved out of my mom’s house.”

“
That wasn’t an answer,” he said. “And I only ask because you acted as though you couldn’t wait to get out of there. Why?”

“
Why don’t we talk about
your
family?”

“
My parents are dead.”

Oh
, God. The Google info I had found hit my memory and felt like an asshole. I didn’t talk about my parents because talking about them made me think about them. “I’m sorry, Adam.”

We didn
’t talk any more. It was like we were both afraid to dig any deeper. I wanted to know all about Adam Kinkade. There was so much to the man that no one seemed to know. Yet, every time I asked a question, I knew he’d be on me with one of his own.

He walked me to my door.
Megan and Brian had been pretty drunk by the time I left and they would be staying over at my aunt’s until one of them was safe to drive.

“
Thank you for the ride and for coming tonight.”

“
You asked me to come. I came. It’s that simple, Katelyn.” He surrounded me with his presence. My back hit the door. “Now I’m asking, would you like to come in?” His breath danced over my mouth.

“
Um…we’re at my house. Isn’t that supposed to be my line?”

He kissed me. Hot. Hard. Quick.
Just as he had earlier at my aunt’s house. My words stuttered out. “W-would you like to come in, Adam?”

“
Why, yes, I would.”

I fished my keys out of my purse and unlocked the door. I shut and locked it behind me
, then tossed my coat on the sofa. Adam followed suit.

“
Hey, wait! Did you just do some kind of Jedi mind trick on me to get me to invite you in?”

“
The Force is strong in me.” He smiled. I was already addicted to the sight.

H
e walked to the center of the living room and looked around while I slipped off my shoes. Our apartment was smaller than his office, but it was cute and clean and I took pride in the fact that I’d earned everything in it.

Adam looked around and that glimpse of
a grin tugged at the corner of his mouth. “Cozy,” he said.

“
That’s a nice word for
small
.”

He cupped my hip and pulled me close.
“It feels like a home. I like it.”

I didn
’t know exactly what that meant, but in that moment, Adam looked the most relaxed I’d ever seen him.

We both knew what was g
oing to happen. I was nervous, excited. I might be a virgin, but I had been around men and never once had my body reacted this way to any of them. I had made my choice when I invited Adam tonight. I had chosen him over fear of the future, and I was ready to follow through with it.

“
Can I get you something to drink? Eat?” The tremor in my voice was evident.

“
Drink,” Adam said, then plunged his tongue in my mouth and kissed me deeply. “Eat…” He trailed that perfect mouth from my bottom lip to my chin, nipping with his teeth all the way. My bones felt weak, my whole body shaky. “Where is your bedroom?”

I pointed to the open door down the hall. With both hands on my hips, Adam
’s lips didn’t leave my skin as he moved them along my neck and collar bone while stepping toward my bedroom. Walking backward on shaky legs was tricky for me, especially when he gently sucked my pulse. The scrape of his jaw tickled my skin like sandpaper and flicked sparks of fire along every nerve ending.

“
You’re smiling,” he rasped.

“
When you kissed me at the restaurant…later that night I could see it.” I trailed my fingertips over his cheek. “My lips were swollen and my chin tingled from your stubble.” I gathered his face in both my palms and looked at those amazing blue eyes. “I loved feeling you long after you left.”

He ran his thumb along my chin. He gently pushed, causing my mouth to open
slightly. Without warning, he thrust his tongue inside. I moaned at the carnal way he devoured my mouth. He tasted like fresh mint and crisp wine. He kicked the door shut with his foot. The action rushed another dose of wetness between my legs. He was slow, but intense. There was a methodical intent behind his passion. I wasn’t sure what side I’d get, but I was so ready for anything he would give me.

He pulled back just enough to look at my face. Without saying anything, he trailed his palms up my sides, to my shoulde
rs and neck. He cupped my face in both hands. I stared, dazed. My whole body felt like smoldering Jell-O.

“
I like that you trust me,” he said.

It didn
’t make sense, but my body seemed to recognize him. My mind definitely registered that he was dangerous, but in a way very different from anything I’d ever encountered. Somewhere, deep down, I was calmer when his hands were on me than when they weren’t.

I craved him, wanted him, but at the same time,
I didn’t like what was happening to me. The vulnerability was creeping up. I stood, literally in his hands, to do with as he wanted. I didn’t fight it. Emotions were firing and I let them. Let myself fall hard and fast and everything in my body was screaming to keep going.

Damn the consequences and
damn tomorrow.

“
I hear your mind working,” he murmured against my mouth. I grabbed the back of his neck and kissed him with all the force I had.

I debated telling him that I was a virgin, but decided against it. This wasn
’t a conquest or a way to guilt him or myself into something it wasn’t. This was going to be sex. Functional. A means to an end. I could do this and come out on the other end just fine. Then this hurdle in my life would have been conquered and hopefully I would be able to handle these kinds of feelings with more control.

Good. The plan was good and had a purpose. But this couldn
’t be sweet and gentle because the moment I slowed down, I started thinking too much—thinking about how I’d feel once Adam left. How I’d handle it if—when—he disappeared completely from my life. He was not the kind of man who could be contained in a long-term relationship. The numerous photos of him with random women were a blatant indicator of that.

I had chosen Adam, but clinging
to him more than I already was? Not smart.

I was tired of holding back. I
f I wanted to be treated like a woman, I needed to act like one. Besides, he had been clear at the restaurant. Despite my feelings or how I had come to want him over this last week, I needed to remember what Adam had said.

The man
wanted to fuck?

Then that
’s what he’d get.

I gripped his crisp shirt in my
fists and ripped it open. Buttons went flying and Adam growled.

“
That’s how you want to play this, Katelyn?” He pushed me backward. The backs of my knees hit the edge of the mattress and I fell back on the bed. I smiled. This was more like it. No more gentle. No more emotion.

He
remove the rest of his shirt. Good Lord, the man was a god. Lean, hard muscle roped from his chest to his abdomen. My eyes followed the small trail of dark hair that started just below his belly button. I wanted to lick the entire length of him.

His blue eyes burned bright against the darkness and when he un
clasped his belt, those chiseled stomach muscles flexed even more.

“
You’re staring, Katelyn.” He removed his pants and finally, he stood, gloriously naked in all his masculine perfection.

A flare of alarm skated through me. He was big. I knew this.
I’d had an up-close encounter with his cock at his office, but seeing him like this, all hard and naked, that erection jutting past his navel, demanding attention—I groaned at the sight.

He reached forward and his hands dove beneath my dress and snagged my panties. He yanked them down and off. Hold
ing my black thong in his fist, he peered down at me. “Spread those creamy thighs and show me.”

His words hit me hard. Nervousness didn’t begin to grasp what was flowing through me
. Heading into territory where I had no idea what I was doing weighed heavily on my confidence. But if I didn’t get a grip, he’d know I was less than experienced. I didn’t want to face that kind of awkward conversation. I would pretend that I had done this several times—with several men. As though I were a healthy, normal twenty-three-year-old woman who’d had lovers, and heartbreaks, and meaningful connections.

“
Don’t get shy on me now, Katelyn.” He palmed one knee and jerked it open. My dress gathered at my hips and I was completely exposed from the waist down.

Adam hissed in a breath,
and the grip he had on my panties tightened. “Touch yourself. Show me how wet you are.”

I swall
owed hard and trailed my hand to my sex. I dipped my middle finger to my opening. Wow, I was damp.

“
Make use of your hands now, because soon you won’t be able to.”

I stroked a tentative circle around my clit
, then paused.

“
Again,” he bit out.

I obeyed, but this time, didn
’t stop.

“
Good girl.” His gaze was riveted on my movements. “Dip your finger lower, inside.”

My breathing sped up.
Adam’s eyes fixed on my face. When I pressed my fingertip inside, my lips parted on a strangled breath. For Adam to watch me masturbate was too much. I was about to come just from his words and his eyes on me.

“
All the way in, Katelyn,” he grated. He was running a fist up and down his length. I sat there dazed and awestruck. He was gorgeous. His muscles tightened, his biceps flexed as he stroked himself.