Break Me (Taken Series Book 2) (7 page)

              I remember his exact words at the end of the movie, “I aspire to have a love as strong and deep as theirs. Wouldn’t you want to know that I would risk everything just to be with you?” The idea was appealing and I guess he already has pretty much risked everything to be with me. He just hadn’t been caught yet.

              I nod my head in agreement. Jeremy’s arm is thrown across the back of the couch as I am snuggled up against his side feeling warm and content. It’s not a new feeling but hard to get used to. After all he has put me through and all I have seen, one couldn’t imagine why I would want to be so close to a monster. But in moments like these, I feel cherished, loved, and wanted. His hand slowly starts to rub my arm in a comforting gesture and my heart swells for this man. I forget about the beatings, the rape, and the brutality that this man could inflict on me and try to enjoy this feeling. The rest of the night went on like this until I fell into a peaceful sleep.

I realize now, after thinking back on last night and many other similar nights that maybe I don’t need a Liam Neeson to come to my rescue. Maybe the rest of my time spent here could be just like last night. We could be happy together. He’s not always such a monster. Lately he has been kind. I feel like we have a real relationship instead of a forced one. The more time I spend with him and the more I get to know him, I’ve come to realize there is a lot more to the man behind the monster than what first meets the eye. But do I really want to be with someone who kidnapped me, killed my best friend and love of my life, ultimately taking me away from my family and friends and still hurts me if I mess up?

Maybe this is my fault. If I hadn’t dressed so provocatively and pranced around like prey in front of him. I could have avoided making him want me if I wasn’t so innocent. I gave him reasons to obsess. I didn’t throw myself at him, I wore tight clothing, I probably made him think I wanted him and was just playing hard to get.

No.

No, I did none of these things. He had a choice. He didn’t have to watch my every move. He didn’t have to take me. He could have just approached me with what he wanted. There was no need to take me away from all my friends and family or kill Forrest who was only trying to protect me and save me.

How do you know what is real and what is not? Just being here with all these confusing thoughts is making me angry and sad because I don’t really understand it. How am I supposed to know what is right or wrong when I can’t get a hold of my emotions? Jeremy is screwing with my head and my heart. He somehow has made me want him without even knowing it. Slowly he has pushed his way inside my heart and made me believe him and need him. And I do. I want him so much it hurts. I want him with me always. Just being in his arms or when he kisses me feels like heaven. I feel content just having him in the same room as me. How did this happen? How did I go from hating him with every fiber of my being to loving him so much it hurts? He can’t know. If he knew I felt this way about him then I know that he will somehow use that against me.

I jump up and pace trying to tamp down all these emotions warring with each other when Jeremy finds me some time later. He knows there is something wrong. In this moment, I want to hate him. I stop and stare at him trying with all that I have to hate him but I can’t and I hate that I can’t. What is happening to me?

Jeremy doesn’t say anything and instead walks surely towards me as if he knows what my latest revelation is and pulls me into his warm and hard body in a comforting gesture. I can’t help myself when my arms wrap tightly around him and squeeze needing his comfort. Even though he’s the reason for my distress, he is also the reassuring and comforting presence I need in this moment of clarity. It was in this moment that I realized no matter what Jeremy did, I would forever love him in some sick and twisted way. I also realized I could never let him know of these feelings and ever since that day, I have made sure to push him away from me.

***

              As I sit in my room, I weep for all those poor souls that have no idea just what is about to happen to them. I want to throw and break things but refrain myself for the sole reason I don’t want to be punished. Why is life so cruel? I look around searching for something, anything to take my mind off what is happening down stairs. I need a distraction. I start in my closet rearranging my clothes in color coordinate then by usefulness. You know, formal, semi formal, casual, etc. I do the same for my shoes, my dresser drawers and then I start moving around all my little trinkets that I have been given since being here. When I make it to my desk to straighten all my papers I see my diary is open and writing that isn’t mine scrawled across the paper. For just a moment, I think that maybe Jeremy has opened and read my diary and anger bubbles inside of me at the thought. My most private thoughts and feelings are in there and he promised that I could have this one thing to myself. I breathe deeply through nose and out my mouth to calm down before I read what he has to say.

Baby girl,

I couldn’t help but gaze at your beauty tonight. You are more beautiful than I could ever imagine and it has been too long since I have seen you.

I need you to know that I am ok. I told you I would protect you and I have failed at that twice now but this ends soon. I can’t say when but I promise I am not far. Stay strong for me baby girl and know that I love you and I will come for you.

Love

Forrest

              My heart stops and the breath I was holding whooshes out of me in relief and fear. Relief at knowing Forrest is alive and that he was coming for me. Fear because I know Jeremy will never allow me to be taken from him again. He will kill to have and keep me and I have no doubt that Forrest will not make it out alive this time. I need to find a way to keep him from coming for me. I can’t handle losing him again. I haven’t recovered from the first time and I know if I lost him a second I would lose the little bit of sanity I have left. Would I end up a monster like Jeremy? Would losing Forrest again make me not care what happens to these people? I have no idea but I fear that I will become someone else entirely and it won’t be pretty.

              How am I supposed to warn Forrest that it is too dangerous? How do I get word to him not to come for me; that I want to stay? He won’t understand it but I need him to stay away for his own safety. I cannot be the reason for another person dying or being hurt. If he comes to rescue me again, he will surely be killed and that will be completely on me. But if I can convince him somehow, that I want to stay then nobody I care about will be hurt again and they can all move on with their lives. That’s just how it needs to be. I hope he understands why I need to do this.

Chapter 5

Jeremy

              The party was a success. The clients seemed to be exceptionally happy with the merchandise that was up for auction and refreshments before hand. And the extra gift attached to each of the products was a huge hit. The bids brought me a lot of money, more money then usual. As the men began to leave after the auction they let me know just how pleased they were with the way I ran things and how they couldn’t decide which items that were up for auction that they wanted. I already have quite a few offering me money to find them specialty items for the future and requesting another party similar to this.

              The only one who seems to be unhappy is Omar. He seems to be in a foul mood as he says his farewells. I understand that his offer for some time with my Sierra was the best I was going to hear all night, but I just couldn’t do that to Sierra and I also couldn’t do that to myself. I may not be perfect but he would have ruined her and I like to keep what’s mine in prime condition. Lending Sierra to Omar for the night would be like lending my Porsche and having it come back dented and scratched up so bad I would have to junk it. I don’t want to junk Sierra so I refused his offer and took her back to her room. No need to parade her around when the auction started. The men would have plenty to salivate over as it was.

              Now that everyone has gone home, it is time I let my guards know just how pissed I am that they let someone past them into my house. I don’t know who they are or why they have come but regardless they are not here to be my friend. They will end up ruining everything I have worked so hard for to achieve. I will not let some bastard get the best of me.

              Speaking to the guard at the door, I inform him to let the other guards know to meet inside in the auction room for an emergency meeting. He nods and speaks into his radio as I hear agreements from the other guards and saying they are on their way. I don’t say another word and head to the auction room and grab a drink from the bar in the corner. Scotch seems to be the most appealing tonight as I poor the amber liquid into a glass with two cubes of ice to cool it.

I am shaking with anger as I sip the sweet, hard taste of my drink. Why must everyone be fucking idiots? It shouldn’t be that hard to keep watch for intruders. If by chance these men that broke into my house run to the police to let them know what they have seen, this whole operation is done for and so is the cushy job these men have. No more free sex with gorgeous women, no more big bank accounts, and definitely no more life because I can guarantee they would be in jail for some time just for being accomplices in this business. But they wouldn’t have to worry about all of that because if they are the reason why we go down, I will kill every last fucking one of them. I did not work this hard just to be taken down by some dumb fucks who happen to slip past my guards.

As all the guards file into the room, I slowly take a good look at each of them and see if they flinch in fear. If they flinch that means they know what they did wrong or they are accomplices in letting the intruders onto my property and into my home. If they do not flinch then that means they are all a bunch of fucking idiots that can’t seem to do their job even with the great fucking pay.

I place the gun that I had hiding under my bar on top of it and point it towards one of the guards showing them that this is not a social call. The guard doesn’t flinch but watches the gun closely with confusion.

“Do you know why I asked you guys here?” The men just stare at me with confusion before slowly shaking their heads. “Do you like your jobs? The money? The sex? Because right now you are all on the verge of losing it all and then some.” I speak calmly not showing them just how angry I am yet. “I know you do, so then how the fuck did someone make it past you dumb fucks and into my home?” I yell with fury causing them to flinch.

“We didn’t know sir. We patrolled as you asked. Following the fence not leaving our designated areas and looked into anything that was amiss. Not once did we see anything out of the ordinary.” One of the men says looking nervous as fuck. I pick up the gun and aim it at each and every one of them wanting so badly to shoot something but holding back for now.

“Ok.” The men heave a sigh of release when I speak in a calm voice not showing my true intentions. “Who was watching the back stretch that the balcony of my room faces?” They all look to each other before looking to one of the men who now seems to be sweating bullets knowing he fucked up.

Bang.

His form slumps as I put a bullet into his head for his insolence. The rest of my guards flinch and look to me hoping they won’t be next. “Clean that shit up and go back to your positions. I’m tired and I don’t want to have to worry about another intruder again tonight. Find someone to replace his post.” Replacing the gun to its hiding spot, I brush past the guards knowing that there is nothing more to be said and head upstairs to my room. Tomorrow I will worry about what these intruders were looking for. Tonight I just want sleep.

***

“Do whatever is necessary to find these guys. I want them dealt with before things get out of hand. Oh and King, if you come back with excuses, I will deal with you personally and you don’t want that now do you?”

“No sir. I’ve got it covered. As soon as I have answers I will let you know.”

“Don’t take too long. I am not a patient man.”

“Yes sir.” I hear the click on his end and throw my phone across the room in frustration. So far, the men have not been able to uncover anything from last night. They searched the property and outside of it for footprints, evidence, anything to point us in the right direction and found nothing. Not a single fucking thing that will help us in figuring out who the fuck got into my house. Now I have my men searching inside the house for any clues. Maybe they took something, left something behind, or left their fingerprints on my furniture. I haven’t heard anything yet though, so that means these guys are professionals. They know how we work and they are playing off our weaknesses. They had to have been watching for a while now because they knew the timing of the guards patrolling. They also seemed to know the lay out of my house, which means they’ve been here, or have access to a blue print. Cops wouldn’t be this sneaky unless they are dirty. But what would a cop want to see in my house? I know I have some illegal procedures that could be brought to light but most of the time they build a case before looking around. I also don’t see my uncle setting this up. He knows what would happen if I found out it was him. He couldn’t be that stupid, could he?