Breakaway (24 page)

“Jason can do whatever he wants,” Raine said with a small shrug in that way girls do when they won't admit to being mad about something yet can't hide it anyway.

“I'll be back in just a few minutes,” I said to Raine.

“Don't worry,” Brian said to Raine, giving her that “aw shucks” tilt of his head that made up half his practiced charm. “We won't let him talk to any other girls.”

“Very funny,” Raine said, and she turned away with Cheryl to talk to her girlfriends.

“You coming?” Brian said to Jordie, his tone almost a challenge.

Jordie shook his head, his jaw tight with some unspoken criticism. “Nah, man. Cheryl will lose her shit if I go.”

“Pussy,” Brian said to Jordie. “She's got you whipped.” In this, Brian and I, possibly for the only time ever, were in agreement about something.

I walked with Brian and his friends through a side staircase, not the big main staircase I had walked up with Raine. At the bottom of the stairs, there was a single door with a crash bar that opened to the outside. Brian led the way out of the building and across the gardens as we headed toward a small outbuilding.

A silver flask winked in the moonlight as Brian pulled it from his inside jacket pocket. Probably monogrammed with his initials, was the thought that flitted through my mind. He took a long swig from the flask, then handed it to me. Figuring I would need it, I took a long draw from the flask before passing it back. The liquor spread like a fire through my gut and loosened my muscles. It was exactly what I needed in that moment.

Brian's buddies were talking and laughing, their behavior almost frenetic as they ambled along behind us. We were headed for an outbuilding near the tree line that separated the golf course from the landscaped gardens. A lone security light mounted on the building cast a broad path of light across the manicured lawn, painting long shadows. The twisted shadows of the old trees seemed sinister because of my mood and anticipation of what was to come.

Brian handed me the flask again as we stepped behind the outbuilding. It was dark here, the only light coming from the moon and stars. The other guys were drinking from their own flasks but had fallen quiet as they waited for Brian to take the lead. I held the flask out to Brian and he waved his hand toward me, a gesture for me to keep it.

“Have some more,” he said. “There's plenty more where that came from. You're our guest.”

“I get that you have to pretend in front of Raine,” I said, then hit the flask again. “But you don't have to keep up the act on my account.”

“What do you mean?” Brian asked, all innocence.

“I know why we're out here,” I said, “so why don't we just get to it.”

The silence closed in as they all held a collective breath.

“If Raine really cared about you, she wouldn't have brought you here,” Brian said. “If she wanted to make me jealous, she should have set her sights a little higher.”

“I get that,” I said with a nod. “But there's nothing going on with me and Raine.” If Brian thought of himself as her boyfriend, technically she hadn't been cheating on him with me. “I've never even kissed her. We're just friends.”

“I'm sure that's all you want. To be her friend. You gay or something?” A few snickers from the guys, nervous laughter.

“I don't need to tell you what I am,” I said.

“Oh, I already know what you are,” Brian said. “You're nothing.”

“Yeah?” I asked. “So, why are we out here then?”

“I'm not going to do anything,” Brian said. “This is just a friendly warning.”

“And what?” I asked. “I stay away from Raine or you come after me with five guys backing you up?”

“Something like that,” Brian said.

“You worried about going one-on-one with me?” I asked.

“What I'm worried about,” Brian said as he stepped in closer to me, his posture threatening, “is that you think that a guy like you is good enough to be going out with Raine. You must have some white trash girls from your own neighborhood you can hang around.”

“I'm done talking,” I said. “If you want to fight let's get to it. I'm not listening to any more of this shit.”

“I'm telling you that if you leave right now,” Brian said as he retreated a couple of steps and slung one hand casually in his pocket, “there won't be any trouble.”

“And if I don't?” I asked.

Brian chuckled. “Then we'll make what happened to you at the last soccer game seem like a cakewalk. You won't be walking out of here.”

“You think I'm just going to walk out on Raine?” I asked. “You must not know me all that well.”

“We'll tell her you got bored or that you left with another girl,” Brian said. “Whatever you want.”

“What I want,” I said, knowing I should hold my tongue but too pissed off to care, “is to wipe that fucking smile off your face.”

His face went slack with surprise and if I hadn't been so tense with anticipation it would have made me smile.

When Brian came at me I was ready for him, my hands already balled into fists. I figured he had brought his boys for mop-up, didn't expect that they would go straight for the group attack. It wasn't even a fight since I had to spend all my energy trying to keep out of the grip of his buddies as Brian swung at my face and gut.

I fought them off for as long as I could, but there were five of them. That's not to say that I didn't get in a few punches. Each time one of them tried to grab me I kicked out, and swung my fists when I could. My fist connected with flesh a few times and there was the occasional howl or yelp when I landed a solid punch.

But then they had me up against the wall of the outbuilding and two of them pinned my arms while Brian worked me over. I kept my head down as I struggled against the guys holding me. As long as the top of my head was pointing forward Brian had to swing at me from the side or use an uppercut so it diminished the power of his punches.

Finally he stepped back to catch his breath. I still had some fight in me though my chest was tight from exhaustion and pain.

“Let him go,” Brian said, confident now that I was worn down, swaying slightly on my feet.

They both released me and I stumbled forward and circled Brian so my back wasn't against the wall anymore.

“You can leave now,” Brian said. “We won't chase you if you leave now.”

“Not yet,” I said, stupid with anger. I didn't really have a hope of doing any damage to them, but pride wouldn't let me back down.

I bent double to nurse the ache in my gut and took a few deep breaths, testing the feel as my lungs expanded with air. I had thought some of my ribs were cracked but after a few breaths was fairly sure I was just bruised. As I collected my thoughts, I wondered why I was still in this fight. It wasn't like I had any expectation for things to work out with a fairy-tale ending. They were silent again as they all watched and waited to see what I would do. My mind was already made up. After a minute I stood quickly and rushed in to grab Brian by the collar. There were confused shouts at this unexpected turn of events as I got hold of him and landed a punch on his cheekbone. Then they were kicking at me, each of them jumping in to take hits at me and then retreating quickly before I could face off with any one of them.

I went down on one knee when someone got me in the side of the head with a hard elbow, my eyes squeezed shut to force the stars from my vision. While I was down, Brian stood over me and grabbed me by the back of my jacket. He held me steady while he drove a knee into my chest. Then another.

Brian dropped me after the second knee to my chest and they all took turns kicking me some more. I curled into a ball to protect my sensitive underbelly but one of them kicked me from the back, drove his foot hard up into my balls, and I thought I might piss myself.

“Okay, enough,” Brian said finally. “He needs to be able to walk out of here.”

The pain from getting kicked in the balls was so intense it drummed all the other pain out of my head. With the wind knocked out of me all I could do was fight to breathe, my chest heaving but not enough oxygen reaching my starved lungs.

“If you try to come back inside, I'll tell everyone what happened,” Brian said, panting heavily. “That you jumped me, and my friends had to step in to protect me. Got it?”

I didn't answer. Couldn't, in fact. But he didn't wait to see what I would say.

As soon as I knew I was alone I let out the groan I had been holding back, it ending on a whimper as I started to shake with cold. The shaking hurt almost every inch of my body and I knew the sooner I could get off the ground, the sooner I would feel better.

 

 

Jordie was the one who came to find me.

“Jaz?” His voice vibrated with worry and maybe a little bit of fear. He hadn't been willing to come outside with me and face an ass-kicking the way Mario would have. Actually, the way things were now, Mario probably wouldn't have taken the ass-kicking either, but once upon a time, Mario would have come with me and taken the ass-kicking without question. Maybe Jordie never would have. It was hard to tell anymore.

I had seen the look in Jordie's eyes when Brian asked him to join us outside. He knew what was about to go down and had chosen to stay out of it. It hung there between us, the knowledge that Jordie had chosen not to back me up. Not that I faulted him for it. Jordie had to live in this world. I was just a visitor.

“You okay, man?” Jordie asked as he crouched beside me. “Can you stand up?”

“Yes,” I said with more conviction than I felt. It was still another minute before I rose from the ground with Jordie supporting me under one arm.

As soon as I was on my feet I pulled back from him—and left with nothing to do with his hands, he hung them by the thumbs from his belt in an awkward gesture. “Brian said you left,” Jordie said quietly.

“Yeah?” I asked as I brushed at some of the dirt and grass clippings that clung to my pants.

“Yeah. You want a lift home or something?”

“Nah, I'll be all right,” I said, maybe not entirely the truth.

“You're sure?” he asked uncertainly but with some relief, grateful he didn't have to explain to anyone why he was leaving the dance.

“Yeah, man. I'll be fine.” The truth was, I knew I either had a very long walk ahead of me, or I'd have to find a pay phone where I could call Chris and see if he would come and pick me up. Small chance of that happening on a Saturday night when the bar was busy.

Left with only two choices—to walk out on my own or go back inside and face whatever Brian had cooked up for me, face Raine's probing and pitying stare—I took the only option I saw for myself and chose the walk alone.

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

Sunday I had to be at work by ten to get the bar set up for the crowd that would come in to watch the football games. I was actually glad to go to work, to have something I could focus on besides thinking about Raine.

It's not as if I hadn't known from the beginning that everything between Raine and me was only temporary. We both knew that even if she wasn't into Brian, eventually she would end up with someone like him. Someone who had money and who would go to college. I never for a minute believed that she would stick around. I just hadn't been ready to let her go this soon.

My shift ended at seven, just as the night shift people were coming in to work, including Chris, who would work until close. When Chris stopped to talk to me in the kitchen I could see him eyeing the marks on my face from my fight with Brian and his boys, but he didn't ask about them or mention them at all. It wasn't a big secret that I got in a lot of fights. Even Chris knew that.

When I left work I lifted a bottle of booze from the office to take with me while Chris was busy at the bar. I was walking through the alley, toward the hole cut in the fence that opened onto the back side of the park. It saved me ten minutes on the walk home, though I had no plans to head for home right then. I was headed for the park to drink myself into oblivion.

“Jason! Hey, Jason,” Chick called after me as I walked along the alleyway behind the bar. I stopped to wait for him to catch up, and when he fell into step with me he was breathing hard. I was too angry to walk slowly and wait for Chick to keep up with me, so he just had to scamper along beside me.

“I've been looking for you, man. Thought we could hang out or something,” Chick said to me, his voice drowned out by the crunch of gravel and broken glass under my feet. “You okay, Jaz?”

“Yeah, Chick. I'm fine,” I said dully.

“You sure?” he asked. “Your face is messed up. Were you in a fight? Is that what you're upset about?”

I wanted to scream at him to shut up, stop talking. I had been an idiot, a complete and total tool. Every time I thought about the things I had said to Raine, how I had shared details about my life with her, it made me cringe.

I had wanted the way things ended with Raine to be on my own terms. At the end of the school year she would be headed off to college while I would probably end up working for Chris and living in some shitty apartment. But, damn, I couldn't even imagine what she was thinking about me at the moment.

“I don't want to talk about it, Chick,” I said.

“Is it about Raine? Because if it is … I don't know. Maybe it would make you feel better to talk to someone about it.”

I stopped so suddenly that Chick ran into me and bounced off my back. “Talk with who? With you?” I asked hotly. “How the fuck is it going to help me to talk to you? You've never even been with a girl before.”

“Yeah, I know,” he said and I could hear the tears in his voice.

“Go home, Chick,” I said. The hurt was so plain on his face as I turned my back on him that I felt a stabbing pain, like a hot needle, through my stomach. I walked away quickly, hoping to avoid another word with him. I was too mad at the world to apologize to him, too caught up in feeling sorry for myself to be able to spare any pity for anyone else.