Breakfast Under a Cornish Sun (16 page)

‘He used to be in the army?' Guvnah stopped painting. ‘Well, I never … Although I suppose that explains his love of the outdoors. You said yes to Kensa, then?'

‘Naturally. Not sure how useful I'll be though, without more information.'

‘Just stay close, I suppose—in case he needs a friendly face for a chat.' Guvnah shook her head. ‘We take our Forces for granted. I'll never forget old Mr Bartholmew who lived next to me, as a child. Fought during the Second World War, he had, and used to walk around shouting, “Bang!” He never recovered from all the shelling he experienced.' She sighed. ‘I wonder what happened to Tremain.'

We both painted in silence for a few moments and then she cleared her throat. ‘You and Facebook. Izzy told me you still chat with Johnny on there. Or rather talk to. Chat with would imply it was two-way, which it isn't. Sweetheart.' She pursed her lips and met my gaze. ‘This pointless messaging has to stop.'

‘How
could
she? That's breaking my confidence.'

‘Kate, my precious girl …' Guvnah held her brush in the air and continued to meet my glare. ‘It's only because she cares. We all do. Me, Izzy, Geoff, your mum …'

‘Really? Mum never mentions Johnny on the phone,' I muttered.

Guvnah shrugged. ‘No. Because we've all been tiptoeing around you.'

Eyes tingling, I pulled a face.

‘Geoff and I discussed it last night. You know I adore you. But now I've got you near me for a while, I feel it has to be said. Here you are, a young woman, on holiday, with delightful young men around. You are beautiful, talented, kind-hearted … isn't it about time you considered moving forwards with your life?'

‘In my own time, thank you,' I said tightly and sat on the bed.

She sat down too and, with her free hand, slipped wrinkled fingers into mine and squeezed. ‘Your constant clicks on Johnny's Facebook page … It's like someone visiting a grave more than once a day.' Guvnah cleared her throat. ‘Usually it's people my age saying “who knows what's around the corner”, but you know that for sure, having lost Johnny so suddenly. Don't waste another minute, darling—please.'

My throat hurt at the pained expression on her face.

‘It's like when your granddad passed—what I have with Geoff will never detract from that love. It's a completely separate relationship at a different stage of my life. Equally as special but in no way denigrating my first love'.

I nodded, recalling the comment Johnny made about his grandad's new relationship.

Guvnah paused for a moment. ‘How often do you message him now?'

My throat tightened further. ‘Not so often. And these last few days, I've not even read through his posts.'

‘But you still … I don't understand. What do you get out of it, when you aren't getting any response?'

‘I … It gave me something to focus on, I suppose, at the beginning. Helped make each day seem more normal, checking his pages on Facebook and Instagram. And then it became a comforting habit.' I sighed. ‘He always used to say I was obsessed with social media. Guess I'm proving his point.' I met her gaze. ‘This week has actually made a difference though. New faces. A change of scenery. The fire. I haven't even looked at my phone today.'

‘Perhaps it is time to take unfriend him then,' she said. ‘I know it's a big step but it only involves a few taps on the screen.'

It was great having a grandmother who kept up with all things technical. I loved seeing her watercolour paintings on Instagram and pretended to get very cross that painter her had more followers than singer me.

We stared at each other.

‘What? Now? Right this minute?' I said.

Guvnah shrugged, but didn't take her eyes off my face.

Sitting in this bedroom reminded me of the smoke-filled ones I'd checked last night—the wave of panic that I might die, without having fully lived my life. Then Johnny's face popped into my mind. The crinkly eyes. That mole just above his right eyebrow. The
way his cheeks crumpled when he found something funny. All the little things. Then I saw Lucas, with his manly stubble and kiss-me-if-you-dare mouth. Finally, an image of Tremain hovered before my eyes. The determined gait. That short, short hair that begged to be ruffled. Those leaf-green eyes that for very brief flashes betrayed some deep hurt.

I refocused. Guvnah had started painting again and hummed one of Geoff's favourite tunes from the sixties. I got up, walked over to the little window, took my phone out of my pocket. I tapped the Facebook icon and hit ‘Search'. Johnny's name always came up first. My finger hovered over the ‘Friend' button. I tapped it and then moved my finger down to the ‘Unfriend' option. I inhaled. Exhaled. My chest squeezed as if I'd been strapped into the tightest bodice ever from one of my historical TV series.

Finger shaking, I closed my eyes and pushed downwards. When I opened them again, Johnny and I were no longer Facebook friends. Guvnah didn't say anything as I brushed past her and out of the bedroom. Vision blurred, I headed out of the front door and outside. Despite the occasional white cloud, the August air felt warm and cheerful. Birds chirped. The freshly cut grass smelt fresh. A particularly adventurous brown bunny lolloped across my path. I snuck around the side of the chalet, leant against its wooden wall and sunk to the ground. Footsteps approached.

‘Kate? Everything all right? I was just bringing you and your gran coffees and doughnuts— Izzy insisted.'

I looked up and, with the bright, sky behind him, Lucas really could have been mistaken for the dreamy Poldark actor. He crouched down and lay his tray to one side. ‘You don't look well. Think you need to go back to the hospital?'

I reached up with my hand and pulled him towards me. In that second I just … just needed some human contact of the romantic kind. I reached up with my other hand and gently tucked it behind his neck. Our mouths met. Urgently, I kissed him. No matter that all the old clichés of sparks flying and the earth moving didn't apply. It was purely physical, although I waited for some degree of emotion to kick in, but nothing. Was it like that for him?

Eventually, I pulled away nevertheless gratified because it was as if I was emerging from a thick fog that had followed my every step for months.

‘Hey. Wow. I wasn't expecting that,' he said, one eyebrow raised.

‘Me neither.' My mobile vibrated in my back pocket and I ignored the sensation as I caught my breath.

I was no longer chained to my phone—to Facebook—and, for the first time in ten months, I felt in charge of my own destiny.

CHAPTER 12

‘You kissed him? Again?' said Izzy, her finely plucked eyebrows practically disappearing into her hairline. We were setting out cocktail glasses in the bar. Saturday morning. Two days to go. We'd all achieved so much yet had so far to go. So much for a spa holiday! There was no time for beauty treatments. However, we had managed to get up early, have a swim and sauna.

‘What's the big deal?' I said. ‘I bet you've kissed Greg for literally hours by now.'

Her face broke into a broad smile. ‘When I'm not laughing at his bad jokes, yes, but that's not the point. You can't compare. For you, Lucas is practically a celebrity! Just a peck on the cheek is a huge achievement! We should dye your hair red like that Demelza's.'

‘Idiot,' I said and smiled. ‘Next you'll expect me to get his autograph.'

She grinned and for a few moments polished a glass. ‘But honestly, Kate,' she said eventually, in soft tones, ‘it's great to see my best mate dipping her toe into rocky romance waters again.'

‘You talked to Guvnah about me,' I said.

Her cheeks pinked up. ‘Only because I've been so worried. I take my role as your auntie very seriously,' she said brightly, eyes nevertheless glistening.

I put down my tea towel and gave her a quick hug. ‘I know. And I'll never be able to repay the support you've shown me over the last few months. I'm sorry you've worried. But I honestly feel I'm … moving on now. Bit by bit.' I stood back and rearranged glasses into orderly lines. ‘I'm so thrilled that this place has given you the challenge you've been searching for,' I said, keen to change the subject. I wasn't ready to voice out loud the fact that I'd unfriended Johnny. It felt right but telling Izzy made it seem so final. I just needed a little more time to fully get my head around that and ignore the occasional jab of guilt.
Unfriend
was such a brutal word. ‘Lucas is really interested in the reasons for your success.' I said. ‘Last night he quizzed me all about your business secrets.'

‘Like what?'

I picked up a bottle of superior vodka. ‘The fact that you use only the best ingredients. None of this cheap stuff from the wholesalers. Plus the finest fruit to use as a garnish and good quality mixers. As for the
doughnuts, they speak for themselves. All hand-crafted, with detailed decorations … Like the way, for this outlet, you've created flavours themed to Cornwall.' I shrugged. ‘He wanted me to go into such detail, it's almost as if he's thinking of setting up his own bar. Perhaps he's planning ahead, in case White Rocks' rebranding doesn't work. He couldn't give up cooking though—maybe he'd open a bistro.'

‘Are you going to tell him about Saffron's wedding and your need for a Poldark plus-one?'

‘I will, but not quite yet. We're only just getting closer. I don't want him to think that's the only reason I'm interested in him.'

Izzy's face lit up. ‘So it isn't?'

I sighed. ‘Oh, Izzy, I just don't know. When we kiss, it's nice, and exciting because, well, obviously, it's been a while. But it doesn't feel how I remember, with Johnny. You know—a whirlwind of sensations spinning through my body.'

‘
Nice
is a good place to start.'

I nodded. And I was heading for thirty. Johnny and I were in our early twenties when we first met. Perhaps this was ‘mature love'.

‘He is charming. We could chat easily for hours. He wanted to know all about my singing as well. Last night he got me to show him how the mike worked and looked through my CDs. He even wanted to borrow them to play at home.' I could just picture him in one of
Poldark's foppish eighteenth-century blouses, singing Adam Ant and coming over all eighties New Romantic.

She grinned. ‘Greg and I don't do much talking.'

I smiled back, but just with my mouth, not my heart. That's what the first few dates—the first months—should be like, right? But then, perhaps I was expecting too much. No two relationships were the same. I chewed on my top lip. And I may have unfriended Johnny on Facebook, but didn't have the strength to take down his red heart wind spinner. Not quite yet.

‘So …' I rubbed my hands. ‘Are we starting to bake today? We can freeze some basic ring doughnuts—take the pressure off next week? Just tell me how I can help.'

‘Yes, I just want to check through all my ingredients. Make sure I've got enough yeast, flour, butter and oil at least. And I've got a second-hand deep-fat fryer arriving from eBay this afternoon so I won't have to keep mithering Lucas to borrow his.'

‘Did your mum remember to post us the injection nozzles?' Not a lot felt more satisfying than injecting cream into doughnuts, plumping them up.

She nodded. ‘Plus I've ordered edible rice paper stickers bearing the Rocky Rabbit logo—they should arrive Monday or Tuesday.'

‘It's all falling into place.' I gazed around. ‘Get you—a doughnuts-and-cocktails magnate.'

‘Couldn't have got my bigger plans started without you, clever girl,' she said. ‘Wouldn't even have thought of this expansion idea.'

‘What's this? A mutual appreciation society?' Lucas's face appeared around the temporary wall and he gave one of his teasing smirks. ‘I can hear every word in my restaurant. That's plasterboard for you.' Greg appeared by his side. ‘We were thinking,' continued Lucas, ‘do you two fancy a double date this evening? Could be the last chance we get to go into town at night. Tomorrow is going to be hectic and once guests are here we'll probably all be working twenty-four-seven for a while.'

Tremain couldn't complain at Lucas's dedication. Twenty-four-seven? I gave him the thumbs-up.

‘A double date sounds like a great idea,' said Izzy. ‘Shall we all meet here at seven? Kensa told me about a great Italian restaurant with sea views.'

‘It's a date,' said Greg and winked.

‘Right. I'd better get on reorganising the kitchen,' said Lucas. ‘Tremain's discovered a line of cheap crockery with pictures of rabbits on, for children's meals. He's off into Port Penny to pick them up from the local potter, who managed to order them in at cost price; in an early staff meeting this morning he said something about having an errand to run as well, and not being back until late.' Lucas shook his head. ‘All sounded a bit mysterious to me. You'd think he'd rush back here, what with us being so close to
the re-opening. And his face …' Lucas sucked in his cheeks. ‘We're all stressed, but Jeez, he looked downright miserable this morning.'

‘Who did?' said a loud, Cornish voice.

Lucas rolled his eyes and turned around to Tremain. ‘Er, Mr Peppard. His wife was trying to persuade him to go for a peaceful swim, before all the families arrive next week. I don't think he's the sporty type.'

Ooh. My curiosity had risen at the mention of Tremain running an ‘errand' and Kensa's words about today being difficult for him. My stomach scrunched as I noticed the way Tremain's shoulders slouched. His face looked pale, with circles darker than ever under his eyes, as if he hadn't slept for a week. Mind you, he probably hadn't with all the strain he'd been under, plus he had been in a fire … perhaps I was worrying about nothing; maybe this was my curiosity magnifying thoughts in my imagination and causing trouble, as it often did.