Breaking Even (25 page)

“She’s from Sterling Shore. Why?” Rye asks, his grip getting tighter.

“Just curious. Never seen her around before.”

“She went to private school upstate, and doesn’t hang out at the socialite functions. Problem?” Rye asks.

Is this about social status? My father is a wealthy man, but not compared to people like Rye’s father—Rygan Clanton, who I’ve only heard about through the others. My dad certainly doesn’t have the money the Sterlings have. So we never went to the upper elite parties.

Even though Ethan is a Noles—one of the most prestigious old names and old money families in the city—he doesn’t dress the part. He looks as rough around the edges as Rye, so I only assumed he was the type to brush off such superficial titles.

“You two seem to know each other pretty well. It’s cute. I’m not being a dick, so get that ugly, threatening look off your face,” Ethan says flippantly.

I look up just as Rye relaxes his expression, and I lean back against him more, forcing him to return his attention to me as he looks down. His smile forms the second his eyes meet mine, and I feel a little powerful to have that sort of effect on him.

“The cheddar is phenomenal. Try it,” Raya says to Rye as she pulls out platters and platters full of mixed assortments. Cheese and wine are commonly put together, and I can’t help but grin, especially when he shifts uncomfortably behind me.

“He can’t have cheddar,” I joke, laughing at him when he scowls at me.

“Wow. You told her about that?” Tag asks as he joins us.

“I didn’t mean to. She made some weird casserole the other night, and the damn thing had tons of cheddar in it. It sort of... came out.”

“No pun intended?” Tag asks, amused, and I burst out laughing as poor Rye glares at him.

“You lactose intolerant or something?” Ash asks, intrigued and working hard not to laugh.

“No. I’m not. I can eat any other cheese and drink milk. Cheddar is just a mean bitch. I don’t want to talk about this.”

He starts sulking and I turn to face him while wrapping my arms around his neck. He kisses me on the forehead as he clings to me like a shield from their laughter.

“How about bread? Are their certain breads that make you fart?” Raya asks, poking the bear a little more.

He groans while dropping his forehead to mine, and I grin as I hold onto him. Everyone watches us, and it starts to become obvious that we’re both causing a scene.

“You work at the museum?” Ethan asks me, so I turn away from Rye to answer.

“Yes. For a few years now.”

“What do you do?”

“Everything,” Rye says before I can answer. “She’s supposed to be the assistant to the director, but she should be the director, because that lazy dick never does anything. It’s always her. She’s the one who handles all the exhibits, the shipments, the inventory, the special showings, the event planning... All of it. I haven’t seen her lazy boss get off his ass yet.”

I can’t help but smile again, and suddenly it doesn’t matter if we’re giving them a show that contradicts all of our denials. I kiss him, and I don’t hold back. Neither does he.

“Where’s that wine? I need something dry to counteract all the damn sweet shit they’re spewing,” Ethan says, but we both ignore him.

I’m a little scared to drink. My father always said not to drink when you had secrets to keep. You never know what might come out.

Chapter 13

RYE

“This sucks,” Ethan harps as Brin moves off my lap and toward the wine.

“What sucks?” I ask, my eyes transfixed on her as she pours a new glass.

“All of you.”

She hasn’t had but a few sips. I keep drinking the whole damn glass the second she gets back with it. This turned out to be a very good day. I needed this.

And Brin is perfect. She’s held true to her word, and she hasn’t pushed for anything more than what we have. And tonight she’s laughed, flirted with me, and kissed me in front of the world without giving a damn about their constant meddling.

If Ash had her way, Brin and I would be getting married right now. But we’ve learned to ignore all of them.

“Why do we suck?” I ask absently, still watching Brin as she laughs with the very drunk Raya.

“I came back expecting to get to hang out with some of you while I’m here. Kode is up Tria’s ass—which is still fucking crazy to me. They hated each other when I left, then they were in love at Rain’s wedding. Dane and Rain are married, which is bizarre, considering they weren’t speaking when I left. Kade is engaged to Raya, which is freaking me the fuck out. I never expected him to settle down. Wren is MIA. And then you. You’re the biggest shock of all.”

My brow hits my hairline as I turn to face him. “What does that mean?”

He frowns as he wobbles in his seat. He’s too drunk to speak right, but he’s still sober enough to piss me off.

“Dude, fess up. You’re in love with that girl. You barely keep your hands and eyes off her. I’m surprised, really. She’s so damn sweet. I picture her being with Wren more than you.”

I frown as Brin starts to come back, but her eyes go between me and Ethan before she turns back and starts talking to Tria instead.

“Brin’s awesome, but I’m not in love. You and I haven’t hung out because I’m choosing sex over beer. Sorry. Priorities,” I joke.

I shouldn’t tell him that there have been days where I hung out at my beach home alone, just to keep from running across the street to see Brin. If he knew I had days off from her, he’d expect me to hang out with him, and that would lead to him wanting me to chase women with him. And there’s only one girl I can focus on.

He rolls his eyes. “You’re not choosing sex over beer. You’re choosing her. Just admit it. It’s no big deal; it just sucks to finally be back and suddenly everything is different.”

I don’t like what he’s saying, but when Raya introduces Brin to one of her cousins—her male cousin—I flinch. This party expanded once guys started showing up. Now it’s a houseful of Raya’s friends and family, along with some of Kade’s friends and family. And I don’t like the way this guy is looking at my girl.

“I’m not in love,” I say to him, but I’m reminding myself. Love is complicated, messy, and fucked up. Love is a relentless bind that drowns you and holds you down. Love is the last thing a guy like me can endure, because then it all becomes real and the fun is gone. Love is a bitter, cold-hearted bitch, and I don’t want it. Not to mention, I can’t have it.

“You want another drink?” Ethan asks as he stands.

“Bring the whole bottle,” I murmur numbly. I need to drink this conversation away, because I don’t want to think. Why’d he have to go and ruin this for me?

***

BRIN

“You’re drunk,” I giggle, smiling as Rye dances with me, his grin only growing each time he puts a sloppy kiss on my lips.

Normally drunk guys are annoying, but I love drunk Rye. Then again, I love Rye any way I can have him.

“You’re not drunk enough,” he slurs, picking me up and making me laugh harder as he keeps my feet off the ground.

“I can drive us back,” I say, choosing my words carefully. I almost said
home
.

“I’m not that drunk,” he says, even as he staggers. “But I’ll let you call a cab.”

People don’t keep secrets when they’re drunk
.

I hate to do this, but I can finally ask him what I’ve been dying to know. It may suck, but he’ll be honest without worrying about hurting my feelings.

When he puts me down, I tug at his hand. I stifle a grin when his mischievous smile comes up. I keep tugging at him until we’re outside, and he cages me in against the railing as his lips come down on mine.

“Rye,” I murmur, trying to break the kiss as he works harder to kiss me deeper.

“Don’t ruin it,” he says, confusing me.

“I just want to talk,” I say, pushing against his chest.

“What is there to talk about?” he asks, his lips still battling to get to mine. “I know everything about you. You know everything about me. Let’s just have some fun tonight.”

My heart flutters, and I finally manage to push him back. “I don’t know everything.”

He tilts his head curiously. “I’ve pretty much told you the main points. Even some of the ugly stuff. I don’t want to talk about my mom. If that’s what this is about.”

His mom? What’s he talking about? What ugly stuff?

“What about your mom?”

He shakes his head. “That’s too much. Too dark. Too ugly. I’ve told you everything else. Isn’t that enough?”

His smile has vanished, and he looks to be hurting. I don’t know what’s going on, but I also don’t want to press him on that. Not yet. But I will. When he’s ready.

“You haven’t told me the truth.”

His brow furrows as he studies me. “I’ve never lied to you. Not even when it was something embarrassing you asked.”

In the next breath, I lose my courage. I promised him I wouldn’t do this, and I told myself I’d settle for what I could get. He’s already giving me more than I thought he would.

“You’re right,” I say, and his drunken, sweet grin returns. “Can we go back in?”

“Nope. I want to show you the vineyard,” he says, picking me up again.

“I’ve seen it.”

“Not with me. I have a feeling it’ll look a lot different.”

I laugh even as the heaviness settles over my chest. In a fleeting moment of vulnerability, he spoke about his mother. He’s never said anything about her other than the first night we were together. It’s worrisome. Especially if he’s drunk and still won’t talk. Drunk people always talk.

I’m not even drunk and I almost told him I love him.

Chapter 14

BRIN

Rye pulls up to my house, and he smiles as he turns and unfastens my helmet. The sun is too bright after so much alcohol. I gave in and got drunk. Fortunately I didn’t say anything too terrible, but we ended up crashing in one of the guest rooms and staying enveloped in each other all night.

“I wasn’t even planning to drink last night,” he says while pulling me to him, and I force a laugh. He was worse than drunk. I’m surprised he’s not still drunk ten hours later.

“You staying for a while? I can make us some brunch, and then maybe we can grab some movies.”

We’re both taking a walk of shame, still wearing our clothes from last night. His fingers thread with mine as he kisses my head, and I lean into him. This is good. I can handle this. I just need to forget the labels. Forget the future. It’s all about living in the moment.

“I have some errands to run, and I’m going out with Ethan tonight. I think he’s jealous of you,” he jokes, but I don’t laugh.

Ethan hates me and hates the fact that Rye is with me.

“Cool,” I say.

Cool? How outdated is that? But it’s all I can think to say.

“Cool?” he asks, amused.

I shrug as we almost reach the door to my house. “The two of you could have gone out yesterday. I told you I had a girls’ night.”

He frowns, but I don’t look him in the eyes.

“It turned into a couples’ night,” he says.

And I want to scream
we’re not a couple!
But I don’t. Just like always, I nod. “Well, have fun.”

“You’re mad,” he says, narrowing his eyes at me.

“Not at all. I’m actually going out with Maggie tonight. I forgot that she asked me to do that. We’re going to Silk. Carmen is out of town.”

“Silk?” he asks, suddenly seeming less thrilled about not seeing me tonight.

“Problem?”

His jaw tenses, but he shrugs. “Nope. None. I’ll see you later tonight. I can swing by when we get done.”

So cheap. I’m so cheap.

“We’ll be out late, but if I’m home, then sure.”

Again, his jaw tenses. “What are you doing, Brin? Trying to make me jealous? That’s not
cool
.”

“Did I say anything about going out with a guy? That would be the only way to make you jealous. And besides, we’re not together so what good would it do to make you jealous?”

He takes a step back and studies me.

“We said it would only be each other. We’re not using condoms. That was your rule.”

“Rye, I’m going to Silk with Maggie. I’m not going to hook up with a guy.”

He blows out a breath while running his hand through his hair, and then he pulls me to him and kisses me hard, imprinting more with that kiss than words ever could. But then, he’d never say the things he makes me feel.

“Fine,” he murmurs against my lips. “I’ll see you tonight, though. Just call when you get back. You’ve got work tomorrow.”

He grins like he has me, but I shake my head. “Museum is closed for renovations for the next two days. I can party like a rockstar.”

I can tell he doesn’t like that the second his lips tighten. He feels it. So why won’t he just admit it?

“I’m definitely seeing you tonight, then,” he says, grinning once more as he leans in and gives me one last kiss.

Then he strides across my yard, leaving his bike parked in my spot. I won’t hit that bike, though. I love it. It represents something, even though he won’t admit it. I’m the only girl he’s ever let ride with him.

***

RYE

I drop the flowers on the ground, along with the birthday present I always bring her. She loved those stupid coffees from the gas stations. Why? I don’t know. But she preferred it over gourmet coffee, so I bring a cup every year.

“Figured I’d find you here,” Ethan says as I stand up from the grave.

I smile weakly at him. I hate this day. Always have.

It’s a day full of guilt, fury, and what-ifs. But today the guilt outshines all else, mingling with a little sadness that I don’t usually feel. For some reason, my anger is absent, and I wish it would return. I don’t like being without it. I’ve grown used to having it to lean on like a crutch.

“We still on for drinks?” I ask, turning back to fix the fresh flowers in front of her tombstone.

Lilies. She loved lilies.

“You know it. I’m surprised Brin isn’t with you. She seems like the super supportive type. I didn’t expect to find you here alone.”

Brin... It’s getting too serious. She wanted to say something last night, and then she backed out. I was drunk, but I remember it. And then today she started in with trying to get me to admit something by making me jealous. Silk is always crawling with people who want to find a girl for the night, and she’s heard me say that before.