Breaking Leila (16 page)

“As it
happens,” I cut in, “I have dealt with that. And I coped very well,
thank you.”

I wanted to add
in that I had found a pseudo-sibling in Aidan–who really had been
of help in sorting out my parents’ crisis, one way or another–but I
kept my mouth shut.

“When Mum left
with–”

“I mean it.
Give it a rest,” Matt snapped.

“Jesus. Sorry I
spoke.” Toby recoiled in the back seat and an awkward silence
descended in the fading light.

Matt broke it
with a sigh. “What he means is that when our Mum left a few years
ago, Tobe and I had each other. It was hard work, supporting Dad.
He was pretty broken up.”

“You said you
have a stepmother now. Is she nice?”

“Amy? Yeah,
she’s…she’s okay.”

“She’s not
Mum,” Toby grumbled.

“She’s
just…she’s a bit…” Matt trailed off. “Over enthusiastic? She tries
way too hard with us, I think.”

“She’s obsessed
with us all being a big family and it doesn’t work like that. We’re
not little boys. She’d have put name tags in my clothes when I went
back to uni, if I’d have let her.” Toby cringed. “She needs a
hobby.”

“It could be
worse,” I said. “She could have been evil.”

“I suppose.”
Matt pulled into a little country lane. We were almost there. “It
would have been hard either way, though. It’s a weird
situation.”

“Does she know
I’m coming?”

“Yeah.”

“Um…what did
you say about me? I mean, about us?”

“He told her to
book the marquee and start thinking about a wedding breakfast.”
Toby shimmied again and Matt reached back to thump him.

“I said you
were a friend from work. It’s not like we’ll be sharing a bed or
anything.”

“You’ll be too busy listening to Dad and Amy.” Toby
shuddered. He leaned forward, eyes wide. “They
are
 
loud
.”

I laughed.
“Older people have sex too, you know.”

“But they sound
like some sort of charging wildebeest!”

“You watch way
too many documentaries.”

The car swung
down a long dirt path and pulled up outside a large cottage with a
sloping, thatched roof.

“Oh wow,” I
breathed. “It’s like something from a Christmas card. Did you grow
up here?”

“Yeah. It’s
been in the family for a long time.” He turned the engine off and
we slid out of the car. “You like it, then?”

I gazed about
in the blues and purples of evening light. Hills nestled into each
other, trees reaching up to the clouds like open hands.

“It’s amazing. I thought
 
I
 
grew up in the country, but it
was nothing like this.” Suddenly, he stood close beside me, his
breath warm on my neck. I stepped back and his hand sat at the top
of my buttocks, where it melted, meant to be there.

“Come on,” said
Toby, shattering our split second of intimacy. “It’s not getting
any earlier.”

Matt took my
hand and led me in, cocking his head at the empty space on the
drive. “Dad’s still out. They have dinner at the local on
Fridays.”

“Does that mean
Amy’s not left us anything? I could eat…well, her food,” Toby
moaned.

I peered round
into a massive farmhouse kitchen, where Toby already abused the
fridge.

“Make some
sandwiches, Tobe. I’m going to show Leila around.”

“What am I,
your fucking slave?”

We walked back
through the narrow hall and into a long lounge. The ceilings were
beamed and I could smell the lingering remains of a fire. Sofas,
overstuffed and piled high with hand-stitched cushions, called out
with seductive little moans.

“You need to
take me out of here before I collapse on that,” I warned, pointing
to a couch in cracked brown leather.

“We can’t be
having that.”

He showed me
the conservatory and its view of the vast orchard, two little
bathrooms with inviting waterfall showers, a dark wine cellar that
could only be inspected with the light of a candle. Finally, he
took me upstairs to his room.

It was
probably the size of my entire flat. A four-poster pine bed
dominated the centre and looked comically out of place in its
surround of sports posters and rugby trophies.

I giggled. “You
do realize, that with a bedroom like this, you ought to be…what’s
the term you use? A public school twat.”

“Like you?”

I shoved
him.

“You’re just
jealous,” he said.

I wandered over
and hauled myself up onto the bed. The mattress was deep and
sumptuous, and my feet barely touched the floor.

“You’re quiet,”
he said finally.

I smoothed the
sheets over with a fingertip. “Just thinking.”

“About
what?”

I looked up at
him and bit my lip. “All the girls you’ve made love to in this
gorgeous bed.”

“Bollocks–did I
actually carve notches?”

“Oh, be
quiet.”

He smiled. “You
 
are
 
jealous.”

“A little.” I
fell back into pillows and the waft of clean sheets. “I like it in
here.”

“Good, because
it’s where you’re sleeping.”

My stomach
flipped. “With…?”

“I’ll be in
with Toby,” he added quickly. “It’s not that I don’t want to be
with you, Leila. I just don’t trust myself in the same bed.”

“I suppose I
should take it as a compliment,” I grumbled, trying not to look
wounded.

“I’ll fetch
your bag. We should be getting ready.”

He returned a
few minutes later with my embarrassingly well-stuffed hold-all and
a flabby sandwich.

“Chef Toby was
in one of his less imaginative moods.” He gestured to the plate. “I
think it’s ham but knowing Amy, it could be otter or
something.”

“Thanks.” I
pulled my hair loose from the ponytail. “Exactly how rock is this
place we’re going to? Should I be going for thigh-high boots and
fishnet gloves?”

His eyes lit up
and it made me laugh. “Do you own those?”

“Well…no. But
I’m sure I could improvise.”

He lingered for
a moment as I undid the knot on my wrap dress.

“Are you
watching?” I asked.

His cheeks
flushed in a streak of pink as he nodded.

I peeled the
dress away and stepped out of my heels, staring straight at him. He
drank in the sight of my nude lace bra and little thong, swallowed,
hands writhing in his pockets. I bent over quite deliberately to
fetch my clothes out of the bag, letting my hips sway from side to
side so he could see the thong balancing just between my cheeks.
All these little tricks I’d learned…they had never felt so wicked
and delicious.

I slid into
Clemmie’s jeans and let my hair fall into my eyes as I fastened
them. Then I pulled two corsets out and wandered over to him,
holding them up.

“The green or
the purple?”

“I like the
purple,” he managed.

I gave him both
of the corsets while reaching around to unhook my bra. When I
covered myself with an arm, he brushed it away, his fingers just
catching the underside of my breasts. When I met his eyes in the
almost-dark, a sigh escaped.

He wrapped the
cold taffeta around me, letting the boning find its place on the
curve of my hips and peaks of my nipples. Then he tugged it tight
and I gasped and giggled, reaching back to swat at his hands.

“I suppose the
tighter this is, the bigger your cleavage will be,” he said.

“That’s about
right…although too tight, and I will be corpsage.”

“Yummy.”

The laces
licked my skin as he swished them about, pulling them loose and
tightening them in sharp bursts. The beginnings of a particularly
masochistic orgasm stirred between my thighs, and I sighed in
mourning–it wouldn’t see the light of day.

I backed into
him and we stood silently for a moment, his hands caressing my
hips, his breath pouring down over my bare shoulders. I longed to
feel a sucking kiss at the nape of my neck, to moan as his teeth
caught my skin, but...nothing.

“I think we
need to be a little stricter with the no touching thing,” he said
gruffly, stepping away.

I turned to
pout at him. “Meanie.”

“Imagine what it will be like though,” he murmured, “when
we
 
can
.”

I stamped my
foot in a mock tantrum. “I suppose I’ll have to.” I picked up my
makeup bag. “As erotic as you dressing me was, I’d rather apply my
own lipstick, if that’s okay.”

He busied
himself in the wardrobe. “Be my guest. My only experience with
makeup application was on school trips–”

“Oh? What kind
of trips were they, then?”

“Shush, you. I
meant when you wait for your mates to fall asleep on the coach and
write on their foreheads.”

“Of course you
did.”

“I’ll see you
downstairs.” He smiled over his shoulder as he disappeared.

I realized how
much I’d been looking forward to tonight–getting to know Matt in
his own territory, languishing in his attention, beneath his
cautious touch. I’d spent so long diving straight into bed with men
that I’d forgotten how thrilling the chase could be, even if it was
tortuously slow. Charlotte could learn to be patient…right?

I smudged
something dark and shimmering over my eyelids, smeared my lips in a
rich berry gloss. It made a nice change to wear something other
than natural make-up, and the corset deserved some drama. With a
feather comb in my hair, I headed downstairs. Couldn’t face the
otter sandwich.

Matt had
changed into a band t-shirt and jeans. Toby had doused himself in
Hugo Boss–eugh–and stood in the hall to call a cab.

“You look
nice,” I said, resisting the urge to brush my fingers down Matt’s
chest. He nodded at me.

“You too.
Lovely, actually.” He swallowed. “Your phone rang.”

I glanced nervously at where it sat on the kitchen
island.
 
Oh,
fuck…please don’t say it was Joseph again.

“Don’t look so
terrified,” he said gently.

“So...who?”

“Your
William.”

“Oh.” I stepped from one foot to the other.
“
Oh
. Um. What did
he say?”

“He said your
car is coming at ten-thirty. I told him to send it to the
club.”

“You did
 
what
?” I actually felt my eyes
widen. “You know what he was talking about, right?”

Matt chewed his
lip for a moment, his hair falling into his face. He tucked it
behind his ear slowly. “I’m all right with it, Leila.”

“No, you
aren’t. Why are you doing this to yourself?”

“I
 
said
, I’m all right. It was a
commitment you made long before we started to…before we were
involved…and you should keep it. Joseph and I had to jump through
about forty-two hoops to hire you. I trust the guy,
okay?”

“And yet, he
still managed to send me out to two people I worked with,” I
grumbled.

“We lied,” he
said sheepishly. “Joseph owns a company name and we said we were in
advertising.”

I rolled my
eyes. “So why the sudden rush to be noble?”

“It’s not
noble. It’s just realistic. And I’m trying to show you that it
doesn’t matter to me what you were. Are,” he added quickly.

“Do you know
what it is I’m meant to be doing?”

He gave a
nonchalant shrug. “Some kind of show, you said.”

“With a guy who
will be at the wedding tomorrow. You’ll have to look him in the eye
and shake his hand.”

“Then he’d best
look after you,” Matt snapped.

We were silent
for a moment while Toby chattered away on the phone in the
hall.

“I don’t think
this is a good idea,” I said finally. “Even if you were okay with
it, if Joseph–”

“Can we have
one night not mentioning him, do you think?”

“You mentioned
him first!”

How long could
I go on in a relationship full of disagreements when make-up sex
wasn’t an option?

“Guys,” Toby
called, “the cab’s here.”

I snatched my
phone and shoved it into my purse before following them out to the
car.

I shouldn’t have picked a fight with
Matt–he
 
was
 
trying. Why did I punish him for it? He was a big boy, the
choice his to make.

Maybe I felt guilty about the leap of excitement I’d had when
he gave me permission. It tangled my nerves, the show, and for Matt
and I, it might be downright dangerous…but after all the
frustration I’d suffered today, the thought of Aidan’s skilled
touch made me wet. I needed release–something that Matt was not
about to give me. Something Matt appeared, on a sordid level,
to
 
enjoy
 
not giving me.

Would having
sex with him make our relationship any simpler? Probably not.

I took out my
phone and punched in a message to him. I didn’t want Toby to
overhear anything.

I’m sorry. Can
we start over now? X

He read the
text and smiled at me ruefully, nudging my knee with his. My phone
beeped a moment later.

Trust me, babe.
I know what I’m doing xxx

We pulled up
outside an old chapel and the bass assaulted my ears.

“My mate’s band
is playing,” Matt said proudly. “They’re industrial.”

“What do they
make?”

“Oh, be
quiet.”

We paid the
driver and leaped out into the queue. Matt had a word with the
tattooed doorman, and then ushered us forward to shadowy
spotlights, sticky floors and a dull reek of beer.