Breaking Love (Full Hearts Book 2) (10 page)

“No, she isn’t.” He dismissed the idea. “And even if she were, there is no excuse that I will accept for her upsetting you like this. I’m sorry for her rudeness. Can we please start over?”

Megan shook her head sadly. “No, we can’t. I’m going home.”

“I know, but I can’t let you leave here hating me. Please don’t let Simone ruin our time together. Everything was real, Megan. All of it.” Unable to help himself, Luc lifted his hand and held her cheek in his palm. The door shut quietly behind him, leaving the pair standing alone in the hall again.

Megan made no effort to remove his hand, softening at the tenderness of his touch. “I believe you, Luc, but I’m also disappointed with some of the things I’ve learned about you today.”

Luc sighed heavily. “I will always regret that I disappointed you, Megan. When I woke up this morning, I reached for you but you were gone. I decided I would come find you as soon as I got out of my meeting. I hoped I could have just one more day with you and maybe, if I was really lucky, one more night as well. I was fooling myself last night to think that one night would be enough with you. It would take a thousand nights for me to even begin to get my fill.”

“Those are sweet words, Luc, and I appreciate that you came to find me. I’ll go home feeling less of a fool than I did this morning. But it doesn’t change the fact that whatever this was, it’s over. I’m going to go pack now and spend the evening with my friend. Take care of yourself, Luc.”

Luc sighed, realizing he had gotten as far as he could with her at the moment. “I will go, but I’m walking away from you with many regrets. I will regret the things I said and did that upset you. I will regret that I never got the chance to wake up with you in my arms. Most of all, I will regret that you are not with me.”

He pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her one last time. “You
are
a beautiful woman, and I hope you will let yourself have the life you deserve.”

Megan’s hands were pressed against his chest. She could feel her body respond to his touch and her anger melt away. “I hope you’ll do the same. Goodbye, Luc.”

He kissed her lips slowly and carefully, both of them taking in the feel of each other one last time before he walked away. Megan felt a sense of heartache settle over her as the door closed behind her. She was confused. Part of her wanted to believe it all was real, part of her still felt used, but most of her knew it really didn’t matter. They were done. He would now be just another memory for her.

The next day, Megan felt completely drained as she waited for her connecting flight in New York. The flight was delayed a couple of hours due to bad weather. She had called her mom to let her know about the delay and then wandered around the shops in JFK for a while. She desperately wanted to get home to her cozy house on her quiet street and return to her very predictable life with Elliott and her mom.

Try as she might, she couldn’t help feeling overcome by swells of emotion throughout the day. Luc had occupied her thoughts for most of her flight from Paris and she had finally decided to allow herself the day to get over him. It had come as no surprise how much this was affecting her. It was as though being with him had opened up a floodgate of feelings she had managed to hold back for half a decade. She had allowed herself to be truly vulnerable and intimate with him, and it had been a mistake. Leaving Paris with a sense of humiliation and sadness was not at all what she had wanted.

Megan knew she needed to find a way to put this behind her—and soon. She couldn’t afford to spend time wallowing. She had a son who needed her, a home to take care of and a business to run. Once she was back home again, she would be so busy she’d be able to settle back into her routine and forget.

As she waited at the boarding gate, she got a text from Harper.

Missing my friend SO much already. I’m so sorry about how things turned out, Megan. I hope this won’t stop you from taking another trip with me someday. I promise not to push a man on you again. XOXO.

Megan thought for a moment before she replied.

Two years, no more asking me to go on a trip with you. We made a deal. Don’t worry about the whole Luc thing. I’m over it. I got what I wanted from him, plus he is huge, which was a real bonus. XOXO, Love ’em and leave ’em Meg.

She hoped her attempt at humour would help Harper feel better about the whole thing. Harper had been visibly upset by what had happened and the role she had played in it. Megan had tried to reassure Harper that it was her choice alone, but her friend would not be consoled.

Luc passed through the door to his apartment, covered in sweat. He had been absolutely vicious at his kickboxing session that evening. His instructor, François, had had a tough time keeping the upper hand. Luc had been trying to work out the intense frustration he felt about Megan. He was angry. He hated that she’d left thinking he was little more than a womanizer. He hated that he couldn’t get her off his mind. But most of all, he hated that he would never have her again. That thought was the worst of all. He was going to have to do whatever it took to forget her. He didn’t believe in happily-ever-afters. He wasn’t ever going to be good for her or her son. He could never give her the life she deserved. As much as he hoped she would find someone good enough for her, the thought of another man touching her enraged him. This thought had made him kick François hard enough to send him flying across the mat.

When he got up, François glared at him. “That’s enough for tonight. Go home and come back when you want to learn skills, not take your rage out on me.”

The two men glared at each other for a long moment, adrenalin pumping, breathing heavily, both ready to fight before Luc realized he
was
taking it out on François. He apologized quietly and left.

Now that he was alone in his apartment, the expansive space he had always relished felt exceedingly empty. Luc had hoped that going to kickboxing would exhaust him enough to shake off his restlessness and sleep tonight, but it had only served to get him more agitated. He showered before pouring himself a double bourbon. Trying to prevent himself from thinking about Megan had proved futile. Luc needed to get out of there, away from the memory of her. He flipped on his computer and booked a trip to Aspen to go check on his club there. It had been close to six months since he had been there and he was due for a visit. He would go next week.

“Come little man! We’re going to be late!” Megan called up the stairs to Elliott’s room. She could hear that he had gotten caught up playing with his toys instead of getting dressed like he was supposed to be doing.

She was rushing around, making his lunch and stuffing his snow pants into his backpack. Megan had hit the snooze button twice on her alarm, and now they were running late.

“Let’s go! Elliott! The roads are bad today, so we have to leave early!”

He came running down the stairs a minute later. “Sorry, Mom! Lex Luthor was going to take over the world and Superman needed Iron Man’s help to stop him.”

Megan gave him an exasperated smile as she held his coat out for him. She pulled her new cream-coloured coat out of the closet and put in on. The memory of Luc undoing its buttons for her flashed in her mind. She could see the tender expression on his face as he smiled down at her. For a second, her heart felt like it was being squeezed.
No! Stop that
, she told herself.

“Nice coat, Mom. Is that new too?” Elliott asked.

“Yes, it’s one of the things Auntie Harper got for me from the magazine.”

“You look really pretty. You’re just as pretty as Auntie Harper.”

Megan kissed him on the top of his head. “You’re a sweetheart. Now, let’s get going!”

She dropped him off at school, a few minutes late but in time with most of the parents. Traffic crawled along due to the heavy snowfall that had come overnight. Megan made her way over to the supermarket and did her big shop for the week, struggling to push the cart through the snow-filled parking lot to her car. She was sweating by the time she unloaded the bags into her trunk.

Back at home, she put everything away and started a load of laundry. She didn’t have a photo session booked that day, which would give her a chance to catch up on her housework and shovelling, even though every part of her just wanted to curl up in bed, pull the covers over her head and go to sleep for a week. After lunch, she changed into an old coat to shovel. She sighed as she stepped out the door, seeing the mound of snow she needed to move. Picking up the shovel, she got started. She wondered what Luc would think seeing her like this—dressed in an old ski jacket, a hat and mitts, and her big, hideously ugly but warm winter boots. He wouldn’t have been even the least bit interested in a woman like that. This was who she really was—not that done-up woman with the red lipstick whom he had met last week. She tried to imagine him out here shovelling, but the image was completely absurd. Her thoughts were interrupted by her neighbour, Charlie, calling to her.

“Megan! I see you’re back in time for the big blizzard!”

“Hi, Charlie. Yes, I am! Good thing, or you would have been stuck shovelling all of this for me.”

“I wouldn’t mind a bit. A man my age needs to stay in shape!”

“Thank you so much for taking care of things while I was gone. I wouldn’t have felt right asking my mom to do it.” She smiled at Charlie. He was a kind man in his early seventies. His wife had passed away a few years earlier.

“It was my pleasure. Glad I could help.”

“One second! I have a little thank-you gift for you in the house.” Megan put down her shovel and trudged back inside, coming out a moment later with a bottle of very nice red wine. She walked over to Charlie’s driveway, where he was shovelling, to give it to him.

“Here. Thank you, Charlie. I really appreciate it.”

“Oh, Megan, thank you. This is a Mâconnais! That’s a very good wine. That’s too much, really.”

“No, it’s not so expensive there. I want you to have it.”

“Thank you. You’re a nice lady.” He paused, looking awkward for a moment. Swallowing hard, he looked up from the bottle of wine to Megan’s face. “Speaking of nice ladies, is your mom seeing anyone these days?”

Megan’s mouth dropped and she smiled at her neighbour. “Why, Charlie, you sly dog! No, my mom is most definitely not seeing anyone.”

“Would she be interested in an old codger like me, you think?”

“I don’t know, but I could do some recon for you if you’d like.”

“Would you?” His eyes lit up.

“Yes. I think you two would make a lovely couple. Besides, it would be good for her to get back into the dating scene.”

“My kids have been on me to do the same. I’m finally feeling like I’m ready to spend time with a lady again. Life is for living, right?”

“That it is, Charlie,” she agreed. “I better get back to clearing this snow so I can shower before it’s time to pick up Elliott.”

“Okay, thank you for the wine, Megan. I hope I can share it with your mom.”

“I hope so too. I’ll let you know as soon as I can.”

* * *

That night while she was doing the dishes, Megan called her mom. They chatted for a few minutes before she approached the subject of Charlie.

“So, Mom, it looks like you have an admirer. Charlie Peterson from next door asked about you today. He wanted to know if you are seeing anyone.”

Her mom sounded flustered when she spoke. “Charlie? He asked about me? Really? Well, I thought for sure some woman had already snagged him up. What did you tell him?”

“I told him you had lots of men on the go, but that I thought you had said you were free this Friday night,” Megan teased.

“What? You did not! You better call him right back and tell him none of that is true. He’s going to think I’m a floozy!”

“I didn’t tell him that. I’m just kidding. But it’s interesting that you care what he thinks. It sounds like you might be fond of him!”

“Megan, I see what you did there, but I am not going to start dating. I’m an old lady and I like doing old-lady things. Looking after my grandkids, gardening, knitting—”

“Knitting? You’ve never picked up a ball of yarn in your entire life! And you’re not an old lady, either. You’re young and beautiful, and he’s a nice man, Mom. You should go out with him. Just for a coffee. If it’s not awful, maybe let him take you for dinner,” Megan answered.

“Tell you what. I’ll start dating when you do.”

“Oh, well in that case, I’ll call him and tell him there’s no chance.”

“Exactly. Now do you still need me to come on Friday evening and Saturday?”

“Yes, they haven’t called off the wedding yet. Friday, we have the rehearsal at 6 p.m. Saturday, I have to be at the salon at 8 a.m. to get pictures of the bride getting her hair done.”

“Oh my, so that’s going to be a long day for you. Is she a bridezilla?”

“The worst one yet, and I get to follow her around from the crack of dawn until they cut the cake. It’s okay, though. For what they’re paying me, she can be as bitchy as she wants.” Megan looked up from the pot she was scrubbing to see Elliott walk into the kitchen.

“Oh, Mom. Elliott’s out of bed. I better run.”

“Okay, my girl. Give him a kiss from Grandma.”

“Will do. Love you.”

“Love you too.”

Megan hung up and dried her hands on a towel. “What’s up, sweetie? I thought you’d be asleep already.”

“Yeah, sorry, Mom. I was just thinking about my birthday.”

“It’s not for two months, honey. We can talk about it in the morning,” Megan said, gently placing her hand on his blond hair and guiding him back up the stairs.

“I was just thinking, what if we gave Dad enough notice this year? Do you think he could make it then?”

Megan looked down at his little face. He looked so hopeful that it broke her heart. She knew someday that look of hope would be replaced by a cynical expression when they spoke of his father. She always imagined it would happen right around the time he stopped believing in Santa Claus and the tooth fairy. She was not looking forward to that day.

Megan sighed and gave him a weak smile. “We’ll see, baby. Florida is pretty far from here. I’ll email him after you’re in bed to ask.”

Elliott smiled up at her as she snuggled him under his covers. “I was thinking maybe he could buy me a ball glove and a bat for my birthday. My old glove that Grandma bought me is kind of babyish and he’ll know just what to pick.”

Megan kissed him on the forehead. “We’ll see, sweetie. For now, you go off to dreamland, okay?”

“Okay. Do you want to meet me there later?” He smiled up at her.

“I do. Where should we go?” Megan gently tapped her index finger on the tip of her son’s nose.

“Paris? That sounded like fun.”

Megan tried not to wince. “How about Hawaii? I’d like to teach you how to surf.”

“But
you
don’t know how.”

“In a dream, we can be good at anything we want, and I’m going to be a champion surfer tonight. Now, time to sleep, my boy.”

“See you at the beach, Mom”

“See you there.” She kissed his little cheek before turning off his light.

* * *

An hour later, Megan checked to make sure Elliott was asleep before she picked up the phone to call Ian. Her heart sped up as she dialed his number. She hoped it was early enough in the evening that he would be sober.

She waited for three rings and then a woman answered. “Hello?”

Megan was surprised. “Oh, hi. I’m looking for Ian.”

“Sure. He’s just in the shower. Can I tell him who called?” She sounded friendly and rather young.

“I’m his ex-wife, Megan. I was just calling him about our son’s birthday.”

“Oh hi, Megan. I’ll tell him to call you right back, okay?”

“Thank you . . . um. Sorry, I don’t know your name.”

“I’m Georgie.”

“Georgie, are you two together now?”

“Yeah, I moved in with him a couple of weeks ago.”

Megan felt a stab of pain at the idea of Ian being able to hold it together for some other woman. But maybe he wasn’t. Maybe she was an addict too, or was willing to put up with one.

“Good. We’ll, I’m glad he’s happy,” she said quietly.

“Thanks. We both are. I’ll get him to call you.”

“Perfect. Bye.”

Megan hung up. As much as she knew she didn’t want Ian back, it was hard for her to think of him with someone else. He had promised to love her forever and he hadn’t even made it three years. Maybe Georgie could straighten him out in a way she couldn’t. Megan tried to busy herself folding laundry and tidying up the house while she waited for a call that never came.

She thought about a time two years earlier, when Ian had been sober for several months. They had met at their friends’ guest ranch outside Colorado Springs and spent two lovely weeks together as summer wound down. She and Elliott had stayed in one of the cabins while Ian had stayed at his friend Ben’s home on the property. Ian and Elliott grew close during that time, while Megan kept a manageable distance, observing Ian carefully. Ian had spent every waking minute with their son, trying to make up for lost time. They played catch, swam in the pool and ended each day with Elliott sitting on his dad’s lap while Ian read to him. Elliott had fallen in love with having a dad during that trip and a horrible void was created when Ian relapsed shortly afterward, disappearing from their lives again. A pang of guilt accompanied each memory of that trip for Megan. If only she had known then what she knew now—that it was better to let Elliott remain ignorant of what he was missing than to give him a taste of it, only to have it taken away.

By the time she turned her bedside lamp off that night, she was seething with that all-too-familiar rage at her ex-husband. She could try to convince herself that maybe he hadn’t been given the message, but she doubted it. He hadn’t called or sent Elliott a gift for Christmas. Megan had bought a train set and wrapped it, pretending Ian had sent it. So far, her son seemed to be fooled by her efforts on her ex-husband’s behalf for each special occasion, but Megan knew it was only a matter of time before he figured it out. Maybe she should just tell Elliott the truth: that his dad wasn’t well and would never be a part of Elliott’s life.

* * *

The next morning, after she got Elliott off to school, Megan tried Ian’s number again. This time he picked up.

“Hello?”

“Hi Ian, it’s Meg.”

“Meg, hi. Sorry I didn’t get back to you last night. We had to head out for a dinner and I figured it would be too late to call you when we got home.”

Megan paused for a moment, trying to push down her frustration before she spoke. “That’s okay, Ian. I was calling because Elliott was talking about his birthday last night. He thought maybe if we invited you early enough, you could make it to his party this year.”

“Oh, well, I don’t know, Meg. I’ll have to see, okay? It looks like I might get a chance as a third-base coach for the Suns this year. His birthday is right during spring training camp.”

“The Suns? Good for you, Ian. I hope that works out. Maybe you could come up before it starts or something. Bring Georgie. Elliott really wants a new ball glove and a bat this year, and he wants an expert to pick them out for him.”

“He still likes baseball? That’s nice to hear. I’ll see what I can do. How is he doing?”

“He’s good. He’s growing like a weed and he’s doing so well in school this year. He’s actually starting to read. It’s amazing to watch.”

“That’s great, Meg. You haven’t emailed me any pictures for a while. I miss seeing what he’s up to.”

“Right. Well, I didn’t hear from you, so I wasn’t sure if you were interested.”

“He’s my son, Meg. Of course I’m interested!” She could picture his face screwed up into a scowl. “What? Is that some type of punishment for everything? To stop sending pictures?”

Megan closed her eyes, trying to keep her temper in check. It would do no good to pick a fight. A fight would mean there was no chance that Ian would acknowledge Elliott’s birthday.

She took a deep breath and then spoke quietly. “Of course not, Ian. I would never do that. I want you to be a part of Elliott’s life, no matter how things turned out between us. He needs his dad. Maybe we could arrange a Skype call this weekend?”

Her placating words seemed to have the desired effect. “Yeah? Okay. I’d like that.”

“Good. When would be a good time for us to get a hold of you?”

“I’m not sure right now. I’ll email you to let you know, okay?”

“Okay, Ian. We’ll wait to hear from you.”