Breaking Noah (19 page)

It’s early the next morning when I wake up. The sun is pouring through the gap in the curtains, which makes going back to sleep nearly impossible. Rolling over, I realize the bed next to me is empty. I vaguely remember Noah getting up a few hours ago, but I wasn’t awake enough for it to register.

Pushing back the covers, I lower my feet to the cold wooden floor. I stand up, wrapping my arms around me to try to keep in some warmth. I wander out of the bedroom and spot Noah in the kitchen surrounded by pots and pans. The smell of coffee hits me and my mouth begins to salivate.

“Hey, sleepy,” he says, with a smile that makes my heart race. “We don’t have a lot of options, so I hope you like waffles with frozen berries and maple syrup.”

“So long as there’s coffee to go along with that, it sounds perfect.” I smile, sliding into one of the chairs that surround the small wooden dining table. “What time is it?” I wonder aloud.

He nods to the clock above my head. Eight a.m.
I’m never up this early.

“So, what’s the plan for today?” I ask.

“We wait for Derrick to come looking for us. Any moment now he’ll realize I haven’t returned his car. He knows where this place is. I’m hoping it doesn’t take him too long to figure out I would’ve brought you here.” I smile as he places a cup of coffee in front of me, along with a plate stacked high with waffles.

“Thanks.” I grin, pick up my fork, and dig in. Surprisingly—considering how long they’ve probably been in that freezer—they taste pretty damn good.

He sits down next to me and begins to eat. Every time he lifts his fork his arm brushes past mine, sending my body into overdrive. God, this man drives me crazy.

My mind wanders back to last night, and what he said to me just before I fell asleep. He loves me. Even after all this, he loves me. If there is
any
chance of us getting through this, I’m going to grasp it with both hands and hold on for dear life.

“So,” I begin, wetting my lips nervously. “What now? With us?”

He glances at me, his eyes wide, as if surprised by my forwardness. If there is one thing I’ve learned, it’s that creeping around our feelings isn’t going to get me anywhere. I need to be direct and force him to confront this head-on. My heart pounds as I wait for him to answer.

“Honestly? I don’t know.”

Not exactly the response I was hoping for.

“I don’t doubt your feelings, Zara. Or mine. It’s just—” He sighs, his voice breaking off as he shakes his head.

“You can’t trust me,” I finish, in a small voice. “What if I earn your trust back?”

“How do you plan on doing that?” he asks suspiciously.

I haven’t thought that far ahead.
How can I prove to him that he can trust me?
I betrayed him in the worst possible way. Without trust, all the love in the fucking world is useless. My shoulders deflate as I come up empty.
I have no problems plotting to ruin his life, but I can’t think of one single way to regain his trust?

“It’s just going to take time, Zara,” he says, his voice gentle. “Don’t try to rush this, okay? I’m not going anywhere.”

He’s not?
I look up at him, my eyes meeting his. I wish I could believe him, that he wasn’t going anywhere. Only I’ve heard that before. Too often. The people I love almost always leave me. I can’t let that happen with him.

“Everyone I love leaves me in the end,” I whisper, my fingers toying with the hem of the T-shirt I’m wearing. His eyes dart downward, then back up to my gaze. He leans over, his thumb gently wiping below my eye. I blink, sending more tears rolling down my cheek.

“I’m not everyone, Zara.”

Setting our empty dishes in the sink, I turn around to find Noah missing again. This guy is stealthy, I’ll give him that. Deciding to clean up later, I meander into the living area to find him sitting on the couch, head in his hands.

“What’s wrong?” I ask, unsure I want the answer.

“I was just thinking how screwed up I must be to want a woman who was determined to destroy me just a few short weeks ago. It’s pretty fucked up, if you actually sit back and think about it.”

“It is pretty weird, but the heart wants what the heart wants, right?” I try to make logic out of an insane situation. Sitting next to him, our thighs brush slightly, and it’s all I need to add gasoline to the already blazing inferno inside me. I’ve never wanted anything more than I want Noah right now.

Swallowing down all my insecurities where he’s concerned, I make a brazen move I hope doesn’t land me alone on the couch again. Reaching out, I take his hand in mine, bring it to my lips, and plant an innocent kiss on his palm. His muscles tighten under my hold, as if he’s wanting to pull away from me, but he gives in to my touch. Noah turns over his hand, brings it to my cheek, and softly runs the pad of his thumb across the heated flesh.

How can something so innocent feel so seductive?

I lean in to his hand, relishing his touch. His fingers move toward the back of my head, into my hair, and I close my eyes. Nothing has ever felt more right than this exact moment. When his digits curl into the hair at the nape of my neck and tug, bringing my head back with them, a soft moan escapes my lips.

With my neck exposed, Noah’s lips find the sensitive spot just below my ear and place a light kiss. Fireworks explode within my core. I need to be closer to him. As close as I can possibly be.

Swinging my leg over his, he doesn’t resist when I prop myself up on his lap. I still give him access to my neck, as he seems to be enjoying himself, but this position gives me the access to touch him as well. My hands find his hair and our actions mirror each other’s—grab, pull, massage.

He kisses his way up my jawline torturously slowly, and when our lips finally meet, I can’t help but rock myself into his growing erection. With a growl, his tongue grows demanding, commanding my lips to part and allow him access, which I do unhesitatingly, needing the contact as much as he does.

In one swift movement I pull the T-shirt over my head, leaving me straddling his lap wearing only his boxers and a black lace bra.

The feral look in his eyes heats me straight through. My skin flushes under his glare. The needy woman in me yearns for the demanding man in him.

“Please,” I whisper in his ear, my lips grazing his lobe.

“I couldn’t deny you right now if I wanted to,” he responds, and my heart leaps.

Noah stands and I wrap my legs around his waist as he carries me into the bedroom. Softly, he lays me back on the bed. Gently, he removes my underwear, sucking in a large gulp of air when I’m fully exposed to him.

Noah pulls the cups of my bra away from my breasts and my erect nipples graze against his shirt. As if he can read my mind, he backs away and rips his shirt from his chest. Bringing his body down to mine, he nestles his erection, still covered with the softest cotton pants, between my parted thighs, teasing my already sensitive body.

I desperately try to remove his pants with my toes, but it’s no use. Looking into my eyes, he laughs. “Needy much, are we?”

“You have no idea,” I say, exasperated. “I need you.”

“That’s all you had to say.” Without leaving the bed, he shuffles his pants down to his ankles and kicks them away.

Reaching down into the slight gap between our bodies, he strokes himself and my mouth waters. Teasing my entrance with the head of his cock, he never breaks eye contact.

“Have you been to the doctor?” I nod, unable to form a coherent answer if I’d tried.

“And you’re clean?” Again, I nod.

“You want this?” This question I can answer.

“Yes,” I all but scream in response.

His lip turns up in the sexiest grin I’ve ever seen, one that’s reserved just for me, and he thrusts inside me. My back arches, my feet plant firmly on the mattress, and my hands pull his head down to me. He begins to pull back and I moan in protest into his mouth, which is barely touching mine. Again, he chuckles as he slams back into me, harder than he did the first time.

It feels heavenly. The fire starts low in my belly as he slowly, yet forcefully, rocks into me. I can feel myself growing higher and higher, but I still need more. Meeting him thrust for thrust, his tempo picks up, and within minutes I’m falling apart in his arms.

Noah’s fingers tangle in my hair, his other arm under my ass at the perfect angle after my sated body gives up, and with a primal growl, his orgasm throws me into another one.

Other times we’ve been together, it’s never been like this. No pretenses, no games, no ulterior motive—just two people maybe in love, making love. I’ve never felt, nor do I think I will ever will feel this complete again.

I don’t register Noah leaving the bed, but when I feel the damp, warm cloth cleaning me, it brings me back to reality. As much as I was loving being in my own post-orgasmic world, this one is so much better.

I curl up in his arms as the cool air hits my clammy skin, making me shiver. He kisses my forehead and holds me tight. I love the way his arms make me feel so protected.

“You know,” he says with a chuckle, “there’s a pretty good chance I was conceived on this bed.”

“Oh, yuck.” I giggle, slapping his arm. “I did not need to know that. I’ll never be able to look them in the eye.”
If I ever meet them.
At that moment, it occurs to me that they’ve probably seen the video. Everyone has seen the fucking video. It’s one thing for him to forgive me, but I hadn’t even thought about his family or his friends. I can’t even imagine what they must be thinking of me. I cringe at the thought of his dad seeing me naked. And in that pose…

Oh, God, I’m going to be sick.

“Where’ve you gone?” he asks gently. “You look a little green.” He tilts my head up, letting his lips graze mine. I sigh, the softness of his touch against me electric.

“Just thinking about stuff,” I reply, dropping my eyes. I really don’t want to elaborate.

“Like what?” he presses.

“Like how I thought the hardest part was going to be gaining your trust again, when in reality that’s just the beginning. Has your family seen the video?” I ask.

“They have,” he replies. I can tell by the way his jaw clenches when he speaks that it isn’t good. “I don’t care about what my family thinks, Zara. I honestly don’t give a damn whether or not they approve of you. They’ve never liked any of my girlfriends, if that makes you feel any better.”

He watches me for a moment before speaking again.

“There’s something else, isn’t there?”

I shrug. “I just want this whole mess to go away, but I’m not sure how to do that. And I hate that in all of this, Dillon gets away with everything he has done with no consequences. That’s what bothers me the most. He continues on like nothing happened and there isn’t a single fucking thing I can do about it. And he
knows
that.”

I watch as Noah’s lips slowly spread into a smirk.

“You just gave me an idea.”

Before I can question him, I’m interrupted by loud, persistent banging on the front door.

“You better be in there, Bain!”

The perfect plan hatches in my head and I can’t wait to tell Zara all about it. Being a professor kind of gives you the inside track on who’s doing what and all that stuff. The students talk while they’re supposed to be working, and they never realize that I’m listening to every word they’re saying.

In one of my lit classes, a few of Dillon’s frat brothers sit side by side near the front of the room, so all of their dirty little secrets they think they’re guarding so carefully are spilled right into my ears. I never wanted to violate their trust and all, but Zara’s right. If Dillon did send out the video trying to get back at her, and based on the fact that he was fucking her cousin and knocked her up, I’m going to go ahead and say I believe Zara. He needs to learn a fucking lesson.

I’m just about to tell Zara what I heard those two boys talking about a few weeks ago when Derrick’s angry voice booms on the other side of the door, screaming something about driving all the way out here.

“Shit.” I chuckle. “Looks like we’ve been rescued.”

“Help me find my clothes,” she says, panic evident in her voice. That’s another reason I know it couldn’t have been her who’d sent out the video. If it had been her, why would she be so modest now? She’d assume all of my friends already saw her exposed, and her being wrapped in a sheet really wouldn’t matter.

Jumping out of bed, I grab a clean T-shirt and a pair of boxers, tossing them her way. I wish she did fit the pants. As much as she doesn’t want Derrick to see her this way, I’m dreading opening the door. I wish we could just stay like this for a few days before going back to the crazy world of reporters who want to drag this story out for as long as they can.

“You’ve got one minute, Noah, and I’m breaking down the fucking door.”

“Sounds like that’s my final warning,” I joke, hopping into a pair of pants and making my way to the door. As I approach, I can hear Derrick counting. He really wasn’t playing about that whole minute thing. He’s usually the jokester, whereas I’m the more responsible one, but right now I feel like switching the tables a little. Purposefully, I wait until he’s reached fifty-eight before I turn the door handle and pull it open.

Without waiting, Derrick storms into the living room, hands flailing around, a bunch of words coming out of his mouth at such a quick pace that I can’t understand anything he’s going on about. At that moment, Zara makes her entrance from the bedroom, her hair still mussed from our post-breakfast workout.

“Really?” Derrick asks, looking back and forth between me and Zara. “You borrow my car, bring it up here, don’t bother answering your phone, and fuck the girl who’s ruining your life?” He pauses, turns to Zara, and takes a step in her direction. “You’ve got some nerve, you little bitch—”

I cut him off, rushing to stand between the two. “Shut your mouth. You don’t know what’s going on, D. Give me a second to explain.”

“Fuck that noise. This little shit sends out a sex tape to everyone you know and you’re taking her side? The pussy must be real good, sweetheart.”

Zara’s eyes well with tears, and before I can think about what I’m doing, my fingers curl into a fist, and with as much momentum as I can muster, my hand flies toward Derrick’s face, catching him in the jaw. He stumbles backward and I follow. I’m about to strike again when a small hand grabs my wrist.

“Don’t.” That’s all she says, and it’s all I need to take that moment I should have a few seconds ago. “He’s right,” she says, when she realizes I’m listening to her. “I messed up everything. He should be here calling me names and wanting answers. It’s not his fault. Don’t be upset with him. He’s right.”

Derrick rubs his jaw, looking again between Zara and myself when his lips turn upward. “Well, shit. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say this little girl has you twisted, Bain.”

A tear falls from Zara’s eye and she gives Derrick a weak smile. “I hope so,” she whispers, giving him the answer he wants.

“Let’s get you two out of here and back to the land of the living. I’ll expect one of you to pay for my gas, though. And the damn tow truck to get my BMW home.”

Quickly Zara and I grab our stuff and head out the door into Derrick’s waiting SUV. Stuffing Zara in the backseat, I climb in front. The ride back to town is quiet, knowing we’re returning to the root of all evil. Campus.

On the bright side, though, when we’re back at my apartment, I can lay out the plan to make Dillon pay for hurting Karly and Zara. If all goes the way I want it to, he’ll be expelled before the week’s over and Zara and I can figure out how to make whatever this is work.

“You want to do what?” Zara asks, after I lay out the idea I had to get Dillon back.

“It’ll work perfectly. Those guys have no clue that I know anything, so it’s safe to assume Dillon won’t be stopping his extracurricular activities anytime soon. All we need is for him to get caught.”

“And how exactly do you think that’s going to happen?”

“That’s the tricky part, but I think we can do it. Are you in?” The dean is looking for any way to make this stop or something else to take the attention off of me. I’d have to agree with her on this. She’ll be open to just about anything at this point. It’s all about changing the headline and making the university look good rather than bad.

“Of course I’m in. That’s a stupid question. What do we do first?”

Over the next hour or so, Zara and I talk about everything under the sun in regard to Dillon. What his schedule is like, where he goes after classes, who he hangs out with, how he gets around. Everything is taken into account, and finally the plan is starting to seem more and more logical.

“You know that this isn’t going to clear your name, right?” Zara stares down at her lap. I’m sensing some guilt again, and I need her to stop.

“Listen to me,” I say, kneeling in front of her and meeting her eyes. “I’m not trying to save my reputation. It’s already tarnished. Even if we found some crazy way to make people think Dillon is the bad guy, they’re never going to see me as anything more than a professor who slept with a student. This, what we’re planning, is to get Dillon back. You started this mission in hopes of giving Karly some justice. He’s the person who hurt her, and I’m going to help you clear
her
name. Or at least give you the peace of mind you need.”

“But why are you doing this? After all that happened, Noah, there’s no way I can make it up to you.” She casts her gaze to the side, and I follow.

“Stop it. We’re both a little twisted and kind of deserve each other. It’s done, it’s over. We can’t go back and change anything, so let’s just work with what we have. You started all of this to get justice for Karly. Well, you’re doing just that and getting the closure you need to move forward. Maybe when he matures, he’ll see what he did in a new light—realize he was wrong.” She nods and I take her hand in mine. “You ready to go right a wrong?”

With a huge smile on her face, every tooth showing, she shakes her head. “Hell, yeah. For Karly.”

“For all of us.”

Even though it’s pissing me off to see Zara so comfortable with another man, especially one who wants her as bad as he does, we need Luke for this plan to work. There’s nothing I can do, and the same for Zara. Dillon would be too aware of us, even for a dumbass. So we have to use the only other person we think can get through to him.

It’s been known that Dillon is the man on campus to go to if the frat needs anything to party with. He’s not really into the hardcore drugs like coke and meth, but he’s got a pill for everything. GHB being his specialty. It also helps our case that for the last year, the number of date rapes has increased, each one being laced with the date-rape drug, but the supplier hasn’t been found. Dillon’s been questioned before by campus security and the local police, but with his father’s connections, he’s always been released. Hell, I would’ve turned him in before, citing the students who were talking about it, but they were never willing to come forward. With Luke’s help, we should be able to get him dead to rights and he’ll not only pay for what he did to Karly, Zara, and myself, but all the women he’s harmed over the years.

I didn’t tell Zara about the GHB, because, after all, it’s just a notion I have, but I do have confirmation that he sells speed, Vicodin, and Xanax, so that’s what she thinks we’re going after.

A few more moments go by with me keeping a watchful eye on Zara as she engages Luke, and then she’s sauntering back toward me. She has an uneasy look on her face and I’m finding it very hard to keep myself sane enough to not hurt Luke. He had to have said something to upset her again after I spent all that time making sure she was good.

“What’s wrong?” I ask, pulling her into my arms and rubbing her back softly.

“Is Dillon selling the date-rape drug?” I knew I shouldn’t have trusted that little bastard. Of course he would know and of course he would tell her. And I can’t lie to her. I just can’t.

“Yes,” I whisper, placing my lips on the top of her head.

“You should have told me.”

“I know. I’m sorry. Does Luke think he can help?”

“That’s the part I’m nervous about. He made a really good point and I think I’m going to help him. Luke said that if we want to ensure that he sells him the date-rape drug, he has to have me with him. Dillon will do anything he thinks will hurt me, and if he thinks Luke’s going to rape me, he’ll do it. Then we have him.”

“No. Hell, no. I don’t want you within spitting distance of that asshole. I’d rather forget the entire thing and just leave. No.”

“You’re probably going to get upset with me, but I’m going to do it. It’s for Karly.”

“I don’t like it. This is going against everything my gut’s screaming at me, Zara.”

“I’m not asking you to be a fan of this idea. I’m telling you I’m going to do it and I’m hoping that you won’t be too mad to still want to do this, but I understand if you don’t. Luke and I can handle it.”

“We’ll meet Luke at the student union at eight tonight. Tell him not to be late.” This shouldn’t be happening. I don’t want anyone thinking that my girl is about to screw the football star that is Luke, but what choice do I have? The kid has a point. Dillon will do just about anything to hurt Zara. He’ll want to get back at her. I just hope this doesn’t put her in the way of too much harm.

Even more than that, I really hope I can trust Luke not to hurt her. I’d hate to be known as the professor that fucks his students and kills the ones who are douche bags.