Breaking Pointe (5 page)

A few hours later I was still sitting at the kitchen bench. The girls had gone home but my stomach was all in knots. I picked at my tights. I rebraided my hair. I squished a sweet potato ball under my thumb.

My head was going round and round: basketball, athletics, basketball, athletics.

Nana came in and started clearing all the dirty milkshake glasses.

‘You make all this mess?' she joked, nodding at the crumbs that were scattered over the table. ‘I thought dancers were supposed to be delicate and dainty.'

‘Only the boring ones,' I said.

‘Mmmhmm,' said Nana. ‘Now, what was this emergency meeting for? You sort it out?'

‘Not sure,' I said, ‘but it was good to tell someone else and not just keep it all to myself.'

Nana shut the dishwasher and leaned on the bench opposite me. ‘I know something's been going on. You want to tell me? Or do I have to dirty-dishcloth it out of you?' She dangled the wet, gross dishcloth over me.

‘Don't!' I screamed. ‘I'm still in my ballet clothes.'

‘You get those off and put them in the wash basket,' said Nana. ‘But first, you tell me what's been going on.'

She had her serious face on, so I put my head in my hands and spilled.

‘On Saturday I have three major events – the athletics carnival, the basketball final, and the ballet eisteddfod.'

‘Okay,' said Nana. ‘So what? You gonna turn into Superman and be in three places at once? Or you gonna be sensible and choose?'

‘Well, that's the thing,' I said. ‘I didn't want to choose. I thought I could do it all. But I can't.'

‘And who was gonna be driving you all around from one thing to the next?' asked Nana.

‘Probably you,' I said. ‘Which is why I felt bad.'

‘You know I love my girl having so many interests,' said Nana, ‘but you gotta choose. And you gotta do it quick. You don't want to tell people last minute. That's not nice.'

‘I know that already!' I said. ‘What do you think I've spent the last few weeks trying to figure out?'

‘You watch that tongue,' said Nana, showing me the dishcloth again. Then she sighed and chucked it in the sink. ‘Look, honey,' she said, putting the kettle on, ‘you want a Milo?' I nodded, and she took out two cups.

‘I know you want to do everything, and I know you hate people telling you that you have to choose. But at least for Saturday, they're right. You don't want to run around being late and only half-switched on when you're there because you're worrying about where you have to be next. And you're gonna be tired and you'll let people down. So you need to be a grown-up and decide what is most important.'

‘Well, I think I'm going to do the ballet eisteddfod,' I said. ‘That's on at night. And if
I don't, I won't be able to do my ballet exams, which would be awful, because I've worked really hard this year and want to move up a level.'

‘Very sensible,' said Nana with a smile as she measured out two heaped spoons of Milo. ‘Sugar?'

‘No, thanks,' I said. ‘And Ashley and Ellie said they were going to watch, plus I just really want to do the dance, it's so beautiful. And I don't want to let the class down. I know Tove could step in if I pulled out, but it wouldn't be the same.'

‘Mmmhmm,' said Nana. ‘What else?'

‘I want to do basketball, too,' I said. ‘That's on in the afternoon. How often do you get to be in a grand final? Also, the team is counting on me. And I want to show Aidan that he's not the only one in the family who can shoot hoops.'

‘I heard that!' Aidan yelled from another room.

‘Bug off!' I yelled back.

‘Oooooooh,' teased Aidan, and I heard Heath laughing too.

‘Oi!' said Nana. ‘You two are meant to be putting Del to bed. Get on with it!'

‘Her nappies stink!' moaned Heath.

‘So do you!' I called back.

‘Enough!' said Nana. Then she went on making the Milo like nothing had happened. ‘And the athletics?'

‘Well,' I said, ‘I really want to do that. Imagine beating all the other schools in the one hundred metres!' I got the milk out of the fridge and handed it to Nana. ‘But, if I go there, I definitely can't do basketball. And also, the school has a substitute who trains with us, just in case any of us can't go.'

‘What's her name?' asked Nana.

‘Mietta,' I said.

‘Oh, I know her dad,' said Nana. ‘He owns Sports Plus, you know all those stores?'

‘Yeah,' I said. ‘So she could go in my place. It would make her really happy. And I wouldn't be letting the school down.'

Nana poured the milk into my Milo and handed it to me.

‘Well, honey,' she said, ‘you do what makes you feel good. I know you'll make the right decision. Just be quick about it, hey? The sooner you do it the sooner you'll feel better, and be able to concentrate on what's left.' She kissed the top of my head as she went out. ‘Rinse that mug when you're done.'

Mietta bounced up to me at recess the next day.

‘Hi Riley,' she said. ‘How was ballet last night? Sorry you missed training. It was a lot of fun. Mr Waters said I had to show you the work we did with baton exchanges. How about at lunch?'

‘Oh,' I said, ‘you don't have to worry …'

‘We were also talking about the order for the relay,' Mietta babbled on. ‘They want you
to be either first or last, because you're the fastest.'

‘Actually …'

‘You're so lucky to be on the team,' Mietta said. ‘I'm even thinking about coming to watch!'

‘Don't worry about that,' I said. ‘You can just have my place if you want.'

Mietta stopped. ‘What?'

‘I've decided that I can't do the athletics carnival,' I said. ‘And it's lucky, because we've got you as a reserve, and you're just as good. So, if you want, you can go instead of me.' I paused. ‘Actually, you kind of have to, because I can't do it.'

Mietta clapped her hands and looked like she was about to cry. ‘Are you serious? Only if you're sure? Oh my god! Really? You're the best!'

‘I should have just given it to you when I first found out,' I said. ‘But, you know …'

‘Thank you so much,' said Mietta. ‘Oh gosh, I'm going to have to get some new spikes! I've got to tell my dad!'

‘Okay,' I said. ‘Well, I've got to go tell Mr Waters, so … good luck. I know you guys will do great.'

‘Thank you!' said Mietta, and I quickly moved away before she started crying or something.

I was embarrassed that it meant so much to her, but it also felt kind of … nice – that I'd been able to give my place to someone who probably wanted it more than me.

I wasn't looking forward to telling Mr Waters, though. When I saw him across the playground I stopped and almost turned back to the monkey bars. But I pushed myself forward.

‘Uh, Mr Waters?' I asked.

He turned around, away from the kids he was yelling at to get off the grass. ‘Hi Riley,' he said. ‘What can I do for you?'

‘I can't go to the athletics carnival,' I blurted, ‘Mietta can have my place.'

I thought he might get mad but he looked almost relieved.

‘That's very nice of you, Riley,' he said. ‘I'm sorry about that, but Mietta will be thrilled.'

‘She is,' I said. ‘I already told her.' I scuffed my feet a bit. ‘Sorry I didn't tell you last week,' I added quickly. ‘I just really wanted to go, but I have the basketball final and a ballet eisteddfod on the same day and … it just didn't work.'

‘That's fine,' said Mr Waters. ‘I'm glad you told me. And I think you made the right decision. It's good you thought about it thoroughly. It shows that you were being mature and sensible.'

‘Yeah, all right,' I said, shrugging his words off. I hardly thought I was that – I mean, just look at the three brothers I came after!

‘Good luck with the final and the eisteddfod,' said Mr Waters. ‘I've heard some wonderful things about your dancing. At least now you'll have a bit more time to practise.'

‘Thanks, Mr Waters,' I said, and then dashed off before he could say anything else nice that would make me feel bad about mucking him around.

As I walked away, I felt a little smile twist its way onto my face. It was sad that I would miss the athletics carnival, but it was as if my head was lighter now. I'd made a decision and didn't have to worry anymore – and I'd made someone really happy.

And it felt great.

Now I just had to win the basketball final and be the best Fire Maiden ever.

By jazz class that Wednesday I felt 100 per cent better.

The past few weeks I'd been thinking of jazz as something else to worry about, something else that was taking up my time. I'd forgotten why I did it at all – because it was fun, and I loved having class with Ellie, Ashley and Paige.

I didn't have to worry about winning
grand finals or passing exams. I told myself to remember that I did dancing because, most of all, I loved it.

‘Wow, is that actually a smile on your face?' Ashley teased as I walked into the change room. ‘Or has your skin just cracked around the mouth?'

‘You're so funny, Ash,' I said to her, but I wasn't mad. I didn't think anything could break my good mood.

‘How did you go after we left?' asked Paige. ‘Did you make a decision? I hope we helped.'

‘We sure helped eat all the food around the place,' joked Ash. ‘I'm still full.'

‘Yeah, I decided not to go to the athletics carnival,' I said, pulling on my jazz shoes. ‘It was the right choice.'

‘That's really great,' said Paige. She sighed. ‘I'm doing too much at the moment, too.
Maybe I should follow in your footsteps, Riley.'

Ellie made her entrance then, pushing the door open and stamping in, her bright pink jazz boots glittering everywhere.

‘Gosh Jasmine is annoying!' she announced. ‘Ugh! You should hear her out there. She's going on and on about the ballet eisteddfod and how she's the star, and then Tove is like, “Oh you should show everyone the dance, half of us haven't seen it,” and then Jasmine goes, “Oh I would, but I need Riley to do the duo and I don't really think she's up to it”.'

Ellie grabbed a handful of jelly snakes and waved them around. ‘I can't stand it!'

‘Don't talk with your mouth full,' said Ash. ‘I don't like
see
food.'

‘God, Riley, can you just go out there and dance the silly ballet dance to make her be quiet?' Ellie paused and swallowed. ‘Anyway,
you chose the ballet eisteddfod, right? And got rid of the athletics stuff?'

‘Yeah,' I said.

‘Good,' said Ellie. ‘I thought so. Anyway, please go and do the routine. Even Miss Caroline wants to see it. Jasmine thinks you're going to fall on your face or something, but you'll show her up. And shut her up.'

‘I don't want to show off,' I said, although suddenly I really wanted to do the duo with Jasmine. I needed to.

‘Yes, you do,' teased Ash. ‘You always show off.'

‘Come on,' said Ellie, grabbing my hand. ‘Before Jasmine's head fills up the whole room.'

The girls in the jazz class were all grouped around Jasmine when we walked in. Miss Caroline was sorting through music over by the sound system.

‘Hello Riley,' she said. ‘I've been hearing all about this ballet performance you'll be doing
at the eisteddfod. I'm sorry I can't make it then. Jasmine suggested maybe you would like to do a mini performance at the end of class, just to show those of us who can't make it on Saturday to watch.'

I could feel Jasmine staring at me, her arms crossed, but I just smiled at her calmly.

‘That would be great, Miss Caroline,' I said. ‘I'd love to.'

‘Fantastic!' said Miss Caroline. ‘Let's start warm-up.'

Jasmine stared at me, then rolled her eyes and turned to Tove. I saw Tove sneak a funny little look at Ashley before she faced towards the front, kind of like she knew Jasmine was being a bit of a brat.

Whatever. For some reason Ashley doesn't mind Tove. I didn't get it, but you can be friends with whoever you want, I guess.

After warm-up, we continued learning this new jazz number for the mid-year performance.
Ellie was front and centre, and making the most of it. I was in the second row, next to Jasmine.

I was looking forward to our little performance at the end of class. If Jasmine thought I was going to turn into a nervous wreck just because I hadn't been 100 per cent the past few rehearsals, she was about to get burnt!