Breaking Stone: Bad Boy Romance Novel (19 page)

“After church this morning, Felicity Filbert was showing everyone a video on a gossip website of you with that man coming out of a hotel in Newport. He had his arm around you. I’ve never felt so humiliated, Katrina. This is breaking your father to pieces. We didn’t bring you up to behave like a slut. A home wrecker. What were you thinking? That poor Lily Clarke, crying on television, wanting her boyfriend back.”

She shouldn’t have brought Lily into this. I might have made mistakes, but there was no relationship going on with Lily when Stone and I got together. I wanted to tell her about the restraining order and the fact that Lily and Stone had broken up well before I’d ever come on the scene. But why bother? Mom would only hear what she wanted to hear and twist anything I gave her into new ammunition to take me down.

I placed the serving platter I was drying on the counter and dropped my dish towel on top. “I haven’t done anything wrong, but you don’t want to hear that, so I’ll be on my way. I won’t discuss this with you, because it’s none of your business. Thank you for lunch. I’ll say goodbye to Dad and Clarissa on my way out.”

“I’ve told FaithLit you won’t be involved with their work anymore.”

There was a triumphant note in her parting shot. I told myself I didn’t need them. CJM still owed me some money for my work with Stone. I’d get by and develop my own business without any outside help.

The rain started halfway through the cheerless bus ride home. I had no coat or umbrella and arrived back at the apartment wet, cold and miserable.

B
y evening
, I’d taken Buster for a walk and consumed a lot of whiskey, ignoring my phone and staying away from the computer. What a fucking mess. Even Buster seemed lost, and when he jumped on the couch and lay beside me, his head thumping into my lap with a big sigh, I noticed he had one of Katrina’s socks in his mouth. He must have stolen and stashed it at some stage last week.

It made me wish I’d stolen and stashed Katrina, hidden her away, and disappeared with her off-grid.

I’d fucked up her life in the same way I’d almost done to Lily. Except, I’d never been in love with Lily. I knew that now. I wasn’t used to these relationships, and it was best that I’d ended it with Katrina rather than have her fall for me and pull a stunt like Lily’s.

They say you should never believe your own press, but maybe, in my case, it was true. Maybe all I’d ever be was the bad boy, the heart-breaker who sleeps with everything that moves. The good-time guy, not the long-time guy. Finishing the book was impossible. I couldn’t write a story about what was broken inside me while everyone wrote rave reviews.

I flicked through the images on my phone, showing Buster the selfies I took with Katrina during the weekend. He licked the screen. I wanted to do that, too.

“This is the suite we stayed in, Buster. Out that window were acres of ground. You’d have loved it there.” I scrolled through a few more photos and stopped on my favorite one, staring at the phone.

“I can’t show you this one, Buster. You’re too young. Katrina was really mad at me when I took it because she’d just stepped out of the shower and I hid the towels. She wanted to cover her body, but fuck me, pup, she has the sexiest body I’ve ever seen. I don’t think she believed me when I told her, but it’s the truth.”

Buster’s tail flopped a couple of times against the cushion.

“Here’s Katrina on the platform, waiting for the train home. She doesn’t know I took this one. See how sad she looks? I did that to her because I’m a total prick. I’m not good at love, Buster, but I like you a hell of a lot, and I promise I’ll be here for you, even if I can’t be there for Katrina.”

Buster closed his eyes, as if my declaration that his future with me was safe was all he’d needed to hear.

* * *

T
he following morning
, there was some asshole from the press at the back of the house when I took Buster to the river for his walk. I marched past him and called him a fucking leech, which probably wasn’t the brightest thing to have come from my mouth, and headed along the bank to throw sticks for the dog.

The reporter didn’t follow, although later that day, I discovered he’d taken a bunch of photographs.

I checked my social media, which had typically blown apart because someone suggested Lily and I were getting married, which had immediately been countered by someone who’d taken a photo of Katrina and me in Newport. Then stuff turned crazy, and a couple of women I was sure I’d never met insisted they’d spent the weekend with me.

There were no updates from Katrina, so I guessed she wasn’t working for CJM any longer.

I sat back and rubbed my eyes. I’d never intended to ruin her career, and I made a note to call Sarah and explain that everything was my fault. Knowing Sarah, though, she’d still want somebody punished.

I chased down Rip. He was heading to Dyer Island in South Africa the following month to do some research, also known as swimming with great whites. He invited me along, and the thought of joining him and being anonymous for a few weeks was enticing, as was the lure of the great white.

He asked about Katrina, and I lied to him and said we were taking a break.

“I liked her. If you’re parting ways, send me her number.”

“Fuck off. You stay away from her,” I warned.

“If she’s free, Stone, you don’t get to say who she goes out with. Remember that.”

I ended the call, his words putting stuff into my head I didn’t want to think about. Why was it that I was happy to send Lily back to David, when the thought of Katrina with some other guy made me a fucking Neanderthal?

I printed out the picture of us and stuck it to my wall, then switched on the computer. I had an idea, and I had work to complete.

“
I
don’t care
how you fucked this up, Katrina, but I want you to get your ass back up to Logan’s house and extract the fucking book from him.”

Sarah wasn’t taking this at all well. It felt like an age since I’d last sat across the desk from her, the day I accepted the job to be Stone’s assistant. She looked even edgier today than she had then.

“That might be—” I was about to explain that it would be difficult for me to do that before Sarah cut me off.

“We don’t say ‘might’ in this office. Or ‘maybe’, or ‘perhaps’. We don’t use weasel words, Katrina. What I expect to hear is, ‘Yes, Sarah, I will do that immediately, and I won’t sleep, eat, or use the bathroom until I return to your office and hand you the manuscript.’ I’m not asking you for the impossible. Stone’s book is not some fucking mythical unicorn, Katrina. It does actually exist.”

I stared at her, my mouth opening and shutting like a goldfish as I revised the words I wanted to say to make sure no weasels popped their heads up. I had no idea how much of the book existed. All along, I’d been feeding Sarah the kind of reports she wanted to hear, confident that at the end of six weeks, I’d have the book, as Stone promised. He could well have had another burning session in the trash can along the river, for all I knew.

“Tell me the book exists.”

Her voice was low and dangerous, her gaze focused like a cobra. I couldn’t meet her eyes, so I stared just over her shoulder at the expensive lamp that overwhelmed a corner table. I wondered if the sickly beige lampshade was made from the exterminated hopes and dreams of previous employees.

“To an extent, yes, it exists.” If my mother were here, she’d be cheering Sarah on.

“Right. Bring me what he’s done so far, and I’ll get a ghost writer onto it.” Sarah picked up her phone. “I’ll let him know you’re on your way.”

I couldn’t even begin to imagine how Stone would feel about that idea, if he’d see me, or if he’d let me have what he’d written so far. For all I knew, he could have been sitting in the tower each day watching porn.

Three hours later, I was back in Springston. I’d been as nervous on this trip as I had been on my first, but I refused to let Stone’s demeanor, whatever it might be, put me off my job. He might not be the person I hoped he’d become in my future, but right now, I had this single chance to salvage something for myself back at CJM, even if it was nothing more than a satisfactory testimonial.

Springston had a bus service that looped to the town limits and the last point of interest for tourists before returning to the railway station. Thankfully, it ran on a schedule that linked with the trains, so I was able to catch that and get off at a stop within an easy walk of Stone’s house.

There were no vehicles in the driveway, but that didn’t necessarily mean he was out...or alone. I knocked on the door, listened for a bit, then tried the handle. The door opened.

It felt strange being here. No sign of Buster, who would surely have given me an enthusiastic greeting, and in that way a house told you it was empty, I sensed Stone wasn’t here, either. I called out anyway, and climbed halfway up the stairs, but the tower door was open. I didn’t feel as though I could enter. The gym was empty and the living room messy, as if Stone and Buster had been hanging out like a couple of teenagers whose parents were out of town.

I resisted the urge to clear away the well-licked Chinese takeaway containers that sat on the floor, and went through to the kitchen. None of the mugs or glasses had found their way to the dishwasher, and I had to stop myself again. I checked Buster’s water bowl, pleased to find it full. At least the pup was being properly cared for.

I wasn’t sure what to do. I couldn’t hang around in his house uninvited. I scoured the benchtop for a scrap of paper to leave him a note, discovering what appeared to be my list, crumpled beside a stack of books.

I flattened it out, not caring about being snoopy this time. He’d crossed most of the things off, including the encounter with an apex predator. I never had been sure whether that alluded to the shark or Stone himself. I wondered if he’d marked off the list when he’d arrived home, or at some stage over the weekend.

There was another note, this one addressed to me. He must have got Sarah’s call and ensured he wasn’t about when I turned up.

Poppins, I was angry and stupid on Sunday. You don’t have to worry about your job. I’ll finish the book. Come back on the due date and I’ll give it to you, but you have to swear not to read it. I guess Buster is yours—I bought him for you, but I think he has to live here until you’re living somewhere big enough to have him. Sorry.

I don’t know what the apology was for—Stone keeping Buster, Stone’s bad behavior and anger, or something else I’d yet to come across. As I tucked the note away in my pocket, I noticed a third scrap of paper.

Stone’s own wish list.

It was quite different to mine, old, well-handled, burred creases where it had been folded and unfolded many times. In places, it was impossible to read some of the things he’d crossed out, but I could make out ‘publish a book’ and ‘fuck a former Disney actress’ both crossed off as two of his life accomplishments. There was only one thing left undone on Stone’s list.

Fall in love.

My heart broke a little more when I read that. If this was his attempt at an explanation, it didn’t make me feel any better. In fact, I felt worse. I hurt for myself and the feelings I’d let run rampant for him, because they were honest and heartfelt. More, though, I hated the fact that he’d never fallen in love.

I replaced the list on the counter and left the house with his note in my pocket. I was expected by Sarah to stay in Springston until I had the book. My accommodation with Mason and June was paid up for the month, so I decided I’d use the time to explore the area.

I didn’t need Stone’s list of adrenalin-inducing adventures to make my life complete. That had been a wild couple of weeks I’d never forget. Now I could spend my time exploring upstate New York. The little cottage at the back of the Myers’ was quiet, the view pretty. I could work between excursions, setting up my website and networking online with other authors. Perhaps I’d find someone who needed help while I was doing that.

As I walked along the road, I noticed the apprehension and hurt I’d carried for the past few days ease a little. June was in the front yard weeding her pretty flower garden, and she greeted me like an old friend.

“I’m glad you’re back, Katrina. I gather that boy down the road is behaving badly. Again.”

“It’s nothing,” I said. “He has a lot to deal with, you know—Lily, his writing. I’m just going to hang out here for a bit, if that’s okay with you and Mason.”

“My husband will be as pleased to have you back as I am.”

“I met Rip,” I told her.

“I hope the boy was polite. He gets a little full of himself at times, but he has a good heart.”

“He was very kind.”

“He took you to meet his sharks, didn’t he?”

“Yes, he did.”

“The only thing that makes that boy happy is being out on the ocean. Although their friendship is close, sometimes I think Stone and Rip are bad for each other. Neither knows how to settle down.”

“I guess that’s normal, for a parent to want their son settled.”

“I’m waiting for grandchildren, Katrina. And there won’t be any coming our way so long as Rip’s spending his life underwater.”

I went around to the cottage, wondering what it would have been like to have been raised by a mother like June. No wonder Stone liked her so much.

The little cottage felt as though it had missed me. I adored it up here, the views, the peace, and the friendly people more relaxed than New York. And if I did miss the city, it was only a short train ride away. I curled up on the sofa with my laptop, and although the idea that my fantasy relationship with Stone becoming reality would have made all of this near perfect, I was determined to be content with how things were at the moment.

I opened my email, noting the bulging inbox, and quickly scanned for Stone’s name. A bubble of optimism continued to bounce about in my head, hoping that he would have a change of heart.

Not tonight.

The first email told me I was officially dropped from FaithLit and that they’d changed their passwords to their online accounts. Obviously, they foresaw a danger of me jumping onto their social media and posting dick pics.

I cleared through more mail, noting that meeting Stone had been a turning point in my life and I’d found a new road to travel. One where I could discover who I really was without the influence of my mother. It was okay, I realized, to have made an error of judgment with Stone because that had opened my eyes to new opportunities. I wasn’t even certain I wanted a permanent place at CJM because that wasn’t exactly the most pleasant work environment.

I became a regular down at the local coffee shop. I’d call in mid-morning, grab a latte, and have a chat with the regulars. Twice, I saw Stone drive past in his beaten up jeep with Buster, who seemed to have doubled in size, sitting like a prince in the passenger seat, being chauffeured around town. They never stopped, even though it was the place Stone had bought us coffee on our way to the airfield for our ballooning trip.

My heart soared and fell in on itself at the sight of him.

I visited local museums, farmers’ markets, and picked berries and fruit, most of which I gave to June. She, in turn, made fabulous pies and puddings. She asked me if I wanted to take a peach and raspberry cobbler up to Stone’s house for him, but I declined.

“I promised to stay away,” I explained.

“You forget that Stone doesn’t know what’s good for him and makes requests because he thinks they are the right thing for you.”

Her words made me feel uncomfortable. Was Stone hurting? I doubted it because he was accustomed to drive-by relationships, and I didn’t want to humiliate myself by turning up if I wasn’t wanted.

Sarah emailed and told me to stay on top of Stone’s social media. I had masses of photos on my phone, so I posted one each day, every reminder a voodoo pin to my heart.

As the weeks passed, I kept up a regular phone call to Mom. She battled with me and tried every tactic to put me off working for Stone, but I countered them, telling her she had no right to try to control my life. When she was at her worst, I ended the call. I’d reached a peculiar state of calm. Perhaps it was the magical ingredient June claimed was in the Springston water. Or maybe it was the fact I was finally taking control of my life. If I thought of something I wanted to do, I went right ahead and did it. I gave Mom reports about my excursions, and eventually, she learned to say, ‘how nice’, even if she still needed to work on adding a genuine note to her voice.

I gained two clients, authors who wrote in the same genre as Stone. They weren’t as crazy, though. In fact, they were completely professional and easy to work with. I had fun Skyping with them, working through strategies for promotion, and engaging with their readers. They paid quickly, too, and soon, I was in the unusual position of having spare cash after paying rent.

The only fly in the ointment was the fact that I’d still had no contact from Stone. I hoped after a week, he might have calmed down or needed to contact me. I missed our chats about his book, being the sounding board for the ideas he was throwing around and being teased.

More, I missed his kiss and curling up with him and Buster on the sofa while we ate popcorn and watched movies.

I missed making love with him. Oh, boy, I missed the sex.

But most of all, I missed him, because inside the bad boy was a good person who’d shown me how to step away from the expectations of others and be brave enough to take charge of my life.

Then, the day before the deadline, an email dropped into my inbox after dinner. Subject line:
Book 7.

Katrina,

Attached is Book 7. Our work is done. I figured I’d leave it to you to send to Sarah, seeing as you were hired to get the book out of me.

Good job. I don’t know what magic you weaved, but it worked!

You read the note where I asked you to swear not to read the manuscript. Since I got no argument from you, I believe you’ll keep your end of the bargain. I went ahead and finished the story. Remember, no reading. Send the attachment to Sarah.

Buster sends a lick, a tennis ball, and four muddy paws.

Thank you, Stone

The disappointment I felt shocked me. I saw that although I could put my hand on my heart and declare that I had stepped away from the storm in my life that was Stone and had gone out and done things on my own, those events were only fillers until the date I expected to return to Stone’s house and pick up the manuscript. I’d counted the days and ignored the real reason I had done that.

I’d been excited by the idea that I would see him again, talk to him, throw the ball for Buster, and maybe find some sort of friendship within my awkwardness.

Who was I kidding? I’d probably have followed him straight to the bedroom.

He’d cut me off at the pass, delivering the book by email, thus canceling any reason I might have had for turning up on his doorstep. Why had I ignored the fact that Stone had built his life on not getting involved with women, the king of the one-night stand?

All the hurt and anger rose in me. I double-clicked the file and hit the print icon, walking to the fridge and pouring myself a glass of wine as the printer whirred and the pages stacked up.

He could determine my silence with regard to the note however he wished, but my promise not to read his book was never implied. I gathered up the first block of paper while the printer continued to work and settled in with my wine and a deep curiosity as to who I would read about. Lily? A fictional character?

Lily was right there. First chapter, plain for everyone to see. I almost tossed the pages aside. It would do me no good to read about Steele and Faux-Lily getting their happily ever after. I knocked back my wine and pushed on through the second chapter.