Breaking Through (8 page)

I know I should listen. Everything inside and outside of me tells me the same thing. Yet, I shake my head in response and continue circling the twister around the ship.

Nate couldn’t control the water, but I
am
. It’s at my command.

“Do you see what you’re doing, Nautia?” Riley says, his voice rising to be heard over the wind now blowing hard enough to create waves that crash against the side of the
Triton
. “That thing is growing.”

He’s right. And I didn’t build it.

Panic boils under my skin, and my hands shake in front of me. “I can’t hold on,” I stammer. “I can’t control it.”

“Calm down, Nautia,” Riley says. “Pull yourself together first, then slowly dismantle the twister.”

I gulp in a lungful of air, but it doesn’t help. I’m weak. So weak.

My knees buckle, and I fall, my palms slamming onto the deck. Sirens wail from the command station—the tornado didn’t dissolve when I collapsed.

“TWISTER!” someone shouts.

Riley drops down beside me. I glance at him. His hair is wet, though I can’t feel the rain pelting against his cheeks. I can’t feel anything.

“I’m sorry,” I mouth. Then I pass out.

The water is at the halfway point now, and I’m freezing. Maybe the icy cold will knock me out before it finishes me off. If I’m lucky.

Since my realization that I designed this capsule, I’ve thought of nothing else. Why would I have done this? And for what purpose?

My teeth chatter, and I shiver. I close my eyes, because there’s no reason to keep them open. I can’t see a damn thing anyway, and with them shut, I can pretend I’m not two thousand feet under the surface of the ocean with no way to escape.

I try to not think about anything. Empty my mind as my body settles into hypothermia. Except my brain won’t let me envision nothingness. Nope, even inside my head there’s a vast sea of water. It ripples at first, like water is supposed to do, but then it starts to swirl. Spirals down, down, down, gaining speed and becoming larger and deeper.

The capsule jolts, and my eyes fly open. The metal creaks, stinging my ears. I cringe as the sound grows louder. Panic sets in, and I resort to kicking my legs again, trying to free myself.

My coffin jerks, and I’m thrown against the side. Pain shoots through my shoulder, but I don’t care because the impact somehow freed one of my ankles. As well as I can, I twist and use my untied foot to kick against the rope of other one. I have no idea what good it will do, though dying not tied up seems better than the alternative. At least I’ll be somewhat free.

I feel the second rope break off, and as soon as I do, something slams into the tube, jostling me to the opposite side.

I’m not sure why, because it’s still pitch-black inside my prison, but I peer up through where I think the little window is.

It’s cracked.

I know because I can see it.

Because there’s light coming through.

Since I learned
of Trainer Cara’s involvement in TorpMissionOne, I’ve had to work harder to keep it out of my thoughts when around Kray. If he found out, he’d immediately tell Nautia and I’d lose her trust. I need to get all of the puzzle pieces in place. All I have now is speculation, a bunch of blank files, and a handful of classified files I can’t access.

Melene had no more information than what he gave me. Still, his one answer only bred more questions. Had Nate been a part of TM1 under Cara’s command? If so, she knows what happened to him.

I back up because I’m jumping to conclusions. I start with the facts: Cara Prior lead TM1; TM1 happened two years ago, presumably in the same location as where we’re headed; Nate was stationed in the Sea of Japan two years ago. He could have been on a different mission, completely unrelated to TM1. And the chances of that are—

Slim.

To my knowledge, no other Navy ships were in the Sea of Japan two years ago. But mistakes happen, especially with all the damn red tape we have to cut through. Shit gets missed all the time.

I rub a hand over the stubble on my chin as I think. Depending on what happens with Nautia today, I might spend my evening doing research in the Navy’s archives. I just wish I could hack through the security. I told myself a long time ago I’d never use my power to do anything illegal, but right now, I’m kicking myself in the ass for not studying up on how to break into computer systems.

I pull my attention back to Nautia. At least she’s bubble free. Last time, she thought the water was protecting her, but now it’s gone. Does that mean it’s no longer protecting her? Unlike before when she slept peacefully, her muscles spasm now, and every once in a while, her face contorts into an expression I’m familiar with: fear.

It’s been twelve hours since the rogue twister, and I can probably count on her being unconscious for at least another day. I need to find out at what point she lost control last night. Something changed in her when she’d told me no.

Her fingers grip the sheets at her sides, and she kicks her feet—except, she’s not actually kicking. It’s strange, like she’s trying to move, but invisible ropes hold her ankles down.

“Nautia,” I say low, leaning over her. “Wake up, Nautia.”

Her head tosses from side to side, and suddenly I hear footfalls rushing over. Kray rounds the end of the bed. He grabs her head to stop her from thrashing.

“Nautia!” he yells.

“What’s happening?” I ask.

He doesn’t look at me when he answers. “She’s having a nightmare.”

“Can you hear it?”

“No. It’s behind her wall, but they’re getting more frequent.”

Her face contorts again before she lets out a window-shattering scream. She releases her grip on the sheet and pounds her fists into the mattress. Her whole body convulses, and from above me, small raindrops fall from a newly formed cloud. She’s losing control again.

White lips curve inward and her eyes move from side to side in quick, erratic motions behind her eyelids.

“Has she told you about them?” I ask, searching for some tool to break through to her.

Nautia’s body relaxes, the tension draining out of her.

Kray shakes his head. “She’s told no one. Not even Cara.”

Nautia rolls onto her side, and with one foot, kicks at the other.

“Does
she
remember them? Like, details?”

“They’re about Nate. Other than that, I don’t know what she remembers.”

“So how do we wake her up?”

Kray finally peers up at me. “We can’t.”

When Nautia finally settles down, lying still and silent, her eyes teeter back and forth behind her lids like normal. Kray stays for a bit, but gets up to leave when the dinner bell rings.

“She has to sleep through it,” he says.

“I’m going to stay,” I answer, forgetting to block my thoughts. Kray’s eyebrows raise, and I assume he heard me—the reasons for my staying with her. I wasn’t careful enough.

“Permission to speak freely, sir?” he asks, crossing his arms.

“Permission granted.”

He glances toward Nautia, then back to me. “She’s sensitive to emotion, you know. Not only anger, frustration, and fear, but joy and love as well. I’ve known her for two years, and I’ve seen it all. She’ll break, Riley, if you get too close in either direction.”

The fact he just called me “Riley” doesn’t escape me. Speaking freely, indeed. “Well,
you
seem to do an okay job with having a relationship with her.”

Kray huffs. “If I don’t piss her off, sure. But I don’t have romantic feelings for her. With my ability, it’s kind of hard to connect to someone on that level. Honestly, that’s why we’re friends.” He snickers. “Because we’re both emotionally unavailable.”

I feel my back straighten at his words, not liking the insinuation. “She’s in my charge. Her life, like all of yours, is in my hands,” I say, throwing out my captain card because this open talk time is over.

“Right,” he says. “It’s a good idea to keep it that way, sir.”

When I open my eyes,
I half expect to be inside a water bubble again. I’m not, and I wonder why. Then I see I’m not alone.

Riley is slouched in the chair beside me, legs sprawled out in front of him and his head slumped forward. He lets out a soft snore and shifts before he relaxes again. I stare at the way his eyelashes flutter. Thick, long lashes accentuate high cheek bones and dark eyebrows. I shift my gaze down his nose to slightly separated pink lips. Dark stubble pokes from his jaw, and I imagine what it would feel like to run my fingertips over it. To have him lean into my touch.

I grin at the thought that maybe he’d fallen asleep watching over me. It also crosses my mind that he didn’t do this with Britta when she’d had a concussion, and this is the second time he’s stayed with me. I’m pretty sure this isn’t part of his leadership contract.

Butterfly wings stir in my stomach, but quickly die out as I consider the possibility that he’s here to babysit me. To make sure I don’t attempt to kill the crew because my pride skyrocketed to the I-can-tame-tornados levels. How could I have been so stupid?

I glance toward the window on the other side of my bed. It’s nightfall though, so I have no clue how many days I was passed out for. I do know, however, I’m still on board the ship, which means the twister didn’t take her under after I hit the deck. Maybe after I blacked out the barometric pressure changed and the air could no longer support the funnel. I have no other explanation.

Obviously, I haven’t been released to go back to my bunk, but I don’t want to be here when Captain Barton wakes up either. Yeah, it’s “Captain Barton” again. Facing him after what I pulled isn’t something I’m looking forward to.

He took me out to help me learn control, and what did I do? Completely lost it…again. Third time’s a charm, right? If I were him, I’d take me back to Brighton immediately. With me on board, this mission is doomed. Hell, at this rate, we won’t even make it to our station.

It’s confirmed: he’s definitely here to babysit me.

Raindrops hit my face, forcing me to look up. Sure enough, my mental pity party has created a small cloud above my head, and now it’s sprinkling. If I don’t pull myself together, this drizzle will only get heavier.

I sit up and raise my hand to dissolve the cloud. Nothing happens. That’s typical of this sort of thing. Clearly, it’s tied to my emotions and not to my willpower at the moment. My only hope is to control my thoughts, which in turn will change my emotions, and try again.

Beside me, Riley wipes a palm down his face. A water droplet hangs from one of his earlobes. His eyes flutter open, and I know I’m stuck. He’s seen me, so a conversation about my unmanageable tendencies isn’t far away. Rain splatters against his hair and runs down his forehead. He peers up to the ceiling and smirks.

Wait.
Smirks
?

“I guess that’s better than what was in my dream,” he says, then he shifts his hazel stare to me. “How do you feel?”

The theme song to
The Twilight Zone
plays in my mind. Riley’s playfulness makes no sense.

I point upward. “That not a big enough clue?”

He chuckles. “It’s a clue to something, but I have no idea what.”

“It means—” I pause, contemplating if I should tell him. “It means I’m not happy.”

Crap.

As soon as I say it, I avert my gaze to the scratchy blanket over me. I just opened myself up to him, and suddenly I feel naked. Admitting my feelings to Kray is one thing. Admitting them to Captain Barton is another.

He leans forward, his elbows on his knees. “Why aren’t you happy, Nautia?”

I heave a sigh. Focus my concentration at the wall in front of me instead of on him. “Because I messed up. Because every time I think I might have a handle on this thing, something happens that makes it all go to shit. I’ve almost killed so many people all because…I don’t know.” I peek over at him, and then everything pours out. “I don’t know why I don’t remember stuff. I don’t know why I can’t control this anymore when apparently I used to. I don’t know why my brother is dead. And I don’t know why I keep having nightmares about his death as if I were actually there. It’s like I don’t even know who I am!”

I fight the sob burning in my throat. If I let it out, the drizzle might morph into a full-blown storm, and I’m already shaky. As it stands, I’m surprised it’s not thundering and lightning in here.

I brush my fingers through my hair to comb out the water. Riley’s gaze sweeps over the bare skin I leave behind as I pull it over one shoulder. When I face him, his eyes lock onto mine. A soft smile plays on his lips, and I can’t figure out what I said that would make him smile.

“What?” I say, shrugging a shoulder.

He points his index finger above my head. “Look up there.”

I do as he says. The cloud is gone.

“H-how?” I stutter. “It doesn’t work that way. I broke down. It should be freaking hailing in here.”

“Got me,” he answers, moving to sit at the edge of my bed. He’s close enough that I can smell the pine scent of his aftershave. “But maybe”—golden irises lift to meet mine—“letting your emotions out is what will break down that wall inside your head.”

The wall. Right. “And once it’s gone, then what?”

“You get your memories, your control back.”

“What? How do you know?
Do
you know?”

Riley brushes a lock of hair away from my face, but leaves his fingers against my cheek. Warmth flows onto my skin, and I know when he lets go, it’ll remain. “No. But what could it hurt to test my theory?”

“Everyone. Everything,” I whisper.

He shakes his head. “I won’t let that happen. I’ll keep you safe, Nautia.”

I bite my lip, loving his words, his promise of protection. But… “But am I safe from myself?”

After Riley walked me to my bunk, I stayed awake for the rest of the night, too scared to go back to sleep and relive another nightmare. Instead, I thought about Riley’s eyes and how his touch had sent electricity zipping under my skin. I was right; even now I can feel where his fingers had lingered on my face. To be honest, I didn’t want to leave the infirmary because that meant leaving him. He said I needed rest before tomorrow’s training and promised that for our private session tonight, all we’ll do is talk.

And talking with Riley? I don’t know how I feel about that.

With Kray, it’s stupid and pointless since he can read my thoughts anyway. Only the ones I keep behind the wall are hidden from him, and those don’t matter, because I can’t access them either.

But Riley is different. Good different, I think. Except he’s too close to the Navy, the people keeping secrets. How can I trust him? Sure, Kray read his mind, but even Kray says that’s not foolproof. Riley’s “superpower” is super-intelligence, after all.

On the flip side, though, I can’t deny what happened in the infirmary when I spilled my guts on Riley’s lap. The storm cloud should have gone nuts when I broke down, like it does with Kray and Cara. Instead, it dissipated. Just like that.

I’m still pondering this when Kray bursts through my door. I’ve been so cocooned within my thoughts I’d forgotten to turn the lock. Now I’ll have to pay.

“It’s four thirty in the morning, Kray,” I point out, nodding toward the alarm clock.

“Yeah, and we have to talk before we get our asses handed to us by your boyfriend at training today.”

“Whatever,” I say, waving my hand to dismiss his comment about Riley. “What do we
have
to discuss in the middle of the night?”

Kray plops down on the foot of my bed and lays his head in my lap. Gray eyes peer up at me, and I find myself wondering if the color somehow puts people into trances so he can more easily access their minds.

“Nope,” he answers my thought. “But that would be cool, seeing as how there are parts of yours I’d love to chip away at.”

I stop myself from rolling my eyes. “Repeat: what do you want?”

“We’ve been here for ten days, and you’ve spent half of them passed out with Captain Barton sitting by your bedside.”

“Half of ten is five, not four. Try again.”

“You’re a bitch,” he says, patting my cheek.

“So?” I ask, ignoring the name-calling and going back in time twelve seconds to refer to his first comment.

He follows me. “So…you don’t think that’s a conflict of interest?”

“What interest?”

“Your reason for being a part of this mission—figuring out what happened to Nate.”

“I’ve thought a lot about that actually, Mr. Mind Reader. You know the saying ‘Keep your friends close and your enemies closer,’ right?”

Kray laughs. Wipes a fake tear from his face. “Oh that’s hilarious, Nautia. You and Riley Barton absolutely fall into the enemy category. What the hell was I thinking?” He cracks up again, but I’m not amused. When he’s finished, he adds, “I’ve been in both of your heads, you know.”

I groan, knowing I have to come clean. I was a complete idiot for even flirting with the idea that I could hide from Kray my attraction to Riley. “I trust him, okay? I think he might be able to help.”

“You trust a
Navy
captain?” Kray repeats, scratching his head. “Navy, Nautia.”

“You said it yourself, Kray. He doesn’t know anything. He’s just as in the dark as you and I.”

Kray sits up and twists to face me. “Do you know what his special ability is, Nautia? Has he told you?”

“As a matter of fact, yes he did,” I say more smugly than necessary.

“Someone with that level of intelligence could easily block me out. Even insert fake thoughts to throw me off. That’s possible, you know.”

I throw my arms out to the sides. “Dude! You’re paranoid.”

“I’m cautious. Something you’re
not
right now.” Damn. He’s serious.

“I know what I’m doing,” I insist.

“Yeah? How?”

“What do you mean ‘how’?”

“How do you
know
, Nautia? A gut feeling?”

I cross my arms and give him a stare-down. “Sort of.”

Kray focuses on me. In less than a minute he’ll have what he’s searching for. As soon as he finds it, he nods. “You think the water is protecting you. That
it
trusts Barton.”

I give in. “I have no other explanation for what’s happened, Kray. The way the bubble behaved before it accepted Barton, and then after? And last night with the storm cloud … I don’t know what else to think.”

Kray lies silent for a few moments, peering up at me. “Have you considered that maybe the water is acting because of how
you
feel, instead of the other way around?”

“Like it trusts because I trust? Feeding off my emotions?”

“Something like that, yeah.”

I lean back against the wall. “It’s possible, I guess, but why now? Why not two years ago? Look, either way, we need someone on the inside if we’re going to be able to crack into Navy security. Neither of us are computer geeks. We don’t know what we’re doing, and Riley could be useful.”

“Or not useful and kill us,” he mumbles.

“You’ve been watching too many conspiracy movies.”

“And you’ve been watching too many Reese Witherspoon romance movies, so that makes us even.”

“Uh, that’s so not even. Besides, Barton’s trying to help me control my abilities,” I say, yanking us back on track before he starts quoting
Sweet Home Alabama
like he did the last time he brought up Reese. And his female impersonations? Suck. “I’ve done stuff with him I never thought possible.”

Kray’s brows shoot up. “We’re going
there
?”

“OMG, Kray. Don’t even.”

He bypasses the sexual reference, thank God. “Give yourself some credit. That
stuff
you’re doing with him is still you, Nautia. Not Riley. You’re amazing…at least as long as you’re in control. When you lost it last night, Gibson had to save our asses.”

“Gibson?” I ask, confused. “What did he do?”

Kray grins. “Levitated it. It was crazy wicked.”

“He levitated a waterspout?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Wow. That’s impressive.”

“Yeah. You should thank him.”

“I will.” I sit back up and sigh. “Can you at least give Barton a shot? I’ll be careful about what I share, I promise. He’ll get information only on a NTK basis, and you have my permission to keep reading his mind.”