Breathe (22 page)

Harley?

He waited. The next move had to be Jay"s.

The kiss Jay offered was soft and slow, and Lincoln heard what the other man

didn"t say.

If they weren"t careful, they were going to back themselves into a corner where

the only way out would wound them both. Jay didn"t deserve more pain.

Not from Lincoln.

He should pull away, walk out, and never look back. It"d be best. For both of

them. If only the kiss weren"t so good, so full of the passion Lincoln had been

missing for the last year. If only he didn"t like Jay so goddamn much.

Jay"s next words melted all Lincoln"s resolve. The husky whisper had his

desire flaming to life. Or maybe it was Jay"s request.

“I want you to fuck me.”

Lincoln sucked in an uneven breath, pressed his forehead against Jay"s

temple, and said, “Not here. Not in the goddamn garage.”

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Chapter Sixteen

The Jeep sputtered and jerked forward. Lincoln put a hand on the dashboard

to keep from jostling into it. The silence continued between them. Neither he nor

Jay had spoken since they"d left Nancy"s house.

They had rushed through a cleanup of the garage and made sandwiches they

ate standing at the kitchen counter. Nancy and the kids would be home in less than

a half hour. Their only option: Jay"s house. Without discussing where they were

going, or why, they"d climbed into Jay"s Jeep.

Lincoln couldn"t stand the silence any longer. “You need a new car.”

Jay laughed. “I need a lot of things.”

What did that mean? Sex? Booze? Love? Why hadn"t the man bought himself a

new vehicle? He certainly had the money. Too bad there were questions Lincoln

could never ask. How did that saying go…curiosity killed the cat?

Five minutes later, they pulled into Jay"s driveway, and Jay stopped the Jeep

in front of the ranch-style house. Lincoln had been there once before, but he"d been

so pissed at finding out someone had stolen Jessica"s inhalers he hadn"t taken note

of the place. The neighborhood wasn"t the worst in Edgefield, but it wasn"t

anywhere close to the respectable, middle-class part of town where Jay"s parents

lived. There was no denying Jay"s house was the cheapest of the block. That could"ve

been the lack of upkeep alone: the chipping paint, the loose shutters covering the

windows, the overgrown bushes with branches poking out on all sides, like the

tentacles of a beast from a science fiction movie. Would the long vines attack

Lincoln when he tried to enter Katie Miller"s home again?

Jay climbed out of the Jeep, and Lincoln followed. They walked to the front of

the vehicle and stopped three feet apart. Lincoln had the urge to grip Jay"s hand in

his and haul the man toward the house. Not the best move. He stuffed his hands

into the pockets of his jeans and waited.

This had to be Jay"s choice.

Jay looked toward the house for a moment. His gaze finally swung back to

Lincoln, and the smile that hit his lips was nervous, but real. He wasn"t the type to

play games, or to lie. He wanted this. He wanted Lincoln.

“Come on,” Jay said with a tilt of his head toward the house. He didn"t look at

Lincoln as he slid the key into the lock and stepped inside. Lincoln followed him in

and froze.

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Had it looked like this the last time? Take-out food containers everywhere.

Clothes strewn about. Empty bottles of beer lying on their sides on the coffee table.

“Your house is a disaster.”

“At least I don"t live with my sister.” That smile was less nervous, more

genuine, more like Jay.

Lincoln laughed and closed the door behind him. “You got me there.”

Jay wandered through the house and stood in the middle of the living room as

if examining it for the first time. “We were barely out of high school. Couldn"t afford

much, so we went for a fixer-upper.”

That didn"t really explain it all. Unless fixer-upper meant
I don’t give a shit

and no longer bother to clean my house.

“You sure you want to do this?” Lincoln had to ask. Had to hear the words

again.

Jay spun around. “Yes!” His eyes wide, his mouth open, he nodded and licked

his lips. “I want you here.”

Lincoln let it go and joined Jay in the living room. Jay was a grown man. It

was up to him to speak up if they were taking things too far. Besides, Lincoln

wasn"t leaving unless Jay physically tossed him out. Sex was something they

needed. It could be that simple, couldn"t it? It had to be. No matter what else they

wanted, no matter what else he"d been crazy enough to feel back in the garage,

there couldn"t be—shouldn"t be—anything more between them. They both knew it.

Didn"t mean they couldn"t enjoy the sex. They were damn good at that part.

The interior of the house would"ve been nice had Jay cleaned up, dusted,

swept, or even taken out the trash. The furniture looked secondhand, but it worked

with the curtains and the shelves stocked full of books to give the place a

comfortable charm. Lincoln pointed to the wall of bookshelves. “You read a lot,

huh?”

“Used to. Before. When I was in school.” The reply came out choppy, jittery.

Best to relax Jay before he shook apart.

Lincoln reached for his hand. “Which way?”

“Last room down the hall,” Jay whispered. Maybe he thought no one would

ever know he was about to get it up the ass if he didn"t speak any louder.

What would his family say if they found out? Would they be okay knowing Jay

was with another man? Maybe until they found out which man.

They moved toward the room, Jay"s hand in his. He didn"t tug or force; he let

Jay set the pace. The door to the last room was open.

A double bed. Two dressers. Two nightstands. Everything set up for two

people—for a couple. The room was cheerful in a way the living room wasn"t. Less

cluttered, less unkempt. Filled with signs of a thoughtful touch. An arrangement of

candles lined the shelf on one wall. Matching sheets and a bed skirt outlined the

bed. A collection of photo frames sat on a table under the window.

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Either back out now or get things started. Lincoln couldn"t think about where

he was for another second, couldn"t let her into the moment, or it would all be over.

He didn"t want it over, didn"t want to leave Jay. Not yet.

He shed his coat, strode to Jay, and buried his face in the man"s neck. “You

smell good.”

“I smell like the bike and your garage.” Jay held him close and shivered. “I"m,

uh, kinda nervous.”

He rubbed Jay"s back and tried to remember his first time, tried to remember

what had sucked about it, so he could avoid that for Jay. “Wanna shower first?”

“Together?”

“Yeah, together.”

“Oh. Okay. Just…give me a sec.” Jay stepped away and pointed toward the

bedroom door. “The bath"s across the hall.”

Lincoln stopped at the door to tell Jay to take his time. No matter how much

Jay wanted this, it couldn"t be easy. Jay was staring at the picture frames on the

table. Lincoln didn"t want to see whose face filled the frames. He left the room. He

should"ve left the house, but his dick was leading the show, and it wasn"t going

anywhere. Except, it was more than his cock, more than his body that desired Jay.

Better not to think about that. He had to keep what they were doing in the

realm of fuck buddies.

Could they be buddies? Friends?

Probably too late to avoid that—too late to avoid so many things.

The tension eased when he got to the bathroom door. There was no door

handle. A screwdriver was wedged in the hole where the knob should have been.

Lincoln used it to open the door. He laughed as he stripped off his clothes and

turned on the shower. The top of the shower curtain drooped in the middle and

eight broken plastic rings were still looped around the curtain rod. He tried not to

laugh again. Easy to do when he thought about the reasons Jay probably lived the

way he did.

Steam filled the bathroom by the time he heard Jay enter. The rustle of sliding

clothes had Lincoln"s dick firming. For once, he wished his cock didn"t look long and

thick when he was hard. He wasn"t freakishly big, but the sight of him would make

anyone nervous about getting fucked for the first time. He wanted Jay to enjoy it.

Hell, who was he kidding? He hoped Jay would crave it—crave him.

Jay slid the shower curtain aside and stepped in. The sight of his naked body

wiped away all Lincoln"s concerns. Jay was as ready as he.

Lincoln moved closer and ran both palms over the front of Jay"s chest, and Jay

pushed into the touch. So sensual. So damn sexy. Lincoln grabbed a bar of soap and

worked lather between his hands. He washed Jay"s arms and back, easing tension

out of every muscle, moving his hands lower and lower, loving Jay"s firm grip on his

shoulders.

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Jay rocked into the contact of Lincoln"s fingers up and down the space between

his ass cheeks. Lincoln had to force his hands away before he lost control and gave

in to the primal desire thundering through his veins. He lathered extra soap

between his palms, turned Jay around, and pressed in close, cock to ass. Jay

jumped.

“Relax.” Lincoln licked and nipped at the flesh of Jay"s neck, and Jay"s muscles

loosened under his hands. “Not going to fuck you standing up. Not the first time.”

He reached around Jay and washed chest, abs, groin, and let his fingers linger at

the firm nipples. He cupped and caressed Jay"s balls and the skin behind them. By

the time he had washed Jay all over, they were both breathing heavily, their cocks

red and swollen, Lincoln"s dick sensitive to every touch of Jay"s body brushing

against it. They rinsed, dried off, and made their way to the bedroom, kissing and

touching as they went. The urgency evident. Need driving them on.

It all ended when they stood side by side before the bed, both staring at it.

Jay had to make the first move. It had to be his decision to go forward. With

each breath that blew out of Lincoln"s chest, the anxiety built. Was he asking too

much? Were they taking this too far?

Without saying a word, Jay crawled onto the bed, his ass in the air. When he

flipped onto his back, his cock was still hard and moist at the tip.

The tension flew out the window along with all his unease. Jay wanted him.

No more evidence needed. No need to change the scenery. No grief or guilt to get in

the way. Not then. Lincoln lowered himself to Jay, and Jay raised his hips, bringing

their bodies together. So eager.

Too eager?

They had to take this slow. Lincoln looked down at Jay. “Have you had anal

sex? I mean, did you and…did you do…toys? Fingers? Anything?”

“I haven"t—No, nothing.”

“Oh.” Lincoln sucked in a sharp breath. He was going to go slow, make this

good for Jay. “I"ll take it easy, use a lot of lube, but it"ll still hurt some.” He ran a

hand over Jay"s chest. “But it isn"t completely unpleasant.” He toyed with one

nipple, then the other.

Jay arched and said, “I trust you.”

Lincoln stilled his hand and looked away, staring at the bed beside Jay. “Are

you sure?”

Jay cupped Lincoln"s face in his hand. “I want this.”

They held the stare until Lincoln finally nodded. “I"ll go slow. It"s going to burn

some.”

“It"s okay. I want to feel it. Want to know.” Jay bucked up, demonstrating his

impatience without restraint. So damn sexy.

“I remember,” Lincoln said. “First time you bottom, you kinda want to get it

over with fast. To know. To see if you like it.”

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“No.” Jay met his stare. He stroked Lincoln"s cheek with his thumb. “Want to

know how you feel.” He entwined his right hand with Lincoln"s, their fingers clasped

together. “Don"t want this over fast. Want to feel all of you.”

Did he mean that? Lincoln lowered his eyelids and tried to remember how to

breathe.

Jay ran the thumb of his free hand over Lincoln"s cheek again. What was that

look on his face? Nervousness? Desire? Fear? Jay wasn"t about to ask. He wanted—

needed—Lincoln to be with him. He wasn"t going to let anything derail that. “Do

you still have that handy tube of lube in your jacket?”

A surge of air huffed out of Lincoln as he laughed. He rolled off Jay and

rummaged in his jacket pocket. He threw the lube and rubbers on the nightstand. A

strip of condoms. Five of them.

“Uh, I was kidding about getting it up that many times.”

Lincoln laughed again as he lay down. “I"m not getting out of this bed until

morning.” He flattened the length of his body against Jay.

“Sounds good.” Jay spread his legs and gripped Lincoln"s hips with his thighs.