Breathe Again (29 page)

“You are welcome to the guest room down the hall. Third door on the left. There is a bathroom attached.” He turned and headed towards the living room without another look.

Grabbing Max’s hand, we walked down the hall and opened the door to find a large bedroom with a king-sized bed, a dresser, and an antique freestanding mirror in the far corner. The familiarity of this room hit me hard.

“What the hell?” I said in disbelief. My eyes scanned every inch of the room. This was my exact room from the apartment I had left three months ago. My bed, my dresser, my mirror, my candles, and my artwork filled the space. I was swamped by déjà vu.

I sat Max on the bed and ran my hand along the red satin comforter as I took in my favorite Andy Warhol painting Tate had bought me in New York. Max wriggled on the bed, getting comfortable on the pillows, his tired eyes almost winning the battle of staying awake.

“Come on, little man. We have to get you in the bath and into your Thomas PJs,” I said softly. Max nodded silently and wrapped his arms around my neck and kissed me gently.

It was moments like this, in the craziness of my life, that I loved the most. A simple kiss from Max, a cute drawing that he would demand I put on the fridge, or the silent snuggle in the early hours of the morning was what I craved the most.

Max chatted the entire time he was in the bath; bathing was his favorite time. Bathing or going to the beach. During our time in Australia, he would spend every afternoon in the waves of Bondi Beach with Mr. Davenport. It was their boy’s only time and I knew Mr. Davenport was making sure he remembered for when we got back to the States.

Once his skin looked wrinkly like an old man, I pulled him out and dressed him in his favorite Thomas PJs and chased him down the hall as he burst into the living room.

“Mr. Max! I love your PJs!” Jack’s voice boomed from the couch.

Max scrambled onto Jack’s lap and leaned back against his chest, focusing on the television with heavy eyes. Tate glanced at me from the couch before turning back to the television without another look.

“Pizza! I have pizza!” Tanzi announced excitedly as she burst through the front door. I still hadn’t had a good chance to have any one-on-one time with her. I couldn’t wait for best friend time.

Max’s head lifted from Jack’s chest at the sound of pizza. He truly was my son. His love of pizza had developed from a young age.

“’Rooms and pineapple?” Max’s tiny voice asked.

“You’ve got our son eating mushrooms?” Tate asked softly at memories of my obsession with mushrooms during my pregnancy.

“Mummy, ‘rooms!” Max demanded, scrunching his face up and pouting. I burst out into a fit of laughter and was soon joined by Tate, Tanzi, and Jack. Max’s eyes bounced among the four of us before his giggle filled the air. “Mummy, why are we laughing?”

“You are too much, Max Connors,” Tanzi said between giggles.

“Aunty Tanzi, I love you,” Max swooned and crawled from Jack’s lap into Tanzi’s awaiting arms.

Tanzi looked at me with a completely look of love swallowing her blue eyes. “Thank you,” she mouthed to me before wrapping Max in her arms and kissing his face as he giggled in her arms.

We were home.

Tate

T
HE NIGHT
was filled with giggles, catching up, and my sitting in silence while observing Max talk to Jack and Tanzi and cuddle up to Sav. It was so surreal. The exhaustion from the day and the excitement of the engagement party filled the room as yawns amongst us became more apparent. Max’s little eyes kept drooping, and when Sav announced that she was taking him to bed, I knew I had to show her.

I stood from the couch and Max’s eyes immediately shot open and found me. “Max, do you want to see a surprise?” I asked softly. He eagerly nodded his head and held his arms up to me. “Can you come with us?” I directed at Sav. She rose from her seat, shooting Tanzi a worried look before following me down the long hall in silence.

I stopped in front of the closed door and took a deep breath to settle my nerves. Shooting Sav a quick look, I opened the door, switched on the light, and walked into the blue room I had spent so many days in over the past month. My eyes fell shut at the sound of Savannah’s deep gasp ringing behind me. I took a chance and finally turned to look at her. Her eyes filled with tears as her head swung around every inch of the room taking everything in around her. This had been my sanctuary while they had been away. The times where I’d needed my solitude I’d spent in this room, creating the perfect escape for Max.

The walls were painted a sky blue, the far wall displaying a mural of the beach and the other wall showed hand-painted pictures of the trains from Thomas the Tank Engine. A low bed ran along the center of the room and the door leading to the balcony allowed for his beloved waves to be heard in the silence of his room.

“What do you think, little man? This is your special room.”

Max was out of my arms and running around every corner of his room, excitedly talking to the Thomas mural that was painted on his wall. Seeing him happy and clearly overjoyed made everything worth it.

I watched as Savannah moved around the room gracefully, her fingertips running along the bed and the walls. She stopped by the dresser and her hands found the picture frame that contained a photo of the three of us on Max’s second birthday.

“This is one of my favorite photos,” she whispered as she stared at the photo in her hand.

“Mine too.”

“This room is amazing.” She placed the photo frame back on the dresser and turned to look at me. “Thanks for bring all the furniture from the apartment. It was crazy walking in and seeing our exact room from the apartment.”

“It’s not a problem.”

Sav opened her mouth to speak but Max’s voice interrupted. “Mummy! Daddy! I love!” Max’s excited shrieks filled the tense space and he held up his arms to be lifted up. Propping him on my hip he kissed my cheek and hugged me tightly.

“I love you so much, little man.”

Max pulled his face away from my chest and beamed at me.

“More than ice cream?” he asked.

“Yep.”

“More than lollies?”

I looked at Sav with questioning eyes. What the hell were lollies?

“Candy,” Sav replied quickly through her tears.

“Yep! Way more than lollies.”

“More than Thomas?”

“Yep. More than Thomas, Gordy, and Percy.”

“Daddy!” he shrieked before laughing. “You are so funny.”

And in that exact moment, everything seemed perfect.

T
HE FOLLOWING
day, as I sat at the dining table with my laptop open in front of me, my mind drifted to only hours earlier. Seeing Savannah waltz around the house in her tiny shorts and bikini top after she and Max had gone to the beach resulted in me and my hand becoming well acquainted. Seriously, she would be the fucking death of me. I knew what I wanted, my cock knew what I wanted, but my stubborn ass was still waiting for the bubble to burst. I was slowly but surely ready to come undone.

“Tate, can I talk to you for a minute?” Her thick Australian accent filled the silent space around me.

Looking up from my laptop, I saw Savannah, who stood nervously by the kitchen counter wearing a knee-length grey skirt and a white button-up blouse with come-fuck-me red heels.

“Sure,” I stated, swallowing hard, diverting my eyes from her tan legs and tight ass back to her face.

“I’ve got to go to Beautify for a meeting with Mr. Davenport and Max is napping so I was wondering if I could leave him here with you until I get back. I shouldn’t be any longer than an hour or so. I am happy to take him if there are any problems.”

Closing my laptop, I folded my hands on the table in front of me. “I’m his dad. You don’t have to ask me these things.”

Nodding, she looked at the floorboards below and then back towards the hall. She almost looked fearful. What could she possibly be afraid of?

Sighing, I stood from the dining room table and crossed the living room towards her. I stood before her and waited. “What’s wrong?”

“Tell me what you are thinking because I getting sick of you shying away from me. You look at me like you want me but then you talk to me like you despise me. I feel like we are complete strangers.” She let out a deep breath and stared at me in anticipation.

Rubbing the back of my neck, I stared at her, trying to find out what I could possibly say. “Sav, we are far from strangers. You know more about me than anyone in this world and that will always be the case. I am desperately trying to get my head around the thought of you and Max being back. It was three long, torturous months where I was here on my own while you and my son were on the other side of the world. A lot changed when you decided to leave, Sav. The only thing I know for sure is that I am going to get to know my son.”

“But that wasn’t entirely my fault, Tate. You can’t lay blame entirely on me.” Her voice broke under her words.

“I will tell you this one thing, Sav. I love you so fucking much that it hurts. You make me weak but in the next breath you make me stronger than I’ve ever felt. You make me feel a love I’ve never thought possible but then I feel a hurt I would never wish on anyone. I want nothing more than to drag you to my bedroom and do things to your body that you could never imagine but I feel like I need to get to know you again. I need to make sure that I am what you want.”

“What more can I do, Tate? I came back for you. You are the reason I am here.” She took a step toward me, grabbing my hands and pulling me towards her body. “I came back for you, Tate.”

Her lips dropped to the corner of my mouth, kissing me tenderly, and instantly my eyes closed under her touch. Suddenly, she pulled away and took a step towards the door before turning back to me with a look of determination sweeping across her face.

“I’ll tell you what I know, Tate. I want you and I will not let you go without a fight, and that’s one thing I can guarantee. I came back for you, I came back for what we are, and I came back for the future I know both of us crave. I am not stopping until I get that. Call me stubborn. Call me determined. Call me persistent.”

Standing across the room from her, I knew that I was quickly getting caught up in the intense waves of Savannah Rae, and I knew that once I got lost in the swell there was no turning back. Without another word, she stepped out of the door and I released the breath I had locked up tight in my lungs.

My body and mind were in a constant war with each other, telling me to do what the other told me not to do. I didn’t know how long I could keep myself from throwing myself at her, and the thought of burying myself so deep inside her had made my lonely nights come to life. But then my mind would kick in and warn me against diving back in, warning me to take it slow and make sure she was here to stay, encouraging me to test her and play this dangerous game of cat and mouse.

Savannah

P
ULLING OPEN
the sliding door with nervous hands, I stepped out onto the balcony and into the cooling ocean breeze of Santa Monica. The soft hum of voices and roar of the nearby ocean greeted me, and I found Tanzi, Jack, and Tate sitting around a round table, open beers in front of them, talking softly amongst themselves.

Tanzi was first to see me, and before I could say a word, she rushed towards me and pulled me by both hands towards the table. There was no turning back now. Tate glanced up over his beer bottle without a word, but I noticed the emotion flickering over his face. Our eyes met for a brief moment before he broke the connection and shifted his gaze to the dark waves being illuminated by the full moon above us.

“Beer?” Jack suggested, holding a bottle out towards me, his eyes showing the glazed effects of one too many beers.

Grabbing it from his hand, I popped open the top and sighed as the cold amber liquid slid down my throat.

“Sav, can I ask you something? It’s kind of personal.” Jack asked abruptly with a cheeky grin filling his lips.
Oh crap.
If there was one thing I knew about Jack it’s that if he asks if he can ask you something, you can never know what to expect.