Breathe into Me (2 page)

“Do you play?”

I nodded. “Piano.”

“Really.” The news perked his interest. “What kind of music do you play?”

“Classical.” It had been a handful of years since my fingers had touched ivory but, despite my tension, I smiled at the memory. “I was really good at it, too.”

“Was? You don’t play anymore?”

The smile slipped from my lips, and I gave a jerky shake of my head. Eager to change the subject, I continued hastily, “You’re not from around here, are you?”

He shook his head. “I’m housesitting down here with Trent for the summer,” he said, and then held out his hand. “I’m Everett Ward.”

His hand was soft but thick and heavy; the touch made the butterflies in my stomach dance faster. “Lacey St. James.” I cleared my throat, trying to act like his proximity wasn’t getting to me. “What house are y’all watching?”

“It’s down by the ocean. Really big, too, there’s a guesthouse and boat storage behind the house.”

“Are y’all staying in the Pass? The Cove?” At his blank look, I added, “You know, Oyster Cove, or Bay St. Louis, or Pass Christian, or … ?”

Understanding entered his eyes as I named off the area’s coastal towns. “Oyster Cove. Trent is friends with the family. It’s a big white mansion off the coast highway.”

I blinked. “You talking about the Plymouth plantation house?” I asked.

“Didn’t know it was named.”

“Do you know y’all are housesitting for one of the richest families in the county?”

He shrugged, looking back to the dance floor. “Far as I can tell, they haven’t lived there for a while.”

I might not have originally been from this little corner of southern Mississippi, but I’d learned a thing or two over the last few years. I’d only ever seen the large white Antebellum house from the highway, nestled back on the massive property amid regal trees far older than me. I looked back out over the dance floor, a little amazed. “Nice place.”
An understatement
.

Everett shrugged again, but I saw a smile play at the corners of his mouth. For some reason, that made me warm up inside. I got the feeling he didn’t smile much, and the lopsided tilt of his lips made him even more handsome. A lock of dark hair fell across his forehead, and I had to resist the insane urge to push it back so I could see his face. He had on a black button-up, long-sleeved shirt with expensive-looking jeans. While he didn’t really look out of place in the bar, something still managed to set him apart.

“Unfortunately,” he continued, “they don’t have a piano or I’d ask you to come play.”

I’m sure you would
. Reality crashed in, and I flushed. Boys had been inviting me over for years now with similar lines, and some that weren’t as subtle. A bitter gall worked its way up my throat and I swallowed it back. Regardless of what my heart wanted to believe, experience told me I couldn’t trust him.

My mood soured by my own thoughts, I stood up. “I need to use the bathroom,” I mumbled. Not caring if he heard me, I stood up and back into the crowd. My view of him was immediately swallowed up and I gave a relieved sigh, ignoring my disappointment. The boy made me nervous, and I couldn’t quite explain why. Maybe it was because part of me wanted to trust him, which was a ridiculous idea. I didn’t know the boy at all, other than that he was a friend of Trent’s.

The bathroom was just inside the corridor leading to the back, but as I reached the end of the hallway an arm snapped into view, blocking my path. “Where’ve you been all my life, beautiful?”

I whirled to see Macon standing beside me. He was wearing slacks and a tight blue shirt that showed off his muscles. His golden hair was slicked back, and the grin he gave me had a decidedly wicked gleam. Suddenly jittery, I tried to hide my anxiety as he stepped close. If he’d seen me sitting with the other boy …

“You look good enough to eat tonight,” he murmured, running my ponytail through his fingers. I fought back a flinch, but he didn’t grab my hair like I thought he would. His hand slid down my shoulder and around my forearm. “Why don’t we go talk outside?”

“Macon, I gotta pee.” Sometimes being blunt disarmed him enough that I could get away, but the tactic didn’t work tonight.

“Come on, I need your help.”

Briefly, I thought about fighting myself free—I was in public, there wasn’t much he could do to me here—but ultimately decided against making a scene. In my experience, it was easier to just get things over with quickly and go back inside. When our path took us past the storage areas toward the back entrance, however, I started getting nervous again. There was no breaking his hold now; as we drew farther from the crowds, his grip on my arm tightened painfully.

It’s hard to dig in your heels when you’re wearing three-inch stilettos, but I tried anyway. I didn’t know what was going on, but I knew for sure I wasn’t going to like it.

Whistles and catcalls preceded us as we stepped outside into the Mississippi night. The back of the bar let out into a dark area that housed the bar’s Dumpsters and sat adjacent to the connecting hotel. A single light beside the rear door lit the scene enough for me to recognize three men standing nearby. Two of them were familiar, Macon’s friends, although I didn’t know their names. They were passing around a small glass pipe, but the third boy pocketed it when Macon closed the heavy door behind us.

“Damn man, she’s even hotter in person!”

Macon just laughed, a nasty sound in the darkness. “I only keep the very best.”

“I watched what you did to them other boys.” The shortest of the bunch stepped forward, his smile crooked from the chew wedged beneath his lower lip. I tried to pull away but Macon held me firm. “Been wantin’ to meet you ever since.”

“These are my good friends,” Macon murmured as I began to tremble. “Won’t you at least say hello?”

Panic welled up and I pried at his fingers on my arm, but he only dug in deeper. The pain only increased my feeling of helplessness as the short boy reached down and blatantly rubbed himself through his low-slung pants. His clothes seemed less a fashion statement and more a consequence of how thin he was, but his eyes gleamed eagerly in the dim light. “How’s she with givin’ head?” he asked.

“Pretty good, actually.” Macon jerked my arm down and, unbalanced, I stumbled to my knees with a cry. “Now, baby,” he all but crooned, “I’d hate for you to prove me wrong. What do you say we show them how good you really are?”

Sobbing, I tried to get up but was pushed back down by Macon. This time, he did grab my hair, holding me in place while the short guy fumbled with his pants. “She ain’t gonna bite me, is she?”

This isn’t happening, tell me this isn’t happening
. I moaned, panic-stricken, and grabbed at Macon’s wrist. He just jerked my head back, throwing me off balance again, as the other boy positioned himself in front of me. “God, I wanna come all over her ti—”

The door beside us burst open, and someone came stumbling out. Startled, everyone froze as the stranger staggered drunkenly to the wall and pulled down his zipper. There was the sizzling sound of urine splashing against the hotel stucco, and only then did he seem to notice us. “Hey,” he slurred, giving us a small wave. “Don’t mind me.”

“Get the
fuck
out of here,” Macon hollered, releasing my hair and pointing at the door.

I took the only chance I knew I’d get and stumbled across the uneven ground, half-crawling to the door. Barely managing to evade Macon’s grab for me again, I hurried inside the corridor, rushing as fast as I could for the safety of the bar. I heard him call out my name, and then the swell of music surrounded me.

The restrooms were at the back of the building, butting up against the hotel lobby, and I slipped inside and into one of the few empty stalls. My chest felt like it was about to explode and I sat down hard on the toilet seat. Staring at the metal door, I squeezed my eyes shut and covered my mouth to muffle my sobs.

How did it get this bad?
My life wasn’t roses, but nothing like this had ever happened to me. I’d known that Macon was trouble, but I never thought he’d go this far. As long as I gave him what he wanted, things were usually okay. He’d offered to let me live with him, an escape from my own wretched home life. I’d actually been seriously thinking of taking him up on it.

Was this what I had to look forward to, being whored out to all his friends?

The bathroom door banged open, and a couple girls spilled inside. “Oh my god, I want to have his babies!”

I recognized Ashley’s voice, but stayed quiet. Right now I didn’t want to deal with the girl; hell, I didn’t want to deal with my life. To keep from being discovered, I lifted my feet up onto the toilet bowl, hugging my knees to my chest.

“Oh yeah, he’s hot! I wanna dance with him next.”

I hadn’t seen Samantha come into the bar. She was another one of Ashley’s cronies, an older girl who liked to pick up younger guys. I wasn’t sure how old she was, but I would have guessed close to thirty. Either that, or smoking had aged her like it did my grandma.

“No, he’s just cute. I’m talking about Macon. Did you see him all hot and bothered just now?”

“I thought you were talking about the blond one.”

“Meh, he’s not my type. I sicced Lacey on him, but she’s fuck-all as a wingman. Bitch cockblocked me on the other guy.”

My throat closed at their words, and I had to fight not to make a sound. The noise of the club right outside the door allowed me some measure of anonymity, but I suddenly found it difficult to breathe.

“The blond one’s cute enough, but I wanted that other boy, the one who came with whatever-his-name-is I danced with.
Gawd
, he’s sexy!”

“Ooh, you totally gotta point him out.” Samantha giggled. “Why do you even pretend to be friends with her anyway? She’s so boring.”

“I know, right? Plus she’s a total skank.”

I couldn’t breathe. Hands flattened to the walls beside me, I dipped my head down between my knees, struggling to get air into my quaking lungs. My whole body trembled with humiliation, small breaths tearing from my mouth. They were quiet enough to be covered by the music in the bar, and I covered my mouth to hold them inside.

Ashley had been a constant in my life for nearly a year. I was her chauffer and party buddy, but we rarely had mingled outside the club scene. The last time she’d called needing my help, I’d come running, only to have her so-called emergency be that a boy wouldn’t go out with her unless she found someone for his father. Namely, me. She hadn’t spoken to me for nearly a month when I’d walked away from that “opportunity.”

Dry heaves wracked my body as the two girls left, giggling like loons, but I swallowed them back, taking quick short breaths. I had to get out of there. My life was nothing but a huge lie, one big hellhole that never ended. I was tired of perpetuating it, allowing it to control me and my decisions.

When I’d steadied myself, I pulled open the stall door and checked myself in the mirror. Wetting my fingers, I cleaned up the smudged mascara under my eyes, and then exited the bathroom. The cacophony around me added to the pounding in my head as I made a beeline for our table.

Everett was still sitting back in his chair, just taking in the surroundings, but when he saw my face he sat up straight. “What’s wrong?”

Everything is wrong, that’s the problem
.

“I have to go.”

“Did something happen?”

Telling him anything about my pathetic life would only make me feel worse. I grabbed my purse off the table, eager to get out of there as fast as possible, but a nagging suspicion made me pause and check my wallet. I cursed and, ignoring the dark-haired boy, stomped over to the bar across the room.

The place was packed and the bartender busy, but something must have shown in my face because she came up to me immediately. “Oh baby, I’m not gonna like this one, am I?”

I’d only seen Cherise in the bar, and really liked her. She had a way of getting straight to the point that I appreciated. You always knew where you stood with her, and she didn’t tolerate bullshit. “I think Ashley used my card to start her tab.”

Cherise gave a low whistle. “Hold on, let me check.”

The man beside me vacated his seat, and Everett slid over into his place. “Is everything all right?” he asked again.

I swallowed and shook my head, unable to meet his eyes. At that moment, I was barely holding myself together; I couldn’t bear to talk about it now. I wanted to ignore him and leave the bar, but he didn’t seem to get the hint. I was still reeling from everything that had happened in too short a time, and I couldn’t take much more tonight.

Cherise appeared a few seconds later and handed me a card. Sure enough, it was mine. “Goddammit,” I muttered, stuffing it blindly back into my purse. “How much was she up to?”

“Baby girl, you don’t want to know.”

I felt like crying. She must have seen it in my face because she leaned over the bar, waving a hand to grab my attention. “Look, this time it’s on the house. But try to keep your stuff safer, and tell your friend she’s cut off for the rest of the night.”

Considering it wasn’t even midnight yet, I knew Ashley wouldn’t like that news. And I didn’t fucking care. “She’s not my friend.”
Not anymore
. She’d once told me she did this kind of things to girls she pretended to be friends with, stealing their cards and starting up her own bar tabs. She’d sworn that I’d
never
fall into that category.

The joke was once again on me.

Everett was still there, silently watching my humiliation. I couldn’t take his staring anymore, and pushed away from the bar. “I’m not drunk enough for this shit,” I muttered darkly, my fingernails digging in the faux leather purse. Alcohol always made things easier, even if I regretted my decisions in the morning.

“Think a few shots will loosen your knees a bit?”

The vulgar statement made me freeze. Thick arms wrapped themselves around my shoulders, and Macon pressed his groin into my backside. My hands clenched around the strap of my purse, my whole body tensing with dread. Macon laid a kiss on the top of my head, and I flinched, the trembling beginning anew. Where once I’d found comfort in the beautiful man’s arms, now I couldn’t get his words out of my head.
What do you say we show them how good you really are
.