Breathe (The Destiny Series: Book 1) (21 page)

The flames of Dearra’s temper flashed higher at his attempt to dominate her. “We have no relationship! You are nothing to me! I would rather lay down with pigs than to ever wed you! You are vile and disgusting and not worth the mud on Darius’s boots!”

It happened so quickly that it was a blur. Jacob’s hand shot out and slapped Dearra so hard she spun in a half circle to the ground, the taste of blood in her mouth sending her into a rage. She was up in an instant, sword flashing in the sun, the golden ring around her eyes seeming to have doubled in size. She raised her sword and brought it around for a killing blow, but Jacob had fumbled his own blade into a defensive position just in time to save himself.

Finish it, Dearra! Kill him!

Brin’s words seemed to have the opposite effect of the ones that were intended. She paused, squeezing the hilt of her sword more tightly, as if by holding fast to Brin she could hold fast to herself and keep from flying into a million pieces. Her chest heaved as adrenaline coursed through her veins, and she was hyper aware of every movement, every sound. Regaining a small measure of control, Dearra took a step back without breaking contact between the two blades, and the golden flames in her eyes receded a bit. She twisted her sword deftly down and up in one quick motion, sending Jacob’s sword flying into the bushes. He stood panting, a look of half fear, and half anger on his face. She could still taste blood in her mouth as she spoke. “The next time you touch me, I will kill you.” It was unladylike, but in that moment she didn’t care, and she spat in his face before turning around and making her way quickly back to the keep.

Jacob watched her retreat, his lips curving into an ugly sneer. Slowly, he took a cloth from his pocket and wiped the bloody mess from his face. He looked at the blood-soaked rag for a moment and cast it to the ground. Then, reconsidering, he stooped to retrieve the gruesome memento and slipped it back inside his pocket. A twisted grin lit his face, as he, too, walked away.

You should have killed him, Dearra.

“You keep saying that. Is human life so unimportant to you? He is Maj. I cannot kill him so casually.”

You killed the lynx all those years ago. It was mad with sickness and you cut it down because it needed to be done. Jacob is like that sick animal. He is poisoned in his mind. It would be merciful to kill him.

“Merciful? As he wished to be merciful to Darius? No, I can’t do it, Brin. Not like that.”

You look terrible, Dearra. Your mouth is bloody and swollen, and it’s starting to bruise.

They entered the keep. Dearra was anxious to avoid being seen by certain eyes before she’d had a chance to clean herself up a bit.

Try Daniel’s room. He is sure to have fresh water and towels, and he always keeps medicinal salves there to treat battle injuries.

“Thanks, Brin. That’s a good idea.” Dearra kept her head down and skirted as many people as she could as she walked. She entered Daniel’s room, head still down, and called out to him. “Daniel, have you got any—” She looked up expecting to find her friend to see instead Darius and Daniel hunched over a stack of maps and papers, staring at her bruised and battered face.

Oh, wonderful! Thanks a lot, Brin!

Huh? Oh…did you not want to see Darius? I wish you would have said something, Dearra. How awkward.

I’m not polishing you for a week, Brin. You are a bad, bad sword!

Daniel, unaware of any conversation taking place in Dearra’s head, looked at her with mild concern.

Darius, however, had heard it in entirety. If Dearra hadn’t wanted to see him, there must be more to her injury than some simple accident.

“What happened?” Daniel asked.

“Well, you see I was—”

Jacob hit her,
Brin said for Darius’s benefit.

Daniel was confused. Dearra had abruptly stopped speaking. Darius’s face was contorted into an angry snarl, he had snatched his sword from the bench it rested on, and he stormed in Dearra’s direction. For a moment, Daniel thought the Breken had lost his mind and was going to attack Dearra, but then he watched Darius as he paused for a moment, touched a gentle finger to the bruise at Dearra’s mouth, and stalked from the room.

“Daniel! Stop him!” Dearra pleaded, knowing there was no way she would be able to hold Darius back in his present mood.

Daniel shrugged, but he followed the enraged Breken out of the door.

“What were you thinking, Brin?” Dearra yelled her frustration to the now empty room.

Who, me? I was only answering a direct question, Dearra. That’s just good manners.

Facing Jacob herself was one thing; she had confidence in her abilities. If she should lose…well, there were worse ways to die. But the thought of losing Darius nearly tore the heart from her chest, and she felt the panic rise up inside of her. “And what happens if Daniel can’t stop him? What if something happens to Darius? Or to Daniel? What then? Not that you would care! We humans mean nothing to you! What’s one or two more dead to you? Maybe I should have just let Jacob kill me! Then you wouldn’t have to be bothered with me anymore!”

Brin replied, his voice hushed,
Don’t say that, Dearra.
I
do
care about you. You are my friend. I just wanted Jacob to be punished for what he did to you, and Darius seemed as good a way as any. Please, Dearra, don’t be angry with me. Daniel has stopped him. They are coming back. Daniel told him that he doesn’t know what the problem is, but if Darius kills a Maj, Hugh’s not likely to let him live long enough to tell his side of the story. Darius is worried if that happens he won’t be here to watch over you at all.

See, Dearra, everything is going to be fine. Just breathe, okay?

“I’m your friend?” Dearra whispered.

You are the most vexing girl! That’s what you choose to focus on?

“I forgive you, Brin. And thank you. But, still, no polishing for a week.”

Daniel returned holding the still enraged Breken firmly by the arm. Darius shrugged Daniel’s less than gentle grip away as he neared Dearra and took her into his arms. Daniel shut the door against any curious eyes that might happen by.

“I’m fine, Darius, really. Just let it go,” Dearra pleaded.

“What was it?” Daniel asked. “One of the lads down at the practice field get in a lucky hit? You can’t be going off in a rage every time the girl gets a bump, boy.” Daniel laughed at what he perceived to be a gross overreaction on Darius’s part.

“Tell him, Dearra,” Darius demanded. “Tell him, or I will.”

“I ran into Jacob on the path today and…well…he seems to think I am to wed him. When I corrected the assumption, I might have been a… little less than tactful and…well—”

“He struck you?” Daniel said, sputtering. He reached for his sword. “Why did you let me stop you, boy? No matter. I’ll kill him myself! Hugh’s indulged that animal far too long.”

Dearra stepped in front of the angry Daniel and placed a hand on his arm. “Daniel, it was just a misunderstanding. He has walked away, and I am sure he regrets his actions. Let’s just leave well enough alone.” Dearra couldn’t help looking at her feet when uttering the lie. She knew Jacob regretted nothing.

“Out of respect for your wishes, Dearra, and because you are not badly hurt, I will do as you ask, but if he ever dares touch you again…”

“He already—” Darius growled, but then Dearra came back into his arms, snuggled closely to him, and looked up at him with those eyes, and he forgot what it was he was about to say.

Dearra,
Brin said, starting again to scold her for her use of feminine wiles.

Shut up, Brin,
she thought, and he did.

October gave way to November. The snow arrived, and with it, a cold wind blew. The people of Maj did most of their work inside at this time of year. Only the children cared to brave the elements daily, bundled up as much as much as possible against the sometimes frigid temperatures.

When Darius wasn’t alone with Dearra he was with Dearra and Daniel together. The incident with Jacob had cemented the men’s friendship, and between the two of them, they made sure Dearra was never alone. If she tried to slip off by herself, she soon found Royce trailing behind her, or Carly would arrive just in time to accompany her wherever she happened to be going. It wasn’t very subtle, but no amount of complaining would make even the slightest difference in their tactics. She grumbled a bit to herself about her lack of privacy, but even Brin would not support her, and she gave up after a time.

The Great Hall doubled as a practice area now, and Dearra was often seen there to work with those chosen for the rescue mission. It was decided Hugh and Daniel would both go, and Rordan would stay to take charge of things in Hugh’s absence. Dearra had been Hugh’s first choice to take over the care of the island. Darius strongly protested her desire to join the rescue mission, but Hugh gave in to her pleas after only a few days. Daniel was too valuable an asset to leave behind. His skill with a sword and his knowledge of battle strategy would be needed in the strange land to which they were about to journey. Under ordinary circumstances, the Lord of Maj would never leave the island in the hands of another, but this was his son, and no power could stop him from going.

Darius, of course, would go, as he was essential to getting them safely there and providing information once they arrived.

A strong crew was chosen, all men, since physical strength at sea was necessary. A small woman could swing a sword or shoot a bow as well as—and in some cases, better than—any man, but it took muscle and brawn to control wet sails and heavy, wet rope. The men chosen were not only skilled sailors, but also adept fighters. Hugh, Daniel, and Darius hoped to gain Pip back by stealth and cunning, but they also knew they needed to be prepared for anything.

Last chosen to go was Carly. Daniel selected her himself, much to the surprise of many, but he argued that her negotiation skills would be needed, and the sight of such a small and defenseless female might make the Breken less wary. Darius conceded that the Breken might, indeed, look at Carly as insignificant, and consider the Maj less of a threat because of the weakness they showed in choosing their envoy. Carly was ecstatic at the opportunity, and her face lit up with joy as she beamed at Daniel with thanks.

Dearra thought it odd Daniel should put Carly forward as a member of the party, and then look so upset about having her along.

The gruff weapons master only shook his head as if befuddled by her enthusiasm, and turned to other matters.

Darius and Daniel spent hour after hour in Daniel’s room analyzing maps already in Daniel’s possession, or those that Darius had drawn from memory. Dearra would stop in the door and watch as the two men sat in conversation, marveling at how they seemed to grow closer by the day. She liked that Daniel would often clap a hand to Darius’s shoulder in almost father-like approval. To his credit, Daniel had not betrayed their secret to Hugh, and Dearra was thankful for his discretion. She had asked Daniel, once, why he had decided to accept the relationship between Darius and herself with such ease. Daniel had smiled a little and grumbled something about understanding them, knowing what it was to love the forbidden. Dearra didn’t really understand, but she was nevertheless grateful to have Daniel as an ally.

***

The end of November found Dearra in the Great Hall, sitting beside the fire, watching pairs of Maj as they worked together to practice close quarters combat. The Maj were used to fighting on land, but from time to time battle aboard ship was necessary, and there was always the possibility an enemy might overtake them and they would be boarded. Learning to fight with your back to the sea or when dangling precariously from a railing took some practice.

The groups of men fought today with wooden practice blades, packed tightly together to simulate battle on deck; accidents were sure to happen. The lack of true blades did nothing to diminish their enthusiasm for the task at hand, and many would go to bed that night with bruises that would not quickly fade.

Dearra was completely lost in thought, and when Carly came along side of her, she never heard her approach.

“I haven’t seen much of you lately, my friend.” Carly spoke quietly so as not to be overheard by the nearby men, and also so as not to startle Dearra.

Blinking rapidly as if she were waking from a dream, Dearra looked up at Carly and smiled. “What? I’m sorry I was thinking,” Dearra said, apologetically.

“I was saying we haven’t had much time together. I haven’t really had a chance to talk to you at all over the past month. Not since the day of Harvest Celebration.”

“We’ve spoken, Carly. You’ve been with me many times. Haven’t you been hovering over me at the request of Daniel and Darius?”

“Yes, but we never really talk. It’s always about the weather, or the trip, but we never really say anything.”

Dearra crinkled her brow and she tried to remember when they had last spoken to one another like they used to.

“Have I truly been so neglectful of you? I’m so sorry, Carly. Oh! The headband you loaned me! I still have it! Carly, you should have said something. I will get it immediately!”

“Don’t be stupid, Dearra,” Carly said. She placed a hand on Dearra’s shoulder to stop her. “It’s yours now. I could never look so well in it. Consider it a gift.”

“I can’t keep it, Carly. It was your Nanna’s.”

“We are like sisters anyway, Dearra. Let me do this for you.” Carly smiled a small, sad smile and sat in the large chair next to Dearra, her feet not touching the floor.

Dearra didn’t like this; Carly was never sullen. “What is it, dearest? I thought you were excited about being included in the trip. Have you changed your mind?”

“No, I am very happy to be going. You don’t know what it’s like, Dearra, to never be useful. I’m hardly ever even noticed…by anyone.”

“I notice you, Carly, and you are useful. Invaluable, really. I thought we already agreed no one could do what you do, and with such skill.”

“Some people find little use in talk. It’s action that impresses them. How am I to ever be noticed when I’m not big enough to lift a sword effectively, let alone swing it?”

“Some people?” Dearra asked. “Is there someone specific, Carly?” Dearra broke into a happy grin at the thought of Carly being interested in someone, but the grin slipped as fast as it appeared when Carly’s expression turned, if anything, even gloomier.

“Well, sort of,” Carly said hesitantly. “I know you were very busy, but did you happen to see who escorted me to my seat at Harvest Celebration?”

“Yes, yes, I did. Daniel is such a gentleman; he would never leave a lady unattended. What happened? Did your young man not step forward? Is that why you were forced to accept Daniel’s arm? Oh, I’m so sorry, Carly. What a disappointment. Maybe the boy just needs some time to build his confidence. Don’t let it bother you. You looked radiant that night. I even heard Daniel say so to my father, and you know he never notices anything that isn’t metal or leather. Don’t be discouraged. I’m sure, whoever he is, he will come around soon.”

Carly hesitated a moment, and a small smile crept onto her face. “Yes, maybe you are right. Maybe I just need to be patient and wait. A little more time might do it. Thank you, Dearra.”

“Are you going to tell me who it is? I bet I could guess. Is it Shawn or Martin? You must tell me, or I will burst!”

Carly stood and started to walk away.

“Wait!” Dearra shouted. “Where are you going?”

“To get a mop. Since I have no intention of telling you anything, I had best be prepared for the mess.”

Dearra giggled. “Fine then, keep your secrets, but you know I will figure it out eventually.”

Carly climbed back into the chair and smiled impishly at Dearra. “I don’t think so, but go ahead and try if it pleases you.

“Now, tell me about Darius. Was the night of Harvest Celebration the turning point I thought it would be?”

Dearra blushed, but nodded once.

“Did he finally kiss you? No, wait! What am I saying? I forget it’s you we’re talking about. What I meant to say was, did you figure out a way to kiss him?”

The blush on Dearra’s cheeks grew deeper. Again, she nodded her assent.

“Oh! Dearra! How wonderful!” Carly clapped a hand over her mouth at her own uncharacteristic response. A few men turned to look in their direction, and Carly blushed a little over her emotional outburst. Slipping back into her quieter voice she asked, “It’s been a month. Has there been a lot of that sort of thing?”

Dearra frowned a bit as she answered. “Not enough, unfortunately. Daniel steals him away, almost at first light every day, to go over plans they must have committed to memory by now, and Darius won’t let me come to his room anymore. He says it’s a risk he’s not comfortable taking. The big coward. As if I, in my nightgown, were some temptation for him. Can you believe that? I probably look like I’m wearing a dish towel in that thing, and he acts as if it’s hard for him to behave like a gentleman.”

Carly rolled her eyes at Dearra. “Well, at least one of you is acting responsibly. You can’t go traipsing off to a man’s bedroom in the middle of the night in nothing but a nightgown. I forbid it.”

Hah! I knew I liked the girl.

You just be quiet! No one asked for your opinion. This is a private conversation.

I wish! Listening to the two of you go on is enough to drive me crazy.

Hmm, listening to the two of us…Then you know who the mystery man in Carly’s life is? Dear, sweet, most intelligent, Brin. My true friend, my—

Not a chance, Fuzzy. That’s for Carly to tell you. Or not. It’s her choice.

Humph, some friend you are.

Carly’s laughter made Dearra realize she had been silent for some time. “You’re talking to Brin again, aren’t you? Oh, Dearra, if you could see the expressions that flit across your face. I can almost see what you’re thinking.”

“I hope not! Having Brin in my head is bad enough,” Dearra complained. “So, to get back to your earlier question: no, we don’t ever seem to have more than a moment or two alone. If it weren’t so terribly cold we could find more privacy. And on top of everything else, he seems determined to behave himself as much as possible. He’s so blasted tall that it isn’t like I can steal a kiss whenever I please. He has to allow it.”

“Dearra, you are acting like a spoiled child. He is trying to be respectful of you, and you are behaving like a brazen hussy. I would think you would have a little more self-control,” Carly said, gently scolding.

Dearra hung her head at Carly’s censure. “I know. You’re right. It’s just that…when I am near him, I want to touch him, to feel his strong arms around me, to feel his head resting on mine, holding me close. I don’t really want to be inappropriate, it just feels like I have been waiting for him my whole life, and now that I found him, I can’t get too close. You understand, don’t you? Please don’t be disappointed in me.”

Carly sighed and seemed to be a million miles away before answering. “Yes, Dearra. I do understand.”

Dearra frowned a little at the sadness that seemed to be creeping back into her normally cheerful friend.

“Come on, Carly! You may not be able to swing a sword or pull the string of a bow, but I can teach you how to use a dagger quite effectively. You may not be able to go into battle with it, but it can be very useful up close, and it’s a skill you could master. You definitely have the patience to become very good with it.”

“Do you really think so, Dearra? Oh, thank you!”

“Let’s go to Daniel’s room to find you a weapon.”

“A real dagger? To practice with? Are you sure?” Carly was nervous at the thought of hurting Dearra with her clumsy practice.

“Peace, Carly. You could never hurt me. Not until you practice some, anyway. It will be best if you learn with your own weapon. Later, when you get better, we will switch to wooden daggers to hone your skills.”

***

The two young women made their way into Daniel’s room where they strolled past Darius and Daniel who, as usual, were shoulder to shoulder over one of the tables. Darius was immediately distracted by Dearra and could not seem to pull his eyes from her. Daniel didn’t notice the break in conversation as, he too, was watching the pair as they approached one of the many weapons racks in the room. Dearra lifted first one and then another dagger from its place, feeling the weight and balance of it before returning it to the rack. Carly watched in rapt fascination.

When he could stand it no more, and his curiosity got the better of him, Daniel said, “Dearra, what are you doing? Has Brin offended you yet again? Thinking of switching weapons?”

“No, it’s for Carly.”

“Carly? What does she need with a weapon? She’s too little; she’ll only hurt herself.”

“I am not useless or stupid, Weapons Master! I can learn, to at least protect myself! I may not have the strength of a warrior, but I have the heart to try!” Carly actually stomped her foot on the floor after she spoke.