Breathless (170 page)

I needed to unbutton my shorts, or I was going to bust my damn zipper. I reached between us and unbuttoned them, sighing in relief. I pulled my hand away, making sure to brush her sensitive spot as I went. She jumped and dug her fingernails into my shoulders.

She’d opened her window when we came in, and we both froze as we heard a car door slam below us.

“Oh my god, my mom can’t be home yet,” she squealed as she pushed me off of her and ran to the window. “Shit! It is her! We have to hide you!”

I dropped my head onto her comforter and groaned. Her mother had the worst timing ever. “Where do you plan to hide me exactly?”

Her eyes searched the room frantically. “There—in my closet. Hurry!”

“You’ve got to be kidding me. I’m not hiding in your closet!”

“Please, Jesse! I can’t let her catch you here. She’ll never let me see you again.”

“Fine,” I growled.

I was pissed, really pissed. Not only did I have the worst case of blue balls on record, but I also had to hide in a cramped space for God knew how long. I stood and buttoned my pants back up as I walked to her closet and opened the door.
Holy shit.
I’d expected a regular closet, but Emma’s was bigger than my room at home.

She shoved me inside just as we heard a knock on the door, and I searched for someplace to hide in case her mom decided to search in here. I didn’t think she would, but Emma was the most transparent person on the planet, and I was sure her mom would know something was up. I noticed a small gap between where her clothing was hanging and a dresser next to the door. Figuring it was the safest spot, I walked over and crouched in my makeshift hiding spot. I could hear Emma and her mother talking, but the words were a bit muffled. I strained my ears, trying to hear what was being said. I caught the end of the sentence as her mom spoke.

“…you so nervous?”

“I’m not,” Emma said.

From in here, I could even tell that there was a nervous edge to her voice.

I need to teach her how to lie better.

“Todd here?”

“No!”

“If he is, I don’t care.”

“I swear, he isn’t.”

I held my breath as the doorknob turned.
Shit.
If her mom caught me in here, we were done.

The door opened, and I could hear the panic in Emma’s voice as she spoke.

“Seriously, do you not trust me? Todd is not in there!”

The door was wide open now, but her mother didn’t come inside. I breathed a sigh of relief as her voice came from farther inside Emma’s room.

“Of course I trust you. I know you’re not going to hide someone in your room. I’m sorry. I just thought you were trying to hide something.”

“Well, I’m not.”

“Okay. I talked to Todd’s mom again today, and she said he told her that you were upset with him. I thought you two might be together by now.”

I was so sick of her mother’s obsession with Todd. As far as I was concerned, the guy was an ass. She’d just stated flat-out that she was okay with him being in her daughter’s room, but I knew I’d never have the same offer. Just because his family had money, he was automatically the golden boy while I was the nasty kid from across town.

“No, we’re not together, and we’re not going to be. Todd is an ass.”

“I don’t understand why you won’t give the boy a chance. Is there someone else who you’re interested in?”

“Of course not. I’m not interested in Todd or any of the other trust fund guys at school.”

“And why not?”

“I don’t know. Does it matter?” Emma asked.

This was a train wreck that I couldn’t tear my ears away from.

“Of course it matters! You need to learn your place in life, Emma.”

“Are you even listening to yourself? Maybe I don’t want to take my place with all of those people who you try to force on me. Maybe I want to choose my own life.”

“I’m not even arguing with you about this. I don’t know what’s gotten into you lately, but it stops now. Get your act together, or you’re grounded.”

With that, her mom slammed the door behind her as she left. I stayed where I was just in case she was still in the room. I didn’t want to get Emma in any more trouble than she already was.

“You can come out now,” Emma said as she stepped into the closet.

I stood and walked out of my hiding spot.

“I assume you heard all of that?” “Kind of hard not to,” I replied.

She went back into her bedroom and sat down on the bed. I followed, but I didn’t sit on the bed with her. I was so pissed with the entire situation. All the emotions I’d been feeling these last few weeks bubbled up to the surface, and I couldn’t ignore them any longer.

“I don’t even know what to say. I will never understand her,” she said.

“I’m not sure what there is to understand. She’ll never accept me, and we both know it. I’m so tired of hiding us from everyone in your world. It’s like you’re ashamed of me.”

Her head snapped up to stare at me. “Are you kidding me? Of course I’m not ashamed of you! I want to shout that you are mine from the rooftops, but I can’t. If anyone found out, she’d force us apart.”

“You’re almost eighteen. What can she really do about it? You won’t have to stay here anymore soon.”

“You want me to move out of my mom’s house right now? Where would

I go? I’d have nothing, Jesse, and my dad can’t help me until I turn eighteen.”

“You could stay with me until your dad gets you a place to stay.”

“I can’t just give up my entire life!”

“Of course you can’t. I don’t know what I was thinking, asking you to come to the trailer park with me after living this kind of life.”

“It’s not even about that, and you know it.”

“It will always be about that. Even if we were together ten years from now, I’d never be able to provide this kind of life for you. Never,” I said as I realized it was the truth. I would never be able to take care of her the way she’d come to expect. She’d have to lose everything to be with me. “I’m so tired of this game we’re playing, Emma. I just…I can’t do it anymore.”

“What are you saying?” she whispered as tears filled her eyes. “Are you breaking up with me?”

“I don’t know what I’m doing. We both knew that we came from different worlds when we started this, but we ignored it. Well, I can’t ignore it anymore.”

“Jesse, please…”

“I have to go.” I walked to her bedroom door. Getting out of here without her mom seeing me was going to be tricky.

“I drove you here. At least, let me take you home,” she pleaded.

I shook my head. I needed to be far away from her. “I’ll call Andy or something. I’ll see you later.”

“Will you?”

“Will I, what?”

“See me later?”

I opened my mouth to say
yes
, but I closed it.
Will I?
I had no idea at this point.

“Bye, Emma.”

I slipped silently into the hallway and crept to the stairs. I could hear her mom talking on her phone in her room when I passed it, and I begged the powers above to keep her on that phone until I could get out of the house. I moved silently as I walked down the stairs and to the front door. It creaked just a bit when I opened it, and I froze, but no one appeared at the top of the stairs to see what had caused the noise.

When I reached the end of the driveway, I breathed a sigh of relief. I’d made it out without anyone catching me. I pulled my phone from my pocket and dialed Andy.

“Hello?”

“Andy, it’s Jesse. Can you come get me?” I asked.

“Sure, where are you?”

“I just left Emma’s.”

“Okay…I’ll be there in a few.”

“Good. And call the guys. I need to blow off some steam.”

“Fuck yeah! I’ll message them and tell them to meet us down at the beach.”

I disconnected the call and sat down on the curb to wait for Andy to show up.

***

I tipped back my beer to get the last few drops out of the bottle.

When Andy said he’d message the guys, what he had really meant was that he’d message half his school. Soon after we’d arrived at the beach, car after car had pulled in until the lot was full.

We were a good four hours into this party, and it showed no signs of slowing down. I’d already had too much to drink, but I didn’t care. I just wanted to forget about my stupid fight with Emma and relax for a while. Things were always so complicated with her, and quite frankly, I was sick of it. I just wanted a normal relationship where I could go anywhere with her and not worry about someone seeing us.

“Having fun?” Ally asked as she sat down beside me in the sand.

“Tons.”

“Please contain your enthusiasm,” she replied sarcastically.

“Sorry. I’m not in that great of a mood.”

“There’s a shocker. What’s wrong?”

“Emma.”

“Trouble in paradise? Did she get mad because you couldn’t afford a

10,000 dollar purse or something?”

I shot her a glare. “I don’t need your mouth tonight, Ally.”

“Okay, gesh. What’s wrong?”

“Everything. I won’t ever measure up to the standards that she’s used to.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Look at my life, and then look at hers. We’re from totally different worlds. I can’t give her that kind of life. I’m the flat-ass broke kid from the trailer park.”

“Who gives a shit if you can’t give her a mansion and a Ferrari? If she loves you, what you have to offer should be enough. I know you’ve realized by now that I don’t like her. She’s a stuck-up twat who thinks she’s better than me. But I don’t like seeing you unhappy. If you really care about her, you can’t let the obstacles get in your way.”

“Of course I love her. But will she love me when she’s living in a trailer park?”

“If that’s what she’s worried about, then she’s a bigger bitch than I thought.”

“It’s not her who’s worried about it. It’s me.” I stared at the fire in front of me that someone had started earlier.

Ally reached over and pushed my hair away from my face. “You’re an amazing guy, Jesse. You just need to realize how lucky
she
is to have
you.
” “Thanks, kid. I mean it.”

“I’m not a kid. I’m the same age as you.”

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever.” I grinned at her.

She threw her hands up in the air. “I’m tired of this moping shit. I’m going to go get a drink. You want another one?”

“Yeah, if you don’t mind.”

“I’ll be right back.”

I watched her as she walked away. I wished that Emma could be Ally.

Then, she would be a part of my life, and I wouldn’t have to feel the guilt that I was feeling now. Ally would never question the life that I could give her because she knew nothing else—unlike Emma, who was used to the finest of everything.

I spent the rest of the night drinking beer after beer until the fire in front of me started to spin. I cursed myself as I tried to focus. I had planned on driving back to my house in Andy’s car, but now, it looked like I would need to find a ride since both of us had been drinking way too much.

Lying down in the sand, I stared at a pair of feet that had come into my range of vision.

“You okay?” Ally asked as she bent down in front of me.

“Fine, but I need to find a ride home.”

“I can take you. I only had one beer, so I’m fine.”

“Thanks. Can you help me up?”

She laughed as she grabbed my arm and hauled me to my feet. I leaned into her as she led us to the rocks.

“You’re really out of it.”

“I’m fine,” I mumbled as she helped me climb over the rocks.
Damn, the girl is strong.

“Sure you are.”

She somehow managed to get me back down the trail and into her car. She closed my door, and before I even realized she wasn’t standing beside me, she was already in the driver’s seat.

“Holy fuck, you’re fast,” I slurred as the car started moving.

I must have dozed off because before I knew it, we were in front of my house, and Ally was trying to get me out of the car. I stumbled and nearly fell, but she caught me and continued dragging me to the door.

“Where are your keys?” she asked.

I tried to get them out of my pocket, but for some reason, I couldn’t get my hand inside my shorts.

“Oh, for heaven’s sake, I’ll get them.” She moved my hand away and started digging for my keys. As soon as she had them, she unlocked the door and led me inside.

I didn’t know how she was getting me to my room with the way I was staggering, but somehow, she did. I fell down onto my bed and buried my head under my pillow, willing the world to stop spinning so fast.

“I think I drank too much.”

Ally snorted. “Ya think?”

I took the pillow off my head and tried to focus on her. “Thanks for bringing me home. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“I’m not leaving just yet. I don’t want you to choke on your own vomit or something like that.”

“Gee, thanks,” I mumbled as I closed my eyes.

Everything went black.

Twenty-Shattered Ties

Emma

I’d spent the entire night worrying about Jesse, and I couldn’t stand it anymore. I’d tried to call and text him over and over, but he’d apparently shut off his phone because it always went straight to voice mail. I’d went over our last conversation over and over in my head, trying to understand what had happened to make him snap, but I couldn’t figure it out. I knew what my mom said had hurt him, but I didn’t think it was enough for him to leave me over. From the beginning, he had known just what kind of person she was.

I had hoped that we’d worked things out at his house, but that obviously wasn’t the case. I knew he was stressed over his mom trying to get him to move, and I was hoping that his outburst was because of that. I didn’t want to lose him. I couldn’t. I loved him.

Unable to sit around and wait any longer, I grabbed my keys and crept quietly to the garage where I’d parked my car the night before. I knew I was taking a chance on my mother catching me, but I didn’t care. I had to find Jesse and tell him that none of that stuff mattered to me. We could be together in a tent for all I cared—as long as I had him by my side.

I broke several traffic laws on my way to his house, and I was surprised that I hadn’t gotten pulled over. As soon as I parked my car outside of his house, I was out and running for the door. When I noticed Ally’s car parked next to Jesse’s, my stomach instantly dropped. At least, I thought it was her car. I’d only seen it once when we first met outside the dinner.
What is she doing here so early?