Breathless (19 page)

“You keep saying that.” I wish he’d quit saying that. “I don’t think you know what normal people thank others for.”

“And you do?”

I’m going to wipe that smirk off his face if it’s the last thing I do. It’ll take some time, and I’ll have to catch him off guard, but some day, some day I’ll do it. In my eyes, he killed my brother twice. Once when Seth made me do it and once when he talked him into doing it himself. There’s nothing good about Seth, son of Adam. No matter what he thinks.

“I know enough to know that normal people don’t talk others into taking their own life. That’s sick.” I’m shaking, and I’m trying not to. I wipe the tears from my eyes, refusing to let them drop again. I won’t give him the satisfaction.

“Hart, how long have you known me?”

“Too long.” Much too long.

“And in that time, have you ever known me to do something that didn’t have some sort of meaning behind it?”

I shake my head, unsure of where this is going, and I don’t think I want to know. “So, you’re saying you had a reason for making my brother kill himself?”

It sounds stupid and horrible in my own ears. Then again, I know Seth, and I’m sure he has, in his own warped imagination, a very good reason for it to happen.

I don’t give a damn about his very good reason. I want my brother back.

“You know it too, Hart. Think about it. You said it yourself that in order for the Abomination to be stopped, we needed a human heart.”

“I thought that meant figuratively! Like we needed to fill the abomination with love and kindness and whatever the hell else we could shove into her to make her see butterflies and fairies and good and love and mercy.”

Seth blinks a few times at me. “No, Hart. There’s a spell to get Gracen back inside her body. I found it in the book, as well as one of the ingredients.”

“The last ingredient,” Gracen says ever so helpfully behind me.

“The last ingredient,” Seth continues, “is a human heart.”

“Like a literal human heart?” I’m going to be sick. Not only did Lucien die, but now Seth wants to use his heart for some kind of soul-putting-back-in thing?

He nods. “Human heart. Angel blood. Abomination blood. We have the angel blood thanks to me, the human heart thanks to your brother, and Abomination blood.”

“Thanks to me,” Gracen says, but I don’t see how that’s possible. She’s sort of a ghost without the benefits.

“No. Abomination blood, thanks to Hart.”

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

Gracen

“
I
DON’T HAVE
A
BOMINATION BLOOD IN
me.” Hart sounds very convinced about that. I keep going through my brain to figure out what the heck Seth is trying to get at. I’ve got nothing.

Thankfully, Seth isn’t one to keep people waiting long.

Seth clears his throat and rolls his eyes in Hart’s direction. “Do you not remember in the hotel when you kissed Miss Sullivan so passionately that it cut your lip and you bled?”

Holy Hell. I remember that, too.

“Yes.”

“Well then, congratulations. You have Abomination blood in you. You’re connected to Gracen… to the Abomination… in more ways than you could ever imagine.”

“Is that why I could move Hart and not Lucien? Cause we were connected through the blood?”

The thought of Lucien lying over there, dead, breaks my heart. I couldn’t save him. Not after Seth had brainwashed Lucien into whatever thing Seth made him do.

Hart isn’t saying anything. He’s standing there, breathing all heavy, with his eyes narrowed, staring at Seth like he’s trying to think of ways to break his nose… or his face… or neck… or all of the above.

I don’t blame him.

We’ve all lost a lot. There’s no question about that. But Hart had just gotten his brother back. It isn’t easy when you’ve been caught in a lie, in a scheme that has nothing to do with you, not really. Hart only wanted revenge on Lucien because he thought he’d shot him. A lie. Seth’s lie.

Hart spent the better part of his life trying to make Lucien suffer, trying to make him pay, trying to get him back… and in some ways, I think, trying to get Lucien to remember.

He spent a lifetime to get back at his brother.

He only got one day, less than that, really to reconnect.

I think he’s mourning more than just his brother. I think Hart’s mourning all the things he didn’t get to do with his brother. I think Hart’s missing his family and, unless I’m projecting, he just wants everything over with soon.

And if Seth would just stand still, Hart would more than likely greatly appreciate it.

I wish I could read his mind and see what he’s thinking. There has to be some way I can help him, something I can do. Something I can do to save the world, because in the grand plan of it all, Lucien is just one person. Sad as it is, he’s just one man. Thousands have died already thanks to the Abomination. Marcy was one of them. Marcy was my friend. Marcy is stuck in the Abyss.

She didn’t have Seth pulling strings for her and getting her into Heaven.

“What’s your big plan, huh?” I’m surprised Hart even talks to Seth. I guess Hart figures we don’t have much time. He’ll kill Seth later. I’d like to watch it.

Seth holds the big golden book in front of him. “It’s all in here.”

“I gathered that, jackass. I mean, what’s your plan? You need a human heart. Fine. Why Lucien’s? What’s the actual plan? Why did you make him kill himself?”

Seth tilts his head to the side like he tends to do when he’s studying a person. “What makes you think I made your brother do anything?” His voice is low… He doesn’t move fast enough for Hart who connects his fist to Seth’s jaw, which quite frankly surprises the heck out of me.

Blood spews from his lip and onto the floor. Seth staggers back, and… smiles. “Exactly.”

“What?” Hart asks.

“Do you feel better now, Hart?”

“I’ll feel better when you’re dead and I have my brother back.”

“Your brother isn’t coming back. Not now. Not ever.”

“Because he’s in Heaven now,” Hart says with a sneer.

“Heaven.” Seth smiles back. It’s not good when he smiles like that. Not that it is really good when he smiles at all. “Yes, he’s in Heaven.”

Crap.

Crap…

“Where is he?” Hart has the same idea I have. Maybe not the same idea, but I think he knows something’s up. Of course it’s Seth, so it’s not like he’s going to be on the straight and narrow.

“
He’s
here.” Lucien comes out from the kitchen, staring at me with big ole eyes. He’s pale and clear and…

“He’s in the Abyss.” I walk toward him and throw my arms around his neck. I don’t go through him. My hands can touch him, not his skin exactly. I don’t think we have skin anymore. I don’t know what we have… but I can touch him, and I appreciate it. I pull him to me, and he hugs me back, tightly. He puts his face in my hair, and it feels nice for someone to hold me. For a split second, it’s like everything will be all right, except it won’t because Lucien is dead, and I’m a soul and my body is killing the world and Seth did something stupid… and Hart is staring.

“Lucien’s here?” His jaw flinches.

It hits me. Hart can’t see Lucien unless Seth lets him. And, since Seth is being an ass, I don’t see that happening. “He’s here.”

“Is he that big blob that you seem to be hugging?”

“Tell him I miss him too.” Lucien smiles over my head. I suppose he thinks it would be impolite to look through me.

“You killed yourself.” I smack him on the chest when I finally get the warm and fuzzies out of the way. “Do you know what you’ve done?”

“Apparently killed myself.” He leans on the doorframe. “Do you think I wanted to do it? Do you think if there were any other choice, I would’ve taken it? This is what we have to do. This is our one chance of stopping the Abomination. Seems stupid to get upset over dying when we’re all dying anyway.”

I feel like smacking him again. This time, I refrain. “You said you were going to Heaven. You said…” Oh Lord… no.

“It’s what he said.” Lucien motions toward Seth. “He said he could get me back inside the Pearly Gates if I did this for the world. When I saw you, that’s where I thought I was going. Turns out, I was a bit wrong.”

“He lied to you. He didn’t work his magic, and he didn’t sneak you back in.” I don’t know why it surprises me, but it does. After all the things Seth has done, after all the bad things he’s committed, why am I still surprised? Who is the stupid moron now?

“I didn’t lie.” Seth acts like he’s offended that we would call him a liar. “I will get him to Heaven. He has my word on it. For now, though, I need him as leverage.”

“Would someone please tell me what’s going on?” I think Hart is keeping it together as much as he can. However, I also think that any minute he’s going to go off and start throwing things. “You promised Lucien Heaven if he offed himself, and now he’s here and you’re holding him hostage for some weird reason that I don’t know if I want to understand.”

Sounds about right.

Seth wipes the blood from his jaw. “Hart, let me speak slowly so someone even of your lagging understanding can comprehend. We need a human heart. We have that with Lucien. We need angel blood. We have that with me. And Abomination blood. Thanks to you. Mix all three. Say a spell. Boom. Gracen is back inside her body.”

Hart’s nose flares. “Seems all cut and dry and easy, don’t it? What aren’t you telling us, besides the fact that your entire plan called for the death of my brother?”

“Stop being so dramatic. Your brother has been dead since 1863. And you’ve wanted to do away with his soul since that time, so don’t you dare get all high and mighty on me when we need him to save the world, the
world
, if I have to remind you, that you helped to destroy in the first place.”

I expect Hart to flinch. He doesn’t. “You think I don’t know that. I would gladly give up
my
life to save the world if I had to, but not Gracen’s and not my brother’s.”

Seth slowly walks toward Hart. When Seth’s so close he could head butt Hart, Seth stops. “Too bad
your
life wasn’t important enough to do anybody any good.”

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

Hart

S
ETH ALWAYS HAD A WAY ABOUT
himself. A way to let you know that you weren’t as good as he is and never will be. He’s said crap like this before. Never has it hit me as hard as it does now.

Lucien is important.

Gracen is important.

Like he doesn’t think I know that?

I know that I’m the least important person in this operation. Why does he think I want to die?

No, I don’t want to die. Not really. It just seems to me that if there were a weakest link, it would be me. And that would mean that I should be the one to sacrifice myself for the greater good.

That… and the fact that I’m now the only human here. When it’s over… and if we win… Lucien and Gracen will go to Heaven. Seth too, unless someone throws him out.

And I’ll be here all alone.

I can’t take that.

I know I won’t be able to take that, so if I could go down swinging, go down for the greater good, then I’d be all for that. At least it would make my life mean something, my death, my revenge. It would make it all at least seem worth it. It would make it a lot more than worth it if I could save Lucien and Gracen along the way.

I don’t know how to do that.

I’m not even really sure how to do anything at this point.

“Why didn’t you send him to Heaven?” Seth’s breath is sweet, sweet like candy, which is an incredibly odd thing to think about at this very moment, but I can’t help but think about it.

“Leverage.” He seethes. “I know you, Hart. I know you’d try to come up with something or some reason or some ill-advised plan on how to save your brother, and I couldn’t have you do that. We have a plan, a mission, that’s bigger than all of us. But I knew you wouldn’t let Lucien stay in the Abyss forever. It might not seem like it now, but it’s a terribly unpleasant place. Lots of nasty, nasty things in the Abyss. Lots of time. Nothing to do. A soul can go crazy there. I knew you, being the loyal brother you are, would do anything to get him out of there. Even listen to me. Even do exactly what I say to do so, because at the end of this, I can get Lucien through the Pearly Gates.”

“You son of a bitch.” I can barely get the words out. No matter what I do. No matter what path I take, I’ll have to do what Seth wants to the letter or my brother is stuck.

End of story.

That bastard played me.

He played all of us.

“Let me see him.” If I can see him, maybe it would make it feel a little better. I suppose… I don’t know. I can see his body lying over on the couch. I should cover him or something. He’s cold and lifeless and not there. “Please… I just need to see him.”

Seth seems to consider it. “You can see Gracen. That’s enough.” He pauses. “Hold that thought.”

I step forward to let him know how wrong he is, and then he’s gone. Disappeared. Again. Only this time he isn’t anywhere else in the room. He didn’t just pop in and pop out, and then, bam, whack me over the back with the book. He’s gone. I’m left with Gracen, my dead brother’s body—and supposedly his spirit, the one I can’t see.

“Hart,” Gracen says, but I don’t look at her. I don’t even really feel anything. I’m too numb. I had finally gotten away from Seth and his demands, only to be back in his stupid clutches again. I hate it. I hate him.

I hate it all.

I hate my brother for listening to him.

Although I admire him for doing what he needed to do to save us.

Doesn’t mean my heart isn’t breaking, though.

I take off my jacket. It’s the only thing I can see that will do the trick. I walk over to him and fall to my knees beside his body.

“He says he’s here and you don’t have to do that.” Gracen means well. She can’t know how this hurts, though. I’m human. They’re not.

I don’t acknowledge that she spoke. Gently, I run my fingers over Lucien’s lashes, making his eyes close. There, maybe his body can rest now, even if his spirit can’t. I place my jacket over his face to give him at least a little bit of dignity.