Brian Friel Plays 1 (12 page)

TOM
:
Out to the sandbanks! Get them in the bloody bent!

NED
:
We’re away – Wait! Wait! – How much money have you?

(
They
both
produce
their
money
–
a
fistful
of
small
coins
.)

TOM
:
2s 6d … 2s 11d … 3s 3d … 3s 5½d.

NED
:
And I have 6s 2d. It’ll have to do. Say a prayer they’re fast and thrifty.

TOM
:
Dirty aul brute! Lead the way, Bull!

NED
:
I’m telling you-the blood’s up!

TOM
:
Coming, lads?

PUBLIC
:
I’m getting up at half six.

NED
:
(
Casually
from
the
door
) So long, Gar. You know the aul rule – if you can’t be good …

TOM
:
Send us a pack of them playing cards – the ones with the dirty pictures on the back!

NED
:
And if the women are as easy as the money out there, we might think of joining you. (
To
TOM
) Right, old cock?

TOM
:
Bull on regardless! Yaaaaaaaaaaah!

(
They
open
the
door.
NED
hesitates
and
begins
taking
off
the
broad
leather
belt
with
the
huge
brass
buckle
that
supports
his
trousers
.)

NED
:
(
Shyly,
awkwardly
)
By the way, Gar, since I’ll not see you again before you go –

TOM
:
Hi! What are you at? At least wait till you’re sure of the women!

NED
:
(
Impatiently
to
TOM
) Agh, shut up!
(To
PUBLIC
) If any of them Yankee scuts try to beat you up some dark night, you can … (
Now
he
is
very
confused
and
flings
the
belt
across
the
room
to
PUBLIC
) … you know … there’s a bloody big buckle on it … many’s a get I scutched with it …

TOM
:
Safe enough, lads: he has braces on as well!

NED
:
I meant to buy you something good, but the aul fella didn’t sell the calf to the jobbers last Friday … and he could have, the stupid bastard, such a bloody stupid bastard of an aul fella!

PUBLIC
:
(
Moved
) Thanks, Ned … thanks …

JOE
:
Dammit, I have nothing for you, Gar.

TOM
:
(
Quickly
) Are we for the sandbanks or are we not?

NED
:
You’ll make out all right over there … have a …

TOM
:
I know that look in his eyes!

(
NED
wheels
rapidly
on
TOM
,
gives
him
a
more
than
playful
punch
,
and
says
savagely:
)

NED
:
Christ, if there’s one get I hate, it’s you!

(
He
goes
off
quickly
,
TOM
looks
uncertainly
after
him
,
looks
back
at
PUBLIC
,
and
says
with
dying
conviction
:)

TOM
:
The blood’s up … Oh, by God, when he goes on like that, the … the blood’s up all right …

(
TOM
looks
after
NED
,
then
back
to
JOE
and
GAR
,
as
if
he
can’t
decide
which
to
join,
then
impetuously
he
dashes
off
after
NED
,
calling
:)

Hi! Ned, Ned, wait for me …

(
There
is
a
silence.
PUBLIC
is
looking
at
the
belt.
JOE
begins
to
fidget.
Now
PUBLIC
becomes
aware
of him
.)

PUBLIC
:
What the hell are you waiting for?

JOE
:
Dammit, man, like it’s your last night and all, and I thought –

PUBLIC
:
Get to hell and run after them.

JOE
:
Sure you know yourself they’ll hang about the gable of the hotel and chat and do nothing.

PUBLIC
:
For God’s sake, man, those English women will be swept off their feet!

JOE
:
(
Uncertainly
) You’re taking a hand at me now.

PUBLIC
:
I’m telling you, you’re missing the chance of a lifetime.

JOE
:
Maybe – eh? – what d’you think?

PUBLIC
:
Go on! Go on!

JOE
:
God, maybe you’re right. You never know what’ll happen, eh? You finish that (
drink
) for me! God, maybe we’ll click the night! Say a wee prayer we do! Cripes, my blood’s up too! Where’s my cap?

(
He
grabs
the
cap
,
dashes
to
the
door
,
remembers
he
won’t
see
GAR
again
.)

JOE
:
Send us a card, Gar, sometimes, eh?

PUBLIC
:
Surely, Joe.

JOE
:
Lucky bloody man. I wish I was you.

PUBLIC
:
There’s nothing stopping you, is there?

JOE
:
Only that the mammy planted sycamore trees last year, and she says I can’t go till they’re tall enough to shelter the house.

PUBLIC
:
You’re stuck for another couple of days, then. Away off with you, man.

JOE
:
Good luck, Gar. And tell Madge that the next time she asks us up for tea we’d bloody well better get it.

PUBLIC
:
She
asked
you?

JOE
:
That’s why I was joking her about us keeping our word. As if we wanted tea, for God’s sake! But I’d better catch up with the stirks before they do damage … So long, aul cock!

(
He
runs
off
.)

PUBLIC
:
Madge … Oh God …

(
PRIVATE
moves
over
beside
him.
He
speaks
quickly
,
savagely
at
first,
spitting
out
the
first
three
lines.
Gradually
he
softens,
until
the
speech
ends
almost
in
a
whisper
:)

PRIVATE
:
They’re louts, ignorant bloody louts and you’ve always known it! And don’t pretend you’re surprised; because you’re not. And you know what they’ll do tonight, don’t you? They’ll shuffle around the gable of the hotel and take an odd furtive peep into the lounge at those English women who won’t even look up from their frigid knitting! Many a time you did it yourself, bucko! Aye, and but for Aunt Lizzy and the grace of God, you’d be there tonight, too, watching the lights go out over the village, and hearing the front doors being bolted, and seeing the blinds being raised; and you stamping your feet to keep the numbness from spreading, not wanting to go home, not yet for another while, wanting to hold on to the night although nothing can happen now, nothing at all … Joe and Tom and big, thick, generous Ned … No one will ever know or understand the fun there was; for there
was
fun and there
was
laughing – foolish, silly fun and foolish, silly laughing; but what it was all about you can’t remember, can you? Just the memory of it – that’s all you have now – just the memory; and even now, even so soon, it is being distilled of all its coarseness; and what’s left is going to be precious, precious gold … 

(
There
is
a
knock
at
the
door.
PUBLIC
goes
off
to
answer
it
.)

KATE
:
(
Off
) Hello, Gar.

PRIVATE
:
Kate!

KATE
:
(
On
)
This isn’t a healthy sign, drinking by yourself.

PRIVATE
:
Talk! Talk!

PUBLIC
:
What – what are you doing here?

KATE
:
I hear you’re off to America.

PUBLIC
:
First thing in the morning.

KATE
:
You wouldn’t think of calling to say good-bye to your friends, I suppose?

PUBLIC
:
I was going to, but I –

PRIVATE
:
Careful!

PUBLIC
:
– it went clean out of my mind. You know how it is, getting ready …

KATE
:
I understand, Gar.

PRIVATE
:
She’s a married woman, you bugger!

KATE
:
Philadelphia?

PUBLIC
:
Yes. Take a seat.

KATE
:
To an aunt, isn’t it?

PUBLIC
:
That’s right. A sister of mother’s.

KATE
:
And you’re going to work in a hotel.

PUBLIC
:
You know as much about it as I do.

KATE
:
You know Baile Beag – Small Town.

PUBLIC
:
I’ll probably go to night-school as well – you know, at night –

PRIVATE
:
Brilliant.

PUBLIC
:
– do law or medicine or something –

PRIVATE
:
Like hell! First Arts stumped you!

KATE
:
You’ll do well. Gar; make a lot of money, and come back here in twenty years’ time, and buy the whole village.

PUBLIC
:
Very likely. That’s my plan anyhow.

PRIVATE
:
Kate … Kathy …

PUBLIC
:
How’s your father and mother?

KATE
:
Fine, thanks. And Mr O’Donnell?

PUBLIC
:
Grand, grand. Is Dr King well?

KATE
:
I hear no complaints.

PRIVATE
:
Then the Dauphiness of Versailles. And surely never lighted on this orb, which she hardly seemed to touch, a more delightful vision. I saw her just above the horizon, decorating and cheering the elevated sphere she just began to move in –

PUBLIC
:
(
A
shade
louder
than
necessary
) I’ll come home when I make my first million, driving a Cadillac and smoking cigars and taking movie-films.

KATE
:
I hope you’re very happy there and that life will be good to you.

PUBLIC
:
(
Slightly
louder
) I’ll make sure life’s good to me from now on.

KATE
:
Your father’ll miss you.

PUBLIC
:
(
Rapidly,
aggressively
) That’s his look out! D’you know something? If I had to spend another week in Ballybeg, I’d go off my bloody head! This place would drive anybody
crazy! Look around you, for God’s sake! Look at Master Boyle! Look at my father! Look at the Canon! Look at the boys! Asylum cases, the whole bloody lot of them!

PRIVATE
:
(
Pained
) Shhhhhhh!

PUBLIC
:
Listen, if someone were to come along to me tonight and say, ‘Ballybeg’s yours – lock, stock, and barrel,’ it wouldn’t make that (
Cracks
his
fingers
) much difference to me. If you’re not happy and content in a place – then – then – then you’re not happy and content in a place! It’s, as simple as that. I’ve stuck around this hole far too long. I’m telling you: it’s a bloody quagmire, a backwater, a dead-end! And everybody in it goes crazy sooner or later! Everybody!

PRIVATE
:
Shhhhhhhh …

PUBLIC
:
There’s nothing about Ballybeg that I don’t know already. I hate the place, and every stone, and every rock, and every piece of heather around it! Hate it! Hate it! And the sooner that plane whips me away, the better I’ll like it!