Bride by Command (29 page)

She would remain under constant guard, in case she changed her mind about staying in the palace until her instruction was done. He wouldn’t lose her, not like this. When she calmed down, she’d forgive him. Wouldn’t she?

Morgana had not agreed to see her husband. Since discovering his true identity, she did not even admit to anyone that she had a husband. Jahn was determined that he would change her mind, even if it meant facing a cold-eyed, powerful witch every night until she came to her senses. He would imprison her here for as long as it took to convince her that she was empress and he would have no other. When she calmed down—
if
she calmed down—she would see reason.

The chamber they had shared for a short while had been transformed once again. The remains of Morgana’s anger had been taken away, the dust cleared, the broken and destroyed furnishings replaced. What was most changed, however, was Morgana herself, a much-too-solemn woman who sat by the window. She hadn’t donned one of the three very nice gowns he’d had delivered to her room today, but wore the yellow frock which was now no more than a faded, patched rag. Her hair was drawn back in a simple twist, as she sometimes wore it when working, and though he had sent more than one pair of fine slippers to her today, she continued to wear the battered walking boots she’d had on her feet when she’d left home.

It was her face which had changed, her face and the set of her shoulders and the almost visible wall she had built around herself which made her look different than she had just yesterday. The eyes which glared at him were blessedly green.

“What are you doing here?” she asked sharply.

“I live here.”

“No, you don’t,” she said softly.

Jahn stepped deeper into the room, determined not to give up so easily. “Did you not like the new gowns I had delivered to you?”

“Not particularly,” she said crisply.

“Tomorrow I will try to choose more wisely. Is there a particular style or color or fabric you prefer?”

“Do you think you can buy your way out of your lies with clothing and shoes?” she asked, not rising from her chair to greet him or to push him back.

He would prefer anger to this calm, cold acceptance. He wanted her to rail against him so he could argue with her and make her see reason. “You can have anything you want, Ana,” he said, perhaps a bit desperately.

She glanced down at her lap and shook her head. “You can’t give me what I want. And don’t call me Ana. I am Lady Morgana Ramsden, and I have not changed my mind about participating in your ridiculous contest. When the time comes, you will have to choose another as your empress.”

“I will not,” he said testily.

She looked up at him. “Then you will remain unwed,” she responded in that maddeningly easy voice.

“How can you be so calm?” he asked, losing his temper—the last thing he’d intended to do.

“I must remain calm. You saw what happens when I lose my temper, when I let my emotions take form and fly from my body.” Her eyes bored into him. “Why do you think I was so determined to remain unwed?”

“You said you promised your mother you would wait for love.”

She blushed. “That was long ago, when I was a girl foolish enough to believe in the kind of love my mother spoke of. Later in my life I thought more practically. I knew all along a husband, any husband, would eventually rouse the worst in me.” Those warm green eyes softened. “I was wrong to think you were different.”

“You were not . . .”

She very quickly changed the subject. “The tutor you sent to me, Angelo Rainer, says I must learn to contain my emotions before I can learn to control my curse. I can’t do that with you here, My Lord Emperor.”

“I’m still Jahn to you,” he argued, hating the sound of such a formal address coming from her mouth.

“No, you’re not,” she whispered. “The Jahn I thought I knew does not exist. He was a fantasy, a dream, a
lie.
” A spark of a chill flashed in her eyes, and she closed them quickly and muttered a few words he could not discern. “Please, My Lord Emperor, go. Leave me be. Allow me to learn to control my curse and live my life far from any who would bring it to the surface again.” Her hands balled into fists. “Just . . . leave me alone!”

“I can’t.”

“I don’t want you,” Morgana said coldly. “You are everything I
do not want
in a man.”

“That’s too bad. I’m yours whether you want me or not.” He reached for something, anything, to hold onto Morgana. “What if there’s a child?”

“Emperors have produced bastards before,” she said with maddening composure.

Jahn could not suppress his flash of anger. He was prepared to grovel, to cajole, to charm, but it was clear that Morgana was not ready to forgive him. Not yet. He backed toward the door. “Do you remember how I told you, on our first night together, that I take care of my own?”

“Of course.”

“That was not a lie. I will take care of you. Learn what you need to learn from Deputy Rainer, Lady Morgana. And while you’re learning, take time to look into your heart and remember what we shared. Yes, there were lies, but what we had went far beyond any falsehood I could arrange. We had love. We can have it again.” Again he was reminded of his father, a man he did not wish to become. “And if you cannot forgive me, if you can’t find love again, then I will let you go.” With that he left her, the knowledge that her forgiveness was not forthcoming gnawing at his insides.

RAINER
was surprised when, after ignoring him for days, Lady Danya sought him out after a fine evening meal shared with countless other palace residents in the Level Nine dining hall. He’d been ready to retire early, after an unexpectedly long day, and then he’d looked across the room and there was Danya, walking toward him with her dark eyes all but pinned to his face. She looked determined and tired; scared and alone; desperate and beautiful. Heaven above, he never knew what to expect from her.

The tight smile she forced as she came near caught him off guard. “Deputy Rainer,” she said, as sweetly as she could manage. Not unexpectedly, others in the area fled.

“My Lady.” Rainer gave her a brief but suitable bow. He was sworn to secrecy and could tell no one, especially not Danya, but after meeting Morgana, he found it impossible to imagine that the emperor would choose any other as his bride. Love had a particular energy that he could not help but absorb when the emperor spoke of the woman who considered herself cursed. It was almost certain that in a few days Danya would be rejected and sent home—whether Lady Morgana had her unwanted powers under control or not.

He could almost feel sorry for Danya, who wanted to be empress so badly it had turned her into a wicked person he did not recognize as the woman he had escorted here.

“It’s a lovely evening,” she said. “Would you walk outdoors with me? The emperor has a beautiful garden and there are many flowers in bloom.”

Rainer blinked in surprise. After a few relatively pleasant days of what might be called friendship, she had dismissed him as beneath her, as a pest, as an unwanted nuisance. Now she invited him on an evening walk in the emperor’s garden? What did she want from him? He was quite sure she wanted something.

“If you would like, of course.” He offered her his arm, in an entirely acceptable manner, and she took it. When she touched him, he felt the almost imperceptible tremor that went bone deep. She was terrified, of someone or something. As they left the dining hall, he felt numerous eyes on his back. They would be the subject of malicious gossip, he imagined. He didn’t care.

One level down from the dining hall were the ground floor and the rear exit which led to the emperor’s garden. A few oil lamps burned there, for security purposes more than to illuminate the popular garden. He and Danya walked down a narrow stone path, and she did seem to admire the flowering plants they walked past. He said nothing; neither did she. They walked in complete silence until they reached the far edge of the garden.

Danya stopped near the tall stone wall that surrounded the palace grounds and turned to face him. “I suppose you’re wondering why I asked you to walk with me, after our last unpleasant encounter.”

“Yes,” Rainer said simply.

Danya looked up as if studying the stars. “I’m sorry about that. To be honest, I realized that I liked you more than I should. We would spend time together and I’d find myself thinking . . . thoughts I should not allow.” She looked him in the eye. “You are my only friend here, Rainer, and I have missed you.”

“You might have more friends if you did not make an effort to be difficult,” he said bluntly. “Since coming to the palace you’ve been demanding and often unkind.”

Finely shaped eyebrows arched. “That’s rather bold of you to say.”

“Friends tell the truth,” he responded.

Her lower lip trembled, and he could not tell if that reaction to his comment was an act or not. Was she vulnerable or manipulative? A lost little girl or an ambitious bitch? There had been a time when he’d thought he understood her, but lately—lately he could not be sure.

“What do you want from me, Danya?”

“I want you to be my friend again, and maybe”—she glanced to the side coyly—“maybe you can be more than a friend.” She took his hand and pulled him into darker shadows, and there she threw herself at him and planted a cold kiss on his lips.

Rainer tasted the desperation he’d seen on Danya’s face earlier in the evening. He felt the pounding of her heart, the tremor of her lips. After a moment her lips parted and she slipped her tongue into his mouth, practiced and arousing. A hand grasped at his shirt and she pressed her body closer to his.

In the early days he’d found Danya extraordinarily physically attractive. During their private evenings she’d seemed a different woman, a woman he could care for—not at all the woman she had become. On more than one occasion he had dreamed of kissing her, but this was not the kiss he wanted. He didn’t want to be the man she turned to for solace when she was despondent and forlorn.

Rainer took his mouth from hers. “We can’t do this.”

“I thought you liked me,” she whispered.

So did I.
“You are a bridal candidate,” he said, even though he could not imagine that she would win the position.

“Yes, but the emperor’s marriage will be one of politics and convenience,” Danya argued. “Doesn’t a woman deserve more? Don’t I deserve love and passion in my life, even if I win the emperor’s hand?”

“Don’t you believe that you can find love and passion in an arranged marriage?”

“No,” she whispered. “Is there someone else? Do you love another?”

“No.”

“Then love me, for a while,” Danya said seductively. She boldly placed a hand over the evidence that he was not unmoved by her offers or her kiss. She stroked, fingers firm and practiced, palm warm.

Rainer closed his eyes and allowed his mind and his will to drift. The emperor wasn’t going to marry Danya, he knew that. It wasn’t as if he would be taking advantage of a future empress, and it wasn’t as if he hadn’t imagined this very scenario a time or two.

But he would be taking advantage. He grabbed Danya’s wrist and gently pulled her hand away from his body. “I will be your friend without the promise of anything more,” he said.

“I know,” she whispered, sounding defeated and dejected.

He wanted her to be neither. He wanted her to be happy, to be free. His ability to sense energy told him that she was not at all free, not inside or out. He didn’t understand—wasn’t sure he or anyone else could. When the emperor’s contest was over and Danya knew she would not be empress, perhaps they could explore something more. But for now, for tonight . . . “We will take things slowly, you and I,” he said.

“But why . . .”

“Slowly, Danya,” he insisted, and then he kissed her.

This kiss was different from the first. This kiss was slower, and it was full of promise. There was no desperation, no grasping, no surging tongues. Not yet. The kiss was warm and gentle, two mouths barely touching, two mouths learning one another. Danya’s lips barely parted and Rainer’s did the same. She held her breath; her heartbeat slowed. They leaned into one another gently, sharing a breath, stealing a moment in time. When it was done, she swayed on her feet and he had to steady her.

The energy that rolled off her body was different from what he’d felt before. The desperation was gone. No, not gone but dampened, at least for the moment.

“I’ve never been kissed like that before,” she said.

Rainer took her arm and led her back toward the palace. “Good.”

 

 

DANYA
was almost lightheaded as she allowed Rainer to lead her back to the level of the palace where her quarters were located. When she was empress, she would be on a lower level and would not have to climb so much, but tonight she did not mind. The tedious climb meant Rainer remained with her longer. She did not want to let him go. Still, she said good night long before she reached her door, just in case Kristo was in her chambers waiting for her, as he sometimes was. She did not want her “uncle” anywhere near Angelo.

The deputy minister of magic confused her. He was a man like any other, and she had offered him anything he might desire. He could’ve tossed up her skirt and taken her in the garden, and she would not have uttered a word of protest as he took what every man wanted from a woman. He’d been hard; he desired her well enough—and yet he had taken nothing. He had done nothing more than to offer her a kiss like no other she had ever known, sweet and arousing and deep in ways she could not explain.

When the door to her chamber was closed behind her, Danya leaned against it and sighed. She did not want to kill Rainer. She wanted to hold him, to kiss him again, to see him smile. She did not want to rid the world of one of its truly good men! What a waste that would be.