Bright Purple: Color Me Confused with Bonus Content (9 page)

“T
HANKS FOR PICKING ME UP
,” I
TELL
M
ITCH THE NEXT MORNING
.

“No problem,” he says as he pulls out of my driveway.

“Sure beats taking the bus.” I laugh. “Okay, that’s a huge understatement. This is like way, way better than taking the bus!”

“Hey, I understand. I used to have to ride the bus sometimes too. I was so glad when I finally got my own wheels.”

“Yeah, if you hadn’t offered me a lift, I probably would’ve started riding my bike to school,” I admit.

“That might be a challenge when it gets icy.”

“Well, I really do appreciate it. And if I get a job, like I plan to, maybe I’ll have wheels too, before long anyway. Maybe by Christmas even.”

“You still stuck on that idea?”

“Why not?”

“Well, it just seems such a waste.”

“Getting a car?” I turn and stare at Mitch. It worries me that he sometimes reminds me of my mom—not something you really want to see in your boyfriend!

“No, not that. Getting a car is cool. I mean giving up basketball just because Jess is gay. It just seems like such a waste.”

“Oh.”

“I mean you’re so talented, Ramie. Really, if I was as good as you, I’d try out for the guys’ team. And the way they’re looking this year, they might even take me.”

“The guys’ team does seem to be in need of help.”

“Seriously, Ramie, don’t you want to rethink this whole quitting thing?”

“I don’t see how.”

He gives me his best pep talk, and there are moments when I think he could be right, but by the time we get to school, I just can’t get into it.

“The truth is, I think it’d be selfish for me to stay on the team,” I finally decide as we get out of his car. “I mean I was never that into basketball before. I hadn’t even played on a real team since middle school. But Jess totally loves basketball. She always has. I think she actually likes it better than softball. She goes to basketball camp every summer and she watches every men’s and women’s game she can find on ESPN. She’s a basketball junkie. And she’s the one who talked me into trying out this year. If I stay on the team, it can only create problems between us, and for everyone else. My guess is that she would end up quitting.”

“So . . .”

“So, Jess has made a humongous mistake in becoming a lesbian, and it’s a mistake she’s going to suffer for, especially if people find out. But for her to lose basketball on top of that? Well, I just don’t want to be the one responsible for that kind of pain. Okay?”

As we walk, Mitch puts his arm around my shoulders and pulls me toward him in a tight squeeze. “You’re really a nice person, Ramie. you know that?”

I make a face at him. “Not as nice as you might think. I mean I can say this stuff and maybe it sounds good, but the truth is, there’s
a part of me that would happily go back out for the team and play my best and be sort of glad if Jess went down. I mean if it just would make her rethink all this homosexual crud, I’m sure I’d do it.”

“So, what if that was the case? Why not just go for it then?”

“Because it feels too mean. Okay?”

He smiles at me. “Okay.”

We walk into school like this, with his arm around me, and I am so glad, and I don’t care who sees us. In fact, I hope everyone sees us! It would make life so much easier if Mitch and I appeared to be an established couple. Just in case any word about Jess leaks out. Not that it will. But just in case. As I see kids I know, I kind of nod and smile and say hey, like this is no big deal. Like Ramie Grant always has a good-looking guy with his arm around her.

“Can I walk you to class?” he offers after I make a quick stop at my new locker.

“Sure, if you want.” This is a very welcome surprise, since several of my friends have U.S. History first period too. Including Jess. And this gives me another opportunity to be seen with “my boyfriend.”

We pause by the open door to the classroom to say good-bye, and then Mitch leans forward and gives me a quick kiss on the lips. It’s our third
real
kiss so far. One on the first date, one when he left last night, and now! Oh, he’s given me a few pecks here and there, on the forehead and cheeks. But this kiss, right here in public, is a real attention getter for a girl like me. And as I walk into class, I can see that several people, including Jess, were watching us.

Okay, I’ll admit that I’ve always been the kind of person who made fun of public displays of affection. If I saw someone making out in the hallway, I’d usually make a face and sometimes even say something as lame as, “Get a room, why don’t ya?” But the rules have changed now. And I realize that I must change too. Change is good, right?

So I hold my head tall as I walk into class, taking a seat about halfway up, in the same row as Lauren and BJ.

“Whoa,” says BJ. “Guess I was right about you and Mitch after all.”

I try to act nonchalant. “Yeah, didn’t I tell you that we went out Sunday night?”

She looks surprised. “No, you didn’t. Man, you work fast, Ramie.”

“Yeah,” says Lauren in this cynical tone. “This girl is just
full
of surprises.”

BJ frowns at me. “Yeah, what’s the deal, Ramie?”

“Huh?”

“Skipping practice yesterday? What’s up with that?”

“I, uh, I didn’t exactly skip, BJ. Didn’t Coach tell you guys?”

“Tell us what?” demands Lauren.

“That I quit.”

“You
what?”
BJ looks seriously shocked now and Lauren looks furious. But Mr. Hyde is already up in front and class is beginning. And, as we all know, this guy will not tolerate “visiting in class.” Mr. Hyde starts droning on about the post-Civil War era, and I can feel BJ staring at me, and I know that Lauren is livid. I guess I should’ve seen this coming. I suppose I’ve been a little distracted with Mitch. Still, it irks me that Coach Ackley never told the team that I quit. What’s up with that anyway? But then I think I get it. I bet, like Mitch, Coach is still thinking he can talk me into staying. Too bad! He’ll have to think again.

History is barely over when both BJ and Lauren practically jump on me, one on either side.

“Have you gone nuts?” BJ studies me as if she really does think I’m losing my mind. “You’re the best player on the team. How can you just walk out like that?”

“Ramie,” says Lauren with narrowed eyes. “If this is about what I think it is, you
cannot
do this. This is
not
fair.”

“What do you mean?” BJ asks Lauren. “What do you think it is? What’s not fair?”

“Ramie?” Lauren ignores BJ and puts a tight grip on my arm. “Is it?”

“Let go of me,” I tell her, shaking my arm free. “What if it is? Don’t I have a right to make my own decisions? Isn’t it
my
life?”

“But you’re letting us
all
down,” Lauren says sadly. “And it’s just because of . . .”

“What is going on?” demands BJ. She glances over my shoulder now, toward the back of the room where Jess had been sitting earlier. For all I know, she’s still sitting there. “Is this about Jess?” asks BJ.

Lauren and I both turn around to see that Jess is in fact still sitting there. She’s watching the three of us and wearing the same scared look that I saw on her face at practice yesterday. The old deer-caught-in-the-headlights expression—like is she going to run for her life or just take the hit?

But I am getting seriously fed up now. I’m tired of tiptoeing around and playing these games. And so I just look back at Jess and loudly say, “I don’t know.
Is
this about Jess?”

She doesn’t say a word, but now her expression is changing from scared to angry. I think she’s about to really let me have it. I think she’s about to tell me off. And I know she can do it. Jess, when infuriated, can speak her mind with no problem. I’ve heard her. But instead of lashing into me, she just stands, picks up her stuff, and walks out.

“What is going on?” demands BJ.

“Ask Jess!”
I stand, grab my stuff and split, almost running to get away from them. But they’re right on my heels, and I can hear BJ and Lauren bickering, and then BJ starts pestering me to tell her why I
quit the team, and Lauren is nagging me to change my mind, but I just ignore them. I just keep walking faster and faster. But as I walk, I can feel myself getting madder and madder at my ex–best friend. This is her fault. She’s the one who brought all this on. But it’s like I’m the one who’s getting tortured here. I’m the one with the friends who are turning against me. I’m the one who lost a spot on the team. I’m paying the price, but Jess is the one who’s to blame. This is so wrong. So totally wrong. And then, just as I reach the science department and I think BJ and Lauren have temporarily given up on me, a light goes on in my head. Maybe this is how Jesus felt when people picked on him. Is it possible that I’m actually being persecuted for righteousness’ sake? If that’s the case, maybe I should just keep my mouth shut and bear it.
God make me strong
, I pray as I take my seat in chemistry.
God help me
.

This thought helps me to get through the rest of the morning, but by noon I feel slightly beat up. It seems like the whole school knows now that I quit the basketball team. Okay, that’s probably an exaggeration. But the whole team knows. And it seems like every single one of them has aimed their sites at me today. Rumors are flying fast and furious now. Mostly the arrows are targeted at my relationship with Mitch. My ex-teammates, other than Lauren, are assuming I betrayed the team just so that I could have more time to spend with my new boyfriend. yeah, right.

“How’s it going?” Mitch asks, after he’s caught me from behind, which wasn’t much of a challenge since I was plodding toward the cafeteria as slowly as possible.

But I’m so relieved to see him that I throw my arms around him and hug him tightly. “I’m so happy to see you!”

He grins with surprise. “Cool. Is there any special reason you’re so happy? Or is it just due to my sweet nature and general good looks?”

Then I give him the lowdown on my morning and how things just seem to be getting worse. I even explain the assumptions about how I quit the team because of him.

“That’s crazy,” he says. “If anything, I’m trying to talk you into staying on the team.”

“Tell me about it.”

“Maybe I should tell someone else about it.”

“You mean start some
new
rumors?”

“Yeah, we could start all kinds of rumors. Just make up a bunch of stuff, toss it out there, and see if any of it sticks.”

So we start joking about all the whacked-out rumors we could start, and before I know it I’m laughing. “You’re good for me, Mitch,” I tell him, but when we reach the cafeteria I stop in front of the door. I so do not want to go in there. I don’t want to see BJ or Lauren or Amy or any of them.

“Wanna go someplace else for lunch?” he offers.

I turn and look at him. “But it’s closed campus.”

He gets this mischievous look. “But you can sneak out with me, if you want to. I’m officially checked out, you know, so I can take my car off the lot without getting into trouble.”

“Yeah, maybe you can, but I might—”

“Hey, what do you have to lose?” He grabs me by the hand. “Maybe they’ll even suspend you from the team for a couple of weeks.”

I consider this. “Yeah. Maybe you’re right.” And so, even though I know it’s wrong, I go with him. We dash over to the parking lot, and then I actually hunch down in his car, like I really think some school official is watching, although Mitch assures me that’s not the case. “Don’t worry,” he says. “My friends and I used to sneak out for lunch all the time when we were juniors, and we never got caught.”

Still, I stay down until he’s a block or two from school. Then I pop up and start laughing. “This is kinda fun,” I admit.

“And from what I hear of your mom, it’s not like she’d get mad at you for something like this,” he says. “She sounds pretty understanding to me.”

I consider this. “Yeah, she’d probably give me a little talk about how it’s my life and how the way I live it is up to me, but that I’m the one who will have to deal with the consequences. Stuff like that.”

“But isn’t that true?”

I think about this. “I guess so. But I also know I need to obey God. And part of obeying God is obeying the rules and respecting your parents and authority and stuff. But you know all about that. your dad’s probably instilled that into you since you—”

“Yeah, yeah.” He kind of brushes this off like he doesn’t want to talk about his dad. “So where’s your dad in all this, Ramie? I mean I’ve heard a lot about your mom, but you never say a word about your dad. What’s he like?”

“What’s he like?” I slowly sink back into the seat as I contemplate on how to best answer Mitch. “It’s kind of a long story,” I say, hoping that might be the end of it.

“Okay, then let me treat you to lunch and you can tell me all about it.”

So it is that we’re sitting over cheeseburgers and mocha shakes and I start telling Mitch more about my dad than I’ve told anyone. Including Jess.

“I used to just think I didn’t have a dad,” I begin. “I mean I’d never actually seen him or anything. When I got old enough to realize that everyone has a dad, I asked my mom about him. At first she just told me that my dad lived in a different country, and I kind of accepted that.”