Bring It On (22 page)

Whatever that might hold.

14

SHE’D BEEN HOME FOR A WEEK. In that time, she’d managed to avoid her family and had formally quit her job. Mr. Rand had tried to get her to stay, and part of her had been tempted. Fear of the unknown almost made her accept his offer.

It felt wrong to be cut adrift with no real direction. She’d worked so hard to become successful. She’d even held two jobs to put herself through college.

For the first time since she’d turned sixteen, Lena had no responsibilities. No boss waiting for her to come in. No rush projects that would require all-nighters.

And she almost wished that she had. Being busy might have helped keep her mind off Colt. She wondered what he was doing and if he missed her. Probably not, he was out in the middle of the rain forest living his dream.

She slept late and unpacked. Once or twice she wandered the city like a tourist, seeing the sites she’d never made time to visit. Finding another job was high on her list of priorities, but she decided to put it off for a few weeks. Mr. Rand had offered her a generous severance package, which meant she had some breathing room.

Since the decision to push Colt out of her life had been hers, it seemed stupid to mope. But it was difficult not to. One day after quitting, Lena pulled out the bin of jewelry supplies she’d stuck deep in the back of her closet. Dust fluttered to the ground when she popped open the lid.

Semiprecious jewels, crystals, beads, gold wire and silver stared back at her like long-lost friends.

The first night she didn’t stop until her stomach growled and her fingers were so sore she could barely continue the next morning. But she did anyway.

By the end of the fourth day she had an array of necklaces, earrings, bracelets and rings. Things she was proud of. She had no idea what to do with them, but she’d figure that out.

She’d figure out a way to make this a part of her life. Lena was through sacrificing pieces of herself. She enjoyed making jewelry and that was all that mattered. Even if she couldn’t find a way to support herself with it, she wouldn’t ever pack it away again.

A knock on the door startled her, causing her to drop a pair of small pliers, which clattered to the tabletop, scattering a handful of the peacock-blue beads she’d been working with.

Grumbling under her breath, Lena chased after them. She was ass up with her head as far under the couch as it could go when a deep voice sounded behind her. The back of her head cracked against the wooden edge of the couch frame. Adrenaline burst through her body. Holding her splitting head, she fell into a heap on the floor and managed to spin around at the same time.

Wyn was the last person she expected to find staring down at her sprawled body.

“What are you doing here? How the hell did you get in?”

Holding a shiny gold key in front of his face he said, “I came by to return this.”

“And thought you’d use it one more time?”

“You didn’t answer.” His eyes shifted around the apartment, looking everywhere but at her. “I was worried about you.”

He’d thought she’d be inconsolable. Or worse that she’d hurt herself. She could see it in his eyes, the sheepish realization that he’d jumped to the wrong conclusion. He probably would have preferred it if she had been comatose with despair.

“Don’t flatter yourself, Wyn. I’m hardly a candidate for suicide watch because you slept with my cousin.”

He shifted from one foot to the other and Lena realized he was nervous. Or maybe
uncomfortable
was a better word. Good.

Pushing up from the floor, Lena dropped the few beads she’d managed to find back onto the table. She and Wyn stared at each other, both at a loss for what to say next. More than the room and her scattered jewelry supplies stood between them. And probably always had.

“What’s that?” Wyn asked, pushing his hands deep into his pockets and nodding toward the mess on the table.

“I’ve started designing jewelry again.”

“That’s good. I always thought you were great at it.”

That was a revelation she hadn’t expected. “Why didn’t you ever say that?”

“You didn’t seem to want my opinion on it. You were always so independent and capable. You never asked what I thought about your jewelry, or anything else for that matter.”

“That’s not true.”

He shrugged.

“I definitely didn’t ask you to sleep with my cousin.”

A frown pulled the corners of his lips down and marred the perfect expanse of his brow. “I’m sorry about that, Lena. I honestly didn’t mean for it to happen. I never meant to hurt you.”

She blew a deep breath out of her lungs and sank slowly to the couch. She couldn’t let him take all of the blame. Yes, he’d been the one to betray their relationship, but at that moment, Lena wondered if she’d given him any other option.

“You didn’t, which probably says a lot.” She waved her hands, dismissing his apology. “It doesn’t matter. We didn’t love each other, but neither one of us wanted to say so.”

He might have taken the coward’s way out, but then she almost had, too. She should have listened to the jitters—they’d been trying to tell her something, but she’d been unwilling to take a risk and let what was safe and comfortable go for the unknown.

“Doesn’t excuse what I did.”

“No, it doesn’t.”

“If it makes any difference, we’re trying to make it work.”

Shock had Lena staring at Wyn’s face. Unable to help herself, she began to laugh. “God help you. You do realize that she’s almost ten years younger than you are and one of the most helpless people I’ve ever met.”

“That’s okay. I like that she needs me. Besides, she makes me feel young.”

“You
are
young, Wyn.”

“Yeah, but sometimes I forget that. You’ve met my mother, can you blame me? I was a little adult before I started kindergarten, my entire life laid out for me like a Christmas suit.”

Lena shook her head. “I suppose it makes sense in a weird way. She really is the opposite of everything you probably thought you wanted.”

He laughed. “She’s definitely the opposite of you.”

“Don’t I know it.”

“I’ve been thinking about it a lot, and maybe that’s why we didn’t work. We’re too much alike. Mitzi challenges me, infuriates me and makes me laugh. She sees things in a different way and makes me see them that way, too.”

“You don’t think that’ll get old?”

“Who knows, but we’re going to give it a try. We might end up hating each other or we might find that we’re exactly what the other needs. I ground her to reality and she makes me pick my head up and look around every once in a while.”

Unexpected jealousy spurted through Lena’s veins. Not because Mitzi and Wyn had found happiness together. The fact that their relationship didn’t bother her was just proof that she and Wyn had made the right decision in not getting married. But she envied that they’d found each other and had a camaraderie she hadn’t felt since she’d walked off that island alone.

From the very beginning, she’d had that with Colt. A sense of easiness, a connection and kindred spirit. Oh, he knew exactly how to push her buttons, but he challenged her and prodded her and made her question her view of the world. Or he had until it had all fallen apart.

Even on the island, in their most intimate conversations, what had he done? Challenged her view. Most of the people who might have gone to that island with her would have plied her with alcohol and told her what a bastard Wyn was.

Not Colt. He’d held her own feet to the fire and made her look logically at the bigger picture. The man was insightful and brilliant in a way that she hadn’t really given him credit for.

Silence stretched between Lena and Wyn, neither of them knowing what else there was to say.

“You don’t have to quit. If anyone should leave the company it should be me.”

“Please, we both know your dad would never let you do that.”

“Actually, I think he’d rather have you than me.”

Lena frowned. “I’m not coming back, and even if I was I wouldn’t make you leave. You’re good at your job, Wyn. Most of the time.”

“Well, would you at least consider freelancing for us? You’re the best graphic designer we’ve got. You could work from home. Take the jobs that you wanted.”

She stared at Wyn as if he’d suddenly grown another head. He was suggesting something that had never occurred to her, but that was definitely intriguing.

“I’ll think about it.” She had to consider all the angles before making a decision. What he was talking about was going into business for herself. That took planning and preparation. Rand Marketing couldn’t be her only client if she intended to make a living.

But it was definitely a possibility. And she liked the idea of having more flexibility. Of being in complete control of her destiny.

A flash of guilt crossed Wyn’s face. “So…uh…how was the honey—your trip?”

Lena lifted a single eyebrow and stared at him for several seconds. “Do you know what an idiot I looked like when Colt and I arrived at that resort?”

“Well, if things had gone according to plan you’d never have known the difference.”

“Trust me, I would have noticed. Marcy makes drill sergeants look like fuzzy puppies. And Mikhail, the photographer, was good at blending in, but not that good.”

“So you went through with it?” he asked, surprised.

“What choice did I have? I couldn’t afford that place.”

“I never liked Colt—I always thought there was more going on between you—” Lena tried not to look guilty “—but I figured he’d take care of everything for you.”

“Oh, he did. After the photographs were already taken.”

“Something tells me there’s more to that story.”

If only he knew. But she and Wyn had never had the same kind of relationship she’d once shared with Colt. They’d never talked in depth about their feelings. Never really shared their worries or struggles. Until that moment it was something she hadn’t even been aware of.

“Maybe.”

Wyn stepped closer, holding out his hand and offering the kind of comfort he’d never bothered with before. Lena didn’t accept it. Somehow it would have felt wrong. Artificial.

“I know you well enough to realize that whatever happened, you aren’t happy.”

“Let’s just say things got complicated.”

“You mean you slept with him.”

Lena resented the heat that flared up her face. It was pointless and all but screamed he was right. However, she refused to confirm his suspicions with words.

Wyn shook his head. “I know I’m probably the last person who should be doling out relationship advice, but I’m going to do it anyway. You and Colt are perfect for each other. It’s one of the reasons I didn’t like him. Whatever happened, it can’t be bad enough to ruin the bond that you share.”

“You’re wrong. We’re terrible for each other.”

“
You’re
wrong. He’s adventurous and exotic. You’re practical and grounded. You complement each other just like Mitzi balances me.”

Lena frowned.

“Trying to make it work might be risky, but would the end result be worth it?” Wyn cocked his head to the side and studied her. For the first time since they’d met, she thought maybe he was really seeing her. “Do you love him?” he finally asked.

Lean nodded.

“Then go for it. Don’t give up on love, Lena. I know from experience that it’s a tricky thing to find. Don’t let fear or duty or what everyone else expects hold you back. You have to take what you want.”

This time when Wyn reached out to her, she let him wrap his arm around her shoulder. It felt weird, having him hold her. Now that she’d experienced the connection she shared with Colt, it was obvious there was nothing here. Nothing except for the kind offer of comfort.

“I’ve always thought of you as fearless. You don’t take no for an answer. You set your sights on something and you work tirelessly until you get it. Why would love be any different? Decide what you want and fight for it. Until you win, or until there’s no breath left in your body. Either way, you’ll have no regrets.”