Bring on the Rain (12 page)

“
Hello,
Madeline.”

She crossed her arms, resting one bare
foot on the other and murmured, “Jude.”

He shook his hair back again. She
noticed his earring for the first time, a tiny one. He leaned
against the far banister murmuring, “I went by the Tavern, and they
said you had the day off. Sorry to impose, but I wanted to see
you.”

Madeline felt her stomach tighten,
remembering years ago when he’d come by here, standing in her yard,
telling her things about Mitch. Breaking her damned heart. Even
when they were young, Jude had an edge to him that screamed bad
boy.

“
I uh...I know what it must
have taken for you to trust Coy, with Brook.”

Her smile was thin. “I don't trust Coy.
I trust Brook.”

He sort-of smiled, his gaze holding
hers. “Yeah, well. It probably wasn’t easy to allow him over
here.”

“
It’s not.” She didn’t take
her eyes off him.

He bit the inside of his cheek, looked
around, then back at her again. “Coy and me seem to do nothing but
fight this year. He keeps pushing. I keep trying to make him listen
the way he used to. “His smile was rusty. “When he was a kid, I was
the law. Now, I’m an asshole who’s trying to limit his
freedom.”

She nodded.

Madeline understood that. She was more
than surprised at his smooth, comfortable timbre so she didn’t
interrupt. He apparently had a reason for showing up here in the
light of day—after twenty years of silence. She had a feeling it
was on Coy’s behalf, but she had to admit she was too damned
curious to run him off.

“
We run a dirt track, for
racing on weekends,” Jude went on, “I have a body shop, full time.
We do detail work too. Stuff for the racing circuit. Coy’s good at
mechanics, but I wanted him to take business management classes.
He’s being scouted for semi pro ball since he was a kid, Baseball,
and football, but I figured he should do something with that brain
of his. He’s a good student. Every time I say anything though, he
does the opposite. Like racing those cars.”

Madeline couldn‘t resist and offered
dryly, “It appears he’s taken after you.”

He smiled a tad. His sinewy face
usually harsh, even smiling seemed to require a lot of effort.
“Yeah. I didn’t have what he’s got, not as far as encouragement
went, and his mother is giving me all kinds of hell, because she
blames me for being a bad influence.”

He stopped, raked a hand through his
hair. He said roughly, suddenly, “That’s not what I came here to
talk about.”

Madeline tensed up.

She supplied, “Don't think I’m happy
about Brook and Coy. It’s not about what he does either. I’ve got
dreams for my daughter too, and they don't include having her waste
her emotions on someone you’ve probably taught all about
relationships.”

He grunted. “You sound like my
ex.”

She thought, what the hell, and said
bluntly, “You’re not a likable guy, Jude.” So much nicer, more
civilized she thought proudly, than saying you’re a bastard, or
ass-hole.

He sighed, looked down at the porch
floor, and muttered tightly. “I was in love with you.”

Madeline looked at him intently—dug her
fingers into her arms and…stared. Okay, she was
speechless.

His amber eyes met hers, cautious now,
his face rigid with discomfiture. It was probably hell for him to
get those words out. Still, Madeline sure as hell couldn’t speak.
Her throat was clogged with disbelief.

Half-quiet, half-mumbling Jude
admitted, “It’s why I was always around. In the distance but around
with the camera. It fueled my jealousy, looking at them. Mitch took
them from my room, not even wondering about it. I’ve never talked
to him about it either, but, I wanted you for my own.”

“
I don't believe you,” she
finally husked.

“
I don't blame you.” Again
that almost smile started but didn’t quite make it. “There wasn’t
anyone like you in our lives. The girls I dated were easy. Later,
Amy was Dove's choice, and I was…Well, she never cared for me. You
were...” His eyes went over her face. “You know how it was for us?
We got things easy and only had a few rules. I was in your classes
at school and used to watch you a lot.” He looked down again. “I
knew about your mother, how hard it was, how alone you were. I
wanted to carry you off and take care of you. But Mitch came around
and—“

“
Why put yourself through
this?” Madeline finally said, sensing his uneasiness. “It’s a long
time ago, and a crush is all it might have been.”

Jude walked over until his thighs were
against the opposite banisters, his back to her. He gazed out at
the woods at the end of the lot. “I’ve always felt bad that I
carried a torch for you so long, and intruded on you and Mitch. I
did things that hurt other people, used them. All the way up to
marrying Amy because of it. It gave me an excuse not to grow up. As
long as I didn‘t have what I thought I wanted—I didn‘t have to
pretend to want—what I already had.”

“
It’s water under the
bridge.” Madeline was almost trembling from the shock of his words
and, from what he might be leading up to.

He glanced over his shoulder, his tone
grave, “I lied to you. I lied about Mitch not loving you.” He
turned away. “I never asked him if he did, but hell, Mitch did all
right. He knew what he had in you, and was smart enough to give you
what you needed.”

Madeline closed her eyes only a second.
She allowed a moment to realize the blow and then regained
composure. “You came here, that day, is that what you’re talking
about?”

“
Yes.”

“
Well,” She swallowed twice,
but got out, “It doesn’t matter. Deena and Dovie said much the
same.”

“
Dovie would say it to get
her way. She had picked Ronda for Mitch years earlier, but Deena? I
don't know, I can only tell you I lied.”

Madeline eyed the back of his jacket a
long time, absently examining her feelings, trying to come to terms
with the facts. He was not the type of man who did these sorts of
confessions.

“
It’s all right. It wouldn’t
have made a difference. In the end, he would have married Ronda. My
presence in your family would have made problems if he had chosen
me. Nothing changed because of your lie.”

Jude turned. His voice was clearer now,
and his expression open. “Deena probably lied too. You know Mitch
loved you.”

“
I think you guys are trying
to make something out of memories,” Madeline told him. “That’s all
it is now. Whatever we had has no meaning in our lives now. We are
not the same people.”

He cursed and glanced away, then back
to her face. “I’ve not lived with this very well. Mitch is my
brother. He fell apart after you—what I said and did—and hell,
afraid to tell him, because I looked up to him, envied
him.”

It took everything in her to say it but
she told him, “I’m sorry about that, everything we do has
consequences. I’m sure you know that now. However, as far as what I
feel, you can let go. I forgive you.”

Jude half laughed, shaking his head.
“You should be pissed at the world for the way you were raised. You
got a pretty shitty deal all around. I don't know how it’s easy for
you.”

She did not look away from him, because
she wanted him to understand every word she was speaking. “I didn’t
say it was, easy. Nevertheless, I am not wasting my life. I am not
trying to live in what is over and done. I learned the hard way,
yes. But good comes out of bad sometimes, and I know what I don't
want.”

There was a string of silent moments.
He sighed and murmured, “Our children are dating each
other.”

“
Yep.” Madeline watched him
half sit on the banister.

“
I think that's all it
is.”

She nodded.

“
I don't want you holding
what I’ve done against Coy.”

She shrugged. Jude was another Coburn
who thought explanations made everything right again.

“
We’re all grown up now.
Been married, divorced, kids. We got to handle this stuff,
right?”

“
Well, your relationship
with your son, like the one with your brother, is something you’ve
got to see to. I can only say, my interest in Coy extends only far
as Brook is concerned.”

“
I understand. You don't
know him aside from us.”

They looked at each other a moment and
he subsequently nodded as if answering some mental questions,
before walking down to the motorcycle. He put his helmet on. Jude
climbed on and flipped the kickstand up, balancing it with his
legs. After snapping the strap on the helmet, he glanced up at
her.

“
I only took those pictures
you knew I was taking, I didn’t spy on y’all. I got lost when that
was going on.” He grinned and winked. “I didn’t watch or
anything.”

Madeline nodded. “It’s all right,
Jude.”

He almost grimaced. “I loved
you.”

“
You loved the idea of me.”
She shook her head. From his explanation, she knew she was right.
“You didn’t know me, Jude. We make many mistakes with our feelings
as kids. We build things up in our minds to fill up our own
needs.”

He said regretfully, “Yeah, maybe that
was it. My mind was screwed with other stuff at the time.” He was
silent, merely looking at her a long time before saying, “I hurt
you, and I’m sorry.”

Madeline had turned, gripped the brace
with her hand so that no emotion showed in her voice. “It’s over
and finished with.”

He nodded slowly, snapped the
chinstrap, and rode off.

She collapsed in the chair then, her
legs weak, her mind reeling. She felt a little queasy.

He had lied. Jude’s words added to the
others prompted her to believe the message from Mitch. Covering her
face with her hands, she took prolonged breaths. Oh God, how it
tore her up to think his jealousy of Mitch made him lie to her so
awfully.

They would never know, none of them,
what those lies had done to her. Mitch doesn’t love you, meant much
more than they would ever recognize. To them, it was all about what
they had done or how they reacted. No doubt, they thought the worst
repercussion for her had been marrying the wrong man and ending up
divorced.

Her laugh was hollow; Madeline lowered
her hands and stared out at the road. Amazing, how the Copper Creek
men could affect so much of her past, present, and future, and not
know it. No way was she lulled by anything Jude
admitted.

It was true, if they had wed, Mitch’s
family would have torn them apart anyway. However, Mitch never
planned marriage with her. They had not even talked about things
like that. It had taken all her energy to sneak away from the house
a few hours at that time, and to deal with the guilt of leaving her
mom alone so she could be with him.

He had been the only realness to her,
and had filled her world with love. He’d become her strength and
courage. She could go on an hour’s sleep and keep up her studies,
take care of her mom and the house, anything, as long as he had
wanted her.

Madeline thought now, she had been as
unrealistic as could be. As Ruby said, you never asked the tough
questions when you were young. Never had the maturity to unearth
the red flags that might have warned you not to wade in deep. Jude
might have had a young man’s love for her, the hero fairy tale
kind. However, it was doubtless tied up in his own need to be a
hero, and less to do with loving her. Maybe he wanted to be better
than Mitch. It was no secret how competitive those boys had
been.

They had all collided in a time when
other forces were at work, and none of them had real control over
what would happen in their lives. It changed nothing of the
history, of the reality, and the decisions she’d had to make on her
own. Nothing was altered in a way that would bring back fragments
of trust and love and belief in forever. That vanished when she had
been left alone and broken, forced to deal with things she hadn’t
the strength left to handle.

Chapter 8

Madeline was working at the Tavern when
Jenna and Tony Singleton came in. She was not shocked when Ruby
came in too, obviously tailing them. Winking at her, she was hiding
at a corner table. Ruby used all sorts of signals to indicate they
needed to talk.

At the first opportunity, she went over
to speak to Jenna and Tony.

“
Hello.”

“
Hi,” Jenna said cheerfully,
looking appealing in a silky blue dress. Fresh and relaxed, with
her hair not sprayed stiff for work. It was parted differently,
feathered, around her face. Her makeup was flawless.

“
You look pretty,” Madeline
told her.

“
Thanks.”

Tony frowned, sipping his drink and
muttered, “Madeline.”

Madeline met Jenna's gaze, trying to
convey a private question with a tiny frown.